Lansing State Journal from Lansing, Michigan • Page 29

lio's to Blame For odern Car's st! You Co Heavier Autos, Power Equipment Say Experts Sundoy, Sept. f5, 1957 PogT Anions Factors Cited Butch Looking for a Lost Doji Is Fun for A Small Boy By DWIGHT PITKIN DETROIT, Sept. 14 If your family budget hurts every time you, drive your car up to a gasoline pump and tell the attendant to "fill 'er up," the experts say you've only yourself to blame. In spite of the fact that today's car engines are more efficient and gasoline is packing more power than ever, you're probably not getting as many miles per gailon as Grandpa did driving the old high-wheeled family flivver. The reasons, the experts say, are many but most of them begin with you.

It was you who wanted power steering, power brakes and automatic transmission. It was you who slammed your foot down on the pedal as soon as the light turned green to get ahead of the pack. It was you who wanted a nice, heavy, secure car under you, one that wouldn't turn over. It was you who wanted that expressway built so you could make it up to Lake Faraway in three hours. When the experts pat themselves on the back and say it's lucky for you that they are making such progress in engines and fuel or it would cost you a good deal more than it is.

The School Doesn't Set Mom Free A j' 1 fife By JACK BOLT (Journal Sfsff Writer) MY NAME IS STEVIE JOHN" I like to run and jump and yell loud. But Mommy doesn't. I mean she doesn't like me to. Not even in the house. And Daddy always says Hey Steve little less noise hev be quiet hey pipe down HEY QUIET! But my doggie Butch likes me to run and jump and yell loud.

Then he does it too. Only he doesn't yell just barks. Loud. One time we ran around the yard and made lots of noise. Mommy put her head out the window and said What's going on? I stopped and looked all over but didn't see anything.

Mommy just shut the window so Butch and me yelled and runned some more. We always have fun. I wish my doggie Butch would come back home. Cuz one day he runned too far and didn't come back. It was dinner-time and Mommy told me Better give Butch his dog-food now.

I looked in his dog-house that Daddy made for him one time. It was all dark so I had to crawl way inside to see. But when I stuck my head and shoulders in then it got darker. I called loud Here Butch. But all that noise scared me a little bit.

I guess Butch wasn't home. I looked all the way to the end of his chain. He wasn't even hooked on. I looked all By KNIGHT D. McKESSON (Journal Special Writer) When school begins again this fall I must admit to a bit of jubilation.

With the sprats off getting exposed to all that erudition and culture five or six hours a day, the wife will have some time to loaf around a bit, I tell myself. Eat bonbons, read a few French novels; that sort of thing, you know. After all, with only one bairn at home Friends, I'm here to say it doesn't work out that way. I come sneaking home in the afternoon like an old he-coon in a chicken house. "Catch her taking a nap." I say to myself.

"No more of that old razzmatazz about a woman's" work never being done." This is a standing joke around the place. At least right up until then I think it is a joke. "Lady of leisure," I call with a smirk as I walk in the front door. Standing there in the kitchen doorway is the most frazzled female I see since the hawgs got into grandma's pickle patch. "What are you doing-home-in-the-rniddle-of-the-afternoon take-this-kid-so-I-can-get-some-work-done." she says, and she is off in a spray of mop water to perform sundry noisy functions in the kitchen.

And there I stand like a stick in a bean patch, the doorknob in one hand, and 18-months growth of humid diaper which suddenly develops a mother fixation in the other. Thirty minutes later I mention the boss may be looking for me. coward," she says, "go back to your desk and leave me with this dynamo of destruction. All morning I spend folding clothes. Then the baby helps II Ml II HUM III I III PORTRAIT OF A WiTCH Salem's witch hunts guilty of witchcraft walking to the qahows with the grim-faced hangman of her stern judges.

(AP Photo). were only a morbid memory by the time artist Thomas Sailer Noble painted "The Salem Martyr" in 1869. He portrays a young girl found if If Si SALEM IIYSTERI-V RECALLED GASOLINE GAUGE Do you think Grandpa went further cheaper in his trembling flivver than you can go in today's power-packed automobiles? Maybe, but not as quickly, comfortably or efficiently. Engineers claim it's not fair to compare today's big, powerful cars with the Model A or Model T. They gauge economy and efficiency by the number of miles a gallon of gasoline will move a ton of automobile.

By this standard, the chart shows that at a cruising speed of 40 miles an hour, ton miles per gallon increased from 29 in 1930 to 45 in 1955, a gain of more than 50 percent. Over the same period, the average weight of cars increased from 3,500 to 3,950 pounds, horsepower went from a little less than 75 to more than 160 (much more today), and the life of a car more than doubled. (AP Photo.) American Petroleum institute says that two gallons of today's gasoline do the work that three did in 1925. LOOK TO MILEAGE Nevertheless, ear buyers today seem to be taking a sudden interest in gasoline consumption. They seem to be more interested in foreign-made cars, like the Volkswagen, cars that arc said to make about 35 miles to the gallon.

The American car market is expected to absorb almost 200.000 of these small, lightweight cars this year with expectations of double that in 1953. Manufacturers are taking the American consumer seriously on the possibility that car buyers, pinched by taxes and inflation, want an auto cheaper to buy and to operate. In Europe and other foreign areas where gasoline costs almost twice as much as it does here, smaller cars are a necessity. The evolution of the American motor car is the story of See FLIVVER Page3l7Col- I Massachusetts Act Erases Witch Stkma By JOY MILLER (AP Newsfeatures Writer) SALEM. Sept.

14 y. Bridget Bishop was a buxom, twice-married widow who wore red bodices and lace, had a way with men and kept a tavern just outside Salem village in which she permitted young people to play hovelboard until unseemly hours. Obviousiv she would tome to no good end. To Furitan over the yard behind trees under bushes an in my sand box. I called and he never answered.

I went next door and yelled by the back door Here Butch Here Butch. The lady came out and said Hello Stevie how are you? I said soft Fine. She said Would you like a cookie? I shook my head lots so she showed me a great big plateful. I just took threesixnine of them. I sat on her back porch and ate lots.

I like cookies. When I was done then I called loud more Here Butch. The lady came out again and said Well still here? I said Yes I can't find Butch. So she gave me two more cookies. Then I went next door to her house and looked in their garage.

I was going to look behind all the windows piled in the corner only the hose tangled my feet up and when I walked that made the lawn mower tip over. And that made the charcoal burner lip over. And then whole lots of cans tipped over. And all kinds of tools just fell right off the wall. That made so much noise that I didn't even look in that garage any more.

Then I went next next next door. I rang the doorbell and called loud Here Butch. A lady opened the door and said Hello little boy. I said I'm fine. She just looked at me a long time.

So I told her I can't find my doggie Butch. She said Oooooh. Then she said matrons who gossiped endless- Sleepy People Wcslcrii Union Has a System For Gelling 'Em Out of Bed was jolted to find a witch in the family. Most of the witchcraft convictions had been reversed in 1711, but apparently no relatives were around then to speak up for Ann. Bridget, or Wilmot Redd.

Susanna Martin. Alice Parker and Margaret Scott. Greenslit wrote to Robert W. Hill, a Salem lawyer now retiring as district judge after 37 years, to see what could be done about clearing their names. "He got me interested." Judge Hill recalls.

"It seemed By HOWARD BENEDICT See 20 Page 31, Col. 1 (AP Newsfeatures Writer) NEW YORK. Sept. 14 The world is full of sleepy peoplesome of them so sleepy that they send themselves a daily telegram to make sure they get out of bed. Western Union reports it serves as an alarm clock for nearly 160.000 persons a year half of them in New York city.

Why so many reluctant risers are in New York is a matter of specilation. but one com- AsWeSeelt ly about her this seemed as certain as doomsday. But before the devil set up shop in Salem, not even the good housewives, for all their affronted respectability, would have presupposed her death as a witch, however privately they may have relished the thought. Death came on June 10, in lb'92. She was hanged all alone from a big oak tree on Callows hill, the" first of 20 to be executed in the witchcraft mania that began with a handful of teen-age girls afflicted with pre-Freudian hysteria and ended with neighbor set against neighbor.

For 265 years Bridget Bishop and five others remained branded as witches. CLEARED OF CHARGES Late last month in a legislative resolve signed by Gov. Foster Furcolo. she was. for all practical purposes, cleared of charges that included murdering a few neighbors, consorting with the devil and causing a farmer's cart to he stuck in a hole that later vanished.

Bridget owes her restored good name to Ann Pudeator. one of the last witches hanged and an upright woman who more than likely in her lifetime had very little good to say for the flashy tavern-keeper. A dozen years aso H. Vance Greenslit. a descendant of Ann Pudeator who had been Ann Greenslade before her marriage to Jacob Pudeator looked up his genealogy.

He nffiriM twho ives in iew nanv York) guesses that "New Yorkers work harder, play harder, By HOD SHEWELL and PHIL MONGEAU Bankers are a trusting lot even chain down the pens. Married women would make excellent parole officers. me. In five minutes by the clock on the wall she has my laundry spread over the entire neighborhood." "Well," I say, "she's just tryna help "And then," says the light in my chandelier of love, "when I try to mop the floor she plays patty cake in the water. Where I already have mopped, yet." Then she sighs and falls into a chair.

"Hi mommy." says the sprat, and she waddles over and pats her on the knee. "Hi!" Mommy smiles ruefully and says, "Hello, my little free falling missile." The baby gurgles sweetly and empties the ash tray on the carpet. "I remember once, years ago, when I had only to say, 'who wants to watch the or 'take the baby for a ride in the and have a roomful of volunteers," she says. "Them was the good old days. There are kids to find the hairbrush (no mean chore in my house), kids to run upstairs, downstairs, kids to go to the store, kids all over the place, fighting, arguing, yelling and helping me between bouts.

"The sacrifices I make in the name of education," she says. Then she straightens up in her chair. "What's that?" she says. "I don't hear anything." I say. "Exactly," mutters this omniscient female I marry, and she heads for the kitchen at a dead run.

There sits that sweet cherub on that clean, clean floor, wearing a beautiful smile and the sugar bowl, off the forehead. "Gugar," she says brightly, holding up a handful for us. She's not selfish anyway. But she is wet. Again.

"I feel like the boy who drops his gun in the henhouse." says wife. "I just don't know what to do." But then the rest of the kids come ripping into the house for a bit of quick energy and the baby happily begins pounding them about the shinbones with an'old Lincoln log. "Kin we take Laurie for a walk in the stroller huh, huh, can we huh?" they shout. "Put some dry pants on Ijer, find her sweater, get her hat and where's the hairbrush" the wife says like a machine gun. And she adds, "Now that the ranks are back to component strength, I think I'll lot the reserves take over.

I'm going to take a little nap." Clean: The opposite of dirty. If cleanliness is, as they say, next to godliness it is rather interesting to observe that clean means Tit to be eaten. If a person is clean, he may not only be undirty; he may be well-proportioned or trim. He may be free from intestinal cbstruction. If he is clean-cut, his surface is smooth and his are even.

"Clean indicates freedom from imperfections or interior flaws. In regard to ships, it means having an empty hold, or an unfouled bottom. It means correct, legible, without rubbish. person is clean who is clear, undimmed, pure, unpolluted, proper, well-built, shapely, clever, smart, dexterous, even, complete, or perfect. Cleanness means a scarcity of food, from which it may be argued that a clean person may be suffering from malnutrition.

A cleaning, however, may connote one's separation from the greater share of his property or holdings. If an individual sends another to the cleaner's, he ruins him financially. To clean up means to make a killing, yet rarely inderd does this involve actual manslaughter. A clean bill of health (which is not exactly the opposite of a dirty bill of health! is usually received from a doctor of medicine, who follows this with a second type of bill demanding one or more specimens of a third type. In this manner he cleans up.

or makes his killing. If a fish is ciean. this implies that among other things its scales have been removed. Applied to a butcher, this would designate him to be without weighing apparatus, which 1 be awkward. Nevertheless, this does not indicate that butchers should not be clean.

They should be models of cleanliness, always prepared to clean up and 'o take their customers to the cleaner's whenever an opportunity presents itself. If a person cleans up on another, he knocks him out cold. In this situation the second person is also said to be out clean, although his condition may have resulted from a dirty blow. The true value of the word "clean" is thus seen to be debatable, and the little urchin who hates soap and water can find his champion in the real secret country is lan this Poor little fellow just wait a minute. I waited.

Pretty soon she came back with a glass of milk and two-three graham crackers. I sat on her front steps and ate whole lots. After a while Mommy way far away called Stee-veee. My mouth was full so I said Yump. She called more Stee-vee John.

I quick drank the milk and ate the other graham cracker and runned back home. Mommy said Where on earth have you been? 1 told her Just looking for Butch. She said Well you'd better eat lunch you must be starved. But I wasn't. I wasn't hungry either.

I guess when you look for lost doggies then you just never get hungry. I think tomorrow I will look for Butch some more. I like to walk all over the neighborhood. I like cookies too. The in vodka.

were not too suspicious of fake calls and several unwitting persons were routed from their beds at an early nour and many a bride and groom became the butt of a wedding night practical joke. Now, if an operator has any reason to doubt the veracity of a telegram, she may call back the number immediately to determine if the message was placed by someone there. About 70 percent of all wake-up calls are for 7 a. m. or earlier, with Saturdays and Sundays the lightest days.

The first day after a three or four-day holiday brings a pickup in business. Daylight saving time seems to confuse a lot of people, also booms wake-up requests. Operators face their tough est task in the winter. Said one: "A customer under a mountain of blankets on a cold day is close to being an immovable object. It's like waking a hibernating bear." We never fight about money at our house never have any to fight about.

Some men spend 100 percent of their time telling how much work they do. "The Best Things in Life Are until you open that mail-box after a vacation. A gel-rich-quick scheme may fulfill your dream of having an iron fence around your home and it may be furnished by the state. ft I'll bet if the Washington senators donned the suits of the Washington Senators the results either way would be about the same. Mostly Nonsense By DICK MURRAY Stan Party HOUGTOX LP Mr.

and Mrs. Uno Warjakka of Lac La Bell have a pet deer. Paddy, that likes to drink beer and chew-tobacco. They've cut off his tobacco because he swallows it. But he is allowed beer along with plenty of milk and sugar.

and therefore sleep harder. Los Angeles rates second with 25.000 annual subscribers to the wakeup service. Washington and San Francisco each have 16,000 and Cm-cago has 14.000. Seventy-five percent of the calls go to regular customers, who want to be called every day except Saturday and Sunday so they can get to work on time. -Most of them would sleep through an alarm clock, a banging garbage can or a booming cannon, but a ringing phone seems to jolt them.

Some people sleep so soundly they ask the operator iO phone them at specific 10 or 15 minute intervals until she is certain they are awake. PERSONAL TOUCH The operator usually greets the customer with a simple: Good morning. It's 7 o'clock. Time to get up." But a Sew persons put a more personal touch in their messages to themselves, such as: "Good morning. Harry, it's 7 a.

m. and you should be getting ready to go to the office." Besides the steady customers, some use the service to be awakened to catch a plane or train or to keep a fishing or golfing date. Many telegrams are filed between 2 and 4 a. m. by persons who have been partying a little too much and fearlhcy won't be able to wake up under normal conditions.

A New York anesthetist depends on the wake-up service to keep scheduled surgery appointments. A woman, with several members of her family ill at one time, sent herself a wake-up telegram every hour to remind her to administer medicines at prescribed periods. One request came from a 10-year-old boy who wanted to be wakened at 3 a. m. in time to see the circus unload.

A bride-to-be, fearful of be ing left waiting at the altar after an all night bachelor party for the bridegroom, sent him this wire: SOME ARE FAKES 'Wake up dear. This is our wedding day. When the service first start- JUDGE JAMES E. RYAN liny Transport MILWAUKEE Tainted on the back of the tiny car used for deliveries by the Dan Fitzgerald Pharmacy is the sign: ''Wee (Journal Staff Writer) Because he parked his car illegally in an alley a young Oklahoma driver was charged with the following: Possession of illegal whisky, vagrancy, wife and child abandonment, and illegal parking. This experience should boost parking lot business considerably.

A tiny car used for drug store deliveries in Milwaukee has this sign on its back: "Wee deliver." Probably confines itself to pills and aspirin. London has published a new guide for the city's 10.000 college freshmen. The booklet tells when, where and how much it costs to bathe, in case the student happens to live in one of London 510,000 houses without bathtubs. Students who are broke can just hope for frequent rains. Wilburn L.

Haven of Albuquerque, N. was puzzled by a letter asking him why he doesn't have a selective service number. MSgi. Haven has been in the army for 23 years. Must be too old.

j-" I "Tl YIPES IT'S TIME -J I JUNIOR. ITS TIMEX TO 6IVE AUNT SAHj3 iFT ssj T6ET UP MTrjJhl MiOTH EmtgJ I UJ'kTZ SALES PROMOTION (A True Tale) Don Melch. of Cincinnati, Found his business rather slow; His seventeen old autos Caused his lot to overflow. He fastened up a placard And it had this to say, "I'll break fifty 'Elvis' records If you'll bay a car today." This sign ivas very fruitful, For as sure as you're alive, That night our Don discovered He'd reduced the lot by jive! Swimming moy improve a person's fig-ore, but if hasn't done Uiuch for the duck..