Independent Press-Telegram from Long Beach, California on July 2, 1961 · Page 101
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Independent Press-Telegram from Long Beach, California · Page 101

Long Beach, California
Issue Date:
Sunday, July 2, 1961
Page 101
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AL K A V T M A N Too fuimy for words J O H N f.Ai.i.AC.MEH EDITOR'S NOTE: Corbet! Monica, a native of Sf. LO/n's, started out In show business as owner of a small hometown cafe dubbed "The Rlnc Room." hi finlcr to sure on entertainment, Monica acted as his own cmccc anil comedian. After several years nf e\pe.riencc, lie snld his club, headed for New Ytirlt, talked himself into nitcry jobs at the Cnpa- cahfiita, the Latin Quarter and subsequently into appearances-in must of the nation's leading supper chilis. Monica has appeared on the Ed Sullivan, Perry Coino and other TV shows, always uses clean, bright material such as the following: My favorite jokes by CORBETT MONICA A FELLOW I know checked into a hotel at Miami Beach. He was tolil the rates at the height of the season were $40 a day. "Do you have something cheaper?" he asked the clerk. "1 have something for 10 bucks a day, but you've got to make your own bed," t h e clerk answered. My friend said, "OK, I'll take it." . . . So the clerk gave him a hammer, a board and some nails. A LITTLE nov was talking to his mother. "Mom," he asked, "how was Papa born?" The mother said, 'The stork brought him." The boy asked, "How was grandpapa born?" Mother explained that the stork had brought him, too. "And how about grandma?" nsked the youngster. "The stork brought her, ton." The boy grew pensive for a moment, then declared: "Just \vhat 1 (bought -- not a normal hirlh in our whole family." ONE COUPLE, anxious to send their son to an exclusive prep school, filled out ihe application b l a n k . \Vhcn they came to ibe question t h a t asked, "Is your boy a leader or a follower?" they frankly answered, "He's a wonderful follower." Ten days later ibey received a letter from the registrar of the school slating that their son had been accepted in the enrollment of 120 s t u d e n t s -- 1 1 9 leaders and him. Two F I S H E R M E N were arguing. One said to the oilier: "Only last week I went fishing with no equipment to speak of--just a bamboo pole, a piece of siring, a pin for n hook and a leaf for bait. I caught a fish weighed 80 pounds." The olber fellow said, "What's so hot about t h a t ? Only yesterday I took my rowboat out on the lake. I just happened to slide my cane through the water. It came up with a lantern, and a candle that was still lit inside the lantern. What do you t h i n k of that?" Said the first fisherman, "Lonk, I'll take 30 pounds off my fish. You put out that candle." A WOMAN WHOTK a doctor who had been treating her husband: "Ever since my husband started going to you, he's become a different man. He used to In: a wonderful husband, father and provider. He was h a n d y around the house. lie adored me, considered me one of the most beautiful women in the world. Now, he scarcely looks at me, and he disregards the children. And frankly, doctor, I think he's become a woman-chaser. My feeling is that you have been giving him shots that have changed his personality." The doctor wrote back: "Dear Madame, As regards your husband, I have been treating him with nothing. I merely prescribed for him a pair of contact lenses." · Porotfe · July 1. 1961

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