Fun The Salina Journal Friday, January 10,1986 Page 17 Family perfection sure gets dull! The Far Side By Eugene Sbeffcr For years I've had a dream. I'd wake up one day and all our kids would be employed and their cars would be running. In my mind, I fantasized about how we'd all sit around the kitchen table and talk of happy things that had nothing whatsoever to do with resumes and carburetors. We'd be a family again. Well, it happened. At 7:30 p.m. last Thursday, the "Halley's Comet of Family Living" occurred. All of us stood around the kitchen and celebrated the phenomenon. "Well, this is really great," said my husband. "It certainly will be wonderful to talk about something meaningful and get on with our lives," I added. Possibly five full minutes passed without anyone saying anything and then 1 said to my son, "Aren't you going to get a haircut..." "Made an appointment for the weekend," he said. "Did you pick up all that mail that's been collecting here all..." "Got it yesterday," he said. We sat in silence. Finally, my eyes brightened, "I'll bet you forgot Tank McNamara Erma Bombeck IOS ANGELES TIMES Grandma's birthday and she's always so thoughtful about..." "Took out her present last weekend. Had a nice visit." My husband turned to our daughter, "I don't suppose you've started saving a dime toward your car insurance?" "Paid it last week," she said. Throughout the dinner hour we struggled to find some sin against parental wisdom that we could discuss. When they were between jobs it had been so stimulating. We could give them our "Pull yourself up by your bootstrap" speech (an oldie but goodie), and when the cars broke down, it was wonderful to march out the traditional "If you hadn't been so stubborn and held out for a classic car, you'd have wheels today. Maybe next time you'll listen to your parents." The evening dragged on. They couldn't do anything wrong. They had put oil in the'car Their laundry was done within the last week. They were eating well. Their health insurance was paid up. They had no traffic tickets outstanding. I never knew perfection could be so dull. But then I was new at it. Was it possible that controversy bound us together and the parent-child roles provided a common ground for rapport? As they left, one of the motors in a car refused to turn over. "Turn off the engine before you flood it and then floor it," said his brother. "No, I know that car. Pump it," said his sister. "Nonsense," said my husband. "The battery is dead, and if you did what I told you to do in the first place, you'd have another year on the warranty." I was putting together the "You probably left the door open and ran the battery down" speech. We were a family again. "For heaven's sake, Lee. That spoiled rhino is going to either bellow or charge the door all night till we let him in." The Family Circus ACROSS 1 Vitality 4 Stole, e.g. 8 Chess victory 12 Period 13 — sapiens 14 Swear 15 Indian homes 17 Heredity unit 18 Bouquets 19 Numerical prefix 21 Dined 22 Croquet target 26 Roast topper 29 Spigot 30 " — got it!" 31 Rant 32 Mongrel 33 Cygnet's dad 34 I'nited 35 IRS concern 36 Diets 37 Basket stuff 39 Bikini top 40 Actress Lupino 41 More spacious 45 Endure 48 In a vicious manner 50 Leave 51 Medicinal plant 52 Cry for ' the torero 53 Refuse 54 Longings 55 — Vegas DOWN 1 Sunday seats 2 Skater Heiden 3 Gait 4 Actress Dame May — 5 Waken 6 Current bit 7 Antebellum's opposite 8 Henning's forte 9 — Maria 10 Weight unit 11 Ram's dam Avg. solution time: 27 min 1-10 Ans. to yesterday's puzzle 16 Scoundrel 20 Shred 23 New Zealander 24 Writer Hunter 25 Sawbucks 26 Enlarge 27 Purgab princess 28 "Sans" opposer 29 Prom jacket, for short 32 Bun seed 33 Stock unit 35 Actor Knight 36 Three- wheelers, for short 38 Pot 39 Breakfast strip 42 Hero 43 Fitzgerald 44 Deli loaves 45 Conducted 46 Fire 47 Transgress 49 — de France For Better or for Worse CRYPTOQUIP MOKWOU HflVe.16 SToPPOlKeRLLTHlS 1-10 AKR NBQ AKUU PKZU SZPN'V YRSPRYBQV KAABQRC CRME INTHE MRIL, MOM —MUST BE FOR you. "It isn't a giant. It's just Daddy stomping the snow off his feet." KRC K CPK CBCKUUPZ" Yesterday's Cryptoquip: THIS TOP PREP SCHOOL KS REALLY A CLASSY PLACE. Today's Cryptoquip clue: R equals N £> 1966 King Features Syndicate, Inc. .,. I'LL sae iFTnev STILL speAK TH6 SAMe LNsK3UA.se. — .."VABBACABBADoo?** The Lockhorns Hagar the Horrible "NOW PON'T LET THEM LOOK POWN THEIR N06E5 AT YOU OU6T 6ECA05E THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU. VUP... IT'S COUP ALL RIGHT I WONPtR IF THAT FLOOR 16 COUP ITS LIKE LIVIN6/THANKS, ON A FIXEP- (MARCIE INCOME, SIR THAT'S WHAT I 60T YE5TERPAY, THE PAY BEFORE ANP EVERY PAY BEFORE THAT! ALL I EVER 6ET ARE P-MINU5ES ANOTHER P-MINUS! Hi and Lois Wizard of id HAVE TAk-EN Mo(?E HoUP TO <5ET THE THAN FIVE / rJEEPLES OUT OF ' " MINUTES PIP YOU TAKE TH0 TPEE OUT? Rex Morgan M.D. Beetle Bailey MISS 6ALE? THIS IS 6RANT PEWISOW.' MAV I TALK TO DR. MOR6AW, PLEASE* VES---IN ABOUT PIVE AM MUTES.' TUST CALL IN ORDERS.' ARE READY THE HOSPITAL JUST PHOklED< MRS. CRAIG WAS ADMITTED TO ROOM 34O? WILL YOU NEED TO HERTHr5 Born Loser c\ WHAT'S THAT VOU'RE JlIII OOU0LB HAMBURGER WITH THE WORKS WHERE 1 D <iy ju AT MY YOU GET )( REGULAR IT?^y> LUNCH <( ( COUNTER ) v^rry YOU MEAN THAT SLEAZY DUMP YOU GO TO EVERY DAY ?! I'M 1(0 THE SHOWER,..
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