The Tribune du lieu suivant : Seymour, Indiana • Page 6

THE TRIBUNE, SEYMOUR, INDIANA 6A MONDAY HORIZONS WEDDINGS ENGAGEMENTS JANUARY 20, 2003 WEDDING ENGAGEMENTS HARLAN COHEN HELP ME, HARLAN! Abusers lurk on the Web Dear Harlan: The other day, I checked an old e-mail account that I had used to enroll as a member in the online dating service Match.com. Although I no longer subscribe, they still send me potential matches. A guy I met, who later abused me, was back in my inbox as a potential love match. My stomach sank when I saw his profile posted online again. The thought of him doing this to another woman makes me sick.

I feel like I should tell the folks at Match.com that they have an abuser on their hands, but legally, I don't know if I can do that. Obviously, I don't want to give this guy a reason to bother me again. I would feel horrible knowing that I'm giving this guy a venue to prey on other women. Any thoughts? Protecting the Public Dear Protecting: Abusers are all over the place not just online. It's awesome that you got away from him and took action.

For those still in abusive relationships: Please GET AWAY. There is NEVER an excuse for the abuse. NEVER. As for what to do next, I spoke to Trish McDermott, vice president of corporate communication for Match. com.

She suggested that you report the incident and send an e-mail to Each case is investigated on an individual basis, and action can be taken if warranted. She said that information such as yours would be kept confidential. Dear Harlan: I am a 23- year old single male living in Chicago. I had a girlfriend back in college who was the love of my life. Long story short, I was dumped while she "sorted" things out for her final year of college (i.e., she drank, partied).

Now, I'm a much more successful and mature person than when we dated. She has recently moved to my city. She crosses my mind every day. I know I still love her. She told me that she just wants to be friends for now.

Do I continue being her pal, or do I cut things off and make her think I am out having the time of my life with other girls? Blinded by Lost Love Dear Blinded: Pals don't fantasize about pals. Therefore, she's no pal, just an ex dressed up like a pal. Your pal is holding you back, whether you realize it or not. I'd approach her again. Tell her that winter is the perfect time to seek warmth, and offer her a hug.

Then tell her that you're still interested. If she's still not interested, cool things off. If you can't be a pal without fantasizing about being her husband, then you're better off keeping her at a distance. Write at harlan helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan. com.

(All letters submitted become property of the author.) Send paper to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark Ste. 223, Chicago, IL 60614. MONDO: WEDDINGS Thompson-Mannix Melinda Dawn Mannix and James Floyd Thompson were married at 5.p.m. Oct.

19 at First United Methodist Church, Seymour. The Rev. Neal Partain officiated. The bride is the daughter of Tim and Pam Mannix, 9280 S. 950W, Crothersville.

The groom is the son of Floyd and Harriet Thompson, 12240 E. 600S, Crothersville. The bride wore a white gown of matte satin. The strapless neckline was embellished with pearl beading, and the A-line waist fell to a floor-length hem that exposed a tulle petticoat. She also wore a fingertip-length veil of white tulle, accented with crystals and pearls, and carried a bouquet of fuchsia roses handtied with white satin ribbon.

Maid of honor was Amanda Mannix, bride's sister. Bridesmaids were Tara Elmore, bride's cousin; Megan Judd; Laura Hazelwood; and Treasa Garland. The attendants wore strapless, A-line gowns of platinum satin and carried bouquets of fuchsia roses hand-tied with sil- Mr. and Mrs. ver organza ribbon.

James Best man was Bret Daugherty. Floyd Thompson Groomsmen were Tony Thompson, vided by the musicians The Lost Dogs. groom's brother; David McIntosh, After a trip to New Orleans, the couple bride's cousin; Darrin Means; and Tom is living at 506 N. Chestnut Seymour. Dake.

Ushers, were Andy Kuniholm, The bride was home-schooled and bride's uncle and John Elmore, bride's graduated in 1995. She attended both cousin. Asbury College and Gallaudet University Jessica Kuniholm was flower girl, and and is pursuing a. behavioral sciences Brantley Heath ring bearer. degree from Vincennes University.

She Terry Taylor was vocalist and gui- is a training consultant with South Centarist. Acolytes were Jordan Mannix, tral Work Force Development Services bride's brother, and Erica Kuniholm, in North Vernon. bride's cousin, who also served as guest The groom is a 1991 graduate of registrar. Crothersville High School. He is a letter A reception was held at Jeeves and carrier with the United States Postal SerCompany at Scottsburg.

Music was pro- vice in Crothersville. Carol and Richard Hutchens, 10011 E. 700S, Crothersville, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary Jan. 15 with family and friends at the Crossroads Family Restaurant in Versailles. Their children were hosts.

Mr. and Mrs. Hutchens were married Jan. 16, 1953, at Bethany Baptist Church the Rev. Alton Cutshall.

They have two children, Terry Hutchens and Venetia (Skip) Green, and two grandchildren, Brittany Rene Green and Kyle Patrick Green. Mr. Hutchens retired from the old American Can Co. in Austin after 38 years, and Mrs. Hutchens retired after 43 years of secretarial and accounting duties.

Both are members of First Baptist Church of Seymour. Mr. and Mrs. Richard Hutchens Does birth order stack deck for life? By ALINE MENDELSOHN Knight Ridder News Service Hutchens ORLANDO, Fla. Hillary Clinton and Rush Limbaugh, Cher and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Oh, yeah, and half of all U.S. presidents. Like them or hate them, they all have one thing in common: All were firstborn children. And according to Orlando author Tom Connellan, that's a big deal. Connellan, a business consultant, insists that firstborn children and only children are given an edge in society.

If managers, teachers and parents treat everyone as firstborns, more people will succeed, he says. In his forthcoming book Bringing Out the Best in Others! ($19.95, Bard Press), Connellan outlines the three ways firstborns are treated differently from other kids: Parents often set higher expectations, demand greater accountability and provide more feedback. Those factors are the keys, he says, to helping others succeed. Firstborns are often expected to behave more maturely. Sometimes they even become surrogate parents.

For example, when firstborn children take their younger siblings to a movie, they are most likely to be responsible for the money and the cell phone. Children tend to live up to their parents' expectations, Connellan says. Because firstborn children are the oldest, parents hold them more accountable for their actions, often admonishing them by saying, "You should know better than that." Accountability "can mean a brutal assessment of someone," Connellan says. But "failure is a profound way of learning," he adds. "Sometimes kids need to learn how to fail." Finally, new parents tend to "practice" on their firstborns, thus providing them with more constructive and consistent feedback.

Some evidence from research supports Connellan's premise. Studies over the years have shown that firstborns are natural leaders. "As parents, our firstborns are our guinea pigs," says Kevin Leman, a Tucson, psychologist and author of The New Birth Order Book. "By the time you reach the fifth child, you grab some food, throw it on the floor or and yell, 'Dinner. But Leman cautions parents, teachers and managers against treating everyone the same.

"The key to bringing out the best in people is to make sure you have a team, and a team represents different people," he says. Leman recommends trying to see through the eyes of the individual. While some people are "carrot seekers" needing sustained feedback, he says, others resent superiors constantly leaning over their shoulders. Children should be dealt with according to their sonalities, concurs Cliff Isaacson, a Des Moines, Iowa, counselor and author of the book Birth Order Plus. Issacson has reservations about a society full of firstborns.

"A greater proportion of firstborn and only children will make us a society of flaw-pickers, yuppies and achievers," Isaacson says. But not everyone buys into birth order theory. In the early '80s, Swiss researchers Cecile Ernst and Jules Angst compared birth order theory with astrology, refuting it as a "sheer waste of time and money." Connellan, though, is undeterred. On a broad scale, Connellan hopes his book will "shift the way things are in this country," he says. "You do that one person at a time." ENGAGEMENTS TUESDAY: KID SCOOP WEDNESDAY: ON THE MENU THURSDA: Ruster-Moore Lisa J.

Ruster and J. Brooks Moore plan to marry at 4 p.m. July 5 at the French Lick Springs Resort Spa. She is the daughter of James: and Pamela Ruster, 2585 Willow Street, Greenwood. He is the son of John and Launo Moore, 2311 Drummond Vicksburg, Miss.

The bride-elect is a 1995 graduate of Center Grove High School in Greenwood and graduated from the University of Evansville in 1999 with a bachelor of science degree in psychology. She will receive a master's degree in educational organization and leadership in May from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where she is employed in the Office of the Dean of Stuand Sorority Affairs. The future groom is a 1994 graduate of St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic High School in Ham- Lisa J. Ruster J.

Brooks Moore mond, and received a bachelor of arts degree in psychology in. 1998 from the University of Southern Mississippi at Hat- tiesburg, Miss. He received a master's degree in higher education administration in 2000 from Florida State University and is employed in the Office of Registered Student Organizations-Assistant Dean of Students at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. SchoettmerPollert Stacy Lyn Schoettmer and Adam Lee Pollert plan to marry at 1:30 p.m. Feb.

8 at St. Mary Catholic Church, Greensburg. A reception will take place at the Knights of Columbus, Batesville. She is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs.

Leonard Stacy Schoettmer Schoettmer Greens- Adam Pollert burg. He is the son of Mr. and employed in the corpoMrs. Ron Pollert, Sey- rate office of ATA. mour.

The future groom is a The bride-elect is a 1998 graduate of Sey1998 graduate of North mour High School and Decatur High School and graduated from Indiana graduated from Indiana State University in 2002 State University in 2001 with a bachelor of science with a bachelor of science degree in marketing. He degree in aerospace is. employed in manageadministration. She is ment with Walgreens. Jaynes Jennifer Evelyn Jaynes and Troy Dow Grimes plan to marry at 6 p.m.

Feb. 22 at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Seymour. A reception will take place at Dakota Ridge, Seymour. The bride -elect is a 1986 graduate of Seymour High School and is employed at Cummins Industrial Center, Seymour. The future groom is a 1987 graduate of South Jennifer Jaynes Decatur High School, Troy Grimes served.

in for the five United mins Industrial Navy years Center, and is employed at Cum- Seymour. LIBRARY CLASSES Brownstown plans classes February computer classes at the Brownstown Public Library will include Introduction to the Internet at 5:30 p.m. Feb. 10 and Using the Library's Online Catalog at 5:30 p.m. Feb.

24. There will be a limit of two per class, and each class will last approximately 45 minutes. A sign-up sheet is at the circulation desk now. Family craft session slated The Crothersville Library will be host for a Family Craft "Dad and Me Mak- ing a Surprise for Mom for Valentine's Day" at 7 p.m. Thursday.

Children and their father or grandparent will be working on a floral arrangement for Mom's Valentine's Day gift. craft will be led by Sherry Montgomery of Mountain Memories. There is no charge for this program, but registration is required. To register or for additional information, call the library at 793-2927. Kids' crafts set The Crothersville Library will conduct a free craft for children in grades kindergarten through five at 3:30 p.m.

Jan. 29. Registration is required; call at 793-2927. A NEW GENERATION FRIDAY: PEOPLE PLACES.