Florida Today from Cocoa, Florida • Page 105

MOVIES Characters in 'Screwed5 deserve their unfunny fate That's exactly what you're likely to feel if you try 'Witch' creators to write, direct 'Heart of Love' Daniel Myrick and Edu-ardo Sanchez return to directing for the first time since their "The Blair Witch Project" with "Heart of I I "Screwed" (very poor) Starring: Norm Macdonald, Danny DeVito, Dave Chappelle, Sherman Hemsley, Sarah Silverman and Elaine Stritch. Rated PG-13; crude sex-related humor, nudity, language, some violence and brief drug content. Local Theaters: United Artists, Roxy 10, Oaks 10, Merritt South and Indian River 24 in Vero Beach. to watch this relentlessly unfunny loser, a candidate for the short list of the year's worst major studio releases. Pros like Elaine Stritch and Danny DeVito are always fun, but even their presence can't make a dent in this disaster.

Amazingly enough, it was written by Scott Alexan If im as- 7 7 Love, a comedy they also will write. "Love," in a very different vein than "Blair Witch," revolves around Henry, a outcast weirdo who, I it A I -1 Myrick Universal Pictures COMEDY OF ERRORS: Norm Macdonald, Sarah Silverman, Dave Chappelle and Elaine Stritch star in "Screwed." after his sick mother dies, becomes involved with a religious organization after seeing a TV commercial that mirrors his visions of seeing winged hearts talking to him. Schwartzman dons 'Donnie Darko' Jason Schwartzman is set to star in the dramatic fantasy film "Donnie der and Larry Karas-zewski, who have "The People vs. Larry Flynt" and "Man on the Moon" to their credit and, alas, chose to make their directorial debut with this picture. Their premise is that in these prosperous times a chauffeur-houseman (Norm Macdonald) would stick it out 15 years working for an imperious, cranky Pittsburgh cookie tycoon, Miss Crock (Stritch), who's such a skinflint that Macdon-ald's Willard is still wearing the same uniform he inherited from his late father along with the job.

At last reaching the end of his tether, Willard decides to snatch his employer's cherished little dog and hold it for a huge ransom. Naturally, the scheme misfires big a weirdo morgue worker who also happens to be an officer of the Jack Lord Fan Club. Daniel Benzali is the police detective trying to sort everything out. Alexander and Karaszewski bring a sledgehammer touch to their script, which does it no favors. The only smart thing about "Screwed" was Universal decision not to screen the picture in advance for the news media so as to avoid scalding opening-day reviews.

Kevin Thomas Los Angeles Times time, with Willard and his pal Rusty (Dave Chappelle) getting into increasingly bigger trouble. Willard and Rusty are none too bright, to put it kindly, and while many a comedy has turned upon the antics of numskulls, these two are colorless and charmless and simply too stupid and dull to care about. Dummies have to seem somehow endearing if we're to be concerned with what happens to them, but this pair is hopeless Sherman Hemsley is Miss Crock's top aide and DeVito is Darko, with Drew Barry-more to take a small role and executive produce. "Darko" combines elements of mystical fantasy and science fiction it i i r- Schwartzman Universal Pictures DOG SNATCHER: Grover Cleaver (Danny DeVito) is a creepy mortician who kidnaps the dog of his friend's employer to hold it for ransom in "Screwed." with a teen-age romance. Florida Today Wires I Make Nll SPECIALS MAUI'S Raw Bar Grill Full Liquor Service HAPPY HOUR 3-7PM $1 off Dozen Oysters or Wings Drafts $2 Wells OPEN On R.

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