The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on January 23, 1996 · Page 10
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 10

Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Tuesday, January 23, 1996
Page 10
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AID TUBgDAY, JANUARY 23, 1996 LIFE THE SALINA JOURNAL Fighting over Fi tit Custody of pets wrenching By MICHAEL LOLLAR Scripps Howard News Service As husband and wife, Dennis Zanone and Cindy Pace had shared some of the duties of his photography business, and, even after their divorce, she continued to help out. "It's a very amicable divorce," says Zanone. Most of the details were worked out ahead of time so that Pace, a project coordinator in information and marketing services at International Paper Co. in Memphis, Tenn., was able to act as her own attorney. The only sticking point came as Pace was ready to leave at the end of the four-year marriage. "Dennis asked me, 'Are you taking Katie?' When I said yes, he said, 'Well, who am I going to talk to all week?'" Katie, despite her floppy ears and a cute button nose, had no choice in the matter. Under the law, the 14y 2 -year-old Shih-Tzu was little more than "personalty," like a stove or dishwasher. Just one more family asset. But the dog's fate in the divorce and the family's concerns have become more and more important in modern America, says veterinarian and animal behavior counselor Tammy Wright. While judges seldom decide pet custody cases, they have been forced to mediate bitter disputes, such as a Pulaski, Term., case in which the judge imposed joint custody for a dog that had grown up attending a wife's Bible study classes and riding a husband's motorcycle. "In today's society, where we are less community-oriented, what's important is our families and pets. Things going on with our pets are much more crucial than 20 years ago. Pets are now a member of the family rather than an appendage," says Wright. "I like for her to wear this pretty red sweater, and he likes for her to wear an argyle." Cindy Pace She has joint custody of her Shih-Tzu Pace says her former husband jokes that he wanted Katie, the Shih-Tzu, because he really needed "a bossy female around." But both agree that Katie had been like an only child. She was given to Pace by a former roommate before Zanone and she were married. But, during the marriage, Katie became attached to both. She slept with them, ate with them, rode in the car with them. "When he goes to the drive-in bank, the tellers are so used to seeing Katie they give her a dog biscuit as Dennis drives away," says Pace. Their solution was joint custody. Since their divorce in 1991, Zanone has kept Katie during the week, when Pace occasionally has to go out of town on business. She gets Katie on weekends. For Katie, who may or may not understand divorce, joint custody means a change not only in scenery but in wardrobe. "I like for her to wear this pretty red sweater, and he likes for her to wear an argyle," says Pace. Her tone sounds less amicable as she also recalls that Zanone "would always want to feed her french fries and Frosties from Wendy's. I give her normal food. And Dennis always wanted her to have pink bows in her hair when she was groomed. I didn't care what color they were." Since he has her most of the time, Zanone describes himself as the "primary custodial parent," although custody was worked out without resorting to a separate legal document. And that's the way most lawyers and judges prefer it. "Generally speaking, people have got enough sense to resolve that issue before it gets to court. I tell them I don't want to get involved with their dogs and cats," says Memphis Circuit Court Judge Wyeth Chandler. Horse of a different color Animals that aren't pets are a different story. "As attorneys, we've all seen cases involving a prize heifer or a Walking Horse. But those are not pets. I've seen Walking Horses go for $250,000 before, and I've known people to pay close to $50,000 for children to ride jumpers," says lawyer David Caywood. Those animals are treated as marital assets with settlements made in trade-offs for. other property or with animals sold and proceeds distributed. For the average pet, it's likely to be resolved before it gets to court, says lawyer James F. Arthur III. Since the husband and wife usually resolve it before the divorce, he says there aren't enough examples to discern a pattern in who gets the pets. But usually the pets are the children's pets, so the pets would normally go with the children. Because wives, historically, have usually become custodians of the children, the pets also tend to end up with the wife. When Chandler hears of pet disputes, he's sometimes tempted to "pull a Solomon and say, 'We'll just split him or send him to the pound and see who else wants him."' T PARENTING T DAY CARE Teach youngsters how to wash hands Lessohs in values may last lifetime| LINDA LEWIS GRIFFITH Scripps Howard News Service Children model behavior of foremost •teachers — parents Values are worthwhile principles, qualities or standards of behavior that we demonstrate in our daily lives. They include such laudable characteristics as honesty, compassion, commitment, helpfulness, kindness and fortitude. Parents can instill sound values in their children by practicing the following guidelines: • Emphasize values in your home: Place the development of good character above such competing factors as top grades or athletic prowess. While success is important, it must never be attained by the use of cheating,. bad manners or aggression toward others. Discuss appropriate conduct with your youngsters, and remove them promptly from situations where they are not behaving properly. • Start early: It's never too early to start teaching tots about values. Ongoing, gentle instructions, such as, "Pet the kitty nicely," and "We need to return this dollar. It's not ours," mold youngsters' beliefs and actions, and provide the groundwork for future behaviors. • Model values for your children: Parents are their kids' foremost teachers. Their daily interactions with loved ones, friends and business associates instruct children how to behave in similar situations. Moms and dads who are honest, hard-working, fair and trustworthy display those characteristics for their offspring, in- .creasing the likelihood the youngsters will develop the same values. • Discuss values as a family: Make values a common topic of conversation in your home. Talk about sharing with your toddler, or staying away from alcohol with your teen. Avoid lectures or lengthy discourses. Instead, look for moments around the dinner table, driving in the car or tucking in at bedtime to talk and listen to your child. • Select books or movies portraying values with your youngsters: Wonderful books and Children should wash their hands, and parents should teach them how. Use the same matter-of- fact, no-nonsense approach used in toilet training, and a child can usually learn within a week. Once a child learns how, he will do it properly, es- & pecially if he knows his hands are inspected and he will be sent back to rewash when he sticks, children are probably not washing at all. In bathrooms where the lights are kept off, some kids will not go into a dark place. Here are some basic rules for washing children's hands: • Water must run into a drain. Don't use bowls, buckets, bird- JUDY LYDEN Scripps Howard News Service * baths or "charming" dry sinks; they invite the spread of serious illnesses. • Soap should be anti-bacterial and liquid. • Use disposable towels. Cloth towels can spread serious illnesses — hepatitis A and hepatitis B. misses the backs or between his fingers. That is hard to do in a day care where there are many children. But just sending a child to the bathroom doesn't guarantee anything: it's crucial, for the sake of everyone's health, for parents and providers to enforce by inspection every child's washing of hands after he goes to the toilet and before he eats. But make it easy on the children. Pretend you are a kid again for five minutes: Kneel down in front of sink and use two fingers to turn on the water. If the faucet THEATRES For MOVIE Selections and SHOWTIMES Call: 825-9105 Half Price CLEARANCE . Fall& Winter Off • Merchandise All winter coats, dresses, sportswear, sleepwear and accessories are now half price! Misses, petite, women's and half sizes. *No other discounts apply. Clearance price marked in red. Ttaza Sty fa Shop Open MOM. S.ii. ') to S ONE WEEK ONLY! Purchase Any Fall or Winter Item at Regular Price and get 2nd item for... * '2nd Item equal or lesser value Entire Stock of Fall & Winter •Dress Slacks • Trench Coats. •Long Sleeve • Sport Coats Sport Shirts • Big & Tall • Sweaters INCLUDED! Sale Starts Today larol One Week Only 110 S. Sante Fe • Downtown It's Worth The Trip. videos abound that shbw charfic-" ; ters displaying courage, wisdp'm'.' and determination. For example,' "Herman the Helper" and "Amas!-' ing Grace" are great books ftfi 1 ' younger children, while "Las^je Come Home" or the Value Tale s6- ries are right for older kids. Super video picks are "Stand and Deli^ er" and "The Long Walk Home.'^'; • Minimize exposure to vitf- lent or otherwise valueless meF-"' dia: Avoid activities such as vidfcsb" games or inappropriate movies' that glorify violence and aggros- sion. While you can't completely^ prevent kids from being arouAd; them, you can take a stance on buying them or having them |n your home. • Note people in the community who display good value's": Point out neighbors or local leafl- ers who are caring or motivated. For example, you might say, "Th'at family has worked hard to fix up their house," or "Mr. Jeffries spends a lot of time with his' youngsters." You'll be demonstrating your commitment to good character while highlighting role models for your youngsters to fol- '. low. \-\ • Praise values in your children: Learning values isn't easy. ^ It requires dedication and constant vigilance to avoid slipping into easier modes of behavipr. '. Support your youngsters' air.' tempts to be good citizens and. family members. Acclaim their If-' forts and successes. Help thejn.. learn from their missteps an,d. shortcomings. Our unending ef- . forts provide children with necessary guidance while letting them, know we're with them all the way^.' • Be patient: Values aren'ii learned overnight. They take .a lifetime to become incorporated into children's behavior. Don't be: , come frustrated by immature ac-. tions. And avoid overreacting r to ~kids' mistakes. Good values arenJt ! meant to signify perfectio'n.'' Rather, they're an indication of.a, personal commitment to being the ! best person your youngster can-, be. '•;;.' Linda Lewis Griffith is a mar- . riage and family counselor. " , , We Service All Makes of Sewing Machines and Vacuums Midwest Sewing & Vacuum 34O S. Broadway 825-0451 A daughter, Lexi Lea, was born Jan. 4 to John and Lori Naegele of Gardner. Grandparents are Dwayne and Twila Scott of Wathena and John and Jean Naegele of Hays. Great-grandparents are Mabel Kennedy of Oberlin, Lewis Naegele of Lucas and Leonard and Florence Schruben of Manhattan. • •• A son, Trevor David, was born Jan. 8 to Dr. Brian and Brenda Andresen of Overland Park. The mother is a former Salinan. Grandparents are Bea Shepek of Salina; Alvin and Marie Shepek of Conroy, Texas, Susan and Ken Rager of Denver, Colo., and Don and Hiliary Andresen of Prescott, Ariz. Great-grandparents are Elsie Totten of Beatrice, Neb., Amelia Shepek of Belleville and George and Mary Jane Smith of Denver. MAURE WEIGH Auto - Home Insurance Phone 827-2906 115 East iron Mon.-Sat. 9:00-5:30, Thurs. 'til 8:00, Sun. 1:00-4:00 . Advertisement HEARING TESTS ; : SET FOR SALINA SALINA - Electronic hearing tests will be given at the Beltone Hearing Aid Service office from 9 am to 5 pm owv- Monday & Tuesday, January 22 &23. ••; A factory-trained Hearing Aid Specialist will be at our Office ' at 234 South Santa Fe, Salinf" to perform the tests. AnyorSc: who has trouble hearing is well' • come to have a test usfng out: :: modern electronic equipment" to determine if his loss is one'' which may be helped. Some of'; the causes of hearing loss wlHl- be explained and diagrams of ' how the ear works will tie' shown. Everyone should have a hearing test a least once a yearif' there is any trouble at all hearing clearly. Even people now wearing a hearing aid or those who have been told nothing could be done for them should have a hearing test and find out whether the modern method of hearing correctibn can help them hear better. The free hearing test will be •" given Monday & Tuesday at 234 South Santa Fe, Sallnjf Call for an appointment to ' avoid waiting. If you can't get there during our scheduled times, call (913) 827-8911 aifif' arrange for an appointment & another time. In-home testind is available. ;"• '.'P* f HEARING^,' AID •SERVICE- Better Hearing Through Professional Caret.-' 234 S. Santa Fe 1 -800-4484)21 5 or 827-8911

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