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"\ (Ehc 3n5iana (Gazette / Tuesday, June 11, 1985 — Page 13 By ABIGAIL VAN BUREN DEAR ABBY: Whenever you mention that poem, "I Had a Mother Who Read to Me." I have to laugh because my mother never read to me. I used to beg her to read to me. but she couldn't be bothered with that tedious business. Instead, she'd tell me bedtime stories that were more or less true. The one I liked the best was the one about how she and her cousin Alice tried to make whiskey. They filled a large crock" with water, wheat, oats, grains, raisins and raw potato peelings, and any other garbage they could find. After a couple of weeks, the mixture in the crock smelled so bad, my grandmother insisted they get rid of it, so Mom and Alice carried the crock down by the river and dumped it on tfie bank. Naturally Grandma's geese followed them and gobbled it all up. Pretty soon. Grandma looked out the window and saw all her geese lying about in the yard. She thought they were dead, so she got the girls to pluck all the down from the geese and told them that as soon as their grandfather got home from the lumber mill, he'd have to bury thbse dead geese. (The geese were not dead; they were drunk!) The next morning the geese were running around the yard stark naked, so Grandma crocheted little jackets for them to wear, and that was the last time my mother and her cousin Alice ever tried to make whiskev. -'.'. JOE EASTMAN. COLORADO SPRINGS DEAR JOE: Thanks for a dandy day brightener. DEAR ABBY: Very often you ask people to forgive and forget, so I thought the enclosed poem (found in a magazine) might appeal to you and your readers. It made me smile. and I hope it makes you smile, too. -RICKINTACOMA DEAR RICK: Smile? I laughed out loud. And here it is: FORGIVENESS The friend who ran off with your wife. Forgive him for his lust: The chum who sold you phony stocks, Forgive his breach of trust; The pal who schemed behind your back, Forgive his evil work; And when you're done - forgive yourself For being such a jerk. CONFIDENTIAL TO INTELLECTUAL IN WOODBURY, N.J.: The true intellectual learns because he wants to know — not because he wants others to know that he knows. \ Every teen-ager should know the truth about sex, drugs and how to be happy. For Abby's booklet, send your name and address clearly printed with a check or money order for §2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents) self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby. Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 38923, Hollywood, Calif. 90038.) Copyright 1983 Universal Press Syndicate Honor society inducts Jervis Loretta A. Jervis, Indiana, was recently initiated into the Phi Kappa Phi honors society at Michigan State University, East Lansing, Mich. Graduate students initiated into the society must have attained a 3.94 grade point average. Jervis, who earned her master's degree in music performance at Michigan State, was among the institution's June graduates.. CRYSTAL WOMEN — Recording artist Cyndi Lauper, left, hams it up with actress Jean Stapleton recently in Los Angeles. Lauper and Stapleton were presented with Crystal Awards from women in film for their contributions to the field of video by Lauper and Stapleton's work in the advancement of women's rights. (AP Laserphoto) Actor who plays bumpkin has dreams By JERRY BUCK AP Television Writer BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. (AP) — A funny thing happened on William Sanderson's way to a law career. He wound up as Larry, the chief spokesman for the trio of bumpkins on CBS' "Newhart." His TV success means he doesn't have to take the bar exam and practice law to earn a living. It also pays for the pickup truck he drives. Larry is the first comedy role for Sanderson, a Memphis-born law school graduate who has mostly played rednecks and killers in such movies as "City Heat," "Raggedy Man,'" "Blade Runner," "The Executioner's Song" and "Coal Miner's Daughter." In "The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez" he was a cowboy who befriended the fugitive. Larry and his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl are rustic eccentrics who frequent the Stratford Inn in Vermont, run by Bob Newhart and Mary Frann for the past three years. The backwoods brothers are willing to tackle any task around the inn, always with the same all- thumbs result. The two Darryls, who effectively project their characters without speaking, are played by Tony Papenfuss and John Voldstad. Both are experienced stage actors. "I thought we were just going to do one episode." said Sanderson. "I figured I'd audition for it and I did something I'd done in 'Coal Miner's Daughter.' I put a quarter in my ear. I drew on some Southern people I'd known and some Bowery bums I'd seen. Larry wears a watch cap and two shirts and a jacket. I like the jacket because it makes me feel like a tramp." Sanderson, despite a four-day growth of beard, wasn't looking very scruffy that day. He was wearing a dark blue suit with tiny red stripes, tie and cowboy boots. He realizes his Southern accent is wrong for Larry, but suggested the three brothers had migrated from Appalachia. He's generous with his praise for Papenfuss and Voldstad. "They have to express everything without talking," he said. "It's tough to do nothing. They're tremendous actors." Sanderson has just nnished working on a TV remake of "The Defiant Ones," starring Carl Weathers and Robert Urich. "I play one of the main rednecks," he said. He's also just completed a feature film called "Black Moon Rising," the third film he's done with Tommy Lee Jones. The others were "Coal Miner's Daughter" and the miniseries "The Executioner's Song." "It's a sympathetic role for a change," he said. "I play a deaf mechanic. I don't get to talk, so my Southern accent doesn't work against me." He also worked on a pilot called "Streets of Malice." playing one of the bad guys. He grew up in Memphis, where, after a few brushes with the law, he joined the Army to find some direction to his life. He served two years as a medic, then entered Southern Methodist University. He transferred to Memphis State University, where he got his bachelor's and law- degrees. It was while in law school that he discovered acting, appearing in a school play. After graduation he moved to New York, where he studied acting during the day and tended bar at night. "I got work in four low-budget films in a row." he said. "A CBS casting director called one of them a pathetic film, but I was able to take the footage and parlay that into other roles. The first thing I did was 'Coal Miner's Daughter.' I had a small role as Sissy Spacek's uncle." The brothers were on "Newhart" twice the first year. Do Larry and Darryl and Darryl have a last name? "There's nothing official," Sanderson said, "but one of us suggested the name of Potts." American pop culture has the world boogeying By CHARLES J. HANLEY Associated Press Writer It's glitzy. It's funky. And it's everywhere. American pop culture, like never before, has the rest of the world boo- geying and spinning on its head, slapping its thigh and sitting on the edge of its seat — and paying billions for the sheer enjoyment of it all. A quick global tour one recent Thursday evening — by way of a spot check by AP bureaus around the world — found Jordanians tuned in to "Walt Disney" and Australians to Ted Turner's Cable News Network. Chic Parisians stood in movie lines for "Terminator" and Kenyans queued up for "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom." Disco denizens in Chile rocked to Madonna and "breakers" did the Bronx street dance on sidewalks from New Delhi to La Paz. The thousands of movies, television shows, music videos, records and tapes churned out by the huge American entertainment industry • are becoming a universal language of low-brow culture, understood by millions around the globe and scorned by some. A Soviet commentator, for one, grumbled that the ever-growing reach of U.S. television has an ulterior aim: "All-out promotion of the so-called 'American way of life."' A European Common Market study last year-found that two out of every three TV entertainment programs, in Western Europe were U.S.-produced. In places such as Canada and Mexico, the impact is even greater. On that Thursday evening, the National Hockey League playoffs were the big TV draw in Canada. "Dallas" and "Dynasty" also are popular north of the border, where cable systems plug directly into U.S. networks. In Mexico's northern metropolis of Monterrey, thousands of "dish" antennas pulled in satellite- transmitted television from across the Rio Grande. In Sydney, Australians turned on "Hill Street Blues." "Cagney and Lacey" and "Murder She Wrote." In Kenya, they were hooked on "The Jeffersons" and other black American situation comedies. "Dallas" and "Dynasty" top the ratings in country after country, and have spawned similar shows in France, Sweden, South Africa and India, where the new soap opera "Khandaan" — meaning "Dynasty" — features a Bombay tycoon whose opulent home is overrun by diamond-studded characters entangled in business intrigues and love affairs. Hollywood films first flickered onto the world's theater screens in a big way after World War II. Today, foreign rentals annually produce almost SI billion for the "U.S. film industry, about as much as it earns at home. The Associated Press survey found that in Stockholm. Sweden — the land of celebrated filmmaker * Ingmar Bergman — 37 of 71 current :* movies were American-made. Clint ;* Eastwood was a favorite, making ~l their day in the midnight sun. In South Africa, Eddie Murphy I was packing them in to see "Beverly : Hills Cop" in Johannesburg, where _~ 31 of 40 movies were American. And ",~ in Santiago, Chile, they were hand-, ing over their pesos to be terrorized -1 by "Terminator" Arnold Schwar- C; zenegger, star of one" of 22 Ameri- ~? can-made movies dominating the local cinema scene. American rock songs dominate Top 10 lists. In Mexico City, Radio • Exitos plays all "gringo" rock, highlighting the U.S. record-sales rankings. A Philippines FM station broad- : : casts taped American Top 40 shows, and its local disc jockeys rap to lis- .; teners in American "DJ"" English. The U.S. influence is weaker in literature, serious music and other "higher" arts. However, "American . ideas" can be transmitted through a ' TV fantasy or a rock lyric just as easily as through a weighty novel. 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