Philadelphia Daily News from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • Page 25

PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS SINGLE OR DOUBLE More Wit, Wisdom from Famed Philosophers APRIL 4-7 OSCAR BROWN, JR. a mi JEAN PACE APRIL II -14 -ROBERT KLEIN Melissa Manchester 733 44 44 1409 LssmlMnJ St Sat. Wed. 2 P.iM. A LITTLE WIT, a little wisdom.

Put them together and they add up to another quotable session with celebrities. Paul Whiteman on music: "Jazz is the folk music of the machine age. Jazz tickles your muscles. Symphonies stretch your soul." Germaine Greer on marriage: "Women fall in love with a fantasy. But they marry a man." Walt Disney on failure: "Remember, even if you fall on your face, at least you'll fall forward." PENNSAUKEN.

MOTEL On lit. 73 at Rt. 130 Pennsauken, NJ. Only 1 Minulet Ticenf Piimvta Bridge. Minute I from Sen Fimklin Bridie.

COLOR TV ALL ROOMS COCKTAIL LOUNGE OPEN 7 DAYS Mats. if For 'HZ ml Groun Rates anr. Theatre Party Information 1114 WALNUT PHIIA. 19107 FORREST TONIGHT AT 8 P.M. Newmar Bigot Picket: South Philly comedy writer Gene Perrett, now HQ'd in L.

telephoned longtime pal Dick McGonagle of Drexel Hill and told Dick he has been manning the picket line during the writer's strike out there. Gene's partner on the line was Carroll O'Connor, TV's Archie Bunker. Gene, who is cutting the final to a new religious comedy" book titled "Bless Me Father, For I Have Grinned," has been able to survive financially in spite of the strike because he is still penning monologues for Bob Hope. People and Places: Look for Linda Lovelace to visit our going on a promo tour to drumbeat her new "Deep Throat" LP Wee Willie Webber of WIP and Channel 17 will host the local portion of the Easter Seals telethon starting Saturday at 11 P. M.

Producer of the video show, to be telecast by Channel 17 from a studio in' Veterans Stadium, is veteran, fund-raiser Margaret Winks Sodden thought: The guy who first called it "show business" must have known something. Nowadays a performer has to show everything Look for an announcement of the sale of radio station WPEN And look for the saying "Fetch the butter," spoken by Marlon Brando in "Last Tango in Paris," to emerge as one of the year's hottest new catch slogans Since giving up smoking, Ronald Reagan admits to being a jelly bean addict. The BIG question: If Ronald runs for President in 1976, how will that affect his image? Old Soldiers: Old bakers never die, they just run out of dough Old strippers never die, they just take off Old dentists never die, they just pull out Old burglars never die, they just steal away Old goalies never die, they just go on ice-. Old cameramen never die, they just dissolve Old magicians never die, they just disappear Old typists never die, they just peck away Old policemen never die, they just cop out Old columnists never die, they just go write on. Dim View: Ever wonder why the lights are always so low in a cocktail lounge? I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but scientists took a bunch of thirsty rats and put them in a cage with some booze.

The rats didn't do much drinking when the lights were bright. But when the lights were turned low chug-a-lug. get caught in an elevator with one. They're more demanding." Bishop Fulton J. Sheen on sex: "Sex has become one of the most discussed subjects of modern times.

Victorians pretended it did not exist. Moderns pretend nothing else exists." Groucho Marx on friendship: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. That's because inside a dog it's too dark to read." Yoko Ono Lennon on equality: "I don't think women's problems will be solved completely by equal pay for equal work or by dropping men and becoming a lesbian, unless you really want to be one. Pain and sorrow follow you around whether you're homo, hetero or Joseph Alsop on truth: "A man who has bought; a theory will fight a vigorous rear guard action against the facts." Jack Herbert: "The quickest way to lose your shirt is to put too much on the cuff." Johnny Carson on old age: "You know you're getting old when it takes all night to do what you used to do all night." John Philip Sousa on jazz: "Jazz will endure as long as people hear it through their feet instead of their brains." Qiristian Dior on women: "Women are most fascinating between ages 35 and 40, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass 40, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely." Earl Wilson on salesmanship: "To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain.

Tell a man it's deductible." 25 Charles Pefzold JACQUES TATI amazingly unharried real. The gingersnappy shenanigans most of which are visual never let up, however, and the viewer is guaranteed to be kept smiling for the duration. The endlessness of auto-oriented gadgets and the nose-picking tendencies of stalled drivers are just two of the amusing quirks captured by a knowing Tati. 1 These and other quirks are heightened and contrasted by the cool, sunny and civilized ambience of a Parisian summer and background. THURSDAY, APRIL 5, 1973 Hulot Glenn Ford on romance: "Sir Winston Churchill taught me this.

He said, 'Remember, boy, a cigar is like a woman. Warm her before you assault Bernard Baruch on judgment: "If you get all your facts, your judgment can be right. If you don't get all the facts, it can't be right." Julie Newmar on men: "I'd rather have an American man. They're generous, but they don't realize it. Italian men move too fast.

I'd hate to Traffic' turning with a traffic-stopping bang. "TRAFFIC," now at the Trans-Lux and Bryn Mawr theatres, is a delightful, knockabout remembrance of things past like the simple, gentle and wise humor inherent in Chaplinesque pantomime. Monsieur Hulot, France's answer to Chaplin, first came our way in the imported "Mr. Hulot's Holiday" and "My Uncle." Like Chaplin, Hulot takes delight in underlining and mocking the ridiculous idiosyncrasies, inconveniences 3 MAYIMARD CCPftllCltM Workshop Clinic $1 APRIL 7, 5:00 PM 112 HOURS OF MAYNARD FOR $1.00 Vi hour of the big band hour Maynard lectures on the band's performance and the concept of jazz Vi hour of questions from the audience Tickets on sale now at the Walnut box oflice STREET vTHEATRB 9th Walnut Sts. 629-0700 with Monsieur in Call (215) 928-1317 WA3-1S1S LIMITED ENCACEMSNT Shows St, 7:15 Free Gal of Gas to Each Car 2 GIANT ALL ACADEMY AWARD SHOWS CABARET LADY SINGS THE BLUES i NAAMANS5; I on Noamans Rd.

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In Car Heaters! R) 5 FINGERS OF DEATH HOUSE THAT LET'S SCSRf I DRIPPED BLOOD JESSICA TO DEATH CTI.HI.Tr nDIUF.IN '3. n.j. Exit Walt Whitman 8ridg GR Tri0le Rock-Fes THE CONCERT FOR BANGLADESH Pius Rolling Stone GIMME SKELTER 200 MOTELS (R Bo Office Ooens 6: 30 PM Elec. In-Car Heaters Optiona' super 130 Dr-hRiJ30Nsr WTI.ng-877-7144 Opens' 6:30 Elec. In-Ca' Heaters 3 R-RATED Adult Hits 1.

ALL THE LOVING COUPLES 2. ONE SWEDISH SUMMER SWEDISH AND UNDER AGE TACONY PALMYRA BRIDGE DRIVE-IN At 1he Bridge, Route 73, Palmyra, N. J. TA Everything that makes life worth LEAVING! TERRY THOMAS in VAULT OF HORROR nlui 2nd Feature TALES FROM THE CRYPT Box Office Opens 6:30 PM Electric In-Car Heaters Optional qflQ nplUf N. End of 109 Expwy.

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B.O. Op. 6:45 ELECTRIC IN-CAR HEATERS Learn The Sucre's Of The 5 Fingers Cf Death (R) 0 I- D. Carradine of TV's Kung ZlN BOXCAR BERTHA (R) 3 BLOODY MAMA (R) LINE DRIVE-IN Shows Start 5 Elec. In-Car Heotersl R) .2 Giant AH Academy AwarcJ Shows! LIZA MINNELLI JOEL GREY lADrYnS, CABARET THE BLUES Cauoht By JOE BALTAKE The traffic is jamming.

The horns are sounding. The drivers are rioting. And now it's starting to rain. Not just a drizzle, either. It's one of those vision-blurring, puddle-forming downpours.

And somehow, poor, easygoing Monsieur Hulot is responsible for this jet-age catastrophe. It's taken a long time for everybody's favorite French "uncle" to return to the screen, but he's cheerfully' made up for the delay by re- KRESKIN SATURDAY KITE 55 ADMISSION MNINGTOn D0WNINGT0WN, PA. (215) 269-2000 Up and frustrations which modern-day man casually accepts as being "normal." Hulot is the brainchild of Jacques Tati, a filmmaker who moonlights by also portraying the character. It's an enviable creation in that it's consistently casual and relaxed and amazingly unhar-ried in the face of machine-age vulgarities, tragedies and shortcomings. IN THIS GRATED go-round, Hulot is assigned the relatively simple task of transporting a spanking-new compact station wagon from its plant in Paris to an auto show in Amsterdam.

As executed by humanity-wise Tati, the plot is somehow both paper-thin and detailed. Hulot and entourage a driver, 'mechanic and sporty PR girl bravely take to the road, facing traffic jams, flat tires, breakdowns, downpours and police intervention along the way. Everything but everything, Jiappens to this unsinkable little troupe. By comparison. Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis had it easy in "The Out-of-Towners." THERE ARE NO belly laughs in "Traffic," probably because it's all too painfully.