The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on January 3, 1986 · Page 15
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 15

Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Friday, January 3, 1986
Page 15
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Fun The Salina Journal Friday, January 3,1986 Page 15 Don't let daughter marry a skier The Far Side Crossword By Eugene Sheffer Erma Bombeckis on vacation. One of her favorite columns is reprinted here. Everyone says joggers are fanatics about their sport, but beside skiers they almost seem lucid. Skiers are really weird people. Who else would pick a pastime in which you select the most inaccessible place in the country that is going through the worst weather in its history, spend two treacherous days getting there, strap two planks of slippery wood on your feet, ride to the top of a mountain and try to get down without the help of the ambulance at the bottom of the hill? Money is exchanged for this. Before I select a doctor, lawyer or accountant, I ask if they are skiers. I don't care if they have 15 diplomas on the wall and graduated at age 16,1 will not entrust any part of my future to a person who thinks the ground is softer if it is covered with snow. There may have been a time when skiing was a seasonal sport. When the snow fell, everyone strapped the two tree trunks to his feet and took Tank McNamara Erma Bombeck LOS ANGELES TIMES off. That is no longer true. Skiing is every bit as demanding on a daily basis as jogging. When snow is falling nowhere in the United States, enthusiasts ski in their living rooms with warm-ups and exercises that keep their legs in shape. (Note: If you're going to marry a skier, marry tall, because you will have a man or woman who will walk with knees bent 11 months out of the year.) Then they start on vitamin A, which gives them breath that smells like that of a thousand camels who have just eaten sardines. As soon as the furnace is turned on, they start to get their equipment into shape, waxing the skis and checking the bindings on their boots. This is followed by the vigil of the snow. Where is it falling and how can you get there when it does? I am married to a ski person who has astounded me with his ambivalence. He will ski for eight hours until his feet are numb, his mind is confused, and the hairs in his nose break off, only to come back to the lodge and complain to the manager that there is no heat in his room. I have seen skiers hobbling around on crutches and sporting a cast like a medal of honor, and crazies getting in one last run before the blizzard closes the chairlift. Recently in California, skiers were told there possibly was an active volcano under the slopes. The reply was, "Hey, we'll take our chances. Where else can you get a 55-inch base?" I'll be honest with you. I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a skier. ACROSS IMap feature 6 Actress Lupino 9 — Hill, San Francisco 49 Ruined '12 Gear part 52 Quick re- 13 Lunatic jections 14 Dr.'s org. 53 Ogle 15 Stradivar- 54 Chopin 41 Vat 43 Append 44 Zeus's spouse 45 Halloween role 47 Unendingly Do you need another employee? Hundreds of readers are looking through the classified ads every day. Phone 823-6363 and an ad-taker will help you. Butterflies from the wrong side of the meadow The Family Circus 1US teacher 16 In time 18 Papal legate 20 Emerald Isle 21 Like a hippie 23 Shed tears 24 Disrobed 25 Twilight 27 Bowling alley button 29 Patsy 31 Contract part 35 "M'A'S'H 1 character 37 Quick jaunt 38 Pittsburgh product piece 55 Before 56 Bankroll 57 Deep sleep DOWN 19 Prepared to make a cobbler 21 RN's associates 22 Drop's cry 24 — canto 26 Seoul brother? 28 Use a brush 30 Guy's date 32 On the — (honest) 33 Comic Caesar 3 Unspecified person 4 Famous last words 5 Goes on a diet 6 Tope 7 "Banana Boat Song" word 8 Byron's daughter 9 Zenith's opposite 10 Card game 34 Finale 1 Call — day 11 Howled 36 Made 2 Alias 17 — a pin amends Avg. solution time: 26 min. 38 Fluoresced 39 Domingo, for one 40 Rub out 42 B.B. King forte 45 "Naked Maja" painter 46 Division word 48 Grass moisture 50 Altar 1-3 Ans. to yesterday's puzzle 51 THGoroet? IN VDUf? COKJFEJ?ENJCG ON) -W& PuAfOeT, OK WHAT ? NJO SPECIAL COURSES F?iSMT For Better or for Worse CRYPTOQUIP THE. vortoue. place is "Into what?" I m going to go change PJ!. New NEW WBLLPRpeR. : NREKIVSTT RHDUNB LHDUNB'T REAL UAMQVSD: NMM DEKB IT LOOKS Tfte Q A S E I T. Yesterday's Cryptoquip: OUR FARMER'S COMMENT ON HIS AWFUL WATERMELON PATCH: "IT'S THE PITS!" Today's Cryptoquip clue: D equals M © 1986 King Features Syndicate, Inc. YOU'RE 17 POUNDS OVERWE1C5HT.BUT WHO'S COUNTING? The Lockhorns Hagar the Horrible THAT FPIESP OF OLAF, \& THE PUPEST MAM IVE BVEP MET/ MAA/ -YOU 5\ieR MET/ " I'M GOING TO REARRANGE THE ROOM. YOU MIGHT LOOK BETTER OVER AGAIN6T THE OTHER WALL..'" NOT EVEN ME NOBOPV TAKE.5 ME SERIOU6LV (I CAN ALWAYS FILL \JUAT IN LATER .. I miss you more each day. I love you more than words can say. THAT'S NICE BUT WHO ARE YOU WRITING Hi and Lois Wizard of id I NEVER CAN THINK" OF ANYTHING TO SAV WHEN SHE J06T LIVES THE CAN'T 60 OVER TO HER HOUSE? CHIP, I HAVE TO use rue PHONE BUT I STILL. HAVE A LOT OF 1/VtPORTANT STUFF TO TELL LOU/ Rex Morgan M.D. Beetle Bailey GOOD MORWIWG, GRACE.' A\Y FATHER HOA\E? VE-5,/VMSS .' HE'S IN THE LIBRARY .' WE'D BETTER ARRAU6E FOR HIM TO HAVE A 6LUCOSE TOLEKAWCe TEST' HI? BLOOD •5U6AK IS ELEVATED, REX/ THE REST Of THE LA& WORK IS WITHIM NORMAL LIMITS .' I WHAT \€> IT I A BREAKFAST- CEREAL SILENCER HUTTV? THIS WILL MAKE ME AHEf?OTO ANVOWE WHO EVER SETS A HANDOVER WHAT NUTTY INVENTION ARE you WORKINOON slow?. , _ Born Loser SO MUCH FOR i OH, NO .' I FORGOT TO FILL, MY CASE.'/ LIKE ID OOIM HIM, fHEN THIS WILL 9E THE MATCH OF THE YEAR BECAUSE WORLD'S BEST SALESMAN. I HEAR VOU'REji THE WORLD'S Vf SAY THE MATCH OF 1 T-LJCT X/C'AC? I -/

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