Star Tribune from Minneapolis, Minnesota • Page 57

Post-concert culinary Dushes ducked out on protest snniverscry2E Controller of remote selector rules roost2E Plan care for plants, lawn before vacaticn3E performances 1 0E yi Advlce4-6E You can help1 1E 1 Sri Quiz reveals how much fun (Mm mwi you're having this summer- By Judith Newmark St. Louis Post-Dispatch illogicaily. According to social psychologist Gilbert Brim, the term "midlife crisis has been widely misapplied in the past few decades. "Almost everyone over 40 claims to have it or knows someone who has it. But I don't think that more than one person in 10 is experiencing a genuine midlife crisis," said Brim, who is leading a research team in an extensive study of life during middle age.

Brim said those in or about to enter their 40s would do well to forget everything they have ever heard or read about midlife crisis. He calls "midlife transition," which often is difficult. Levinson suggested that Brim has, in effect, announced the conclusions of a study that has not yet been made: "He's saying, 'We're going to tell you what we're going to find out, but we're going to take seven years to do It's unusual for an investigator to say in advance what the finds of his study will be." Brim has spent more than 30 years studying AGE Continued on page 8E said the truth is that nobody really knows for certain what causes the changes If, in fact, they do occur in our minds and bodies as we approach midlife. It may be that what everybody calls a midlife crisis Is nothing more than a need to sort out the psychological garbage that has accumulated over four decades of living, he maintained. Daniel Levinson, a Yale University psychiatry professor and author whom Brim identifies as a perpetrator of a midlife crisis myth, said that he, too, is uncomfortable with the term.

But Levinson said his studies do indicate that most people experience what he By Henry LeHermannWords by Wire he Germans call it Torchlusspanik, 1 the "fear of closing gates," or 11 death. The French call it apris du midi. after noon." In the United States, it's known as midlife crisis. For two decades, the term has been offered as the explanation for almost anything wacko that a 40-something person does. That includes taking a lover 20 year younger, being financially irresponsible after years of prudent budgeting, having bouts with alcohol or drug abuse, or simply behaving I ow's your summer vacation E4 going? No.

not the kids' theirs is no doubt a glorious kaleidoscope of water sports, arts and crafts and imprisoned lightning bugs, school Is still eons away, and the sweet summer days stretch out endlessly. But how about voura? PerhaDS vou did not think you had one. ODviousiy you nave not rjeen reao- ing your rasnion magazines. For the last few issues, Vogue, Mir-abella, Harper's Bazaar, Glamour the whole crowd have been assuring us that we are on vaca-. tion, and that we had just better maKe tne most or it.

So, how do you stack up? Take this simple Midsummer Vacation Quiz and find out If you are doing your part to get your quota of summer fun up to where the magazine editors say it's supposed to be. 1. On those long, lazy summer weekends, I like to: a) Create a private getaway for two right at home, with cool drinks, cool jazz and very cool lingerie. b) Organize big family get- togethers. c) Seize my chance to sort out the sock drawer.

2. Pcolslde, I generally: a) Wear white to show off my healthy, glowing skin. b) Pile on tons of jewelry cunningly shaped like seashells, starfish and snails. c) Try to find something that won't FUN Continued on page 7E 1 She has found many missing but her dad remains 'lost' By George MonaghanStaff Writer Carol Solstad was 3 when her fa-, ther, a decorated war hero and an Army intelligence officer doing highly secret work, left his house in the "spook valley" area of Arlingr ton, one day in October 1 947 and never returned. She spent years trying to find him and about the only-concrete discovery she made was that he was living under a new name.

The shroud of secrecy never lifted. But Solstad, 46, got so good at digging up sources, sensing good leads and wriggling through bu-. reaucratic loopholes that a couple of years ago she decided to try to make a living by finding missing family members. She was watching the Oprah Win--frey show from her home in Law-ton, and the subject was re unions of families with long-lost members. That gave her an The next day she ran an ad in USA Today.

"Want to find a missing relative?" it read. Within days, she. had 50 responses. She was in business. So far she has handled 170 She got bad information in one.

All. others she solved. The key to her success in finding people, she said during a recent -stop in the Twin Cities, is intuition knowing the right question to ask and when to ask it; getting a Black singles service enlists professionals other single blacks. She discussed her ideas with real es tate agent Livingston St. James, who is also single, and from their shared expe riences tne pair came up witn plans tor a comprehensive singles service geared By Suianne P.

KellyStaff Writer rsa or many single black professlon-I pk als in the Twin Cities, socializing consists of Friday nights at-the "View" (that's the Riverview Supper Club), happy hour at Rupert's, church activities or small parties with friends. For many, it has become a boring cycle that produces some fun, but few meaningful relationships. Traditional singles clubs have proved to be no real alternative. "What I found when I attended white singles groups was that I was always the only black person there," said Dani-tra Easton, who lives in Golden Valley and works at Fort Snelling. "I had a good time, but not enough that I would invite my friends to participate.

I got the sense that they were just being nice because I was there. An outgoing woman, Easton wanted to join a singles organization that offered an alternative to the bar scene with social events, dating services and workshops. She also wanted to mingle with ha tm in. IK mm mm specifically to blacks. Natural Mix, Inc.

was designed for "black professionals who are progressive and open to expanding their net iiiuwi ww iivi iwinim uw9gii --v i work of friends and prospective dating MIX Continued on page 7E invesitgauve reporrer in oeanie ana Little Rock and Hot Springs, Ark. To find a missing person, she -charges $200 and expenses, $100' to begin the search and $100 when-the missing person is found. Most of the time it takes from three to five months, depending on the kind MISSING Continued on page 8E Staff Photo by Regene Radniecki -11 From left, Danltra Easton and Livingston St James, originators of Natural Mix. 6.