Arizona Daily Star from Tucson, Arizona • Page 27

Areana Batlg Star Tucson, Wednesday, May 21, 1986 Page Eleven H.E.A.L.ing lets grieving parents express their pain If Die PREVIEW 111 By Pat Conner The Arizona Daily Star Liz Winkler is smiling again and this time it's for real. Last year, the smiles were a disguise, a public mask to hide the pain she felt for the loss of her son. The infant, who was born 15 weeks premature, lived 13 days. During the past year, Winkler has come full circle in the grieving process, from sorrow and anger to acceptance. Seated in their living room, she and her husband, Jerry, their two children and friend, Paula Frighetti, look through the child's memorial box.

Covered with blue and white dotted swiss, it contains the assortment of belongings that tell the story of Scott Anthony Winkler's short existence. His mother gently pulls out the contents: the certificate recording his birth on March 22, 1985. A rattle, stuffed animals, silver baby spoon and two snapshots of the 1 -pound, 6 -ounce preemie hooked up to tubes in the intensive care unit. The certificate recording his death on April 4, 1985. A blue candle from the memorial service.

Sympathy cards. And the baby blanket that she started before his premature birth and finished months after his death. They're all tangible proof that Scott existed, that he was and will be remembered by his parents and siblings. What helped Winkler feel less isolated was a memorial service she attended a year ago. It was sponsored by Operation H.E.A.L.ing, a support group for families who have lost babies through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death.

It was through the group that she met Frighetti, who also lost her unborn child because of pregnancy complications about the same time last year. Both serve on H.E.A.L.ing's board of directors and want to get the word out to other families who might benefit from this Friday's memorial service. PEOPLE Vk it i Paula Frighetti, with Francesca and Frighetti, who has three daughters ranging in age from 9 to 2' years, says that losing Brian was difficult for her husband, who wanted a son. "Brian was so active and so strong (while he was developing in the womb). To suddenly lose him like that was a big blow," says the 26-year-old woman.

"People think: 'He wasn't real. You never had this live person outside your body. The only time you held him was when he was dead, so therefore he wasn't But that isn't true." She and Winkler recall that some of the people who attended last year's memorial service lost their children 30 or 40 years ago. "Things are changing now," Winkler says, "but back then there was even more of a need to cover up your feelings. The memorial service is an opportunity to give that formal recognition to the child.

It's so Jackie Bll, The Arizona Daily Star Jewish history in Arizona" Department were Jewish A Jew named A.H. Emmanuel was mayor of Tucson for three terms, from 1896 to 1900 The first synagogue in Arizona was Tucson's Temple Emanu-El Before 1943 when there was no kosher market in Tucson, there was a butcher who had a kosher section in his shop and a 'kosher hook' The first known Jewish wedding here was in 1879." And she goes on, naming the names that have become very familiar in Tucson names such as Drachman, Levy, Bloom. "The more I learn, the better it gets," she said, heaving a wistful sigh for certain "old ladies suffering in Miami" who went there because they heard there were so few Jews in Arizona. 1 Billie Kozolchyk regrets her advice -Li i i Kid What: Second annual non-denominational memorial service sponsored by Operation H.E.A.L.ing, a support group for families who" have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth and other early infant death. When: 7:30 p.m.

Friday. Where: Our Mother of Sorrows Church, 1800 S. Kolb Road. Telephone: Anyone who wants to have his or tier baby remembered or who wants to attend the service should call 790-5954 or 885-8899. The support group meets the third Thursday of each month at 7:30 p.m.

in the Carondelet Room at St. Joseph's Hospital, 350 N. Wilmot Road. "I had been afraid to cry in front of anyone because they wouldn't understand," Winkler says. "But that night at the memorial service, I cried and cried through the whole thing.

And I looked around and Paula was crying and everyone else was crying. I hadn't met Paula yet, but I was crying because she lost Brian. The lady across the room lost twins. We felt everything for everyone who was there. "It was such an equalizer.

We were all there for the same reason, and I could feel her loss, my loss, and everyone's loss, and everyone who was going to lose a baby to come. I wasn't alone anymore because these people were feeling the same thing I was and they were feeling it for my baby as well as theirs. It felt so good to hurt so bad." Unlike the harsh hospital environment, this one was soft, with candlelight and flowers. After the service, they released helium balloons blue, pink or white for each child and a black balloon for all the bad feelings that had been eating away inside. Jewish Historical Society, she has been collecting Jewish memoirs and data to preserve for future generations.

It's a job in which she says she is "learning by the minute," not only about the history of Jews in Southern Arizona but about her own heritage. Kozolchyk grew up in a non-Jewish neighborhood in Yonkers, N.Y., in which there was no synagogue, and the family had no car so she seldom attended "But," she says, "I always knew I was a Jewish kid the teachers gave me a window to decorate at Hanukkah." Kozolchyk said her mother, "in her innards, was very, very religious" but their observance of Shabbat (sabbath, which begins at sundown on Fridays) was usually limited to lighting the Sabbath candles at home after meeting her mother for a restaurant dinner and a movie at the end of her mother's workweek. "The Passover seder was celebrated at my aunt's and they would fly through the service in Hebrew." In college, meeting other Jewish classmates increased her awareness of Jewish history and heritage, as did three years spent in France in the early 1960s. "In Fontainebleau, the only reminder of REVIEW "Top Gun," rated PG; directed by Tony Scott, starring Kelly McGillis and Tom Cruise; playing at the Foothills, Buena Vista and Tucson 5. pilots, the pressure they endure and the women they love.

That may be making way too much of the plot, but there it is: an endless succession of air maneuvers with helmeted men barking indecipherable commands to one another, interspersed by sleekly oiled, tan pilots playing volleyball, drinking, singing and making love. This is Ernest Hemingway in the air, put to music and Bnji Sandart, The Arizona Daily Star Christopher Winkler important to have some recognition of their life, no matter how short." 1 Both women value the way the service brought them closer to other grieving parents. "What it did for us at that point, it brought us out of the shadows, out of isolation, to the realization that there were other people going through what we were going through," Winkler says. "We weren't alone, and we didn't have to be." Frighetti adds, "The realization that '-those things we were feeling we weren't crazy or going overboard in our grief. We were normal human beings." "It's wonderful not to think about it all the time," Winkler says.

"Sometime I still cry, but it's not the same all-consuming, never-ending type grief. It's something that I've accepted. The tears are gentle." Frighetti agrees. "They are like a gentle rain instead of a thunderstorm." Jackson working on comeback By William Scobie London Observer Service LOS ANGELES After a yearlong sabbatical, Michael Jackson, the 27-year-old prince of pop 'n' soul, is back in action. He is completing a film with Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas, a new album with Quincy Jones, new videos, new TV commercials, and endless merchandising deals.

He is considering a new tour, this time of Japan and Australia. The prospects are thrilling hearts and minds at Disney Studios (producers of the film); at Jackson's record label, Epic, and parent company CBS; and above all at Pepsi-Cola, where executives are hailing their new agreement with the young actor-singer-entrepreneur as "the biggest personality product endorsement deal in 1 advertising history." An extraordinary deal it undoubtedly is: Jackson, with a personal fortune already in excess of $200 million, will get $15 for making just three commercials for Pepsi. Of these he will appear in only two. For See JACKSON, Page 13B to grow up, and the woman he loves remains the woman he loves. "Top Gun" reverberates with action but it's a hollow story.

This movie is like MTV with a narrative line. It doesn't go anywhere. It just looks good and repeats itself. Cruise is too good-natured and at heart, to make us believe that Maverick is a tough nut, although the young actor takes a creditable shot at what is otherwise a thin role. And while Edwards and Kilmer provide pleasant accompanying efforts, only McGillis seems to be able to make more of her part than is really there.

"Top Gun" will turn on people and probably make a lot of money. Any more depth and substance would have made it a better movie, but then again, depth and substance might have killed off the youth market. Welcome to summer. Liz Winkler, second from left, and "It brought it all together for me," Frighetti says. "It was a healing process.

After the service, we went into another room for chips and dip and a mime company that made us laugh. It was like a complete circle, from crying, to laughing and being together." Winkler helps her 2 -year-old daughter, Francesca, adjust a costume on her Barbie doll, while cradling her 3-month-old son, Christopher, who was born 10 months after Scott's death. "It took away the pain of wanting a baby and not having one," the 24-year-old woman says of Christopher's birth. "Still, Scott was an individual. He was my son.

He had a special place in my heart, and he still does. I still had to go through the normal grieving and mourning process, to resolve my feelings about him. I have done that quite well." Kozolchyk found "an extraordinary a Jewish community was an empty lot with a commemorative plaque saying that a synagogue at the site had been 'razed by the Nazi But when the Algerian Jews started coming in, they had no hang-ups about being Jewish and held Jewish New Year's services in the town hall." When she and Boris whom she married in 1967 moved to Tucson, her interest in local Jewish history began to take root. Now, her face becomes very animated when she starts reeling off references to Jewish involvement in and contributions to Arizona culture: In 1881, three out of I 12 members of the Tombstone Fire gussied up, a male bonding movie at 35,000 feet. Tom Cruise, so delightful in "Risky Business," plays Maverick, a cocky young pilot whose sense of adventure always borders on the dangerous.

With his flying co-pilot, Goose (Anthony Edwards), Maverick enters the elite Top Gun fighter school ready to win the grand prize and show everyone else how to reay handle the bullet-fast F-14 fighter jets. What he learns is that the enemy is himself and the competition stiff. Along the way he falls for the school's weapons specialist, played by McGillis. "Top Gun" opens with a stirring and deftly photogr aphed scene in which Maverick and his fellow pilots are taking off from aircraft carriers in the red, chilly C. I I mill By Dodie Gust The Arizona Daily Star 'Is I had known then what I know now, there would probably be a larger population in Arizona," said Tucsonan Billie Kozolchyk.

She was talking about her years as a social worker for the International Ladies Garment Workers Union in New York City in the mid-1960s. "The workers could see us about anything; we belonged to them. Some of the women wanted to discuss retirement and some who had arthritis talked about coming to Arizona. I discouraged them because I thought there were very few Jews here." What Kozolchyk knows now is that there is "an extraordinary Jewish history in Arizona." i "The Jews are relatively few in number (an estimated Jewish population of 20,000 in Tucson and 40,000 in Phoenix), but they have contributed a great deal." She started finding this out when she moved to Tucson in 1969 with her husband, Boris, an international lawyer, who is a law professor at the University of Arizona Since she began in October as the first (part-time) executive archivist for the Southern Arizona Chapter of the Arizona MOVIES Summer adventure movie 'Top Gun' has familiar look, but little plot dawn. The first air sequence is pretty exciting to watch, too, because you can feel the speed and danger in the job and director Tony Scott keeps his cameras close to the action.

But once the story revs up, when Maverick and Goose, two freewheeling troublemakers, stir up matters at jet pilot school, you can see where "Top Gun" is going. An air sequence follows a love scene, which is followed by a confrontation scene between Maverick and his competitor, played by Val Kilmer, which is then followed by a male bonding scene (games, drinking, The tempo of the movie never changes and neither do the characters. Maverick learns how to stop being such an irksome egomaniac, tragedy supposedly forces him By Jacqi Tully The Arizona Daily Star In "Top Gun," a glossy adventure romance, men are men and women are like shower curtains necessary but hardly memorable. I hesitate to compare Kelly McGillis to a shower curtain because the former "Witness" star is elegant and bright and the best thing about this movie, although her role is virtually translucent. But there you go summer is here and so, too, are summer movies.

Produced by the fellows who turned "Beverly Hills Cop" into a huge moneymaker, "Top Gun" is designed to stimulate a sense of adventure in young male audiences and to turn them on a little, too. In so many ways like "An Officer and a Gentlemen," "Top Gun" is about fighter.