The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on April 12, 1987 · Page 14
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 14

Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Sunday, April 12, 1987
Page 14
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Engagements Ite Salina Journal Sunday, April 12,1M7 Brides Page 14 Julie Coleman Gregory Gil Jane Barber John Doberty LesaWard Monty Fox Coleman-Gil Salinans Charles and Marjory Coleman, 1102 Windsor Drive, announce the engagement of their daughter, Julie Laureen, to Gregory Allan Gil, son of Macario and Helen Gil of Abilene. The bride-lobe graduated from Sacred Heart High School and the Brown Mackie College. She works for So-Fro Fabrics, Salina. Her fiance, a graduate of Abilene High School and the Salina Area Vocational Technical School, works for United Parcel Service and Service Master of Salina. An Aug. 22 wedding is planned at St. Mary's Queen of the Universe Catholic Church. Barber-Doherty Salinan Joan H. Barber of 1302 Quincy announces the engagement of her daughter, Jane Garrett Barber, to John Lee Doherty, son of Jim and Janee Doherty of 1010 Vassar Drive. The bride-to-be graduated from Salina South High School and received a degree in journalism from the University of Kansas. Her sorority is Gamma Phi Beta. She is a marketing director for the Central Mall, Salina. The prospective bridegroom, also a South High graduate, is a divisional route builder for Schwan's Sales Enterprises. They have chosen the United Methodist Church of the Cross as the site of their July 25 wedding. Ward-Fox LUCAS - Mr. and Mrs. Gene Ward announce the engagement of their daughter, Lesa Jo, to Monty Wayne Fox, son of Mr. and Mrs. Austin Fox ofEUinwood. The bride-elect graduated from Lucas-Luray High School and Barton County Community College of Great Bend. She now attends Fort Hays State University. Her fiance, a graduate of Ellinwood High School, attended Barton County Community College and now attends FHSU. He works for KAYS Radio in Hays. They plan an Aug. 1 wedding at the Lucas United Methodist Church. Fritz-Luft GYPSUM — Gene and Margaret Fritz announce the engagement of their daughter, Laura Ann, to Richard Troy Luft, son of Hilary and Donna Luft of Bison. The bride-elect graduated from Southeast of Saline High School and received a bachelor's degree in Laura Fritz Richard Luft business management from Bethany College of Undsborg. She works for Anspacher Futures of Kansas Inc., Salina. The future bridegroom, a graduate of Otis-Bison High School, received a degree in computer science from Bethany College. He works for Electronic Data Services, a division of General Motors, Piano, Texas. They are to marry Sept. 19 at the Gypsum United Methodist Church. Swenson-Gengler Salinans Roscoe and Marilyn Swenson, 2053 Highland, announce the engagement of their daughter, Pamela, to John Gengler, son of Mona Gengler, 110 Bel Air. The future bride attended Salina schools and works for Regis Hairstylists in the Mid State Mall. Her fiance, a former Beloit resident, attends Kansas Technical Institute and works for General Battery Corp. They are to wed Oct. 24 at the Immanuel Lutheran Church. Skinner-Finan Salinans Robert and Charlotte Skinner of 1312 Pershing announce Pamela Swetuoo John Gengler Elizabeth Skinner Larry Flnan Susan Funk Matthew Wheeler the engagement of their daughter, Elizabeth Ann, to Larry Thomas Finan, son of Charles and Monica Finan of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. The bride-elect graduated from Southeast of Saline High School and works for Dillons in Winfield. The future bridegroom, a graduate of Coeur d'Alene Senior High, works in explosives ordinance disposal with the United States Air Force at McConnell Air Force Base, Wichita. They are to exchange vows June 13 at the First Church of the Nazarene. Funk-Wheeler OAKLEY - Dr. and Mrs. Willis L. Funk announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Louise, to Matthew Sterling Wheeler, son of Stephen Wheeler and Peggy Wheeler, of Kansas City, Mo. The future bride attended Kansas State University where she was a member of Delta Delta Delta sorority. She currently is a third year student at the University of Missouri School of Dentistry, Kansas City. The prospective bridegroom is a sales manager for Continental Advanced Service, Kansas City, Mo. They are to marry May 31 at the Oakley Christian Church. War babies on quest to find fathers By The New York Times LONDON — He was only 7 years old at the time, but Frank Hamilton vividly recalls the day his grandmother told him his father was an American serviceman stationed in England in World War II. "I was really pleased," said Hamilton, who is now 43 and runs an office-cleaning business in a London suburb. "My stepfather was a drunk who would beat me up. I was so glad that this horrible man was not my father." As his stepfather grew more abusive and his mother more passive, the boy decided to try to find his father. "I would go to the American war films, and when John Wayne led a regiment I'd look for my dad," Hamilton recalled with a chuckle. He took up his search in earnest 20 years later but without much luck. Then last year he joined a search and support group in London, the Transatlantic Children's Enterprise, or Trace. He still has not found his father, but he has some new leads and he feels he is on the right track. Being part of a group has helped. "For years I felt a bit embarrassed to say I was looking for my dad, but now I know there are a lot of others like me," he said. In the last few years hundreds of British adults, most of them fathered out of wedlock by American servicemen, have taken up the search for their fathers. Two new organizations are providing crucial asstaUince, although their work is hampered by a lack of access to American servicemen's records. Trace, formed in 1984, now has nearly 300 members, and War Babes, a Birmingham group formed the same year, has close to 250. Other individuals are looking on their own. The American Embassy in London receives three to five letters a week requesting help in finding unknown American fathers. Inquiries rise at Christmas and after World War II remembrances. War Habes said it has helped about 25 members locate their fathers so far. A founder of Trace, Pamela Winfield, said, "About a third of the members have found some news that is satisfactory to them, whether of their fathers or of "I would go to the American war films, and when John Wayne led a regiment I'd look for my dad." •Frank Hamilton their American families." Even if a searcher suspects the father was killed in action or has since died, most still want to know about their American relatives. Spurring the "war babies" — who are well into their 40s, with children and, often, grandchildren of their own — is a sense of now-or-never urgency. Many redoubled their efforts after the much- publicized 40-year reunion of D-Day veterans in 1984. "It's a desperate situation," said the founder of War Babes, Shirley McGlade, 41, who located her father last year. "These men are now in their 70s and 80s." Many searchers only recently learned that they had fathers to search for. The stigma of having a child out of wedlock in the 1940s was severe, and children were often told little about their fathers. Janet O'Regan, 42, manager of a Northampton dress shop, learned the name of her father only two and a half years ago when she found her original birth certificate. "That's when I realized he might still be alive," she said. "My mother had always told me he had been killed in the war." The need to establish a family identity has sharpened as the war babies have aged. Watching their children grow has also strengthened the urge to locate their fathers, or at least their fathers' families. "I have this very deep longing to find the other half of the moon," said Joan Hickey, 41, a Ix>ndon teacher. "I don't look like anyone in my family, and I've always felt a little strange about that. 1 also feel I owe it to my sons. If I don't do something now, they may blame me for it later." But it is not easy to find a father in another MCHTKN Ul> AND IJVK!! SUM PLAN ;ins April I 'i I J.i , ft r.) iimj/ » I.r.•.(•', iiMrif'l CAM, NOW 825-8224 <)I7 I Hi,i Hearing Aid* at a price you can afford Backed by the Reputation of Sears! JAMES LACY Sears Hearing Aid Consultant will be in your Sears store: April 13 9:30 am to 3:00 pm Come in for a Complimentary Hearing Test Your hearing needs are carelully and courteously attended to Liy capable highly trained personnel In-home appointments available USE SEARS CHARGE PLAN You (.tin count on Sears Ml fen I MAY 15 4 DAYS OZARK FOLK LIFE FESTIVAL Bus departs Irom Salina and points east along I 70. Includes: Bus, 3 nights hotel, The School ot the O/arka, Sliver Dollar City, Shepherd of the Hllla Farm. 1987 ROYALS BASEBALL TOURS Join Our But Trip* On: May 31 — Texas July 10 — Baltimore June 28 — Seattle Sept. 20 — Oakland Royals Weekend Aug 1 & 2 — Boston JUNE? WISCONSIN DELLS 8 DAYS Bus departs Irom Salina or along 1-70 east. Tour Includes: bus, 7 nights hotel, 6 meals, Si Louis: Qrants Farm, Union Station, Mississippi River Boat Cruise, Gateway Arch, Swiss Historical Village at New Glarus. Cornish Village, House on the rock, Wisconsin Dells Boat Ride, Lost Canyon, Tommy Bartlet Ski Show, Baraboo Circus Museum and the 7 Villages ot Amana, Iowa. SEPT. 15 NASHVILLE A MEMPHIS 8 DAYS Nashville City Tour — Hermitage — Opryland — Grand Ole Opry — Country Music Hall ol Fame — Twitty City — Elvis' Graceland SEPT. 27 HISTORICAL AMERICA AND FALL FOLIAGE 18 DAYS Monticollo — Williatnutiury - Washington, DC — New York City — Niagara Falls — Philadelphia — Boston — Uke Chwiplain Ft»rry Call or Writ* For Brochure* TRAYLOR TRAVEL 129 M. 0*nt* !>• ••Una, Kt. 07401 (913)020.0037 Fulton-Hintz TOPEKA - Mr. and Mrs. G.C. Fulton announce the engagement of their daughter, Jan Allison, to Alan Edward Hintz, son of Salinan Mrs. William Hintz, 400 S. 10th. The bride-to-be graduated from Topeka West High School and received a degree in fashion marketing from Kansas State University. She is a buyer for The Jones Store Co., Overland Park. The prospective bridegroom, a graduate of Salina Central High School, received a degree in accounting from KSU. He is a controller with National Fire Sprinkler Corporation, Kansas City, Kan. Their marriage will be solemnized Aug. 1 at the Most Pure Heart of Mary Catholic Church, Topeka. Attention, brides-to-be! A few tips will help the Living today Department of The Journal handle your engagement and wedding report* more efficiently. Forms are available at the office, 333 S. Fourth, that detail all information the staff needs to write the announcement, type or print information, as errors are prevalent when handwriting is difficult to read. Use rank for aU servicemen in the wedding party. If picture is to follow, indicate on form. Engagements are published in the Sunday edition and tKe deadline is noon Thursday. Pictures should be 3-by 5-inch black and white glossy prints for the best reproduction, these may Include the bride-elect only or the couple. Information and pictures for wedding stories must be received in our office no later than two weeks after the ceremony. Publication is on a space-available basis in Sunday editions. Pictures should be 5- by 7-inch black and white glossies, these may include the bride only or both of the newlyweds. Engagement and wedding pictures should be close-ups rather than full-length. Snapshots will not be accepted. Articles about the bridal showers are printed before the marriage takes place, the deadline for this information is one week in advance of the wedding date. Photographs can be returned in self-addressed, stamped envelopes or held at the Journal office for pickup. country after more than 40 years. Trace and War Babes dispense lists of government and military offices, newspapers and even schools that have been helpful. One woman found her father by advertising in Army Times, a civilian newspaper popular with veterans. The two groups have also cultivated a network of people in the United States who have helped speed up searches. Many of those searching have spent years writing to the wrong organizations or tracing fathers to the wrong cities or states, problems often compounded by a lack of information. "If all they know is that their father's name is Chris and he came from Hackensack, they haven't a hope," said Winfield, who is the author of "Sentimental Journey" (Constable, London), a book about British brides of American servicemen that included a chapter on the illegitimate children. It is usually necessary to know the branch of service, military unit and home state of the father. The truly lucky children know their fathers' military serial numbers. But many mothers will not discuss such matters. Some have blocked out the war years; one woman had her mother hypnotized in an effort to pry out a few details. For many the biggest stumbling blocks are the bureaucracy in the United States and, in particular, the Privacy Act of 1974, which decrees that a veteran's military records and address cannot be released without his or her permission. The policy of the Military Personnel Center in St. Louis is to forward a letter if it finds an address for the man being inquired about. But many World War II records were destroyed by a fire there in the 1970s. Some searchers have had luck through alternative routes like state motor vehicle departments and the Veterans Administration, but a growing number are indignant that military records, usually the best way to trace veterans, are off limits. "If my father wants to reject me, that should be his choice, not the government's," said O'Regan, who has written to senators and government officials about the problem. Mother-in-law wars no joke for many By the Journal's Wire Services Mother-in-law problems are no joke to millions of American families who suffer from them. Nearly 60 percent of all marriages suffer some degree of tension caused by stress between a mother-in-law and daughter-in- law, psychologist Leonard Felder estimated in arfarticle in the April issue of Redbook, based on his research counseling hundreds of families. Felder, co-author of "Making Peace With Your Parents" and "Making Peace With Yourself," said the cold jvaj with your mother-in-law could take its toll. It can put a strain on your marriage and on your children, add tension at family get- togethers, result in phone calls that ruin an entire day, strain your health and well-being. Felder wrote that mothers-in- law exhibit four traits that tend to drive daughters-in-law crazy, and many mothers-in-law exhibit two or three of these traits. They are: • The advice-giver. "When your mother-in-law is an advice- giver," Felder wrote, "even the smallest issue can turn into a struggle over who knows more and who's in control." Don't lose your sense of humor. Be firm and loving and stand up for yourself. "Rather than arguing about such crucial issues as how to wash broccoli," Felder advised, "try to step out of the situation for a moment and appreciate the humor in it." Don't argue with her. Tell her you hear her concerns and will take her advice into consideration. You may also have to tell her the two of you can get along best if you both ease up on the criticism and advice. • The competitor. "Unfortunately," Felder wrote, "there's a built-in element of rivalry in every mother-in-law/daughter- in-law relationship." Realize your mother-in-law is not going to let you be the only influential woman in your husband's life. "Rather than hope your mother-in-law will change," Felder wrote, "you would be wiser to look to your husband for support, while also drawing upon your own inner strength and the knowledge that this is a natural way for her to feel." • The companion-seeker. "One of the most delicate challenges of all is the widowed, divorced, aging or otherwise dependent mother-in-law who needs or wants more from you than you are willing or able to give," Felder wrote. The truly needy mother-in-law presents both an emotional and a practical problem. On the emotional level, you must know your own limits and not feel guilty about sticking to them. On the practical side, explore options that could lighten your load — friends on whom she could call, relatives who could do their fair share, community resources and services that are available, hobbies and amusements she might enjoy. What could your husband do to make the situation less stressful? • The gift-giver. "Many mothers-in-law enjoy being generous, but their generosity comes with certain expectations," Felder wrote, adding, "When being offered gifts you suspect have strings attached, remember also that you don't have to accept them." No matter which traits your mother-in-law exhibits, he said, "the more you stand up for your own rights and insist that she treat you with respect, the sooner you will achieve an Unproved relationship with 'the other woman' in your husband's life." Gowns — Tuxes — Keepsake Garters A. Son In Srtriilrrii

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