Philadelphia Daily News from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • Page 43

Monday. "MTlL. MOVIES A Couple of 'S' lVdrds Earn A for This Kiddie Flick A Care-Less Adaptation of I I glistening body at us, brandishes his Wonderland The Care Bears' Adventure In An animated feature directed by Raymond Jafelice. With songs by written and performed by John Sebastian. A Cineplex Odeon 1 Films Release.

At area theaters. By RICHARD FREEDMAN Newhouse Newa i JT hose roly-poly rascals the 1 1 Care Bears, with their cute little candy hearts where their snouts should be, are at it again, in their third animated toy-promo-. tion feature, "The Care Bears' Adven-. ture in Wonderland." Only this time there are mercifully fewer pastel- hued bears and more characters lift ed from "Alice in Wonderland." "We haven't attempted to make it ('Alice' better," the Care Bears caretakers modestly assure the; press. "We've sort of gone on where Lewis Carroll left off." As Alice the real Alice might "Curiouser and curioserl" For the gulf separating the Victor! an High Culture that produced the "Alice" books and whatever we have in its place today Is such that It's hard to figure out what indeed the Care Bears are up to this time.

Surely no kids read "Alice" any more. So what can Tweedledee and Tweed le-, dum be but fat, quarrelsome boys? With no background in the chivalric verse 1 "Masters of the Universe," a fantasy: adventure starring Dolph Lundgren1 and Frank Langella. Produced by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. Running time: 105 minutes. A Cannon Group release.

At area theaters. 1 By ROSE DeWOLF Daily News Staff Writer fT irst, the plot: The evil Skeletor I has gotten hold of a "cosmic li key" a musical device that can "open a door to anywhere" to a structure, say, or to another, universe. Skeletor that villain! has used it to capture Castle GrayskuII and imprison its Sorceress. However, all is not lost. There exists a second "cosmic key," and our hero He-Man has it.

Well, he sort of has it. It keeps getting lost or stolen and He-Man has to keep getting it back. At one point, it is found by two teen-agers in a small town in the United States who then find themselves attacked by Skeletons horrible henchman and rescued by of course He-Man. (This is the kind of small town beloved by cheap movie producers who don't want to spend money on crowd scenes. All kinds of mayhem breaks loose but, in this town, nobody even looks out a window.) So much for plot.

Now, to answer the questions that, no doubt, all you fans of the Masters of the Universe cartoon series on TV have about this, the very first Masters of the Universe movie. How is Dolph Lundgren as He-Man? Muscular, He flexes bis oiled and Madonna Film Is One Big Question Mark "Who's That an action comedy starring Madonna, Griffin Dunne, Haviland Morris, John McMartin and Sir John Mills. Directed by James Foley. Screenplay by Andrew Smith and Ken Finkleman. Running Time: 90 minutes.

A Warner Brothers release. At area theaters. By BEN YAGODA Daily News Movie Critic JH he credits to "Who's That Girl" II roll behind a piece of animation that's clever, sharp, styhsh and a pleasure to sit through everything, in other words, that the movie which. follows is not. This cartoon tells the background story of the film: how a guy had come Into the possession of some information highly damaging to a certain wealthy executive, who thereupon, had the fellow murdered, and framed the dead man's blond girl-.

friend for the crime. As the film proper opens, the blonde, whose name is Nikki Finn and is played by Madonna, is being paroled from prison after serving four years of her sentence. The chief of the parole -board relays the good news, then says, "Do you -have any questions?" "Yeah," Nikki repliesongot ny mascara?" i sword a lot and makes occasional brave attempts at dialogue. will nev-er kneel to yew, i Is Skeletor very scary? No more than your average rubber Halloween mask which seems to be what Frank Langella is wearing to play the role. However, Langella does do a very nice job of ranting and raving.

"I will have the Is She-ran in the movie? No. Niether is Orka, Cringer-Battle Cat or Prince Adam (He-Man never transforms himself from Prince Adam. He is always He-Man). There is a Teela, but somehow it's hard to believe this Teela comes from Eter-nia maybe The Bronx? However, Evil-Lyn is on hand, played with per-: feet haughty ruthlessness by Meg-" Foster. And Beast-Man is around being, welL beastly.

Parents may also be wondering why a movie most likely to appeal to children around the ages of 5 or 6 since they are the ones who watch the TV show, who sleep between Masters of the Universe patterned sheets, who play with Masters of the Universe "action figures" would be rated PG rather than G. Possibly it is because the movie con- tains lots of cartoon-style violence. Like: A huge crowd of Darth Vader lookalikes trying to kill He-Man but they all miss. (He either ducks or deflects their deadly beams with his sword.) How-; ever, when He-Man aims his red neon light at them they're history. Griffin Dunne and Madonna in the This is an- auspicious beginning, promising that a lively, irrelevant film is to follow.

That this promise is not kept has to be blamed in large part on Madonna, whose own promising acting career, begun in "Desper-. ately Seeking Susan," now appears to be floundering. The way Madonna is presented in this movie indicates that both she and the filmmakers "I believe that everything about her her singsongy childlike voice, Jher eccentric wardrobe, her fire-engine red lipstick, her staccato high- pitched giggle, even the way she skips from place to fs ipso. facto charming. It, is.

not, the sodhef slie' arid the people who" put13 -i being parodied, Jabberwocky" becomes incomprehensible in ways Carroll can hardly have intended. The story here involves the White Rabbit's mission to Care-a-Lot (ugh!) to enlist the Care Bears' help in plao ing a perfectly ordinary girl named Alice on the throne of Wonderland in place of the kidnapped Princess, cur rently held captive in a cave by the Jabber wock (inaccurately referred to throughout as the Fulfilling their mission, the Care Bears meet such "Alice" figures vulgarized beyond all recognition as the CheshireCat who talks in rap). A 1 in "Masters of the Universe" audience filled with pint-sizers, they were bored with its "mush" and restless at its length, but they liked the action parts. Let's face it, with this bunch. He-man can do no Parental guide: Rated PG.

ton), in a reprise of his role in "After Hours," plays Loudon Trott, a nerdy i lawyer assigned to make sure that Nikki gets on a bus to Philadelphia before she can make any trouble for his boss, the sleazy exec. He fails in this task but succeeds in learning from the free-spirited Nikki that life is more than Rolls-Royces and three-: piece suits and by the end of the movie he calls off his wedding to you got it a phony high-society girl (Haviland Morris), and runs away with the charming Miss Finn. If that weren't bad enough, "Who's That is sullied by a sloppiness that is more than just sloppiness: It betrays profound lack of respect on the part of the filmmakers for their audience and their story. Start with -the title: Where's the question mark? In a key scene, Loudon's boss tells him to pick Nikki up at prison and deliver her to the bus station but doesnt tell him when she's getting out or when the bus leaves. A Rasta-farian cab driver speaks with an Irish brogue.

At one point, Loudon takes a pratfall, dirtying his white the next shot, his vest is clean. And the cops who are on Nik-ki's trail, and who see her hook up with Loudon, dont even trace his license plate. 'h-'t Probably the worst mistake of all comes in the last scene; when Nikki and Loudon are finally on that hiiQ Fnlpv 01VAS iiq ji ehnt nf isia i- sign on the highway that has an arrow and the word Everybody knows that there are no signs to Parental guide Rated mild tough stuff and infiueiida Jk-ta Frank Langella portrays Skeletor Or; possibly it is because there are two naughty words uttered. A word beginning with "Sh" is uttered twice. Tsk.

The scriptwriter should be turned over to Skeletor for punishment Finally, what do little children think of the Judging from just one action comedy "Who's That Girt" her in movies realize that she's got to start acting, instead of behaving and mugging, the better. Of course, the badness of "Who's That Girl" is not all Madonna's fault. Director James Foley (in a sad fall from the grace of "At Close and' screenwriters Andrew Smith and Ken Finkleman have come up with a story of striking unoriginality (it borrows clumsily from "Bringing Up Baby," "Something and "What's Up, and even more striking predictability. The plot really isni worth going into. Suffice it.

to say Griffin Donne (looking 'disconcertingly more'atid- more like4Austitf Pendle-'1 Caterpillar whose many limbs make I Lis travel directions virtually useless, an unauthentically kindly Queen of 1 Hearts, the Mad Hatter and Although there is no artistic purpose whatever in pillaging the "Alice" books for these characters, their presence does give "The Care Bears' Adventure in Wonderland" more genuine plot, and a less soupily sentimental cast than their early ventures enjoyed. But the animation is as cheap-looking, the John Sebastian, songs as maudlin, the general overriding atti-, tude as crass, as ever, fv.s-u. The amazing thing about this bargain-basement assault on pre-school sensibilities and their parents' pock-: etbooks is that it should hit the theaters at a time when "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" is in general re- release. Even at age the Disney masterpiece-wipes this exploitative rubbish right off the screen. AViv yv Parentat gnklef'Are yfttt' kidding?.