Iowa City Press-Citizen from Iowa City, Iowa • Page 15

f. JL TUESDAY, JUNE 16, 1987 Iowa City Press-Citizen Page 1C ABOUT PEOPLE ItH at fi iwi in nm intdtThmt miTi-n tremor Willis moves out as case dismissed LOS ANGELES Moonlighting star Bruce Shrader sets sights on becoming a masseur By Lynda Leidiger The Press-Citizen Willis has moved out of his rented home and authorities have dismissed a case against him brought on by a noisy party, officials say. City attorney's spokesman Mike Quails said Monday that prosecutors determined there was insufficient evidence against Willis, who portrays wise-cracking detective Dave Addison on the April 26, 1984, was the night the lights went out for Stan Shrader. Forever. He was bar-hopping with friends in Willis California when, on a three-block trip between bars, he smashed his motorcycle into a truck at 50 miles an hour.

He hadn't bothered to put on his helmet. "It would have never happened if I hadn't been drinking. I must have been ABC-TV series that co-stars Cybill Shepherd. Willis, 32, last week appeared before a hearing officer to determine whether he would be charged with a misdemeanor for allegedly rushing at police officers and screaming obscenities as they sought to shut down a Memorial Day party at his Hollywood Hills home. Neighbors said later they had complained several times about loud parties.

Bernstein ends tour on high note American conductor-composer Leonard Bernstein had a few bad moments but ended his visit to Munich, West Germany, on a bright note. He received a ($83,333) award Monday from the Munich Academy of Fine Arts to promote music eucation in the United States. The Ernst von Siemens Music Prize, sponsored by the Siemens electronics firm, is West Germany's most prestigious music prize. Bernstein had a bad weekend in Munich. Police said thieves took his watch, valued at $16,000, from the cloakroom of the German Museum Saturday before he was to conduct a concert there.

That evening, there was a bomb threat and the concert hall was evacuated. Police said no sives were found and the concert began an hour late. Friends help Cuomo celebrate "I was being a bum," he said, "just getting by." He isn't proud of that time, and vows never to return to that kind of aimless-ness. "This time I don't care if it takes me 20 years to find what I want to do. I want to find something I enjoy, as long as it gets me by in life." The first step was learning to cope with blindness.

When he was released from the hospital, he returned to Iowa City where his family suggested he go to a special school. "I went," Shrader said, "to get them off my back." It got him back on his feet. For Vk years, interrupted by follow-up surgeries, he attended the Commission for the Blind in Des Moines. He learned Braille, how to use a cane, how to cook, type, do laundry and even operate power tools. He remembered his shop instructor telling him to saw a piece of wood.

"I said, Til cut off my He didn't. He made an end table. "Probably the main thing I learned was self-confidence," Shrader said. He takes buses, negotiates pedestrian traffic with ease and has made numerous adaptations that enable him to lead a nearly normal life. He has Braille labels that tell him what color his clothes are, and items like Braille measuring spoons to help with cooking.

He uses a special slate and stylus to take notes. "Some things I'll always need people for," he said. "I go to the grocery store and get what I think is a can of beans, and it could be a can of olives." At home, the groceries must be rei-dentified so he can affix Braille labels. "But there are not too many jobs I couldn't hold," Shrader insisted, joking: "Well, not a taxi driver or bus driver." The job he's most interested "in at the mdment is a masseur. Mark Eastland, a high school friend who's a chiropractor in northern California, is investigating schools for him.

Soon, Shrader hopes to move back to the west coast and train for a career in massage therapy, working with chiropractors or sports doctors. He recalls the massages given his shattered leg and would like showing off," Shrader said, but he doesn't really remember. In fact, he doesn't remember anything about the next Vk months until the day his older brother, Steve, came to the hospital. Shrader was sitting in a wheelchair, an arm and a leg in a cast, his jaws wired shut. He had lost his sense of smell and his hearing in one ear.

He was also blind. "I asked my brother what happened. I thought it was a dream." When he learned about the accident and realized the extent of his injuries, he said: "Bring me some pills. I don't want to live. My brother said, 'The hard part's Shrader recalled.

True, the physical toll had been huge. He had lost 100 pounds and narrowly missed having a leg amputated. But what lay ahead was years of physical therapy and rehabilitation, adjusting to a world he could no longer see. From that day on, Shrader's brother spent 10 to 12 hours with him every day. Friends visited constantly.

Shrader stopped thinking about ending his life. "If I hadn't had visitors up there all the time, somehow I would have figured out a way to do it." Shrader, now 29, graduated from City High School and enrolled in Wentworth Military Academy in Lexington, on a basketball scholarship. A few months later, disenchanted with the regimentation and envious of friends who were out in the world earning money, he dropped out and moved to California. At various times, he was a bouncer, hung drywall, spray-painted cars and mobile homes and installed television cables. He was married and divorced.

For the last years before the accident, he had no place to live. He stayed with one friend as long as he could, then moved in with another. Gov. Mario Cuomo got a suprise party for his tit, i 55th birthday in Albany, N.Y., and said this should be an especially good year for him, since five is his lucky number. "It always has been," Cuomo said Monday at a Capitol meeting room, where his cut a birthday cake inscribed "Mighty Mario at the plate.

CHiomo, a former minor league baseball player, remains a softball enthusiast. Presj-CitlienJohn Schultt Stan Shrader, who has been blind since 1984, attended the Commission for the' Blind in Des Moines. He learned Braille, how to use a cane, how to cook, type, do laundry and even operate power tools. Cuomo dom forms mental pictures anymore. He sees only in dreams.

Yet in a way, blindness has broadened his scope. "Before, a person would have to be good-looking before I'd even talk to them," he confessed. "Now I talk to anybody. I only see what's inside." to give others the same comfort. More career-minded but less materialistic, Shrader says he's changed in other ways as well.

He still enjoys fishing and horseback riding, but now prefers reading to trying to follow a movie or football game. Although he can hear the action, he sel Fighting children drive parents crazy Of the governor's lucky number, spokesman Gary Fryer said Cuomo "told me was married on the fifth, has five children, always bets the fifth horse and his favorite baseball player was Joe Di-Maggio, who wore number 5." Lange gives birth to third child Academy Award-winning actress Jessica Lange has given birth to her first son and third child. The baby was named Samuel Walker Shepard, Lange's publicist, Lisa Kasteler said. She said Monday that mother and baby were fine and that the boy weighed 8 pounds, 14 ounces. The child, born Sunday, is the second born to Lange, 38, and Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Sam Shepard, who are not married and live in rural Virginia.

The couple have a daughter, Hannah Jane, born in January 1986. The actress has another daughter, 5-year-old Alexandra, by ballet superstar Mikhail Baryshni-kov. Lange, who won a supporting actress Oscar for her role in Tootsie, co-starred with Shepard in Frances, Country and the recent Crimes of the Heart 'You don't have to give equally what you want to do is give uniquely. Children will try to trap you by asking how much you love Elaine Mazlish co-author of Siblings Without Rivalry NEIGHBORS Authors offer brawl-stopping words of wisdom By Barbara Hoover Gannett News Service Forget crime, divorce, drugs, the Bomb. The problem that really drives people up the wall on a daily basis is none of these.

Nope. It's keeping those darn kids from fighting. "That's what people said in articles in The New York Times and Better Homes and Gardens, Elaine Mazlish announces. And a Roper poll asked people what bothered them most and they said, fighting between children. But now parents don't have to wear earplugs and wait for the kids to grow out of it.

Mazlish and her co-author, Adele Faber, tell how to reduce sibling rivalry to a civilized level in their new book Siblings Without Rivalry (W. W. Norton, For instance, when fights get out of hand, they suggest interrupting with phrases such as: "People are not for hurting." "Say it with words." on sibling rivalry, the two women began research for the new book. "The stories people told us about all the grown-up pain!" Faber says. "One man said his brother never called except to say something like, I got a raise, I got a new car, I'm going to Bermuda.

What are you People in their 80s said they still suffer from sibling rivalry. They told us they still feel so diminished or so angry, they wouldn't even go to funerals of their siblings." Parents can unwittingly fuel the fire of rivalry by comparing their children, bending over backwards to treat them equally and casting them into roles. "Parents may know not to compare unfavorably," Faber adds, "but they don't know it's damaging to compare favorably. To say, 'You're so neat not like your messy This just increases the competition." "You don't have to give equally what you want to do is give uniquely," Mazlish explains. will try to trap you by asking how much you love them.

If you say you love them all equally they feel shortchanged. A better answer is, 'You are my only Robert, and what would I do without your eyes and your smile? new wife home one who is younger, cuter and gets most of the attention. Mazlish and Faber are veterans of the family battleground. She and Faber each have three children, now grown. As young mothers, they attended parenting workshops in New York led by Dr.

Haim Ginott, whose book, Between Parent and Child, is a classic of parent-child communication skills. Faber and Mazlish were so impressed by what they learned, they decided to write their own book based on their experiences with the Ginott methods. The result, Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, came out in 1975, the year Ginott died. Faber and Mazlish began leading their own workshops and wrote a fdllow-up book with advice about How to Talk So Kids Will Listen Listen So Kids Will Talk. When readers asked for more detail "Draw me a picture." "Write it down." "No name-calling.

Tell him how you feel or what you'd like." You're not trying to make the siblings like each other better, just treat each other better, the authors explain. Liking may come later, but cannot be forced, because sibling rivalry is inevitable. "Insisting that an older child say he or she loves the baby just teaches the child to lie," Faber explains. "It teaches that the child better not say what he really feels or even know what he feels." Parents often forget how they felt about the arrival of siblings, the authors say. They may think they are doing their child a favor by providing a companion in the form of a new brother or sister.

But to the child this is comparable to a husband bringing a Wendy Miller, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Miller of Riverside, has won one of five scholarships awarded by Eastern Iowa Power and Light Cooperative. She will receive the $500 award when she enrolls this fall at Goshen College in Goshen, Ind. A graduate of Iowa Mennonite School, Miller plans to major in math education or social work.

Joyce Fixsen," daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Delbert Weidler of Iowa City, has been named to the vice president's honor roll for the spring quarter at Texas State Technical Institute in Amarillo, Texas. A 1974 graduate of City High, she is a technical office training student. Mark Alvin Logan graduated June 4 from West High School.

THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON MOVIE CLOCK FAST TRACKS Million Dollar Mystery (PG): 2, 4:30, 7 and 9:30 p.m., Campus Theatres. Uhtar (PG-13): 6:30 and 9 p.m., Englert 2. Predator (R): 7:15 and 9:30 p.m.. Cinema I. Beverly Hills Cop II (R): 7 and 9:30 p.m..

Englert 1. Raising Arizona (PG-13): 1:30, 4. 7:20 and 9:40 p.m.. Campus Theatres. The Believers (R): 7 and 9:30 p.m.; Cinema II.

Harry and the Hendersons (PG): 1:45, 4:15, 7:10 and 9:35 p.m.. Campus Theatres. Witches of Eastwick (R): 7 and 9:30 p.m., Astro. i it ii TOPS IN SINGLES: The following were the week's best-selling singles. 1.

Always, Atlantic Starr 2. Head to Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam 3. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde i. In Too Deep, Genesis 5. Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me), Whitney Houston 6.

The Lady in Red, Chris De Burgh 7. Wanted Dead or Alive, Bon Jovi 8. Diamonds, Herb Alpert 9. With or Without You, U2 10. Looking for a New Love, Jody Watley MAIN EVENT: Design For Living, a 1933 film based on a Noel Coward Comedy, will be shown at 7 p.m.

today and 9 p.m. Wednesday by the University of Iowa Bijou Theatre. Directed by Ernst Lubitsch, the film stars Gary Cooper, Frederic and Miriam Hopkins. TODAY'S BIRTHDAYS: Jennie Gros-singer (1892); Stan Laurel (1890); Katharine Graham (1917); Erich Segal (1937); Joyce Carol Oates (1938). FROM THE MAGAZINE RACK: "Climbing a mountain is like being a POW.

You have to fight to keep order in your mind, since the mind, being rational, wants to quit." William Broyles 42-year-old mountain climber, in Esquire. TODAY'S HISTORY: On this day in 1963, Soviet astronaut Valentina Tereshkova was launched into orbit, becoming the first woman space traveler. NEW IN BOOKSTORES: The following new books will be available this week in Iowa City bookstores. Tightwater Tailsby John Barth Up The Country by Miles Franklin The Rat by Gunter Grass Unassigned Territory by Kem Nunn Buttermilk Bottoms by Kenn Robbins The Red Truck by Rudy Wilson Don't Tread On Me by F.J. Perelman A Voice To Sing With by Joan Baez INDEX Bombeck Comics Dear Abby.

Deaths 3C Engagements 7C Television 7C 3C Weather 2C 2C Weddings 6C '7hot does It, Sid. You yell tarantula' one more time and you're gonna be wearin' this thing.".