Albuquerque Journal from Albuquerque, New Mexico • Page 25

COUPLES Albuquerque Journal Saturday, February 18, 1989 Page 3, Section 6 W-Wiwjj i i Cunico, Madrid The University of New Mexico Alumni Memorial Chapel was the setting Feb. 11 for the wedding of Kelly Le Anne Cunico to Mario Abel Madrid. The couple exchanged double-ring vows. The bride is the daughter of Bill G. and Mertice Cunico of Albuquerque.

Parents of the bridegroom are Manuel and Adella Madrid of Hansen, Black Chris Hansen and Brian Black, both of Las Cruces, exchanged marriage vows in a double-ring ceremony Feb. 4 at St. Bernadette's Catholic Church. Parents of the bride are Mr. and Mrs.

William Hansen of Albuquerque. The bridegroom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Black of Hopewell Junction, N.Y. Marv Bleacher of Las Ilaroz, Roth Tammy Janette Ilaroz and Lt.

Richard Roth both of El Cajon, were married in a recent double-ring ceremony at. Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque. The bride is the daughter of Dr. and Mrs. C.

Thomas Haroz of Albuquerque. Mr. and Mrs. Richard D. Roth of Whitehall, are the narpnts of the bridegroom.

Ashcraft, Hall In a candlelight ceremony Feb. 11 at the First Congregational Church, Rachel Marie Ashcraft became the bride of Russell Knox Hall. The couple recited double-ring vows, The bride is the daughter Joseph and Joan Ashcraft of Albuquerque. Parents of the bridegroom are Wendell and A. Margaret Hall of Albu- nnprnue.

Cruces was maid of honor. Mrs. Brian Black The hride was attended bv MfS. R. ROth Jr.

Shari Cunico was the mat- Mrs. Mario Madrid ron of honor. Manuel Madrid Jr. was his brother's best man. The bride and groom spent their honeymoon on a ski trip to Colorado before returning to their home in Albuquerque.

The bride is employed by Christy Mac's Restaurant. The groom is a supervisor at United Parcel Service. Matrons of honor were Mrs. Russell Hall Christine Bailey and Karen Rogge. Kurt Wagner and Eric Kubina were best men.

After a ski trip to Crested Butte, the couple will be at home in Albuquerque. The bride is a financial analyst. The groom is a programmer analyst. Kevin Black of Plymouth, was his brother's best man. Following a wedding trip to Maui, Hawaii, the couple will be at home Las Cruces.

The bride is a registered nurse at Memorial General Hospital. The groom is an electrical engineer at Westinghouse Corp. in White Sands. her sister, Lczlie Haroz of College Station, Texas. Richard Roth Sr.

was his son's best man. The couple took a wedding trip to the Grand Canyon. They will make their home in San Diego. The bride is a nurse at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego. The groom is in the U.S.

Navy. Engagements Sally Brooks of Portland. A May 27 Kulh, Barnes weeding is planned in Albuquerque. Turner, Gilmer The engagement of Karla Turner to Dana Gilmer has been announced by her mother, Mrs. Dana Turner of Albuquerque.

The couple will be married April 22 at the First Baptist Church, Zimmcr, Baker Mr. and Mrs. William E. Zimmcr of Duncanville, Texas, announce the engagement of their daughter, Dr. Judith Ann Zimmcr, to Dr.

Byron Brent Baker, son of Mr. and Mrs. Leonard E. Baker of Midland, Texas. An April wedding is planned.

Nifliau, Wi.e Carl and Winnie Nichaus of Jacksonville, announce the forth coming marriage of their daughter, Cynthia, to Timothy Wise, both of Albuquerque. He is the son of Gene and Sandy Wise of Albuquerque. The couple will be married July 29 at Queen of Heaven Church. Mann, Gonzalez Tom and Sadie Mann of Albuquerque have announced the engagement of their daughter, Michelle, to Juan Gonzalez, son of John and Phyllis Gonzalez of Albuquerque. The couple plans a May 13 wedding at the University of New Mexico Alumni Memorial Chapel.

Carrillo, Srliman The July 22 wedding of Ana Catarina Carrillo to James Anthony Seligman has been announced by her parents, Dr. and Mrs. F.M. Carrillo of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place at Queen of Heaven Church.

Conair, Martinez The Oct. 7 wedding of Cynthia Diane Gonzales to J. Robert Martinez Jr. has been announced. The future bride is the daughter of Mrs.

Elsie Gonzales of Albuquerque and the late Amado J. Gonzales. The future groom is the son of the Rev. and Mrs. J.

Robert Martinez of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place at St. Bernadette's Catholic Church. St. Charles Borromco Church.

The engagement was announced by her parents, Robert E. and Elizabeth A. Kcllam of Pojoaque. He is the son of Carmel J. and Carolina Chavez of Albuquerque.

Srrtla, Lopez Carlos and Lydia Serda of Albuquerque announce the forth coming marriage of their daughter, Carolyn, to Mark C. Lopez, son of Rudy and Carolyn Lopez of Albuquerque. The couple will be married Sept. 23 at St. Bcrnadctte Catholic Church.

Bond, The Aug. 26 wedding of Lorctta Marie Bond to Jeffrey Scott McDonald has been announced by her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Gerard Bond of Albuquerque. He is the son of Mr.

and Mrs. Daniel McDonald of Albuquerque. The couple will be married in Albuquerque. Ijwrrncc, I wood Dennis and Sue Lawrence of Albuquerque announce the engagement of their daughter, Shari Lyn, to Brian Mark Lnckwnod of Portland, Ore. I Ic is the sun of Rick and Otero, Sikora Damacio and Margie Otero, 2824 Mesilla NE, have announced the engagement of their daughter, Delia Anne, to John Joseph Sikora son of John and Mary Ann Sikora, 2816 Indiana NE.

An Oct. 14 wedding is planned at Queen of Heaven Church. Schmidt, McDowell Mr. and Mrs. Dclbert Schmidt of Fort Morgan, have announced the engagement of their daughter, Jodcl Michelc, to Bradley Alan McDowell of Fort Morgan, formerly of Albuquerque.

He is the son of Mr. and Mrs. David Quintan and Guy McDowell, all of Albuquerque. A March wedding is planned in Fort Morgan. Brown, Burr hrtt July wedding plans are being made by Angela Dawn Brown and James O'Neill Burchett.

The announcement was made by her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Brown of Eaton, Colo. The future groom is the son of Dr. and Mrs.

O'Neill J. Burchett of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place in Albuquerque. The engagement of Dina Y. Ruth to RonW.

Barnes, both of Albuquerque, has been announced by her parents, Dale G. Ruth of Albuquerque and Sandra II. Ruth of New Providence, Pa. The future groom is the son of James W. and Phyllis Barnes of Los Alamos.

A May 28 wedding is planned at the University of New Mexico Alumni Memorial Chapel. VivJailli, Madine Iiuis and Pam Visslailli of Boca Raton, announce the forth coming marriage of their daughter. Nicole, to Jeff Madine, son of Harry and Elaine Madine of Rio Rancho. A June 3 wedding is planned in Boca Raton. Jamison, Sniirl The May 21 wedding of Shelly Jamieson to Danny Smicl has been announced by her parents, Bill Jamieson of Los Lunas and Dianne New ton of Albuquerque.

The future groom is the son of Adclbcrt Smicl of Los Lunas and Patricia Rcales of Albuquerque. The couple will be married at the University of New Mexico Alumni Memorial Chapel Corn-dock, Phillip Wallace and Patricia Comstock of Rio Rancho have announced the engagement of their daughter, Monica, to Doughs Phillips of Las Vegas, Ncv. He is the sun of Gerald and Carole Phillips of Las Vegas. A wedding date has not been set. Krilam, Chatrz Nikki Kcllam and Carl D.

Chavez will be married Sept. 16 at HohcrtMin, Wcltlon Rcnec Lynne Robertson will marry Kevin Paul W'eldon Oct, 21 at St. Bernadette's Catholic Church The engagement was announced by her parents, Tom V. Robertson III of Dallas and Darlenc M. Davis-Robcrston of Overland Park, Kan.

I Ic is the son of Mr. and Mrs. James E. Weldon of Albuquerque. Walker, KWl! The engagement of Barbara Ann Walker to Phillip Clay Russell has been announced.

The future bride is the daughter of Mrs. Enid B. Walker of Albuquerque and the late Donald Walker. The future groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

Phillip W. Russell of Albuquerque. A Sept. 9 wedding is planned at the First Congregational Church. Anniversary Authors Study lingering Effects Of Divorce on Parents, Children By Joan Kelly NCWSOAY Celebrate Golden Jack and Thcda Douglas Rushing were honored on their gotden wedding anniversary with a surprise brunch hosted by their daughter 'and son at the home of Mr.

and Mrs. Leonard Grossman. The couple were married Feb. 1939, in Im Lunas. Mr.

and Mrs. Rushing renewed acquaintances with Solomon Vallc-gos who performed the marriage ceremony and Emclio Lopez who was an attendant at their marriage. They have two children Bcttic Jcanlnc of Macy, Neb and Jack D. Rushing and wife, Barbara Bell, of Basking Ridge, J. Rushing is a retired coach, athletic director and teacher, having served two years at Santa Fc High School, 12 years at Albuquerque High School and 17 years at Highland High School.

Mrs. Rushing is a retired execu- Imp Mr. and Mrs. Jack Rushing tivc secretary to the Albuquerque area director, Bureau of Indian Affairs. 'The adult who divorces tries to shut the door and go on and create a new life.

Many fail; many succeed. For the child, the experience is first the failing marriage, then separation, and then the long period in the post-divorce family and it's a continuing experience. For the child, there are no closed doors." -Judith Wallersteln Wedding bridegroom is the son of Bill and Shirley liinsdcll of Los Lunas. The couple were attended by iXina Simon, Bobby Roy, Ernie Capias. Pamclla Dcnch and Laurran Dcnch.

After a wedding trip to Las Vegas, the couple will be at home in Ln Lunas. The bride is employed by the Lovelace Medical Center and the groom by Kolle Tile Inc. LiiimIcII Marriage vows were exchanged by Deborah SimonDcnch and Steven Lnnsdclt. The double ring service took place Feb. 14 at their home in Lunas.

Parent of the bride arc Tony and Juamta Simon of Albuquerque. The family that makes all the difference." A child's vision of marriage and relationships will continue to he affected by how this, their first model, is experienced and remembered, Wallcrstcin says. And it is never too late to clear up mispcrceptions. Even if the child is grown, an honest, heart to-heart talk is always helpful, Wallcrstcin says. She tells the story of a women who asked her mother, divorced 20 years, to tell her "something good" about her father.

The daughter later confided. "Io you know they once loved each other?" "She needed that," Wallersteln says. "She needed to feel that at some point they had something good. She needed that for the present for her own relationship." If possible, clarify the reasons for the divorce, even if it took place many years ago. It may help them understand the nature of their own often exaggerated fears as they try to form loving relationships of their own.

Parents should encourage their children to ask questions about the divorce, says Wallcrstcin, something they rarely do. "They may encourage children to hear their version of it but they don't encourage honest questions." If parents can put the divorce in perspective, it can be very helpful, Wallerstetn says. Even grown children need to know that what happened to their parents won't necessarily happen to them. Parents should resist the temptation to deride each other in front of the children as if it didn't matter. "It matters," says Wallcrstcin, noting that children seemed to fare worst in families where the anger was undiminished.

And what of the parent who has done this for years, even in jest? If it is already a pattern, stop and explain, suggests Wallcrstcin. Say, for example, "I misunderstood a lot of things and I just realized how upsetting it's been over all the years my talking in a derogatory way. I haven't realized it would hurt or make you feel bad. "There's room for civilization, for generosity, and for kindness," she says. Wallcrstcin's conclusions were based on interviews over 10, in some cases IS, years with parents and children in 60 mostly white, middle class families in California.

Families were chosen in which the children were doirg well in school at the time of the divorce and parents weren't being treated for psychiatric disorders "divorce under the best of circumstances," say the book's authors. It has barely reached the bookstores, let alone the talk show circuit, but it is already causing a stir. "Second Chances Men, Women if Children. A Decade After Divorce," by Judith Wallerstetn and Sandra Blakcslec (Ticknor Fields; presents the first long term study of families after divorce. A recently published excerpt, saying that many children suffer serious latent reactions to divorce, sent some parents into panic Some, skimming the piece, concluded it was too painful to read.

"I just wanted to avoid it because it's something I've been dealing with for a long time," said a professional man in his 50s with two grown daughters. "The effects on them were marked," he said. "They're healthy. They could be healthier The study indeed offers some sobering statistics. Three in five children felt rejected by one or both parents.

Half grew up with parents who were still intensely angry with each other. Only one in seven parents experienced a happy remarriage and half went through a second divorce. One in four saw a severe and enduring drop in their standard of living. Even more chilling were reported residual effects that seemed to turn up regardless of how well a child had adjusted to the parents' separation and divorce at the outset. But, as painful as the possibility of these hidden wounds may be, experts say, there are ways at any stage to help children heal.

"The book docs not say that you are doomed," says Wallcrstcin, a psychologist and executive director of the Center for the Family in Transition in Corte Madera in Northern California. "The book docs talk about a tot of long lasting results, but it does not say you're doomed by a long shot." To their surprise, researchers found that more children were troubled 10 years after the family break-up than at five. Almost half of the children studied were entering adulthood as "worried, underachieving, self-deprecating and sometimes angry young men and women." About 66 percent of young women showed "sleeper effects" in fears of failure and betrayal in their relationships with men. "A lot of young people are coming into adulthood running scared," Wallcrstcin says. While the book offers a wealth of advice on how best to protect a child emotionally and economically in the aftermath of a divorce today, what of parents who are long divorced and worry about damage SCHOOL MENUS The SNAP menu for the same period follows: Monday: Closed for Washington's Birthday.

Tuesday: Corn dog or hot dog on wheat bun. baked beans, pickles, chilled fruit, cookie. Wednesday: HcalthNet Menu: Tuna salad on croissant, potatoes with skin, peanut butter cup, apple wedges. Thursday: Oven fried chicken, whipped potatoes, gravy, salad, wheat roll, frozen juice dessert. Friday: Enchiladas, shredded lettuce, pinto beans, corn bread, orange smiles.

The master menu for the Albuquerque lublic Schools cafeterias for the week of Feb. 20 24 follows: Monday: Closed for Washington's Birthday. Tuesday: Com dog or hot dog. baked beans, pickles, chilled fruit, cookie. Wednesday: HcalthNet Menu: Tuna salad on croissant, potatoes with skin, peanut butter cup, apple wedges.

Thursday: Oven fried chicken, whipped potatoes, gravy, salad, roll, frozen juice dessert. Friday: Enchiladas, shredded lettuce, pinto beans, corn bread, orange smites. done or unforeseen side effects still to come? First, say some experts, consider whether old hurts are at the root of new problems that seem to come out of the blue. Joan Hotub, a family counselor, talks of clients with children who, contrary to every expectation, have chosen to not go to college or get married. Knowing that children may be dealing with unresolved reactions to the divorce, however long ago, may help parents put their own role in perspective, llolub says.

"It's not that they've been a bad parent," she says, "but that these kids are really struggling with, coping with, the long terra effects of family breakdown with their own sense of loyalties and commitments, their sense of betrayal." Wallcrstcin points out that children experience divorce in a profoundly different way from adults. "The adult who divorces tries to shut the dnor and go on and create a new life. Many fail; many succeed," Wallcrstcin says. "For the child, the experience is first the failing marriage, then separation, and then the long period in the post-divorce family and it's a continuing experience. For the child, there are no closed doors." "It isn't the divorce per sc," Wallcrstcin says.

"It's what you do in that postJivorce ach Saturday, the Journal ptintt wedding, engagement and annrveraary announcement on thia page. Deadline lot aubmming the ftemt la noon Wednesday tor publication the Saturday following the event. Annovncementt withhftd because limited apace wilt be pubtiahed the foltowing Saturday. For forms or Information call Liz Otero, 823-3922, or write The Albuquerque Journal, P.O. Drawer Albuquerque, N.M., 87103..