The Philadelphia Inquirer from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • Page 16

6-B Friday, Oct. 1, 1976 Philadelphia Inquirer rf or New anil Broken Glass fmerpefes-n TVRADIO 24 Hour Board-up Service WOTLES FORYOU Only if he's tied and gagged will he watch this show again Dial 427-1000 anytime day or night. RUSSELL GLASS CO. AMERICAN MASTER PHILA. 19122- By LEE WINFREY i lir' On Television s2 par Tina is impersonated by Susan Blanchard, an actress of negligible ability.

Mr. is also burdened with two forgettable children, a sister-in-law who's a bore and an uncle who's unbelievable. The sister-in-law says things like "Wind very strong. I rost my hat." We are supposed to laugh at the idea that Japanese supposedly can't pronounce the letter "1." In this episode, Mr. invented a space belt.

He was flying up around the ceiling of his living room when Tina entered the room and picked up the control box, thinking it was a TV tuner. Mr. crashed, just as his show had some minutes before. Mr. arose and, mugging with exasperation, fired Tina for bringing him down, for earlier losing a $200 kite of his and for teaching his children to use American slang like "the pits." Tina left, leaving me nursing hope that she would never, return.

Out of misguided charity, the family persuaded Mr. to hire Tina back. She was flying off to the grocery in the space belt when the show closed. Tomorrow night, Mr. is supposed to grapple with a Sumo wrestler.

Now if they'd just find a space belt big enough to tie around the wrestler, Mr. and Tina all three, and then hand me the control panel. I am told by the Nielsen ratings that some 20 million Americans tuned in to the premiere of "Mr. and Tina" expecting to see a television comedy. Possibly not since the Emperor Caligula named his horse as a Roman consul has such a large crowd been so shocked.

To employ current slang, this is the pits. This is more than a pit: This is a tunnel through the earth's core, from Peoria through to Peking. This is one of the most senseless sitcoms ever made. The stunned mind searches for a parallel, but finds none. This makes "Big Eddie" sound like a Neil Simon play.

This makes "The Montefuscos" sound like a Peter De Vries novel. This makes "Dirty Sally" look like a Peter Sellers movie. This makes a black screen look like a relief. Doubly wounded, I've already seen two versions of this thing. I feel like suing ABC for damages.

If I ever watch "Mr. and Tina" again it'll be when I'm bound and gagged. Last summer in Los Angeles, ABC trotted out this turkey and loosed it upon a group of TV writers, among whom I was unhappily numbered. It was so much worse than anything else we saw this summer that it looked as though it had possibly been made for some other purpose than entertainment, possibly for shipment to some enemy country where the CIA wanted to scramble the brains of the citizenry. Eardrums bruised by the bellows of outrage from the critics assembled, ABC wisely withdrew this particular pilot from circulation, and, one hopes, it will never again be seen by man nor beast.

Subsequently a letter or two reached my desk alleging that a new pilot of "Mr. and Tina" had been made, this one a guaranteed howler. So out of a spirit of fair play, albeit with palms damp with apprehension, I tuned in on the premiere of the new and refurbished "Mr. last week. This is what I experienced: Pat Morita, a competent comedian, is still trapped in the lead role of Taro Takahashi, a Japanese inventor living in Chicago.

He still has the same governess for his children: Tina Kelly, a button-eyed zany supposedly from Nebraska. Moonbase Alpha floating into view with new stars and new humor imaaKW iium 1 il r-1 1 MilTM i i Hi UlTFi 0 nom i iJi If For one thing, she has a computer brain, so she's promptly named Alpha's scientific officer. "Maya calculates in symbols, not numbers," tall (5 feet 8), blond, blue-gray-eyed Miss Schell said in New York in a rush visit from England to" publicize the series produced by Sir Lew Grade's ATV. "That involves an entirely new di-' mension of mathematics, but don't ask me what it is. I'm very bad at math." Her chief and unique gimmick, however, is an ability to undergo instant "molecular transformation." She can change herself at will into "anything alive." In episodes already completed she has been a tomato (in the vegetable, not the male chauvinist slang, sense), a raspberry, a tiger, a lion, a leopard, a wolf, a gorilla, a bee, a beetle, a mouse, various birds and a rock.

A "live" rock? "There's always a script reason," she says. "In that show there's something a massive rock wants, but it can't communicate with us, it only emits strange rays of light, so I became part of the rock to try to understand. More bizarre plots "In another show I become a monkey, to climb a building. One inside, however, I'm again myself." She also transforms herself into various space creatures and humans. Her "other selves" are enacted by others.

By Harry Harris Inquirer TV Writer After months as an unseen Channel 6 property, "Space: 1999" returns to Philadelphia tomorrow at 6 p.m. on a new station Channel 17 and with many new trimmings. Husband and wife Martin Landau and Barbara Bain are still starring as Cmdr. John Koenig, leader of 300 earthlings on the adrift-in-space Moonbase Alpha, and as Dr. Helena Russell, chief medical officer.

But instead of being detached and deadpan, they'll start pitching a little woo. Barry Morse is no longer the series' resident science expert. Now there's a new costar, Catherine Schell, and a new featured player, Tony Anholt. Also, in the 24 new episodes the series' on sci-fi wizardry is going to be leavened with humor, mostly via the two new "regulars." Miss Schell, who's entitled through her Hungarian ancestry to be addressed as "Baroness" but is despite a marked British accent a citizen, plays Maya, an exotic-looking "alien," a "Space: 1999" equivalent of "Star Trek's" Mr. Spock.

Pointy-eared Spock hailed from Vulcan; Maya, with strange eyebrows, hairdo and facial markings, is from a planet far more scientifically advanced than earth, Psychon. Instant transformation Maya has so many miraculous capabilities that she makes the Bionic Woman seem underprivileged. "I'd like to play funny old ladies and things, but it would require elaborate make-up jobs. That would take too long and cost too much. From time to time I become Martin, Barbara and other Alphans, to get past security.

For a sight gag, after Tony gets me to sample what he's brewed in a beer machine, I become a hairy-faced Mr. Hyde. In another episode, to foil a magician who puts me into a glass box to admire my beauty, I transform myself into a fat, old, ugly lady. "After I'm rescued looking that way, Tony's reluctant to kiss me. 'What's the matter, I ask.

'Be a man of consequence; show you really love His anwser is: 'I'd rather remain a man of Fred Freiberger, who was associated with "Star Trek," is now producer-story editor, the budset has jumped to $.300,000 per episode, and plots are even more bizarre than before. "In one," Miss Schell says, "God is seen striding through the universe, his hair flowing, looking like Lawrence of Arabia. When we ask him who he is, he says, 'Your and he experiments with a new Adam and Eve. How does she feel about stories so far out? "I think a lot of what we do Is a terrific giggle, but I enjoy it. We all have arguments with the writers.

When we see a new script, we're constantly saying, 'Oh, come mm. ys ft- THE RACE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE CBS News presents a full report of this week's events in the campaign for the Presidency: the activities of the candidates and the unfolding of the issues. Soap opera turned after a reunion with son Jimmy. Carol left to visit her ill father, leaving Jay to Natalie's wiles. "DAYS OF OUR Don and Kim bowed out, leaving Julie and a recovered Doug to wed.

Everyone attended. Robert and Rebecca consummated their marriage. Marlene consoled Don. Bob fired David. "THE Matt's resignation was an admission of guilt to the district attorney.

Ann played up to Steve and his children. Hank suggested Paul as Matt's replacement. Jason's on his way to defend Matt. "THE EDGE OF Nancy lashed out at Mike for playing the crusader and putting his family in jeopardy, then met with the mysterious Beau. Nicole began to remember those missing 45 days.

Adam suggested she undergo narcosyn-thesis. Chris told Phoebe he'd treat Nicole. BJon Michael Reed SvecUtl to The Inauirpr ALL MY Phoebe told Mona she would never give Charles a divorce. Anne's baby, Elizabeth, was born but further tests are required. Mona grew suspicious of Mrs.

Carpenter. Chuck refused to remarry Tara. Phil refused to accept her on the rebound. "ANOTHER Beatrice had it out with Ray and Alice over Sally. Mac agreed with Gil that Iris should be sued for harassing Clarice.

Russ retreated from Sharelene. Marianne defended Dave to Liz. Carol returned but was rebuffed by Willis. Mac was furious about Rachel's delayed return from New York. Dennis learned that Iris bribed Molly.

"AS THE WORLD Bob accused Joyce of using Don as jealousy bait. Valerie confronted Kim, who admitted that she and Jason had bribed Val's old boy friend, Cliff, to get lost. Kim told Bob she couldn't tell Val the whole story. Sandy re- tHH SC9Wt CHARTER PLANE WITH HEIRESS ABOARD HIJACKED. IT'S PAY UP OR Life and death battle it out in the clouds.

Spencer's pilots fight against time to foil an elaborate kidnap-ransom plot. Christopher Stone, Todd Susman, Gene Evans star. FIRSTTIME ON TELEVISION i-nsii IP "GENERAL Jeff found Rick's letter, was convinced Monica sent it and began popping pills. Rex blackmailed Monica. Mark urged that Mary Ellen and Terri meet.

Lesley returned from a cruise and thinks she's pregnant. The Weber anniversary was a fiasco. "GUIDING Justin was pressed to sell his property to the hospital. He consulted Mike, but both agreed there would be a conflict of interest. Peggy was on duty when Granger regained consciousness.

Sara told Justin to forget about their past. Tim encouraged Evie to become a teacher. "MARY HARTMAN, MARY Charlie and Loretta discuss their son's future. Mary visits Foley and says she feels nothing. Muriel asks Clyde not to tell Charlie and Loretta the bad news about the contracts.

In their bedroom, Mary and Tom talk about infidelity, the Bible, fantasies and dreams. "LOVE OF Meg regained consciousness. Rick worried that Cal's concern for Marg means the end of their wedding plans. Felicia hired Lynn as a model. Sara moved out of Van's to care for Meg.

"ONE LIFE TO Brad's waitress-girl friend, Lana, became jealous and possessive. Larry and Karen made plans to holiday in Las Vegas; Vince didn't approve. Cathy hallucinated that Marion's still alive. Will insisted that Naomi stop her jealous fantasies. Matt played up to Dorian, who found it amusing and repulsive.

"RYAN'S Alex supervised Jack's operation. Dalia decided she's going to remain a Ryan by getting one brother or another. She plotted to lure Pat by using Roger as bait. Jill showed signs of being pregnant. "SEARCH FOR Gary was suspended from the hospi-tal, but found work at a free clinic.

Steve and Liza reconciled, as did John and Eunice. Scott and Eric filed for Eric's name change to Haywood. Bruce left for a European Radio Today pimjijauij Wmm 9-10 WUHY CLAUDIO ABBADO Conducts International Youth Three Orchestral Pieces Berg WWLJU "fff I MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS WFLN (900, 95.7) VLADIMIR HOROWITZ, pianist Works of Scriabin, Schumann, Scarlatti Kabalevsky Sonata 3 WFLN MORNING MUSIC Massenet-Scenes Pittoresques (Wolff) Grieg Sigurd Jorsalfar (Karajan) Faure Piano-Orchestra Fantaisie Rimsky-Korsakov--Symph. 1 (Khaikin) WIOQ (102.1) BILLY JOEL: VCold Spring Harbor" 5-9 WWDB (96.5) FRANK SINATRA 7.8 WUHY (90.9) AT EVENING Jacob William Byrd Suite (Fennell) Roussel Flute-Strings Serenade Thomson Symphony on a Hymn Tune (Hanson) WFLN-FM EVENING MUSIC Mendelssohn Hebrides Ov. (Karajan) Handel Concerto Grosso in flat Mozart Symphony 9 in (Marriner) 8-9 WUHY ROMANTIC FESTIVAL Hofmann Symphony in flat Beriot Violin Concerto 42 in minor 8-12 WFLN-FM METROPOLITAN OPERA MARATHON: Many top stars in benefit broadcast, from Amara to Zylis-Gara "ONE OF THE FIVE BEST PICTURES OF THE YEAR" -Vernon Scon, U.P.I.

mm mw. IN HER ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ROLE Two con artists out to steal your money. and your heart! With Madeline Kahn. On The CBS Friday Night Movies. GENERAL PROGRAMS WUHY WORi-D OF DANCE WBUX (1570) JOAN STACK: Den Bender, publisher's art director FRANK FORD: Donald Jamieson, president, Citizens' Crime Commission of Philadelphia 2-4 WWDB (96.5) FRANK FORD: Dr.

Alan Levine, on food additives WUHY FAMILY STORY: "The Story of Miss Wunderlich" WCAU (1210) MYSTERY THEATER 1000th broadcast: "The Clairvoyant," with Tammy Grimes. London fortune-teller in 1940s is too terrified to tell her customers what she saw 10-11 WUHY THE REAL NAT TURN- ER: Slave uprisings and historical studies WIBF (103.9) CASPER CITRON: Geoffrey Wolff, biographer of author Harry.