The Philadelphia Inquirer from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • Page 42

2-D Wednesday, July 20, 1988 The Philadelphia Inquirer By JUDITH MARTIN Convention newsmakers 1 pr MlSS Manners A name stirs a buzz: The next Kennedy? A AT JSK .1 IE U' "above-average children" In the pledge. The phrase is from his introduction to Lake Wobegon, the mythical town featured in his monologues and fiction. Also seen lurking around the convention: Rob Lowe, Ed Begley Ally Sheedy, Pat Paulsen, Morgan -Fairchild, Ed Asner, Richard Masur and Billy Carter. Lowe said his political involvement dated back to selling Kool-Aid for George McGovern, the party's presidential candidate in 1972. "I came down to see what this spectacle was all about," be said.

"I'm going to be going around the country registering young voters in the fall, and I really wanted to come down and see firsthand so I can speak from experience about what it's like." Lowe said he and Atlanta Mayor Andrew Young would co-host a dinner for the city's homeless tonight. Newsmakers Springsteen sings at concert honoring Sandinistas Responding to questions about surgery Dear Miss Manners: I had a breast augmentation a year ago. We didn't tell anyone except family, but a few friends guessed it. I've neither denied nor admitted anything. But a woman who works at the same place I do has chosen to tell some co-workers, and now women are asking to see my breast and questioning me about the cost, pain, procedure, etc.

The men now stare, and a few have accidentally brushed against me. How do I respond? I feel good about myself and believe I'm very assertive, but I'm at a loss on this one. Denying it would be lying, admitting it would be inviting further discussion. I'm beginning to feel violated. Gentle Reader: Beginning to? Miss Manners can hardly think of a more blatant verbal violation of a lady's dignity than making her bosom the topic of discussion.

The proper response is a cold "I don't believe you know anything about my medical history, and I really don't care to discuss it it's between me and my doctor." With this approach you can, if you choose, give the name of your doctor to those actually seeking advice about having it done, but still without acknowledging the nature of your transaction. Dear Miss Manners: A good friend of my husband's from college has asked my husband to be a member of his wedding party. We have learned that they intend to have a head table for the wedding party. I am to be seated at another table. I have little taste for going a long distance to attend a wedding where I will be unable to sit with my husband and won't know many of the people.

I have suggested that my husband call the groom and tell him that he would like, if possible, to be seated elsewhere, with his wife. My feeling is that if they are unable to accommodate this, I will simply not attend. My husband would then attend by himself and provide some excuse for me. What is your Gentle Reader: The best place for the two of you to sit together at dinner is at home. If you cannot exert yourself enough to make friends with your husband's old friends for the duration of a meal, you certainly should not be going about socially.

Feeling incorrect? Address your etiquette questions (in black or blue-black ink on white writing paper) to Miss Manners, The Inquirer, Box 8263, Philadelphia 19101. By Carol Horner Inquirer Stall Writer The mere appearance of John F. Kennedy name on last night's convention schedule stirred speculation over whether he'd be the next member of his family to enter politics. "I think he'll be involved in public affairs one way or the other in the future, not necessarily running for office," said his uncle, Sen. Edward M.

Kennedy whom the younger Kennedy, 27, introduced to the convention last night. "I think he'll use his talents to try to make some sort of contribution." John Kennedy, a third-year law student in New York City, has fought to keep his life private. "He simply does not do interviews," said family spokeswoman Melody Miller. Elsewhere among Massachusetts pols, Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr.

showed up at a breakfast yesterday sponsored by Sen. John F. Kerry The former House speaker who not long ago was the leading voice of the Democratic liberal wing said the party had been too liberal for too long and applauded efforts to bring the party closer to the political center. "Politics is the art of compromise," said the former House speaker, 75, who retired in 1986 after practicing the art for 50 years. "You have to have a voice on both sides." Former California Gov.

Jerry Brown, saying he missed public life and likely would seek office again, yesterday joined his father, former Gov. Edmund "Pat" Brown, to boost the political career of his sister, Kathleen Brown, a potential candidate for California state treasurer in 1990. The assemblage of Browns drew a throng of reporters, who quizzed Jerry Brown, 50, about his future. He joked that he couldn't assess whether he had reached his peak until he knew how long he would live but conceded that "there's not much else" available to him. Republican Gov.

George Deukmejian's second term won't expire until January 1991, and Brown couldn't run for the seat held by Sen. Alan Cranston Calif.) until 1992 if Cranston, 74, chose to bow out. Brown quipped that as a fallback position, he might run for district attorney in Nevada County, where he still owns a cabin. One of the most visible members of the Florida delegation to the convention is Rep. Bill Chappell (D who has been linked in recent news reports to the Pentagon procurement scandal.

Chappell has done everything from leading the pledge of allegiance at Florida delegation meetings to socializing with rank-and-file delegates at cocktail parties, and some party officials said they were surprised partly because he had attended only three other national party conventions in his 33 years as an elected official. Chappell dismissed the suggestion that he was chasing favorable publicity. "I have total confidence that the people of my district understand that bunch of garbage for what it is," he said. Garrison Keillor's role in the convention was strictly a made-for-TV appearance. The convention officially opened at 6 p.m.

Monday with a prayer and the pledge of allegiance, but at 9 p.m. it was all done again for television viewers, with Keillor leading a flock of By ANN LANDERS men. I'm sure they will sound familiar: 1. Never make plans to be with him on holidays. He must be with his in-laws because that's the way it always was.

2. Never plan to go out on Friday night. That was "their night" and he can't seem to break the habit. declining, according to a Gallup poll. The study found that 44 percent of American adults have no ties to a church or synagogue up from 41 percent 10 years ago.

Nevertheless, pollster George Gallup, who identifies himself with the evangelical wing of the Episcopal Church, insisted, "We are a remarkably religious nation, at least on the surface." Marrow transplants. The success rate of bone marrow transplants could be improved if doctors boosted levels of drugs that suppress patients' immune systems, a new study suggests. A quarter to a half of such patients suffer from a complication known as graft-versus-host disease, in which immune system cells from the marrow attack major organs. Sisterhood? More than a third of the women surveyed by Glamour magazine described female co-workers as "mostly competitive in a sneaky, backstabbing way." Only 11 percent described male coworkers that way. Forty-two percent said they'd been sabotaged on the job by a woman, 7 percent said they'd been sabotaged by a man, and 28 percent said they'd been sabotaged by both.

Compiled hy Marc Schnqol end inetuHmq reports front Glamour maoanne and Inquirer wire eorvicee. Word watcher By Morton S. Freeman Would this sentence be approved for formal writing: "Due to rain, the game was It would not. Due to would be replaced by because 0 or owing to. Due is an adjective and must have a noun to modify, which it doesn't in the example.

Make it "The postponement was due to rain." Some grammarians disagree, recognizing due to to be as much a prepositional phrase as because of, owing to, on account of. But it is safer to follow traditional usage. What word would serve better than "fix" in "Newton's in a terrible Try problem or predicament. Fix, as you must recognize, is a low colloquialism meaning to be in a position hard to get out of or in an awkward state of affairs. To esk Morton S.

Freemen questions about proper English, write to Word Watcher, The Inquirer, Bon 8263, Philadelphia 19101 1 New Jersey delegates Diane Quinton (left) of Moorestown and Olympia Dukakis (right), dispute, ruled Chancellor Neal Small, Esposito must bow to a temporary Injunction barring him from sharing his shots. No trial for the lawsuit has been scheduled. The cost of going mod Sotheby's expects an assortment of 2,000 odd and garish items from rock star Elton John's house to bring In $5 million at auction in September. John says that for five or six years he has been musing about changing the look of his house in Windsor, England, and now he is doing it. "I'm changing direction now.

I'm going to be ultramodern," he said. Among the items on display at Sotheby's in Manhattan are a pair of 54-inch boots worn by John in the film Tommy; the Statue of Liberty outfit he wore during his Bicentennial tour of the! United States, and 100 pairs of eyeglasses, including models trimmed with feathers, furs and light bulbs. "He said he wanted to have his house cleared, and that was quite a project," Peopletalk By Liz Smith New York City's other most sizzling rumor about Cher (her P.R. folks have already said that she's not pregnant) is that she will play Cleopatra for the New York Shakespeare Festival. But I hear Meryl Streep has dibs on the part.

Frank Perdue, the chicken man, got his final divorce from wife No. 2, Kathleen, in May. Now he'll marry again around Labor Day, probably in Washington. No. 3 is to be Mitzi Ayalla.

When Last Exit to Brooklyn came out in 1968, Hubert Selby novel was banned by the Catholic Church and thought to be so raunchy as to be "unfilmable." But now the movie is being made by an independent, Constantin Films, and it stars Jennifer Jason Leigh and is being directed by Uli Edel. And guess where the cast and crew's commissarydressing room is set up? In the St. Elias Byzantine Catholic Church in Brooklyn's Green-point section. There is even a rabbi's daughter in the cast. Shelle Ackerman to his dead My father is an avid tennis player.

Whenever he returns from a tennis game, he heads for the boiler room to take off his sweaty clothes. He then comes upstairs stark naked and walks through the living room. He oftens stops to ask me questions such as, "How was your day?" or "What have you planned for this evening?" His nakedness embarrasses me and I can't deal with it. Is this normal for a 43-year-old father? He seems to think so, although I don't. I am the youngest child and the only girl in the family.

Mom has seen this and has asked Dad to please wrap a towel around himself. He refuses. I wish you would print this letter so I can put it on the refrigerator and let him know So you may have more disposable income to save for retirement. Put a suggested retail price on your golden years. Studies say that 70 percent of current income will serve you nicely in retirement if lifestyle is unchanged.

But that is weakened by the question of how long you live. How good is your pension? Social Security might cover 25 percent of your income needs. How much will your pension cover? Less if you job-hopped, and even less if you held low-paying positions. But pension and Social Security will not likely hit that 70 percent mark. You are going to need a company savings plan, IRA, Keogh, annuity or other self-propelled savings vehicle.

I have offered my husband a retirement gift. As he is about to quit the office, he can also give up the family bookkeeping. He's done it since 1947. 1 am not doing it out of kindness, but rather out of a sense of survival, since I may be left alone with the chore some day. How do I get organized? I will not copy my husband's system.

It is a mess. You are a wise woman times three. You give a good gift by assuming a dull chore. You protect your fulure alone by learning KM a The Philadelphia Inquirer CUM MURRAY Academy Award winner and a cousin of the presidential candidate, listen to floor proceedings. said Hillary Kay, head of Sotheby's collectibles department in London.

Although the items are on display on this side of the Atlantic, the auction will be held in Star treatment Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMa-' hon, visiting a seriously ill child to call attention to the family's financial plight, has also defied his reputation as a conceited swaggerer. "He was shy, and he didn't talk much at first," said Scott Bremer, 13. "But later he started talking real good. He wasn't cocky or anything." In the last three years the boy, who was born with polycystic kidney disease, has. suffered through two failed kidney trans-0 plants, which left him dependent on dialysis.

He has survived 13 operations, a heart attack and a collapsed lung. Friends of the Bremer family organized McMahon's visit to the Bremer home in Holland, Mich. The Associated Press and United Press International contributed to these reports. plays a high-class hooker. Clint Eastwood has been a mayor; Sonny Bono is a mayor, and Stevie Wonder says he might want to be the mayor of Detroit.

In New York, Jackie Mason keeps saying he would make a good leader for Fun City. Hmmmmmm. Judy Kaye is a real Broadway favorite, and has been even more so since her Tony-winning role as the comic diva in Phantom of the Opera. She plans to leave the big musical in January to make a New York debut in an operatic role in Desire Under the Elms, with music by Edward Thomas, book by Joe Masteroff. This is Eugene O'Neill's centennial year, and, of course, the opera is adapted from his work.

The New York Opera Repertory Theater is to give the work its world premiere three performances only! Ugo Tognazzi of the La Cage Aux Folles movie is getting along quite cozily with the starlet Emanuela Contri, who must be about one-third his age. wife's family how much this bothers me. Thank you. Waiting for a Cover-up in N.Y. Dear Waiting: Your father's exhibitionism indicates that he has a real problem and your mother's indifference is nothing short of infuriating.

You shouldn't have to put up with this garbage. If you are old enough to register disgust, you surely can find the courage to say, "Dad, I hate it when you run around in front of me naked. Cut it out." If he continues to behave like a creep, walk immediately into another room and freeze him out for several days. He'll get the message. Have a question or comment? Write to Arm landers, The Philadelphia Inqiarer, Bon 11662, Chicago, M.

60611-0662. family finance. And you reject your husband's mess by writing for ideas. From the experiences of other retirees, here is a system that seems to work. Buy a three-ring loose-leaf notebook.

Also pick up ruled notebook paper and a dozen or so clear plastic envelope pages that fit the three-ring binder. Put those plastic envelope pages in the front of the notebook. Inside them, insert pages of family facts. Those clear plastic pages will also hold names and telephone numbers of your siblings, children, in-laws, attorney, accountant, life insurance and property insurance agents, banker, broker and doctor. Note the location of your safety deposit box and will.

Describe real estate, auto ownership, bank accounts and credit cards, plus life, health and disability polices. Other sheets should list the money you owe, money owed you, company and other benefits. For each investment, every stock, all bonds, any savings or retirement accounts label one of those ruled notebook sheets. Prepare columns reading: date, dividend or capital gain, share price, number of shares, value, yield. Have question or comment? Write to Kent S.

ColBne. The Inqueer, Boa 8263. Pheedelpma 19101. i One more example of politics' making strange bedfellows: In East Berlin yesterday, Bruce Springsteen played a gig that was officially in honor of the ninth anniversary of Nicaragua's Sandinista revolution. Got that? The East German ADN' news agency said more than 150,000 fans packed the Weissensee cycling stadium on the northern outskirts of the city, which has been a venue for a string of big-name rock gigs in 1988.

Springsteen's concert was broadcast live on East German radio; TV stations were to show excerpts. sale Yet another attempt to market Elvis Presley has foundered, for now, on the rights of other marketers. A Memphis judge ruled Monday that Joe Esposito, one-time personal aide to the king of rock, may not copy and sell home movies he took of Elvis mingling with friends and family at Graceland. Administrators of the singer's estate contend that they have the sole right to sell Elvis' name and image. Until a lawsuit settles the Actor Tom Selleck warms up in Baltimore with the last-place Orioles before a game with the Minnesota Twins.

Selleck shagged flies Sunday and took batting practice, but the Orioles lost again, 7-2. 3. Don't let his in-laws know that you are dating him steadily. They wouldn't approve. They believe the memory of their daughter should sustain him forever.

4. Don't go out with anyone else. Stay free in case he wants to see you. 5. He warns you not to get serious, even though you are as intimate as if you were married.

He calls several times a day. 6. Don't be surprised when he dumps you for someone who is "more like his wife." It just happened to me. Nowhere and Boiling in Maryland Dear Boiling: What an O. Henry ending! Thanks for the short course.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a 15-year-old girl who needs to find out if I am overly modest, crazy or what. A Kent S. CollinsSenior forum How much money should I save to guarantee a secure retirement? Your question can be answered only with more questions: How many years until you want that secure retirement? If you are 10 years away, you must save twice as much per paycheck than if you were 20 years away. Financial planners scold folks in their 30s and 40s into starting retirement savings now. That's good advice.

Of course, folks in their 30s and 40s squirm at that because of family financial demands. School clothes, summer camp, braces and college tuition are immediate, and retirement is two decades away. But recognize a certain comfort in those expenses. They will be gone when you get close to retirement. Gone, too, may be your mortgage payment or at least lessened by inflation of other costs and the growth of your paycheck, With children grown and on their own, you may not need such huge life-insurance protection.

if isiTi trv----- Beware of dating a man who's wedded Dear Ann Landers: In response to the letter from "Dead End Deal," about seeing a married man, may I offer this additional bit of counsel: Don't date a man who is married to his dead wife's family. My husband and I were best friends with a neighbor couple for several years. I lost my husband and was alone for 27 months. Then the neighbor's wife died. After a while, he and I started to see one another.

It was wonderful to have company again. We were compatible in so many ways. But unfortunately, he was married to his inlaws. Many of the same rules apply as the ones you listed for women who go with married Personal briefing Ideas trends Brush with disease. Incredible as it seems, some people share toothbrushes.

Quit it! Even if it doesn't gross you out, you could pass along some pretty heavy-duty viruses, like oral herpes. Herpes simplex virus which causes fever blisters, cold sores and mouth ulcers can live up to 48 hours on a dry toothbrush and a week on a moist one, researchers say. Even solo toothbrush users should get a new one at the first sign of a fever blister. The melting pot. Asian-Americans are better paid and bvtter educated than American whites, but a report by government civil rights experts is reludant to declare an "Asian success siory" and insists that discrimination still exists.

Partly concerned that it could generate animosity, six of seven U.S. Commission on Civil Rights members have voted to postpone adopting the 289-pnee study until more outside experts tan review and interpret it. ChurrhicoinK. Church affiliation is.