Fun The Salina Journal Monday, January 6,1986 Page 15 'Twas tough year for soothsayers The Far Side By Eugene Sheff er Most of us look upon the New Year much like a child sitting in front of a large gold box with his name on it. We can't wait to rip it open and see what's inside. That's why we devour every list of predictions to come down the pike. What trends are going to be in? What's destined to go out? Who will be hot? Who will be not! Who is going to win? Who is going to lose? How seriously should we take these soothsayers who have been divined to give us a glimpse of our future? I saved a couple of these prediction columns from 1985. According to these forecasters, here's how last year should have played. Cabbage Patch everything will be out! (Actually, there were twins this year, plus a line of clothing, baby furniture, decorating items, fabrics, linens and a fallout that included newsletters, horoscopes and college degrees for the dolls from Brussels Sprout University.) The Academy Award for the best movie of 1985 will be "Places in the Heart." (The winner was "Amadeus.") Georgetown University will win its Tank McNamara Erma •> Bombeck ^ IOS ANGELES TIMES second consecutive National Collegiate Athletic Association basketball title. (Don't tell Villanova. They think they won.) John Tower, a Texas Republican, will be appointed Secretary of Defense. (The last time I looked it was still Caspar Weinberger.) Ponytails will make a comeback. (I haven't even seen them on ponies lately.) According to predictions, we were to look for the Chicago Cubs to win the World Series. (If you weren't from Missouri you couldn't even get in the stadium. Kansas City Royals topped the St. Louis Cardinals for the title.) Another poll said Boy George was going to be very big last year. (Boy who?) It also said beer was in. (However, another poll said it was out, so bear the burden of your own decision.) The expression "chill out" was in until teachers started to use it regularly. Halfway through the year, it went out. Supposedly marriages were "in" in 1985, although commitments were out. (How many "commitless" marriages does that amount to?) Modular phones were predicted to be a smash. (That must be what they told the investors who supposedly lost their shirts on the trend.) Face it. Life is a horse race. That's what makes all of us hang on to the railing until the last minute to see how it really ends. And if you think all of those erroneous predictions will stop me from possibly getting an inside track on the new Year, you're crazy. I saw a prediction the other day that was right off the wall about how this would be the year that all kinds of substitute body parts would be "in." Maybe yes and maybe no, but I've got a list a mile long ... just in case. Thwarting the vampcow The Family Circus ACROSS 1 Wood sorrel 4 Harvest goddess 7 Butcher's wares 11 Fish bait 13 Take home as pay 14 Jane Austen novel 15 Solitary 16 Object of Cortes' quest 17 Regretted 18 Athletic game 20 Row 22 "Norma —' 24 Prairie animal 28 Satiating 32 Dried orchid tubers 33 Louisiana's Huey 34 Press for payment 36 Hawaiian goose 37 Man's tie 39 Law 41 Looked closely 43 Duffer's goal 44 Hebrew measure 46 Irish playwright 50 Andean country 53 Energy 55 Send a telegram £6 Oil exporter 57 River in 50 Across 58 Fret 59 Minister to 60 Lease 61 Fri. follower DOWN 1 Nocturnal creatures 2 Condo's kin? 3 River in Italy 4 Yoko — 5 Saucy 6 Impassive 7 Clowns 8 Large bird 9 Spirit, to Simone 10 Young boy 12 Carrousel 19 Randy's skating partner 21 Dawn goddess Ans. to yesterday's puzzle Avg. solution time: 24 min. 23 Goal 25 Olive genus 26 Camp shelter 27 Fencing sword 28 Applaud 29 Come in last 30 Fairy tale start 31 Bubble- blowing need? 35 Forty winks 38 Egyptian god 40 Grab roughly 42 Give the — his due 45 Food staple 47 Successful plays 48 Region 49 "Eye of —, and toe of frog" 50 Barbecue site 51 Before 52 Operated 54 Small rug Classified ads get results. ev\ WITH 20 coMFes&eP OH NO. HB?E 2O,OOO AUJM£> AMP TAKE TiAEStDRVTO A tv I 91ATiOM / MX>Lp|0'r For Better or for Worse We've seei4 HERE. HfH-FFlNHOUR 1 . "There he is! Somebody run upstairs and stamp on the floor!" DflVS,MICHflEL. VOU SHOULD \A)E HRV&TO LEfl\felNHflLF flN HOUR. ONLY OUST 1-6 CRYPTOQUIP WZZPDUWFPYYQ CPKM OWKEUFX X J Q JI UF DIPZG DC.INNYG FK3HT VET! OFEflCH OTHER e>y OPD CUXCYQ DEUYYGM. Saturday's Cryptoquip: OUR ADDING MACHINE SALESMAN MIGHT TAKE SOME CALCULATED RISKS. Today's Cryptoquip clue: D equals S * 1986 King Features Syndicate, Inc. i' D KecoMfweND AN UMBReuA The Lockhorns Hagar the Horrible POM'T hllPE ANYBODY TILL I TH'EY AfZ/A WI2ESTL5ME ) "LEROY'5 HAD A ROUGH WEEKEND. I ALMOST GOT HIM TO FIX THE KITCHEN CA6INET6, ALMOST GOT HIAA TO CLEAM OUT THE GARAGE, ALM06T LOOKOUT, 16 THERE ANVTHING VOU NEEP, GARFIELP? I FEEL GREAT TOPAV/ I FEEL LIKE CURING A MAJOR PI6EA6E, WRITIN& A BEST-SELLING BOOK ANP STOPPING POVERTV.' FORGET IT! I PON'T WANT TO HEAR THE REST! POVOU LIKE ME? Hi and Lois Wizard of Id NOW, THIS MOPBL \$ cpuire UNUSUAL - IT cofiAee WITH A Of THE PEST OF PUNNo- WE KiNP OF LIKE To 90 OUR R&FRI&eRAToF: pOO&S OUP5ELVES Beetle Bailey Rex Morgan M.D. YOU HAPPEN TO A /V\ARVELOUS MR- PENISON .' HE HAS A MARVELOUS BEPSIPE MAHHER 1 JU«5T WANTEP TO T6LL VOU HOW MUCH I ENJOVED LAST I SHOULD HAVE WARNED VOU WHEN VOU TOOK ME ON THE PANCE FLOOR i. I HAPWT BEEN OWE IM FIVE VEAES '. WHEN KAV WEBB GOES FOR HER UUNCW BREAK/ SHE RETURNS 6RANT OENISON'S PHONE CALL ( WHAT POCTOR VOE6. BEETLE- HAVE'? I'M SORRV THAT I COULDN'T TALK WHEN VOU CALLED, GRANT? I HAP SOMEONE IN THE CHAIR ANP ANOTHER WOMAN WAITING Born Loser HE'S HOWE, RIGHT NOW, COOKING r DINNER +—/ I HAVE THREE DEGREES AND RUN A LARGE CORPORATION OH, NO, THEY'RE STILL AROUND... I'M MARRIED TO ONE J GUESS WE'VE SEEN THE ENCP OF DUMB BLONDES I'LL HAVE VOL) KWOWJ, I HAVEN'T BEEM LATE ^ TO WOHCIW WEEKS!
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