The Salina Journal Thursday, May 18,1995 A7 ADVICE Ann Landers CREATORS SYNDICATE Paying rent doesn't excuse teen from rules Dear Ann Landers: I just read your response to "Mom in Matthews, N.C." She said her 18- year-old son, "Billy," pays rent, but she wants to put a midnight curfew on his girlfriend's visits. I couldn't believe it when you sided with her. P*irst, if Billy is still in school, what in the world is she doing charging him rent? Second, if Billy is 18, he is legally an adult, no longer a "schoolboy." If Mom feels she needs to exact rent from her son, what he buys with his money is the right to conduct his life in HIS home as he sees fit. He is entitled to have guests, set his own hours and do anything else he chooses — the same as anyone else who pays rent. Mom is playing a control game here. She wants her son to be an adult when it suits her (in this case by charging him rent), but she treats him as if he were a child when THAT suits her. The woman needs to learn that she can't have it both ways. Billy is a man now. Children do not pay rent. You goofed. Big time. — Disappointed in N.Y. Dear N.Y.: Sorry, I don't agree. Many 18-year-olds have part-time jobs these days. In my opinion, they should contribute to the family income — especially if Mom is doing his laundry, preparing his meals and cleaning his room. Just because Billy pays rent does not mean his mother should abdicate her responsibility as a parent. He still lives under her roof, and as with any rental arrangement, the owner sets the rules. If Billy thinks he can get a better deal somewhere else, he should try to find one. Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for 11 years to a total control freak. From Day One, I have let him have his way about everything. What a mistake! Now I am miserable. We work in the same building and live an hour's drive from the office because he likes to be "away from the city." I drive the old family wagon while he drives the Porsche. I am up at 5 a.m. so he and the children can sleep until 6:00, have their breakfast and be out of the house by 7:00. Needless to say, I am exhausted all the time. I am held accountable for every minute of my day and cannot have a phone conversation without my husband monitoring it and verbally editing my responses. Our sex life was always lousy because sex was low on his list of priorities — but not low enough, apparently. I discovered a while ago that he was playing around. I have been neglected, emotionally abused and virtually imprisoned for the last three years. Two weeks ago, I decided I had had enough and told him to get out. Now he says he loves me and wants me to take him back. The big problem is my family. They think I am not being fair to our children and that I should give him another chance. I tried counseling, which is how I became strong enough to walk away. What do you think? — Trouble in Timbuktu Dear Tim: I think you should go back to the counselor — this time with your husband. The counselor would then be able to hear both sides of the story. The "playing around" bit is an added dimension. You should not put up with that garbage — kids or no kids. It appears that for the first time, you are in the driver's seat. Don't blow the chance to get things the way you want them. It's about time. Gem of the Day: The beautiful part about helping someone up a hill is that you get closer to the top yourself. CON To PLACE YOUR FREE Attention, brides-to-be! A few tips will help the Lifestyles Department handle your engagement and wedding reports more efficiently. Forms are available at the office, 333 S. Fourth, that detail all information the staff needs to write the announcement. Type or print information, as errors are prevalent when handwriting is difficult to read. If a picture is to follow, indicate on the form. 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It's Easy To Respond To A Connection Line Ad The Salina Journal Connection Line is run fur the- purpose ..I introducing individuals to one another. You must IK- at least IK years old t" MI!""" "' respond I,, Connection Line ads. No ads will he published seeking io meet persons under IK years ol age or which com.ini overtly sexual, suggesnve or offensive language. ViV reserve tile right to edit or re|ccl anv aU MEN SEEKING WOMEN THIRTY YEAR old male looking for a serious relationship, seeking female between 20-35. I am 6'1", brown hair, hazel eyes, do not drink. #83761. SINGLE WHITE male, 21, seeks single white female, 21-27 for fun, companionship or possible relationship. Need only have a great personality. #26231. SEEKING WHITE female, 30-40 to love, and cherish. I am smart, funny, and fairly good looking. Financially secure. Call and we'll talk. #26547. SINGLE WHITE male looking for white female between 20-30, who enjoys country music, fishing, camping. 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Seeks white male 40-55, smoker & light drinker O.K. 60252. 23 YEAR old black female looking for financially secure, honest sincere white male, 22-32, must like kids. #20407. SINGLE WHITE female with infant, seeking long haired, blue eyed, tall male, with a good personality. 23992. SINGLE WHITE female, 5'9", looking for open minded, intelligent man, 26-36, sense of humor a must. #83482. SINGLE WHITE female, 40, plus size, seeks discreet relationship with white male 30-55. #29202. SINGLE FEMALE looking for single male, 20-25, smoker, occasional drinker. #20342. FRIENDS SEEKING FRIENDS YOUNG MARRIED couple, straight, seeking other young couples for friendship & companionship. Light smokers & drinkers preferred. Enjoy country music and outdoors. #21520. LIVING IN Great Bend, single Christian female looking for new friends. Enjoys outdoor activities, road trips. Bible studies, concerts, etc. #82438. MARRIED WHITE couple, in search of white couple for travel, fun or staying at home. Must be honest, trim and intelligent. #23450. MIDDLE AGED couple would like to meet others between 40-50 for friendship and companionship. Both straight. Hays- surrounding area. #45927. CURIOUS, WHITE married couple, 30's. enjoy sports, outdoors and movies, seeking people 30-35 for fun. friendship and possible discreet relationship. #82663. 35 YEAR'Old male white, above average, seeking people to share friendship and companionship. I'm straight, love the outdoors, and quiet evenings. #62293. MID 40'S couple wants to meet others for exciting fun and good times Discretion assured. Visit Salina occasionally from out west. Non-smokers preferred. #80523. COUPLE WOULD like to meet other friends. #86688. FRIENDS SEEKING FRIENDS SINGLE WHITE male. 37, tall, attractive, looking for white female for no-strings (un. out ol towners welcome. #82894. MARRIED COUPLE would like to meet other married couples for friendship and fun. Enjoy country music. #67521. WHITE MALE, bi, curious, 27, looking for friends (or fun & exciting times, must be clean and discreet. #83165. MARRIED COUPLE ,40, want- Ing to meet other couples (or adull (un & dining out. Discreet assured. #29203. WHITE MARRIED couple 40's, trim & attractive. Seeks couples lor adult lun. #63990. MARRIED COUPLE wanting to meet other couples for friendship and fun. #25019. COUPLE WOULD like to meet others for friendship and compa- nlonshlp.#61245. COUPLE WOULD like to meet others for friendship and companionship. #61245. WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN LOOKING FOR female who is between 25-33, 130 lbs.-150 Ibs., 5'5"-5'8", with the following characteristics: Attractive, physically fit, intelligent, outgoing, humorous, non-smoker, independent, adventurous, professional worker. #29211. WHITE FEMALE, 23, seeking female around same age for companionship and possible discreet relationship. Enjoy outdoors and having fun, Salina area only. #64723. HISPANIC FEMALE, 30, seeking female 30 or younger with same interests. Enjoys reading, walking, movies, music, conversation and maybe more. #42423. BI-WHITE female, 24, seeks female same age for adventure and companionship. Must be discreet, no head games, Salina area, please. #82353. GAY WHITE female, in her 40's looking for other women same age lor friendship or whatever. Smoker. New In town from Minne- sola. #21003. BI WHITE female, 28, blonde, blue eyed, loves life, enjoys traveling, bicycle rides and kids. Seeking bi female with same Interests. preferably physically fit. 47728. 25, WHITE, dark hair and eyes, broad range of interests and ideas. Seeking open minded, fun female for friendship and possibly more. 42260. BI-SEXUAL 30 year old white female seeking women for fun and' friendship. Must be clean and dls- creet. #23630. DIVORCED WHITE female, 22, seeking single- divorced female, 21-35, for friendship and possible roommate. #42469. GAY WHITE female wanting to meet the same. Are you brave enough to live the fantasy? #87102. WHITE FEMALE, 5'6", blonde hair, blue eyed, seeking white, 20-35 year old lemale who is adventurous and fun. 84529. SLEEPLESS IN Salina, looking, hope to find you soon. Please call. #27426. MEN SEEKING MEN ATTRACTIVE white male, 29, 5'9", 155lbs., outgoing, sensuous, humorous. Dig romantic interludes, nights on the town. Seeking attractive, emotionally healthy, 24-30, depth, positive attitude. 23387. VERY ATTRACTIVE gay white male, 29, 5'9", 155lbs., outgoing, sensuous, humorous. I dig romantic interludes as well as nights on the town. Seeking attractive, emotionally healthy male 24-30 wilh depth and positive attitude. 23387. GAY WHITE male, 27. likes working out, camping and being outdoors. Seeks persons 18-25 who have same interests and know what they want from life. #22932. HEALTHY white male, 24, 6'1", 174lbs., GQ looks, enjoys traveling. Outgoing, enjoys challenge. Seeking attractive, 24-30, who will stimulate my mind, body, soul. 29198. STRAIGHT ACTING, white male, 23, seeks good looking, gay friend. 21-35, any race for good times and companionship. Must be straight acting, healthy, honest and enjoy playing pool. #29205. GAY WHITE male, masculine, straight acting, likes sports, music, working out, outdoor activities. Kansas Gay Rodeo member. Looking (or man with same interests & qualities. #29204. MALE, 20 years old, likes to dance, slow dancing music, travel & talk on the phone. Looking for male 20-24 with same interests. #42828.. GAY WHITE male, 30. 6', 205. Enjoys music, movies & sports. Seeking man 25-40 for fun & friendship. Must be discrete. 41525. GAY WHITE male, 26. 6'. 150 pounds, black hair, hazel eyes. Actively involved in the Gay Rodeo Association, looking for someone. 20-? #21895. WANTED: MAN with a passion for life, creative, outgoing, enjoys sports and theatre. I'm 27 and want to make a difference. How about you? 67059. WHITE MALE, 26, single, seeking man 25-40 for fun and companion. Must be discreet from North Central Kansas. #65474. GAY WHITE male, 19, discreet, 240lbs., 6'2". Seeking gay white male 18-21 only, in good shape to help me get In shape. 67316. BLACK MALE, 29, 6'2", 170 pounds, wants to meet gentleman for a caring, loving relationship. Age, looks not important. #23980. number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting message. People responding to Connection Line personal ads do so at iheir own risk. Caution should he taken by both parties. To ensure safety, persons should carefully screen all responses. We suggest tint lust ng. By using G iimeauin Line he .id lot to leave his/her phone eetings IKCUT ill a pnhlic place. The Salina Journal assum spumcs, damage, iniuty ot relationship resulting trom an ad i We no liability for the the Connect! ,,n,ent i, I ine ssho advertise or respond to Connection Line ads assume complete liability and responsibility for such participation and any damages ot consequences that arise ihcieiioin. and wee to'hold the Salina Journal harmless from costs, expenses (including attorney s lees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by any publication or recording placed h the advertiser nt any reply to such advertisement in the Coimeciion i.mc.
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