The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on January 27, 1986 · Page 6
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 6

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Salina, Kansas
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Monday, January 27, 1986
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Page 6
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Living Today The Salina Journal Monday. January 27,1986 Page 6 Illness uncovers man's infidelity Club calendar Dear Ann Landers: My husband (to whom I have been married for 40 years) has Alzheimer's disease. I decided the time had come to clean out his office, which has been closed for several months. For two weeks I have been going through the files and what I learned has made me sick. I found love letters from 16 women. They go back to 1955. There were pictures of him with young girls in nightclubs. I found cocktail napkins with phone numbers and a diary that spanned 15 years. I knew some of the women he slept with. The type of business he was in made it easy for him to be out evenings. I had to stay home with the children and never complained. I was suspicious of some of his ex- cases, especially when he would come home drunk, but I never dreamed he was leading such a life. I am so full of anger and hatred for this man I can barely stand to look at Ann Landers 1 NEWS AMERICA him, yet I have no choice because he is sick. He is incontinent and I must clean him up several times a day. I also have to feed him. The expenses from his illness have almost wiped us out. What makes it so terrible is I cannot even tell him what I now know. He has no memory. Some days he doesn't even recognize me. I don't know why I am writing to you, but I must unburden myself or go crazy. I don't want to tell my children because it would kill all respect they have for their father and I wouldn't want that. Can you give me some en- couragement or advice? I feel so alone and my resentment is making me sick.—Mrs. X in the East Dear Mrs. X.: I've read about thousands of problems through the years, but yours is one of the most heartbreaking. You must be a woman of great character to want to preserve your children's high opinion of their father after what you have learned. Ask your husband's doctor to help you get some counseling. You must talk to someone. There are several good mental health centers in your area. Also, consider seeing your clergyman. And please write again whenever you feel like it. Sometimes it helps to put your feelings down on paper. Meanwhile, God bless. I will sign this. — An Admirer Dear Ann: Our society no longer refers to those with a drinking problem as "boozers." They are now called "alcoholics." Drug addicts are victims of "substance abuse." Similarly, crippled persons are now "disabled." The deaf are "hearing impaired" and the blind are "visually handicapped." Recently a correspondent wrote about the problem with false teeth. When you responded, I was amazed you also used that outmoded (and degrading) designation. I challenge you to find a single reference to this archaic term in any dental literature or telephone directory listing. Those of us without our natural teeth now wear dentures. We don't need to limit our diet to soft noodles anymore (thanks to the progress in dentistry), but I invite you to take 10 lashes with one. — Dignified Denture Wearer Dear D.D.W.: For shame. I can't believe I said it, but I did. Ten isn't enough. Make it 20. (Write to Ann Landers in care of News America Syndicate, 1703 Kaiser Avenue, Irvine, Calif. 92714.) Hand-held vacuum doubles for fly swatter Dear Helolse: We recently returned from vacation to find the house filled with flies. The fly swatter seemed to be hopelessly inadequate. On a hunch, I tried using my small hand-held vacuum to corner the little beasts and, to my pleasure and surprise, it worked magnificently. The flies were unable to escape the suction of the hand-held vacuum and were trapped inside. It was much easier to sneak up on the "targets" and zap the machine on than to worry about my less-than- accurate aim. I highly recommend a vacuum for this kind of job. The entire job was finished in five minutes. — Pat Sanders This is certainly a new one for me. — Heloise Dear Helolse: Here is a hint I hope will help others. I kept losing my crochet needles and my sister came up with a good idea. She took half of an egg carton, tun icd it egg-cup up and made holes large enough to fit each needle. In the egg cups I keep my thread, measuring tape, buttons and scissors. No Heloise's hints KING FEATURES more lost crochet needles. — Gayle Gibbons Dear Heloise: When my son was younger, one of his duties was to set the table for dinner. Occasionally he forgot the proper method and reversed the sides for knives and forks. To help him, I drew a simple diagram (using an etiquette book's illustration for a guideline) on a 3x5- inch index card. I taped the card to the inside of a cabinet door and it continues to serve as a handy reference for any table- setting volunteers. —Gay Martin Anything to help volunteers help! Dear Heloise: One day when I was in a restaurant eating, I was tapping on the bottom of a ketchup bottle but couldn't get the ketchup to come out. I ended up using the handle of a teaspoon to get it started. There were four older women sitting at the next table and one of them, who must have been 80, was tapping on the side of a ketchup bottle and there was plenty of it coining out. I finally realized that tapping on the bottom of the bottle jams the ketchup so tight in the neck that it doesn't come out very easily. Tapping on the side of the bottle near the bottom end lets the air go through the neck of the bottle and the ketchup will pour that same way. It really works. — Charles Porter Of course, the bottle has to be upside down. —Heloise Dear Heloise: About six months ago, I was making a meatloaf and needed some bread crumbs. I was out of bread, but I had some frozen hamburger buns. I took the frozen buns out and scraped the inside of the bun with a dinner fork. Perfect bread crumbs fell into the ingredients. It's fast, easy and inexpensive. — Karen Weidl Dear Heloise: I too am one of your ardent readers and now would like to add a hint of my own. Save aluminum pie plates, etc. By cutting out the center to fit your gas range burner, then cutting the rest of it to fit the burner plate, you have a burner cover at no cost. When it becomes messy, just throw it away and make another one. Gas burner covers are not cheap today. — Matilda Berg Dear Heloise: After using several boxes of coffee filters I found a better way to get at one than picking a filter from the top of the stack. Open the bottom end of the box and remove a filter from the bottom. Much easier! —Margaret McCullagh Dear Heloise: When using an almost worn-out felt-tip pen, you can prolong its life (as I am doing) by dipping it in water. — Gerrie Daubert \\ (Write to Heloise in care of Hints from Heloise, King Features Syndicate, 235 E. 45th Street, New York, N.Y. 10017.) Mammograms advisable for women in 30s Dr. Donohue: Women around here who I talk to are confused about breast cancer detection. So am I. Is un annual mammogram needed if a woman is doing periodic self- examination? I've never had one. Should I? How often? I am a 34-year- old woman in good health. I follow the self-examination suggestion religiously . — Mrs. F. 0. The debate goes on, with still no unanimity of opinion. That happens often when matters of medicine and cost efficiency meet. Let's see where the issue stands. There is no question about the value of breast X-rays (inammography) in detection of breast cancer very early in its development. Even the tiniest tumor, one that can escape notice from manual self-examination, poses a threat. The sooner it is found, the better. From this fact alone, you would think there would be no question to answer. Every woman should have the mammogram relatively early in life (in the 30s at least). But mammography is costly, averaging perhaps in the $100 range. Many women might find that prohibitive. This raises the matter of cost efficiency. About one woman in 11 will develop breast cancer during her lifetime. Is it reasonable to insist all Doctor Donohue NEWS AMERICA the others have mammograms done to detect the one cancer? When you consider the financial burden for that one patient, the answer might be different. Until recent years another important factor was considered — the potential risk from the X-rays themselves. That issue has been neutralized through more efficient, more sensitive X-ray machines that deliver much less radiation than older ones. So this is now a minor factor. The conclusion? I can only pass along latest recommendations of the American Cancer Society. It recommends the following procedure: • Monthly self-examination starting at age 20. • A doctor's examination in three- year intervals beginning at age 20 through 40. • A "baseline" mammogram at some point between 35 and 40, then annual or biennial mammograms from 40 to 49, and annual ones thereafter. On 6^ 0| 0 «J G/i&cmaAAX&a «J i Many Styles Available Order now for Valentine's Day Monday through Saturday 10823-2891 110 East Walnut name place Individually, it is a matter left up to each woman and her doctor, based on family cancer background and other factors. Dear Donohue: I want to tell you how much I enjoy your health items. I have a friend who is very, very ill with pemphigus vulgaris. He has sores on his body. Could you shed some light on it for us? What caused it and what is the cure? He is back in the hospital right now.—Mrs. R.W. I'm sorry to hear your friend has this. Pemphigus vulgaris is a serious disorder of the skin and linings of the mouth and genital tract. It usually appears in the 40s or 50s. The sores actually are large, easily broken blisters that may progress to ulcer stage. A loss of stickiness that occurs naturally between the body skin cells forms the basis for this. The cells no longer adhere, but split and form blisters. We're still groping for answers to this problem. It probably steins from formation of antibodies against the skin cells. Why that happens isn't known. Today, with use of steroids, pem- phigus vulgaris can usually be controlled. It formerly was a fatal illness. Your friend needs support and comfort. Dear Donohue: You have said often that acne gets worse in the winter. Why is that so? — Mrs. O.C. The best explanation I've heard combines two factors — the loss of the beneficial effects of ultraviolet light (sunlight) and the negative effects of emotional stresses — returning to school for example. Stress tends to trigger skin-gland oil production, the basis of acne. Dear Donohue: It seems more men than women get Alzheimers? True? -D.H. False. The incidence is about evenly divided among both sexes. 11 am-2 pm Mon.-Thurs. at MID-AMERICA INN RESTAURANT Help yourself at our SOUP, SALAD & SANDWICH BAR $ 3.95 1842 N. 9th 823-2670 DECORATING with DWIGHT PUTNAM • INTERIOR/ FREE STANDING FURNITURE OR A BUILT-IN? When you're thinking about a wall unit of any kind, or a bookcase, it's good to consider advantages of free standing units as opposed to built-ins for many worthwhile reasons. Now, we're not saying that built-ins aren't good, too, but free standing units do give you so much. For one thing, because they are not built-in, they can be put on different walls whenever you decide to re-decorate. The same applies if you ever move. Built-in shelves usually have to be left behind, but cabinets, bookcases and other wall units can go with you and be used in your new home. Not only do you have the great versatility with free standing units, but there are so many attractive ones today that are really beautiful pieces of furniture. Etageres, bookcases and wall units are available-not only to hold and display the things YOU want them to—but also to "stand on their own" decoratively. And such pieces can be used not only against a wall, but many may also be used, if you wish, as room or area dividers away from the walls. It all adds up to it way of decorating you might consider, and we'll be happy to help you. Stop in between 9 to 5 weekdays and until noon on Saturday. SEND TOPIC'S OK INTEREST TO DWIGHT PUTNAM • INTERIOR/ IRQ* iVE*UI • 67*01 COPYRIGHT Tuesday League of Women Voters of Sauna Inc., 7:30 p.m. board meeting, Marvene Peterson, 2421 Edgehill. Smoky Hill Cowbelles, 7:30 p.m. meeting, Frontier Room, Ellsworth. Salina Chapter of the Kansas Association for Education of Young Children, 7 p.m. meeting, Trinity United Methodist Church, 901 E. Neal. Program: "Insurance for Preschools and Daycare." Anyone interested in early childhood is welcome. GFWC Twentieth Century Forum, 1:15 p.m. meeting, Doris Owens, 2126 Melrose Lane. Program by music student and AFS student. Chapter IJ of PEG, 6:30 p.m. Founder's Day supper, Jo Borthwick, 162 Overfull. Program: "Our Founders" by Susie Long and Maxine Strawn. Co-hostesses: chapter officers. UMW Lois Circle of the Grand Avenue United Methodist Church, 7:30 p.m. meeting, Erma Agnes Cowan, 635 Whittinghill. VFW Post 1432, '8 p.m. meeting, Post Home. All members welcome. National Organization for Women, 7:30p.m. meeting, YWCA. AMBUCS, 7:30 p.m. meeting, Mowery Clinic. Salina Moose Lodge 721, 8 p.m. men's regular meeting, Moose Home. UCT Auxiliary, 6:30 p.m. dinner meeting, Elmore Dining Room. Elks Ladies Duplicate Bridge Club, 1 p.m., Elks Country Club. TOPS Kan., 76, 9 a.m. weigh-in; Send your news tip to The Salina Journal; up to $45 in cash weekly. 9:30 a.m. meeting, All-Star Lanes, new members welcome; 49, 9 a.m. weigh-in; 9:30 a.m. meeting, VFW, 359, 9 a.m. meeting, United Methodist Church of the Cross, 1600 Rush, new members welcome (call 825-4115 for more information), and 724, 6:30 p.m. meeting, William Bryan, 300 Maple. Tuesday Afternoon Al-Anon, 1 p.m. meeting, Bel Air Baptist Church, 1100 W. Cloud. Grateful for Al-Anon, 7:30 p.m. meeting, 643 Briarcliff. New Life Al-Anon Family Group, 8 p.m. meeting, Sacred Heart Parish Hall. Red Baron AMBUCS, noon luncheon meeting, Holiday Inn. Noon Overeaters Anonymous, 12:10-12:50 p.m. meeting, St. John's Assessment Center, 126 N. Penn. New Beginnings Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, 12:05 p.m. meeting, 205 E. South. Civitan Club of Salina Inc., noon meeting, Elmore Dining Room. Step and Tradition Study Al-Anon, 8 p.m. meeting, St Elizabeth's Church, 1000 Burr Oak Lane. For more information, call 827-4433. Herington Alcoholics Anonymous, 8 p.m. meeting, United Methodist Church. Minneapolis Alcoholics Anonymous, 8 p.m. meeting, Catholic Church classroom. Leslie Kreps Post 62 of The American Legion Auxiliary, 1 p.m. fun day, Post home, 142 S. Seventh. Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), 7 p.m. meeting, 205 E. South St. Pet caskets get fancy touches SELMA, Ore. (AP) — Pet owners can rest in peace now, knowing their beloved dogs and cats will have a suitable burial. Joe Tardie of Selma is building satin-lined coffins for pets. Some of the coffins even have viewing windows. "I love to work with wood; it's a challenge," says Tardie, a retired stonecutter. "When I get through working on something, I look at it, and I enjoy that." A self-taught woodworker, Tardie, 68, gained experience building children's toys and furniture, as well as an addition to his home. It was a neighbor who owned a small bird casket who suggested he make animal coffins for extra income. A relative of the neighbor was doing good business making and selling such coffins. "I made one, and it didn't look too bad," Tardie says. Since then, he's turned out nearly a dozen of the small coffins, each one a unique creation. Lowell and Vi Ford of Kerby are doing similar work. Tardie says there is a demand for animal coffins. "My wife's mother had a little Chihuahua, and when it died she grieved so much over it that she was in the hospital for a week," Tardie said. "She had it put in a casket, and it cost her a couple of hundred dollars." People have a special affection for their pets, he says. Tardie's pet caskets are made of plywood, with hinged lids like those of traditional burial boxes. A veneer of wood wall paneling is applied to the outside as finish, while the inside is lined with thin foam, and covered with fabric. "You've got to make all kinds of sizes, because there are different sizes of dogs and cats," he said. The largest he has made was a custom order for a deceased black Labrador. Tardie carves wood handles for the ends of the caskets. The casket lids are opened with standard brass or bronze drawer handles. Most are sold out of the area, and Tardie has learned that pet cemeteries and states have different rules regarding pet coffins. nutri/system KATHY ROBERTS TELLS: I LOST 100 IBS on the Nutri/System Weight Loss Program. I made my New Year's Resolution and Nutri/System helped me keep it. Call today!" advantage of our special offer and save 33%. Let Nutri/System help you keep your New Year's Resolution! Call today for a FREE CONSULTATION. 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