Star Tribune from Minneapolis, Minnesota • Page 78

8E Nov. 7, 1976 Minneapolis Tribune HTASRA DIVORCE: The congregation may choose sides and split, too. Theoutrafieously feminine London Scene weather coal 50 polyester, 50 cotton, made in EnRland for Count Romi. Little-girl smocking and bows and gathers in all the right places. Vanilla cream.

The ALC, for example, is quite open about this point: A set of guidelines to help bishops determine whether a divorcing minister should remain on the clergy roster specifies that a pastor must remain faithful to his spouse until the marriage is legally dissolved, and he must behave responsibly toward his family. "We don't try to make a judgment about the quality of a person," explained the Rev. Roger Fjeld, director of the ALC's office of support to ministries. "But there's something about the pastoral job that requires a certain standard of conduct." Mr. Morphew said that there's also something about the pastoral job that makes a shaky marriage go from bad to worse.

The job requires long hours away from the family, and close relationships with many other people, male and female. "And clergymen sometimes get into trouble because it's so difficult for them to get a divorce. They wait until they are so lonely that they resort to dramatic escapes, like violence, alcohol or an affair," Mr. Morphew said. "What's so sad then is that they are lost to the church all those talented pastors who could be doing the church's work," he said.

is that It's time we recognize that the pastor is human, too. But some of the ministers who were forced out tell a different story. "I have enough objectivity after three years to be aware of a hell of a lot of double standardism and a hell of a lot of judgmentalism among laymen in the church," said Mr. Macaulay, who now lives In Moose Lake, Minn. "There weren't many lay people who stood by me, though some beautiful people hung In there.

And they paid the price It wasn't the thing to do," Mr. Macaulay said. He had a heart attack the day after he left his congregation, and between his heart problem and his divorce, he was unable to get a call from another congregation. He went to Moose Lake to start his own business and start a drinking problem. "At the chemical dependency treatment center (he attended last month) I met a lot of ex-clergymen many of them divorced.

You're lonely, you're cut of work, you're filled with resentment, and you use that excuse to put your nose in the glass too often," he said. Mr. Macaulay did not have a drinking problem before the divorce, though spokesmen for several Protestant denominations said that many divorcing minister do. And if alcoholism or another woman is part of the divorce equation, a minister's chances of keeping his call even in churches that are relatively tolerant of divorce dim Continued from page IE denomination expected of me," one said. "There's guilt and shame and the sense that the whole congregation is watching and talking about you." And, Mr.

Zimmerman said, there's the fear that you aresetting a bad example for your flock. "I really don't feel guilty, though I certainly don't feel good about my decision to divorce. But I don't want what I've done to say to anyone else that divorce is an acceptable solution to marital problems. It's not acceptable In the Christian community," he said. Mr.

Stroebel, 53, said that he also feared that his divorce would be "a terribly devastating thing" for his congregation. He offered his resignation four times, and each time the leaders of his con-' gregation voted not to accept it. Yet several months later, a number of families left the Anoka church after a congregational vote reaffirmed Mr. Stroebel's call by a narrow margin. "What happens if you stay is that the congregation chocses sides," Mr.

Stroebel said. "It would be unusual for friends of the minister and friends of his wife not to take sides, but in a church this gets to be destructive." Whom it's destructive to depends on how the congregation splits, Mr. Stroebel said. The spouse that's popularly perceived to be the villain is likely to get the cold shoulder or an invitation to leave. And when the congregation is divided over who was right and who was wrong, the congregation itself is in jeopardy, he said.

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Friday and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday. An Episcopal priest who divorced last year, 'the Rev. Henry Hoover of St.

Christopher's Episcopal Church in Roseville, praised his congregation for showing him a lot of love and concern when his wife filed for divorce. But his ex-wife, Carol, had nothing good to say about the way the congregation treated her. "I felt that nobody took my side," she said. "I've lost all my friends there except one or two females. All 'our' friends turned out to be 'Henry's' friends.

I was very deeply hurt by this." Mrs. Hoover said that she thinks there would be more divorces among clergy if divorce did not pose such a threat to a clergyman's career. "Henry's career was a real stumbling block for me. For many years I thought divorce was not possible because it would damage his career beyond repair. Had he been a plumber or a policeman, I would have divorced him sooner and people at my church wouldn't have taken sides," she said.

For Mr. Hoover, the question of leaving his congregation did not come up. The Episcopal Church does not drop divorcing ministers from the clergy roster, and few Singer has been making sewing machines for 126 years. Which means when we have a sale, you get more than a great price. You get a great machine.

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"Going before the church council was terrible one of the MACHINE VV'. MODEL 247. most difficult things Ive ever A' now done. Before that meeting was over, I was crying, as so were lots of others." The Rev. Dr.

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