FOUR .EVENING TIMES, CUMBERLAND, MD., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1948 Phone 4600 For a WANT AD Taker E vening & Sunday Times tcmoon i«ccpt Sunday I »nd Sunday Mornlns. nt by The Tlm« »nd Allejanlin Company. 1-9 touti) Mechanic SUMS, Cumberland. Md. _ fctM-Ml »t th« Pojtolftce at Cumberland, Md.. M Sscord Cl»sj Us-.Wr. . Member of tne Audit Burenu ol Circulation Mtniber ol th« Associated Press Telephone <600 WMkJy subscription taw bj Curriers: One wees SV«>n!v 30c- Evening Times per copy. 5c; Eve. & sun. «£;•. 4U= "rweck; Sunday Times only. Wo per copy. ISwJ junscriptlon rat« on application. aTaTeaing Times and Sunday Times awirac no Itoan- ji»J-rt»paaslbilltv for typographical errors In advertlie- nenu but will reprint that part of an advertisement In which -the typopaphlcal error occurs. Errors must bo .•eportcd »t once. Friday Afternoon, I>ecember 31, 1948 Bridge By H. T. WEBSTER TriS Coffin £ The New Year THE WORLD stan_ds on the threshold of another year.. A few hours from now and 1948 will have passed' into history while 1949 demands attention. Much.has happened through the year which is so rapidly waning. There is scarcely, a man or woman that .has not been- poignantljy affected by something that has taken place during these twelve months. These events, so often unexpected, have caused drastic changes in the lives of some -and it is safe to say that there is no thinking person- who would not like to be able to turn back the clock and to make changes which would have prevented many of.the things that have happened. But this is impossible. .We cannot undue the past but we can profit by what it has brought to us. We can be more careful during the year that lies ahead and thus 'avoid mistakes which have led to unhappiness, perhaps, in many cases, to misery. WE CAN AND WE should make New Year's resolutions: By this it is not meant ihat we should necessarily set down on paper a list of things we resolve not to do during 1949, together with another list or those we intend to do. But those who are wise will shape up a general "program for themselves, taking their shortcomings into consideraiinon with the resolve to anend them, and likewise ; giving serious consideration to their needs. Unfortunately, New Year's resolutions have come to be regarded as little more than jokes. There may be some basis for this because they" are so -.often 'broken. But they can be "kept if those making them have..the' earnest" desire to better their lives in the future. To form resolutions for the coming year that may be effective one should make a painstaking survey of the past. It will not be difficult to determine what he has "done that could have been avoided and thai has' led to difficulties. . It may not be possible to eradicate the effect of past mistakes as easily as we tear a page off the calendar, but those of, serious purpose can avoid much that is likely to cause' trouble 'during the year that Is ahead. Let those who believe that New Year's resolutions are made only by weaklings, dismiss that thought from mind. To make . such good resolutions properly, surely demands strength and courage and he that succeeds in keeping bis resolutions once they are made, deserves to be rated as something of a hero. r>- ' THE EVENING TIMES refuses to make any predictions for the future. We know that anything is likely to happen and that much will happen. What or how, we know not. But let us revise that first statement Just a little. We do know, and this from the past experience of many years.'that there will be many accidents tonight. Every holiday brings its toll of fatalities, New Year's Eve above all others.' This is because there is too much revelry of the irresponsible sort. This newspaper does not want to b« a kUl joy, but it does feel in duty bound to sound. a warning which has become almost threadbare since the, automobile became the common means of transportation. Alcohol and gasoline will not mix. Those who attempt to drive while under the Influence of liquor take their lives in their hands. AL the same Mmo they menace the lives or others. If you arc bound to spend the last evening of the old year at a '. drinking party; if you intend to glimpse • 1949 for the first time through eyes blurred • with alcohol, then leave your car at home. '. Don't run the risk of starting this year by being the cause of a serious—perhaps a fatal—accident. Take proper precautions • that you may enjoy a happy new year. And • that is what The Evening Times wishes for ' its patrons and friends. A Happy New Year to all. I SUGGEST "THAT WHO- IS DUMMY AT ' l^ND UP A COUPLt IDE/A — IF Forgotten Men C^ THE FORGOTTEN men of football are the guards and tackles, thought Dr. John Outiand of Wichita, Kans., noted Uni- • versity of Pennsylvania player of half a century ago. Having made the All- American team at tackle one year and in the backlield the next, he had a basis for comparison. This conviction was reinforced during his years as athletic director at the University of Kansas, and led him lo establish the Dr. John Outland trophy for the best guard or tackle in the United States. The Football Writers Association. of America has Just awarded this to the Notre Dame captain, William Fischer, who during the season played both tackle and guard. With all the changes in football, the work of the linemen still 'remains hard and unglamorous while the men _in the backfieia do the spectacular playing. Yet the importance o! ihe line was shown by the late Knute Rockne in the days-, of Notre Dame's brilliant backfield, the Four • Horsemen. Sensing that they were getting cocky and did not appreciate the work. of the linemen, the Seven Mules, in open- Ing holes, Rockne took out all. the Mules and let the Horsemen see what they could- do behind third-stringers. They got nowhere, and never again failed in appreciation for the obstacle clearing done by the bulky linemen. Cloture Threat Brings Civil Rights Compromise Offers Henry McLemore's^ The Lighter Side WHEN A MAN'reaches'the age Thomas L. Stokes Labor's Power Results In Change of Goals - WASHINGTON—Latior objectives in this country are undergoing an. evolution that perhaps has been loo little noticed. The change of objectives . stems from labor's greatly increased power, which it is using in the interest of what might be termed "partnership benefits" with both government and private ^industry. Currently the. emphasis is on. security—job security and that broader social -security, that embraces other advantages. * This is made clear in the most recent issue ol Economic Outlook, a C. I, O. publication, which, places equal stress -upon getting contracts with private employers through col- -lective bargaining covering old age, -cickness and unemployment bene- "'.'fits-and upon enactment by Congress of a social-security nvogram such as President Truman espouses. ft, is what the publication culls "two-way drive for social security." . "By keeping up the drive on both fronts "we are more ape to get action," the publication says.."Collective bargaining can obtain benefits which meet the special needs of the workers and union involved over and nbovo the basic level on- nctcd tor everyone." ^ AS A RESULT ol -Chls evolution toward security, It is likely that as much, or more, emphasis will be placed on social security in forth-. coming, contract negotiations as on straight-out wage increases. The change In approach of labor is best Illustrated by contrast with the altitude of only a few years back. Labor was skittish- about covarn- mens-bestowed benefits because o'. fear they would weaken their own organizations. For example. William Green, A. F, of L. president, was skeptical ol' the proposed wage-hour law when it was first broached a decade ago for that reason. Unions, likewise, were suspicious of benefit plans advanced r>y private employers because, as the C. I. O. publication puts it, "often such plans were intended, to tie the workers to the company and keep out unions." There are' no such fears now. There is no delicacy in their approach; but, to the contrary, bold- riess. Power'has given-labor independence 'and authority. FOR INSTANCE, In explaining Ihat if wage and insurance negotiations arc re-opened in the spring, the United Steelworkers intend to press anew upon the' TT. S. Steel Corporation the elaborate social- security plan -they presented a year ago. The Economic Outlook snys, pointedly and significantly: "Since the union was bound by a no»strlke agreement, the mailer could not be successfully concluded at that time." This would indicate that tha union. is so earnest about its social-security plan that it is ready to US3 the strike weapon lo get it, which is, of course, whnl happened in the case of coal several months ago. While the Amalgamated Clothing Workers 20 years ago obtained a plan of employer-financed benefits covering life insurance, disability and hospitalization, progress along this front was slow until. John L. Lewis dramatize-:! .the whole issue again by thexl'l?hf- he ma de—and. won—for a welfare program for his United Mine Workers. He became the pioneer in Ibis revived movement which, the C. I. O publication shows, is again making considerable headway. THE UNITED Automobile Workers has established a special social- security department that numbers among its successes the very generous social-security contract with Kaiser-Frazer.. The Textile Workers of America has' secured insurance provision.-. 1v contracts covering' 75 percent of the union's 450.0CO members. A''- c ' steel is the next objective. Though explaining that the C. I. O. has worked out.no pattern 4 for collective bargaining for social-security plans because o£ the vast variety of situations confronting different affiliated unions, the Economic Outlook says "CIO unions In bargaining 'for social sor.uriiy usually strive (11 to get a definite WASHINGTON—A show of hands reveals that President .Truman's hard boiled civil rights program may be jammed through she Senate as slick as a whistle—and without a talk fest. The Southerner thus far can't scare up enough votes to prevent the gag rule from being adopted, The Southern bloc run by the lieads-up Georgia Senator. Dick Russell, is sure of only 20 votes through thick and thin. Two'South- erners, CliyJde Pepper of Florida and Estes Kefauver of Tennessee, probably won't join a filibuster. And that isn't all! Three Northerners who ' sided with the South against closure are not in the 81st Congress. The new strategy o.' the Southerners is sweet talk of compromise. At leas;' four, Senators have suggested the South would drop the last ditch fight against ^ the civil . rights program, if programs to aid the South, such as increased crop payments broadened rural electrification, higher social security benefits, arc passed first by Congress. THE ANTI •• LYNCH bill is changed to an "anti mob violence", bill to cover labor riots and drunken mob brawls in the North, as well as lynching, senator Bill Fulbright, the earnest your.g Arkansan, has a different iden. He favors making a Federal anti- lynch law inoperative in states with, their own anti-iynch statutes. Fullbright says this would stop lynching and remove the South's fear of being policed by the North. The bill to outlaw the poll tax is made a constitutional amendment. ' Senator Spessai'd Holland of Florida is dead sure It would be ratified bv all but a few states and would satisfy the cry for states' rights. • The Fail- Employment Practices bill Is dropped. Lcs BifTle, the curly haired Senate Secretary, vjal of Mr. Truman and a native Arkaiwan. is listening quietly to these proposals, But he hasn't been able to squeeze out a drop of encouragement. President Truman has his jaw set and-will send Congress a bristling message on civil rights. A sign of the President's feeling is that one of his current favorites in the White House circle is Dave Niles, who dratted Hie original . report that ' raised all the commotion, TWO OLD POLITICAL enemies met in an elevator of the Washington Athletic Club in Seattle a feu- days ago. They were Arthur Langlie, the GOP Governor-elect, and band leader Vic Meyers, the Democrat Lieut-Governor-e;ect. Once before these two astute politicians had shared the State House. • Langllc didn't dare leave the state for fear Vic would take over, reorganize the government and lire all his Republican henchmen. . - • In the elevator, Langlie said soothingly, "Well Vic, I hope you'll be a good boy this time." . Meyers bounced back with, "Judging' from the way the Legislature went Democratic, I think ' you're the one. Governor, who'll have to be a good boy." A NEW YOKK lawyer for the magazine, "Time."- has just discovered what any official in the capital could have told him for free —that red-haired Bob Allen, the 'tough, hard hitting reporter, soldier and lecturer, is a human -buzz saw. In his weekly .radio broadcast, Bob . told a- story on the august magazine .—that the chief of its domestic news bureau left after a hot dispute with owner Henry Luce. Three days later. Time's lawyer, John F. Dowd, sent'Allen a stiff letter full of such words as "therein ... likewise" and asking that, he take back his story. Bob Allen fired back with "both barrells, "It's quite an experience getting a squawk from Time. Somewhat in the category of 'dog bites mar,.' • "Usually the squawks are on the ' other foot—as I can personally testily from painful experience with numerous misstalemenls o!' fact msde In Time about me. It's Interesting to know that you folks, too. are human. I had developed the impression you were sort of omniscient and above human frailties. "It's gratifying to know that you have the capacity to squawk. Naturally, if I erred, I will be more • than happy to correct - it. And I won't .do it in a snotty or snide manner. For. .your information, I obtained my information from a member of Time's- staff—certainly. a reliable and trustworthy source." A sight to behold is Bob Allen tnklng on n stuffed shirt fit a Washington press conference. It is, no sly, creeping'up maneuver, but a head-on full scale attack. His last victim was Henry Grady, the U. S. Ambassador to Greece., ' THE HOUSE Un-American Activities Committee J.ias a strange hex on its members, and one of its newest members young Diet N:xon of California, is uneasy about the "curse." Nixon is arguing with himself and his close friends—should he drop on" the committee? This -wouldn't leave a single veteran Republican •on the committee. . j. Pamell Thomas has been indicted on a charge of defrauding Uncle Sam. Karl Mundt, one of the least active members, is moving over to the Senate, And both John McDowell and Richard Vail were defeated in the election. .'. .. (Olobo Syndicate) . ca-i IAJIA *" '« ---o- . • to stay at home on New. Year s Eve, &_t midnight tonight thousands of .miniature Battles of the Bulge Will be in 'P rogre !?' tl L r ^; out the land as Americans celebrate 0* P«™? of the old year and the coming of the new, I am a scarred veteran of many of tl handedly For the last time I have to Seoul a nest of "Auld Lang Syne" angers. "or the last time have I stubbornly refused aid of medics and carried on until I was. at; those days are Uirough the MIDNIGHT tonight -will find me curled up ta ^ t Srasffha'fdone what I should hav. done several years ago when r started to come to Celebrate »«r George Dixon The Washington Scene Peter Edson •adley Tells What World War IV Will Be WASHINGTON—About this time of the year, the more profound of amount contributed by tliQ.^mploy- ; my colleagues struggle from the nest : •' where they'hav'e.been hatching out a setting' of eggnog, and do an extremely high-toned review of the year. ' They review the important events and give a labored analysis of same. This enables them t;o take a bow for predictions which turned out right, and to blandly ignore those that didn't. , Inasmuch as I do not wish to be too radically different from niy fellows I am going to do a review of my own. Herewith, Dixon's Review er; (2) to have 'the 1 money pui, into a 'trust fund, so it connot .be used for any purpose other than, social- security benefits, and (3) to obtain nn equal vojce in developing and operating the program." (UnlLocI Fcuturc SynrilcnLr. Inc.) WASHINGTON— (NBA) — Army Chief/of Staff Gen. Omar Bradley recently got involved in a discussion with the big shots of a mid-western city, where he was making a speech. The group was arguing about future wars and how they would be fought. One of the men said: "General, the newspapers tell us that World War III will be fought with atomic bombs, supersonic planes and-a lot of new -weapons. These arc great strides, but how about World War IV? Is it possible to get any newer or fancier weapons.than these?" "I can give you the exact answer to that question," said General Bradley. "If we have World.War III, then World War IV will be fought •with bows and arrows." , THE POWERFUL American LCK- lon lobby l;i prepui'liiK for two blft lights before the next Congress. The first is a budget baftle. over probable drastic CUM in Veterans' Administration appropriations. There has been some indication that VA might be pared to provide mere money for the Armed Services. The second light, which is already out in the open, concerns ex-President Herbert Hoover's Reorganization Commission recommendation that al'l government hospitals be put under one administration. If this recommendation were put through, It would probably mean thill only veterans wounded or afflicted while In service could get medical attention in government hospitals. At present almost' any veteran can get into a VA hospital, whether his trouble comes from service-connected illness or not. . A GROUP OF Junior Army. Navy and Air Force officers in the Pentagon have organized a new 'club known as "The Young Braves." Members nre mostly aides arid assistants to the tdp brass. -Idea for the new club grew out of a distaste for the -feuding now- going on in the unified defense set-up. Club members have spent a lot of off-hour time trying to dope out what's wrong with the armed services. As they sec it, the U. S. is already Involved in World War III. ' It's the cold war of the bankers, politicians and theorists. If actual fighting should break out, they'd call that World War IV. The Young Braves' plan for lighting would call for an entirely new concept of a strictly air army, far beyond the present role of airborne troops. They would be completely supplied by air and by ship. The Navy would also be called on to furnish tactical support for wound nshtlnn from the clocks of curriers. The way the Young Braves have it doped out, they'll have to wait until they get in the saddle before any of their Ideas can be put into practice. MOST 'IMPORTANT appointment •which President Trumr.n must make ir. the immediate future is to the United Nations^Palestine Conciliation Commission. By action of the UN General Assembly at Paris, a three-nation , commission was created to try to 11 nd n pcacei'ul solution for l.he Palestine problem. The United States, France and Turkey were named to the Commission. The two European countries are 1 apparently waiting for the United States to name its delegate first. A list; of names i'.ns been sen!, lo President Truman "'or consideration, but he'has as yet made no choice. Finding the right man -may be difficult. ' ' He must be of outstanding; character and reputation, completely unbiased on the Palestine issue, yet able to win the confidence of both. %Jews and Arabs. Not only peace in Palestine, but stability and future economic development of the whole Middle Hast are at stake on the outcome of the-r Conciliation Commission's work. of 1S48: HERE'S A HYPOTHETICAL question which United Nations experts are debating: If the Chinese Communists drive, out Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalist- government and take over control of China, the .Commies will pick their delegates to the United Nations, 1C the Chinese Communists Join Iht: R'.iKsinn bloc, it would K'VC tho Comnuinlsis two of the (Ivc permanent seats on the Security Council. Then if France should eventually go Communist the Russians would control three of the Big- Five seats. Imagine what the situation would be If that process repeated a few more times so that Communist countries would have a majority of the •seats on the 11-nation Security Council, ' Question: Should the United States do away with or limit use'of the veto power, as long as that outcome remains a possibility? Cochratfs Barbs It always pays to be ir. good standing, snys a judge. Likely bc- criu.se you're s!ll!np; pretty. History From The Times Files Racketeers bombed a beauty shop in an Arizona town. They have their own ideas as to how to lift faces. ' TEN YEARS AGO December 31, 1938 Seven-year-old Norman Miller, son of Mr.. and, Mrs. David N. Miller, Mary Street, led his sister, Leonn, 4, lo safely when fire broke out In their home. Douglas Dawson, 14, Oldtown Road, and W illlam Gannon, 18, Barton, hurt in coasting mishaps. Death Charles Boettcher, 57, near Carlos. It was Ihe centennial of the,birth of James Ryder .Randnil, composer of "Maryland, My Maryland," THIRTY YEARS AGO December 31, 1018 City Council held a "freeze" session due to failure of heat in build- x ing. Deaths Andrew Morton. 78, Lonn- coning; James Morgan, formerly of Midland, at Washington. Andrew Hamburg, this city, a Kelly-Springfield Tire Company worker, seriously Injured by a power shovel bucket. Women arc wearing skirts Ion err —and if prices stay up there, they'll be wearing them longer than they "expect. • The more kids' shoes are worn out the quicker. The motorist who :s set on beating the car ahead of him to the curve usually sets his rites. JANUARY.- Few politicians go .to Miami and other winter resorts. They decide to stay on the Job, repairing their -political fences as much as possible. Rep. Fred Hartley, of Taft- Hartlcy fame, beats the electors to it by announcing he is through on Capitol Hill. Congressman pestered with-de-_ mands to redeem Confederate money. Society Girl Louise Gore says of faithless swain: "And to think I gave him the best days . of last week!" FEBRUARY: The Soviet embassy provides itself with red limousine. House Speaker Joe Martin net* l.cniKHO twisted l:i njcoKnlKlnK Sam Rnyburn o: 1 Texius (who Is rjow about to succeed him). Says Speaker Joe: "The chair recognizes the gentleman from Rayburn." Mrs. Snyder reveals that, despite his exalted station, the Secretary of the Treasury,still takes a bath. Senator Ed Moore, the rcUrlnp multi-millionaire oil tycoon from Oklahoma, gets frozen up. He couldn't get oil for his home. Embarrassing question' is raised: How about doing something to protect the rights of our majority groups? ... X-rays reveal that Attorney General Tom Clark was going aroytnd with lead shot in his anatomy. His only explanation was that he must have swallowed the shot with some qunil he wolfed at the White House. The Air Force considers, but not for lonK. n suggestion to use feathers for inslijnla on new uniforms. Democratic tycoons beef loudly at having to pay $100 a plate at Jefferson-Jackson -dinner. Many have since decided it was a good investment. Sherman' Billingsley continues to use name of Bird for his New York nlsht club. Blrl decides not to sue for plagiarism. APRIL: Mr. Walter Trohan,. the eccentric journalist, interviews Win- ston'Churchill's little'boy Randolph, on radio. For the p're-broadcast-voice, test Mr. Tror.an undiplomatically recites: "Fe-Fi-Po-Fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman." Former Secretary of War Patrick J. Hurley finds a long lost brother. It was a good thing he found something to console him because he subsequently lost out as Senator from New Mexico. - Adolphe Menjou of the movies slips up on a prediction. He prophesied men would again be wearing derby hats. Republican gag that time rendered sour: "The White House balcony is strong enough" to hold an elephant." Mrs. Perle Mesta, our big -party thrower, walks out on Lady Astor when latter makes snide cracks against American women. District of Columbia Judje George D. Neilson sympathetically frees woman who runs through red -traffic light, when she explains:."I was overwrought-'because I had just had to pay 72 cents at lunch for asparagus." • ••-.-•• (Kin£ Feittun-s, Inc.)' . So They Say . Millions alone are monotonous. —Pow.;l Crosky. Jr.. multimillionaire: nulo n in leer. a oxy 2 1 d yoffolhsmy age or thereabouts could do a lot worse, than do the same/ . My proxy is a ten-year-old- boy, who never. has stayed up as late as midnight but one or wo times in his life and is looking forward to doing IC ^nTsays it won't tire him a, lick- and "Jiat even if 'he stays up until three or .four heU.bft up at eight, bouncing- -with health' and ready to ride his bicycle ten or fifteen. miles. .->• With' the money Tarn paying my New Yean -• Eve "sitter" he is going to give a- party. He has arranged to have a gallon of, ic« cream, a case of pop, and a lot of noise makers. THE MORE I THINK of it. the more I believe that New' Year's Eve should be celebrated solely by .youngsters. , - _ . ' They would do it sensibly and be able to get up New Year's morning glad to see the new year. As it is now, with the chief celebrating being done- by adults, it leaves only 364 days' in ft year for a. vast section' of our population. ;' -,New Year's Day is a complete loss or, even worse a day spent in trying to act as ifone lelt one were really a member of the human race only 3G4 days in a year. •. ' - • -;Of course, I realize the risk. I am running in going to bed early New Year's Eve. Not having done this since I was a kid, I am sure my old dinner jacket will. jump out'of.nht closet of its own accord and' go- out on the town. I wonder if it's possible to arrest- a man'* 1 dinner jacket for disorderly conduct even '*•&« isn't in it. ' ..... ' I'll have to look into that. .'. . .. . Tarn going to the 'Gator Bowl game between Missouri and Clemson on New Year's. Day, "and, . believe me, it's going to bt. a. novelty to see 'only 22 players oil the field at one time. ' :,. * • I 'bet I'll have to get somebody .to explain ; that sort of New Year's Day football game to'jmo. (Distributed by KcNmight. Syndicate, Inc.) Hal BoylJt , ; AP Reporter's Notebook • • NEW YORK—"Oh, boy," chirped- Wilbur Peeble as he rolled out of bed, "this is. the night —New Year's Eve!" '.•''.'/ ':"'.;. •- --"That's right, my little guinea pig,".said his wife, "and this, is going' to be one we'll .t»0k remember for a long, long time." ..- ™ Something in her-tone disturbed her,.hus-, bund. ' After he had showered and_they -wcr« »t the breakfast table, he said cautiously:-; .... • ."Trellis Mae, what.did you mean Isyjthat 'little guinea pig'remark?" '." .' ".".'.. '.." His wife carefully put her toast down on the butter plate and fixed her eyes on the ceiling. From this Wilbur knew by long experience that his cars were In for considerable verbal punishment. He was right, ' ;.-.' "Well," said Trellis Mae, in a tone of ancient wrong," "I have been the guinea'pig in : this family every New Year's Eve since "we were married. '."You have been the life of every party .we've gone to. I have been a kind of'pilot model to - see how much a wife can put up with ^a a time without losing her mind." • The American people will be making an awful mistake—n mistake for which the whole world.will suffer—if they abandon the Chinese people now in China's hour of need. —Korean President Svngmaii Rhee. What the country .needs is not something alternately to quiet its nerves or hop the people up. More solid information and less bedside manner and few. sedatives would" suit the situation :md the American temperament better. —David E. Lllienthal, chairman;-; - Atomic Enerery Corimission. .... . Now that they've named'' tl'ie'baby.'. Prince Ch?r!cs. T suppose •! am "Charley's Aunt." . —Princess Marsnret.Ro.se of Kng- lund. TWENTY YEARS AGO December 31, 1028 Despite prohibition newspapers said cities were well supplied with alcoholic beverages for the New Year's celebration. ' , Five persons -hurt whe/i cars, driven by William Petbrman and John W. Ricienbaugh, this city, collided. Death Mrs. Eli7.ii McMulicn, 67, Moscow. . FORTY YEARS AGO December 31, 1908 Joseph McGinnis, Elk Garden, W. Va., killed by a Western Maryland Railway train at Harrison Station. Deaths Mrs. Margaret Reese, 75, Frostburg; Nathan Brooks, this city. William Smouse, 47, former B. and O. engineman, struck and killed by a train at- Deer Park. Joseph W. Hcndrickson and Maude F, Fadely were married, I'm a character. No. wonder I'm popular. People keep inviting me back to their parties because they can't believe it's true. MARCH: Mrs. Roy St. Lewis, wife of the former assistant attorney general snys G.O.P. can dance to vlctor-v with a thing called "The Re-publican Glide," "Draft Elsenhower" movement started all over again. Thrifty congressman, espousing presidential aspirations of Senator Robert Tnft, digs up old Taft buttons used in 1908'campnign of William Howard Taft. Comedians Joe E. Lewis and Bert Wheeler wire me from New Orleans: We are .forgotten men in a land of plenty. We are prisoners in the land of our birth. —Robert Yellowtnil, Montana Crow Indian lend"i-. The problem of Palestine is well on the way to final solution. The Jewish state is firmly established and the immigration problem also ' is well on the way to solution, — Dr. Ralph Bunchc. acting ON Palestine mediator. If Congress should pass a law compelling me to dig a ditch for the Internal Revenue Department and, adding insult to injury, compel me to buy the shovel .with which to dig, I doubt if (they) would enforce' the law. Under our Constitution r.here is absolutely no difference between People criticized my father for being stubborn. They said he was so stubborn he wouldn't take _ advice from anyone. Now I notice "that if you "breed a white-faced bull lo a white-faced cow, you get-a white- faced calf. Men with matrimony in mind look at a woman's nose before they look at her eyes or legs. "Hello George, we've been reading -forcing me to buy a'shovel and dig your column. What's new?" A publication tries to kill off famous Detective Ray Schindler, referring to him as "Ihe late." Mr. Schindler tries to get his demise verified. Governor Dewey. tells this interviewer that a cand'dabe gains little ' by campaigning. Mr. Dcwcy, it should b" noted, was speaking only for himself- a ditch, and forcing me to collect taxes, and to rjay for collecting them. —Vivien Ke'.lems, Connecticut industrialist. When he (George Bernard Shawl was asked if he feared death, he replied: "Not in the least; I have good friends on both sides." So have I. —Jean Sibelius, Finnish composer. N "AM I THAT bad?" murmured Wilbur.-' • "Worse.. -Every other family.I know'goes calling on New Year's Day. But- us—never^We get in at. dawn, and you're all ••worn out from- making a fool of yourself. . You pull the bed covers over your head, and you don't get-up again until dusk. • . - ; . '-.«-• ."Honey, you • know how I feel then," cajoled her husband, seeking a crumb of sympathy.""It takes me. a long time .to get over ' a 'hangover." "Too-long, my little guinea pig," she"eaid ; ominously. ' . . '_.;.••. "I don't get this 'little g-uinea pig' business," said 'Wilbur, nettled. ' Trellis! Mae walked over, took him by the'ear nnd led him out to the kitchen. She pointed to .1 row of bottles and gadgets carefully"-laid out on the dniinliiR board. "Those are for the experiment I've got f?t for tomorrow morning," she said.. "And you're to be the little guinea pig.". ''..'• "What experiment?" "To see if it isn't possible to turn a liumari mouse back into a man by noon of New Year's Day," • ' "I still don't get it." "WELL,"" SAID Trellis Mae, "you will. -I'm tired-of having you lie in bed moaning all <3ay ; on .holidays. I've read up on every cure for « hangover ever tried, . And tomorrow morning you're going to get them all—one after the other, .,until I .get you on your feet, dead OT alive." - • - "Our-doctor is coming by at 8 o'clock sharp tomorrow, morning. ' ' .... "He Is going to-pump out your stomach .first tiling. Then he will give you an infusion of . swum and some vitamin shots.' After that-you take a tepid bath." . ' •?, " "And then—?" said Wilbur weakly. ;• "And. then we go on to the second hall" 'ol the experiment. First you'drink a raw-egg flavored with Worcestershire and Tabasco sauce. Next comes a bottle of flat beer. 'Thcn'aicup. of boiling hot tea, followed by-two cups of.ice cold coffee. ' " •; "And then, of course, we'll'try a hair. the dog thai bit you. I haven't decided-'. whether that will consist of half a tumbler of whisky taken neat, a chocolate malt flavored with sherry, or just a plain glass of sour cream mixed with gin." WILBUR GULPED and paled; "'. "But what is that dish of cold pork gravy, and corn flakes doing on the drainboard?" h« , asked. "I'm glad you asked that," said Trellis Mae. "That;s the acid test. When you can eat half a plate of that, I'll know it's time to end the treatment."- . - -. ' -.7 Wilbur .knew his wife. Silently, he walked to the closet, put on his coat and hat, and-'.lert' for the office—his holiday mood all gone, •'.'.-. . And Trellis Mae knew her husband. Sh'e went to the drainboard and put away all 'the bottles and gadgets. , "I don't think," she 'said to herself gaily,' "that I'll need these at all. tomorrow—HOT" (Associated Press/ "''"
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