The Los Angeles Times from Los Angeles, California • 73

If the President has not seen one of his appointees for a loS gtafftlf Cimes Sun, Nov. 21, 1976 -Tort 3 long time ne mignt asK nun, uia you winter weu: wnicn is what someone in the Deep South asks a person in the spring that he hasn't laid eyes on since Christmas. Since Carter has never been to Washington he is not acquainted with too many members of the Establishment He might be asked, for example, if he knew Clark Clifford. The President could reply, We've howdied but we ain't shook," which would mean that the President knows the name, but he was never introduced. henhouse." If you apologized publicly, that "would put spit on the pple" and end the argument Suppose the secretary of state is confused about a diplomatic problem.

The White House aides might leak the fact that the secretary is "like a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest." When someone comes back from a trip overseas and brags about it he will be known as "journey proud." If he lies to the President they will say of him, "His mouth ain't no prayer book." If he failed to give the President the information he wanted, a White House aide might say, "He never said pea turkey" or "We got what the bear grabbed at," which means they got nothing out of the conversation. How will you know if Carter is angry? If he ever says "That takes the rag off the bush, Brezhnev better watch out, because the lowest thing someone can do in the Deep South is steal someone's washrag that he left on a bush to dry. Ain't Nobody Here but Us Carters WASHINGTON-I'm grateful to Roy Wilder Jr. and David Moffett of the Gourd Hollow Press in Raleigh, N.C., who sent me two little books titled "You All Spoken Here," devoted to how country people speak in the South. Nobody knows how many people from the Deep South Jimmy Carter will bring with him, but the dictionaries will be invaluable to help us know what they're talking about For example, if the Carters are throwing a dinner party at the White House and there is a discussion of the guest list, one of Carter's aides might say, "He's too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash." They would be discussing, of course, a member of the Southern aristocracy.

If a Southern member of the staff says to you, "Don't get cross-legged," he is telling you not to get angry, or your wires crossed, or your signals mixed, or upset without knowing the situation. There will be occasions when someone in the Carter en tourage gets mad at a congressman or a senator. He may then tell the press, "He's three pickles shy of a barrel." This means he doesn't have all his marbles or "he's three bricks shy of a load" or that "his traces ain't hooked up right" If the same person says the congressman or senator is "Passin gas faster'n he can cap it," it means the person in question is a windbag. A Cabinet officer may be in trouble with the President. If someone says he "pulled through" it means his sins have been forgiven and "he's ready for deep dip baptism." Despite a Carter Administration, there will always be sex scandals in Washington.

A man caught in one will be known as a person who is "wild as a boar in a peach orchard," which means he is unrestrained in his sexual passion. Some presidential appointments may get more power than others. In this case, the person in ques'ion will be referred to in the Administration as a "big dog in the meat house." If you are invited to the White House for dinner you can tell your friends: "Last night I ate the President's salt." The worst thing is to "eat another man's salt" and then knock him in public. If word gets out that you did, it could make the President angry and his press secretary might say, "The President is as mad as a rooster in an empty STARTS SUNDAY NOVEMBER 21 SHOP ALL STORES 12:00 A.M. -5 P.M.

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