The News Journal from Wilmington, Delaware • Page 20

Evening Lurnal, Winington, Del. Tuesday, March 29, 1966 THE WORLD OF WOMEN Etiquette for Today Don't Let Guests Plan Wedding By AMY VANDERBILT "DEAR MISS VANDERBILT: My daughter is living in New York City and recently became engaged there. She plans to be married in New York, since most of their friends and the groom's family are there. My husband's job requires frequent moves, so we have no 'home "The custom in New York among engaged couples, so my daughter tells me, is to have a smorgasboard with alcoholic drinks before the ceremony. Sometimes the groom appears, but never the bride.

This lasts about one hour. "FIRST of all, I can't imagine any celebration of a wedding that the bride doesn't join her guests. Secondly, I would be uneasy least some guest imbibe too freely and cause a disturbance during the solemn religious ceremony which follows immediately after. "A full-course dinner is served to the guests following the wedding ceremony. Immediately after the dinner, which includes dessert, a huge table laden with sweets and drinks of every description is wheeled into the room.

The guests converge upon it like so many locusts. An orchestra provides music for dancing all evening. "It sounds to me like an eating contest and quite unbelievable, but it was described in detail by many people to my husband and me when we were last in New York. My problem is this: We are financially able to provide the type of wedding our daughter wants but to her father and me it seems i in bad taste. "OUR daughter feels that, since this is the custom among her friends and associates, to leave any part out would make us appear since it is obvious we can afford it.

However, to my husband and me, and to our family and friends, it would appear that the food is the main attraction. Mrs. S. Chicago." Your mention of the "sweet table" made me feel that perhaps this wedding is a Jewish one. I discussed it with some of my rabbi advisers who think it may be an extension of the Eastern European tradition, wherein the groom sits at a table apart with male friends who R.

E. Muggleton Photo Miss Neilia Hunter Neilia Hunter To Marry J. R. Biden Mr. and Mrs.

Robert Hunter of Skaneateles, N.Y. announce the engagement of their daughter, Miss Neilia Hunter, to Joseph R. Biden Jr. He is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

Joseph Biden of 1114 Wilson Road, Wilmington. Miss Hunter graduated from Penn Hall in Chambersburg, Pa. and Syracuse University. She is employed as an English teacher in the Syracuse City Schools. The bridegroom-elect is a graduate of Archmere Academy and the University of Delaware.

He is studying for his law degree at Syracuse University. New With (Mothers usually have the last 1 word with their daughters, but today this has been switched. Lisa Cronin, a reporter in the women's department, interviews her mother who has just been named new president of the YWCA.) By LISA CRONIN Perhaps being at Vassar in the '30s started it all, but Mrs. Edward W. Cronin was definitely not a member of "The Group." "That's a forbidden word in Vassar circles," she jokes as she discusses the lifelong fascination with social work that led her to her current position as president of the YWCA.

"Vassar was a place of intellectual ferment as it and many other college campuses are today. Almost everyone was concerned with social problems," she says, explaining how it all got started. AFTER college Mrs. Cronin did postgraduate study in social work at Columbia University, and a field study in Harlem during the waning years of the depression convinced her that social work would be her field. "After all, it's the fastest growing enterprise in the world," she laughs as she contrasts those years with the current involvement in building The Great Society.

"The whole field is vastly different now and changing fast," she explains. "Government help especially with the current war on poverty programs has taken over many of the functions of private agencies. Private social service agencies are going to have to re-evaluate their whole program. "Not that the government's involvement is a cure-all," she continues. "There are still a great many unmet needs in the community and it's our job to fill them." An example is the YWCA's growing concern with the problems of lower middle and middle class women.

"It's often the women who pay the price for living in a middle society," Mrs. Cronin believes. "The young mother is left at home while her husband meets people through his work. Friends and relatives who help with the children are often hundreds of miles away. "I think that one of the Y's best programs is "'Mother's Day Out," when we have and sports for the young women and a baby sitter to care for the children.

Any woman who's ever been trapped at home because she can't afford or get a sitter, knows how much this program can mean. "BUT that's just one program," she goes on. "We interested now in doing work with the "latchstring children" children who carry their doorkeys on a string around their necks because no one is home when school is out. We have a swimming program now to help keep some of these children busy until their parents return from work. "One of the best things about the is that it is helping to end economic segregation," Mrs.

Cronin explains "We have people from almost every economic level in the community coming to the for the programs and when they're here they meet on an equal level. "The is trying very hard to reach the poorer sections of the community. Often people from the lower income groups never leave their own areas, and we feel that the is ideally suited to bring them out of the ghetto and into the larger community And that's just some of the things that the Y's been doing. "I'm excited about being president of the and hope to do as good a job as Margaret Rennie" (Mrs. Sylvester Rennie, the retiring president).

"This isn't the "good ole this is a dynamic organization." Mrs. Cronin is also enthusiastic about what she has learned as a community volunteer. "You always get more than you give," she insists. "For example, when I was personnel chairman for the I learned so much about interviewing, salaries, making job classifications and countless other things. Social service is really a learning process." Obviously.

Mrs. Cronin hasn't stopped studying for in Wilmington she has served as president of the Wilmington League of Women Voters, the Delaware 'Y' President Fascinated Social Work Since College have a drink or two to keep him company while he is awaiting the veiling of the bride before the ceremony. It is the Orthodox custom, however, for both the bride and groom to fast before the ceremony, so he does not take a drink. The excessive amount of food and drink and the manner of serving it you describe, my rabbi friend tells me, is probably due to the pressure of caterers who are looking for extra business. At a proper Jewish wedding, he says, the rabbinate frowns on this kind of display.

I suggest that you give your daughter the kind of tasteful wedding of which you can thoroughly approve yourself. It is, after all, the bride's family who sets the standard of the wedding not the groom's friends. Miss Karen A. Nutt Karen Nutt, W. Gottschall Are Engaged Mr.

and Mrs. Earl R. Nutt of 1522 Dilworth Road, Willow Run, announce the engagement of their daughter, Miss Karen Ann Nutt, to William Keith Gotschall. He is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

John W. Gottschall, of 319 Penniwell Drive, Leedom Estates. The bride-to-be is a graduate of John Dickinson High School and is employed as a dental assistant in Wilmington. Mr. Gottschall is a graduate of William Penn High School and is serving in the U.S.

Army in Germany. April Wedding Date Set Mr. and Mrs. C. Maurice Connor of Connemara, Paoli, announce the engagement of their daughter, Ens.

Faith M. Connor, NC, USNR, to Robert Woolverton Murray. Mr. Murray is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

Robert D. Murray of Berwyn, Pa. He was graduated from Hamilton College, Clinton, N.Y. He is associated with the Ames Publishing Co. of Philadelphia.

Miss Connor is a graduate of Villa Maria Academy in Malvern, Villanova University's College of Nursing and the U.S. Naval Women Officers School, Newport, R.I. She is stationed at the National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md. The wedding will take place April 30. Mrs.

Brennan Is Honored Mrs. S. Margaret Brennan of 1830 W. Eleventh was honored at a party Saturday celebrating her 90th birthday. The affair was arranged by her two daughters and two sons, James Brennan and Mrs.

Marie F. Sullivan, at home; Earl Brennan, also of Wilmington, and Mrs. Helen Aydelotte of Flushing, N.Y. YWCA family, she believes. Mrs.

Cronin's includes a husband and four children. Staff Photo by Fred Comegys Mrs. Edward W. Cronin is excited by her new job as munity, a woman is able to bring a new interest to her president of the YWCA. she believes that "volunteer course you learn so Vassar Club, and Block Blight, and she's been on the boards of many organizations.

What about her family? They're just fine. "Many women are afraid that volunteer work will interfere with their family duties, but I've always noticed that the busiest of my friends are also the best organized. Mrs. Cronin feels that by going out into the community, she is able to give the family another focus of interest "It makes for better conversation," she smiles. (During the recent open housing controversery, an outsider would have thought that the Cronin family was on starvation Willard Stewart Photo Miss Leonora Blackhurst Blackhurst Engagement Announced The engagement of Miss Leonora Blackhurst to John Shattuck Wait is announced by Mr.

and Mrs. Laurence Rhoderic Blackhurst of Wilmington, parents of the bride-to-be. Mr. Wait is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

John S. Wait of Skaneateles, N.Y. The bride-to-be is a graduate of the Tatnall School of Wilmington, and Bennett Junior College. She is the granddaughter of Mrs. Laurence Rhoderic Blackhurst and the late Mr.

Blackhurst, and Mrs. F. Hunter Hackett of Cleveland, Ohio, and the late Frank F. Chiles. A graduate of Hebron Academy, Hebron, Mr.

Wait is also an alumnus of the University of North Carolina. He is the grandson of the late Dr. and Mrs. John Parlimon Cole of Scarsdale, N.Y., and the late Bertrand H. Wait of New Rochelle, N.Y.

The bridegroom-elect is employed by the Du Pont Co. in Wilmington. An active community volunteer, work is almost like taking a much." By working in the com- rations. The dinner table was weighted down with reference books, and everyone did much more talking than eating.) SHE believes that museum feet are an occupational hazard for mothers and likes a house full of books. From the books she gleans useful hints on how to handle family situations.

Anyone who balks at a chore is stymied by a favorite quote from Emerson, "Service is the rent we pay for living on and who argues with Emerson! A busy schedule for mother means that the children often have to pitch in around the house "Just pretend your in the she cheerfully tells the son who likes his room a creative shambles. But on the other hand, when her children were younger, she made it a rule to pick them up from school. "A child feels flat if no one's at home to talk about his day, when school is over," she explains. And she rarely goes to evening meetings "I like to spend that time with my four children and husband." Next year Mrs. Cronin will be busier than ever, for there'll be a lot going on at the new YWCA.

Working with her will be the new slate of officers: Mrs. Vincent Verplanck, first vice president; Mrs. Walter E. Timm, second vice president; Mrs. Kenneth S.

Mowlds, third vice president; Dr. Hilda Davis, recording secretary; Mrs. Harold Jacobs, corresponding secretary; Mrs. Virginia Hanby, treasurer; and Mrs. C.

Rodney Lund, assistant treasurer. The ladies will be planning new projects to make Delaware a better place to live in for women and girls. And they'll enjoy it, for if service is indeed the rent we pay for living on earth, Mrs. Cronin and the volunteers and staff are among those people who willingly pay their debts. As I See It Young Man Fancier Than Ever in Spring By MARY McGRATH In spring a young man's fancy, and this particular spring he's fancier than ever.

Gone is the "pop" look, where the designs were based on the cultural atrocities of the Warhol set. Gone, too, is, the "op" look, which was designed strictly for eye appeal and any relation to taste was strictly an optical illusion. The "fop" look is in, with every Yankee Doodle looking the dandy and a riot of glorious color, besides. Only a "rat" (their word, not mine) would consider showing up in the Easter parade in the black-from-head-to-toe outfit that was so popular last year. Beatle boots have been replaced by saddle shoes.

Not even the Beatles wear them any more, darling. THE 1 lad who is really with it is going "colleeg" this year. It's the look of the early '40s, in living, breathing color, that could quite literally knock your eye out, or at best blind you for life. To anyone ancient enough to remember the era when the "colleeg" look was worn by fellas who actually went to college, it is a little like seeing one of your favorite black and white TV shows in color for the first time. It looks familiar, but you never imagined it could ever really look like THAT! The tweeds and corduroys are still there in the sport jackets, but good, old basic brown has been lightened and brightened to almost pastel tints.

Pale greens and pinky reds have taken over the tweed in a revolution which surely must have Harris haunting his looms. Madras and Paisley are everywhere, except in unmentionables, and since they are so seldom mentioned, who really knows? SHIRTS, socks, and ties must match and the hours spent trying to match a madras tie to a shirt are unbelievable. The biggest change in men's fashions is in pants. For years the lads have been criticizing the girls for their wild assortment of slacks, taking exception to the colors, the cut and the fit. Now, it is becoming obvious that the whole critique was motivated strictly by jealousy, as the range and style of women's slacks have been taken over by the "teen-man" set.

It is particularly funny to find them opting for Navy-style bell-bottom trousers, when they could have them easily, if they weren't so bent on burning their draft cards. There is one bright side in Deborah Board To Meet The Wilmington Chapter of Deborah will hold a board meeting Thursday at 8 p.m. at the home of Mrs. Elmer Kaufman. The 15th anniversary luncheon to be held April 21 at Elks Club will be discussed.

Doris Neftulin will present a program at the luncheon, speaking about the story of "Fiddler on the Roof." Eleanor Goetz and her troupe will also entertain at the anniversary celebration. the too-bright picture of young men's fashions. The "colleeg" look is both clean and cleancut. It is no longer necessary to have long, greasy hair and a dirty neck to be "in." If they only stopped there, things might be almost normal. If reasonable adults could only be sure that the technicolor craze was only a passing fancy, they might be able to relax a and live through it.

Boys will be boys, and all that sort of thing. When they try to be girls, the trouble starts! (Copyright, United Feature Syndicate) DAR Chapter To Hold Luncheon The Cooch's Bridge Chapter, National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution, will hold a luncheon Saturday at 12:30 p.m. at the Horseless Carriage, Newark. Mrs. M.

S. Richard and Mrs. W. C. Meyer will be hostesses.

There will be a business meeting following luncheon, and Mrs. William P. Hillman, program chairman, has arranged to show slides of the Kate Duncan Smith and Tamassee schools. Mrs. W.

G. Leigh, regent, has announced Mrs. Alfred A. Weir will accompany her to Washington the week of April 17 as a delegate to the 75th Continental Congress. Alternates are Mrs.

Robert Weimer, Mrs. Alex D. Cobb, Mrs. Raymond W. Heim and Mrs.

Ernest D. Lamborn..