Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland on December 8, 1948 · Page 4
Get access to this page with a Free Trial

Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland · Page 4

Cumberland, Maryland
Issue Date:
Wednesday, December 8, 1948
Page 4
Start Free Trial

FOUR EVENING TIMES, CUMBERLAND, MD., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8, 19J8 Phone 4GOO for a WANT AD Taker Evening & Sunday Times The Unseen Audience Bv II. T. WEBSTER Trig CofHll Every Afternoon (except SuntJayi and Sunday Morning. Published by The Times and Ailecnninn Company, 7-8 South Mechanic Strcei. Cumberland. Md, Bantered at the Pastolflce at Cumberiiuid, Md., an Second Cluflh Mutter, Momfonr of tho Allillt Ittirnnti <jr Clroulntlnn Mmnlifir uT tlin Afijmi;lnl,ijtl I'rpnn Weekly subscription rule D.y Cnrrlera: One week Evu. only, 'JOc; Evening I'linca per copy, be; Eve. & Butt, Times. 40c PCI week: Sunday Timea only, !0c per copy. Mull subscription rates on application. The Evcnlnc Tlmcj ana Sunday Times ftisurao oo fmnn- el»l responslbllltv foi typocraphlcal errors in advertisements but will reprint that port 01 an advertisement In which the typoeraphlcal error occuri. Errors must be reported a: once. Wednesday Afternoon, December 8, 1948 OUR COUNTRY TVic union of hearts, iftc union of hands and the Flay ol our Union forcytr — Morris, Speaking Of Probijig WHILE THE Whittaker Chambers- Alger Hiss investigation continues—as it apparently is going to—a side investigation of the Justice Department might be in, order. On Dec. 1 officials of the department gavf; out a statement that they still had possible perjury charges against cither of these men "under study," but that there would be no use in going to a grand jury with the evidence they had at present. That evidence, they said, failed to show •which one, if either, way lying. "If either," mind you, after Mr. Chambers had sworn that Mr. Hiss was a prewar Communist agent in Washiegwn, and Mr. Hiss had sworn that he wasn't. Also on Dec. 1, two Washington reporters came out with stories that new and important evidence in the Hiss-Chambers case had been discovered, other newspapermen took up his lead and found that there were, to put it mildly, some contradictory ideas among the attorney general's help about the quality of the evidence at hand. FRlBBlSH? YOuR THIS LEARNED Ti-|/rr WAS If^i 3"/Mt_ r~Of=; SMOPUl-T/MG VAMS STRUCK 6V <4 ANY HOUR LATER y AAJD WAY tb ~1HE HOS PIT/A U W/\LL€"~T. WOMD£RF(JL WAIT TILL. SEE G£OR.GE /H4D£ FUNJ OF SOAP Ll5T£N~To. HE SAYS NOT Thomas L. Stokes People Demand More Responsive Congress ASSISTANT ATTOENEY General Campbell, in charge of the department's criminal division, told a New York Herald Tribune reporter that he just couldn't comment on stories that depositions had been taken nor new documents produced because the Chamhers-Hlss case was "too hot." Another reporter from the same newspaper got Mr. Chambers, his attorney, and an attorney for Mr. Hiss on the phone and asked each the same five questions regard- Ing the reported depositions, what they had contained, and what had been done with them. All three refused to answer any ol the questions. We can conceive of an investigation of alleged Communist activity in government as being "too hot" for preliminary disclosures before the investigation was complete. But we cannot see why a Justice Department attorney should re- _ fuse to confirm or deny that depositions had been taken in the Chambers-Hiss libel suit which might have some bearing on his department's perjury inquiry. WASHINGTON — The forthcoming 81st Congress • will be under closer scrutiny by the public than any other in a long time, if ever, it is becoming manifest already a month ahead of its meeting. This is due primarily, of course, to President Truman who, for purposes of the job he did during the campaign on Congress, might lie referred to as "Professor Truman." For he went beyond his political role as a candidate, in which he denounced the last Congress—the Republican BOlh—for purposes of getting elected, and supplemented this with a clear exposition of the processes of Congress to show how the will of the people is flouted by maneuvers and procedures which the public previously had not properly appreciated. It was or.e of the most effective educational jobs ever done in this country in the brief space of a few weeks. employed in Congress after it gets before it the social welfare and civil rights program pledged by the President. The public has become aware of dodges, subterfuges and bottlenecks that previously were of concern largely to students of the technical procedures of Congress. The Senate filibuster, which occasionally provided amusing or disgusting reading in the newspapers depicting a bunch ol politicians talking endlessly about anything under the sun—and often nothing- is no longer funny or trivial to many people. It has taken on serious significance now with the renewed drive for a civil rights program and the realization expressed in letters that unless something is done to curb these talkathons nothing will be done about that program. They arc discovering. 100, ihe real meaning of the coalition between conservative Republicans and Southern Democrats, the latter the joint produce of the one-party system in thc South and the seniority system, that has raised a successful blockade, entirely apart from the party and platform pledges, against all sociai welfare legislation since 1938—ten long years. Above ail, they are setting very curious about thc lobbies that President Truman singled out in his campaign and hope they'll be investigated, as he has recommended. Emphasis on big business lobbies has provoked counter-agitation for investigation also of farm and labor lobbies. AND WE CERTAINLY cannot understand why some department members should imply, in a statement to the press, that this inquiry was about to die for lack of evidence while, on the same day, others were telling the press that the whole thing was "too hot" to discuss. Some people in the department apparently would like the public to forget the whole thing, while others would like to keep the public in the dark. But this is the public's business. And it is scarcely within the province of the Justice Department, which is legal representative of the whole people's government, to cover up for anybody. The department's concern is with justice, not with whose toes get stepped on. This contradiction should be cleared up. Meanwhile the public has reason to be grateful to the representatives of a press that is enterprising as well as free for uncovering what looks at the moment like a rather unpreUy situation. THIS WAS APPARENT in the election result, itself, in the first instance. But how really successful it was, how he stirred up the people to try to find out how things happen in Congress, has been proved to this reporter by mall from citizens all over the country since the election. They reveal a very healthy curiosity and interest and urge insistently that something be done to make Congress more responsible to the public at large. An underlying and gr.awing fear expressed is that in some way the election may be "stolcr." or nullified by devious tricks and devices PEOPLE ARE LEARNING, too, about that privileged oligarchy, the House Rules Committee, and how by arrogating legislative powers to itself, it has killed off legislation by tucking it away in a pigeonhole, including the Housing bill of the last Congress. They are finding out how a very few men have become very powerful, and with no by-your-leave from the voters. They are waking -jp to the significance of thc seniority system and. how it brings to the head of committees elderly members who look often to the past, "moss-backs," President Truman called them, and who block needed legislation by their influence. PRESIDENT TRUMAN added to his own job and that of his party by his stress on Congress. For the public will be watching very carefully and will hold him and his party responsible if his program is sidetracked or bottled tip, and. this enhances the need for him and his party leaders to get through necessary reforms to make Congress a more democratic body reflecting: more accurately the dc- iires of the people. It would be very healthy, too, iC this present curiosity would capitalize itself by study in schools and colleges and by groups of all sorts, men and women, so that public pressure would be brought to bear on Congress. This is, after pJ.l, R. job for the people themselves. (United Feature Syndicate, Inc.) Peter Edson Venezuela "Less Unique" Since Revolution Hoiv Much Food? THE DEPABTMENT of Agriculture has arrived at its food production goals for the coming year. In announcing its estimates of future needs, the Department said that the record-breaking crops of this year gave the country 14 per cent more food than in the years 1935 to 1939. If'this is an accurate estimate of total supply, American Individuals probably have less food available from the 1948 crop than in a pre-war j'ear. A gain of 14 per cent in food production probably is not enough even to compensate for the rise in population hi the same years. The Census Bureau estimated that the population increased slightly less than 14 per cent from 1940 to 1945. The rate of growth since 1945 certainly has not been materially less than in the war years. Thus it makes good sense that the Department of Agriculture should recommend greater production next year of most food crops. Exceptions are potatoes, supply of which for more than a year has exceeded demand at the supported market price, wheat and eggs, among basic foods. A market excess of wheat is expected from this year's crop, and a market excess of eggs has existed previously. What are called excess supplies of any food are only the result of market conditions. The face is that in this period of the highest prosperity the country has ever known the food buying of most American families still is restricted by the limits of their budgets. The average American housewife does not have enough money to buy as much food as she would like to offer her family. Until she does, it can never be said that enough •~oo4 has been produced. Nor does this ake any account of food lacks among other WASHINGTON — (NEA) — The current issue of U. S. Foreign Commerce Weekly went to press a day or so before, the revolution broke out in Venezuela, and that explains why the leading article wasn't killed. Its title was "Venezuela's Economic Position Almost Unique Today." Revolution or no revolution, the facts in the article still stand up. Northernmost of the South American republics, Venezuela is only slightly larger than Texas and 4,000,000 population as against 6,000,000 for Texas. What makes Venezuela "almost unique" is that the country doesn't •want to borrow any money from Uncle Samuelo. Venezuela has all it wants, thank you. I; has an ample stock of gold and L r . S. dollars with which to finance imports. It has no foreign debt, a small domestic debt, a balanced budget ar.d a surplus of about $:00,eOO,000 in the treasury, despite expanded government spending. concession. Oliver Steel, subsidiary of "J. S. Steel, Is exploring on six concessions. As if this weren't enough, the country also has gold, diamonds, coal. AbouL 75 per cent of the Venezuelan people, however, make their living from agriculture—raising livestock, coffee ar.d other tropical crops like rubber and nut oKs. What this has meant in the pasi is that the big money has been pretty well concentrated among the top landholders. ALL THIS WEALTH comes from rich oil fields in which American Standard and Royal Dutch Shell producing companies have The major interest. Venezuela collects not only royalties on the oil, but also income taxes from the oil land owners. Venezuelan production was 435,000,000 barrels last year, making- the country second only to U. S. as a producer. It is first as an exporter. Oil wealth is just a beginning. Bethlehem Steel will get into production next year on a big iron ore BUT SINCE THE revolution of 191G, the policy of the government has been to sow back into the land some of this oil wealth. It has gone into public works, sewers, roads, water systems, schools ar.d housing. This program was continued by the new administration elected in. December, 1947. It was headed by President Rom- •ulo Gallegos, who took office last February. His Democratic Action. Party controlled over 70 per cent of both" houses of Congress. They put through a New Dealish kind "of program, including some controls over prices and rents to hold down an inflation comparable to that of the U. S. The political riddle is why a liberal administration should be overthrown in a country as rich and solid as Venezuela. The usual factors seem to be missing, or are awfully well hidden. American business seemed satisfied with the Gallegos administration. THE COMMUNIST Pnriy in Venezuela i.s split into "red" and "black" factions which together polled only 50.000 votes out of 1.000.000 in Ihi: last .election. The left-wing, anli- Democratic Republican Onion is no bigger. The Conservative Party, "Copci." polled only 2(j2,000 votes against Democratic Action's 871,000. and was not too openly discontented. Moreover, Copei has announced it will take no part in. the new revolutionary government formed by the military Junta, led by four iicul.enrint-color.cls of the army. By all information that has so far readied Washington, tills revolt was a characteristic South American military coup. The Junta waited until Congress' had adjourned, Nov. S, before taking- over. Tiie Congress would normally reconvene in April, but probably won't be called back at all. The lieutenant- colonels have announced they will hold new elections, then retire from office. Whether they do or not remains to be seen. They have also anounced they will return to the old Constitution of 1030. History From The Times Files TEN' YEARS AGO December S, 1038 Patrick J. Hopkins was elected grand knight of Cumberland Council No. 583, Knights of Columbus, to succeed John MurpLy, resigned. Cumberland Lodge No. CD. Knights of Pythias, r.amcd J. Wallace Me- Kee chancellor commander. Deaths Mrs. Lena Howe, 07, Arch Street; Charles Thomas Taskcr, 74, W. Va.; Mrs. Sarah AMI Wilt, 80, this city. Harry Hook, Jr., 25, Paw Paw. W, Va., died of injuries suffered in a truck accident. and beer were sold. THIRTY YEARS AGO December 8, 1018 Ridgeley planned to hold its town election January 1. Deaths Daniel DcVaull, 77, Lonaconing; Miss Susan McKenna., Midland; Daniel M. Parker. 7:), Cninber- J;n:d; William M. Merlons. 01, former local businessman, in Washington; B. W. Klipsteiu, 00, formerly of Blooniington. in Texas. Wounded men arriving from overseas were sent to Marklcton, Pa., Sanitarium near Cumberland. THE LAME REASON which the young officers give for seizing power i.s that under Galegos the cabinet had only one military as minister of defense. The revolutionary government is headed by Lietit.-Col. Carlos Dol- gado Chalbaud, 39, who wus educated at St. Cyr. France. Liem..-Col. Marcos Perez Jiminc/., 40, is minister of defense. Lieut.-Col. Luis Felipe Llovcra Paz, 35, i.s minister of interior, controlling- the police. Lieut,-Col. Jorge Marcano, 41, i.s minister of communications. He i.s a graduate of Kelly Field, Tex., and for a time served a.s Venezuelan military attache in Washington. East Indies Natives Give Sup port To Asia Commies WAMIIINOTON. 'r!n> I: u I.I <• ;i ! rnriiiT n!' Ihr wni'iil l,s n Kiviil. Iirll. of l.slanclii .s|.ri,",diliHj in ;i curve wiutli of thc Philippines l.o the Asia- Lie mainland below China. The "cold war" over Berlin will be kid's play compared to the finagling, intrigue, and shooting over the fabulously rich East Indies. Today the faint echo of combat mid clamor is sounding in the cool halls of the State Department and across the river in the Pentagon. The Indies are so wealthy — a crumbling: volcanic soil, dense hardwood forests, minerals of all kinds. including sold nnd tin and coal mid diamonds, drugs, rubber, oil, sugar, :ind spices—thai fortunes have been made by the British, Dutch, French., and Portuguese. Even the Japs, plunderers as they were, could only touch the surface of this wealth during; the occupation. In the secret map rooms of the Joint Chiefs ol" Staff, southeast Asia is shown in great detail, For Mic islands arc cither slopping stones for an uttack OJl the Philippines or buses for assaults against an Asia controlled by the enemy. With the Communists creeping down China, French Indo-China, Burma, the Dutch Indies, and The British Indies are desperately-needed outposts of the western world. I Iniiijiliri'v iiinicd l!ir Hi'iin'CniHc iiiiMniinl i.'iiiu'1'iit.lnii ii|i»lilc-<lr>vvt) by liiiNliini: through Jib all-out civil 1'ightx resolution. Lucas said solemnly, "There will be no disciplining of Humphrey. He will yet just what ar.y other freshman Senator is entitled to." "Oh, yeah," the friend jeered, "He'll [ J ,el for pnlJ'onflKC the elevator operator on Die third shift." NOT MUCH OF the stealthy struggle for control of southeast Asia lias been, revealed, buc strange things have been happening . . . angry Dutch criticism of American officials, civil war, a blockade that threatens the life of millions of people. Communist infiltration, The cry of i n d e p e n d cr.ce has Jlamed like a, forest fire through the hearts of the dark-skinned, fine- featured natives. In Indonesia, a Republic has been set up and grudgingly recognized by the Dutch. But the case has r.o\v gone to the Security Council of the U. N., because of a tight Dutch blockade. The natives must do without medicines and wear burlap. Three American mediators, Frank Graham. Curt Dubois, and now Merle Cochran. have recommended giving the natives a decent break. For their pains, they have gotten grumbles and hot words from the Dutch. Such words as "completely unrealistic and useless . . . one-sided" arc used to describe Cochran's proposals by the Dutch radio in its broadcasts to the world. THE STATE DEPARTMENT keeps prodding the Dutch Embassy to lift the blockade, for as long as the riches ol! the East Indies are bottled up, the Marshall Plan can't really work. The Indonesian Republic with a big, wide-eyed innocent look is holding out to American business the lure of exploiting the wealth of the Indies, if the Dutch are kicked out. To add to the mess, the Communists had an abortive uprising 1 which was put down by the Republic. But the Dutch keep' insisting angrily that the Republic is really, fellows, friendly to Communism and the noble Dutch arc jus; stopping Communism. The real danger, according to confidential reports to the State Department, is that unless the blockade is lifted and the Indonesians can exchange their goods for medicine and clothing, Communism will be a. threat. THE WOODS ARE FULL ol" characters with that bright and shining look of job-seekers about them. They are looking for big jobs Jr. tl-.e "New Truman Administration" raid any one of them will tell at the drop of the hflc just how lie won the election for the President. Some are: A. A. Berle, ihe boy wonder with an I. Q. that staggers mental experts. The small, bristling gentleman was last seer, in these parts as Assistant Secretary of State. Besides his bright mind. Berle has all the energy of -A cage full of monkeys nnd the State Department was in a merry uproar during his .slny. Ho took on bureaucrats, politicians, Nazis, Fascists, and Commies all in one fell swoop. It was his bad luck to make furious war on Communists and Russia-lovers :u a time when the U.S.S. R. was being ardently courted in Washington. Berle was dropped with a thud. During the 1048 campaign, Berle ran the tiny Liberal Party of New York. It is the right wing split of the American Labor Ptu'ty which beat the bushes for Henry Wallace and is represented in Congress by shrill Vito Mnrcantonio. The Liberal Party sloutly worked for r -r. Truman. Berle would like to be Under Secretary of State—that is the guy who really runs things while the Secretary is tootling 1 around at world conferences. If he gets the job, the good life and leisurely chess games of the boys in the press room will be no more. They'll get writers' cramp scrawling down notes of intrigue. Henry McLemore's The Lighter Side NEW YORK— I figured that tins was on« ynii 1 Unit I wouldn't hiivo to do any Christmas DiiviiiR HIP five months of our trip n round 1.1 IB world wo hud iicctimiiliiied moimh of what we thought WMS little more thun brlc-it-bruc 10 use as presents. We paid powerful lilile for the intended presents. We worked on the old. old theory that those we gave their, to never could be sure of what they cost, and would be deltghled to get something from a foreign land. So we picked up what we thought were trifles from Ireland, to Japan — a fifty-cent bracelet for Aunt Bess, a two-bit knife for Uncle Willie, a thirty-iive-cent scarf for Cousin EUie May, and figurines and odd little boxes for all the other friends and relatives who raise their ugly heads at the joyous Yuletlde. Well, our plan has backfired, and with a double backfire, too. So help me, every time we look in a store here in New York our eyes light oil duplicates of the trifles we bought at prices anywhere from twenty to a hundred times as much as we paid for them. MORRIS ERNST, the bustling New York attorney who shows up like Aunt Emma in every liberal, civil liberties party. He helped fashion President Truman's civil rights report, the one that started Dixie- era ts jumping and howling like guys with a hotfoot. Ernst, however, is no extremist. He would like to be tapped for Secretary of Commerce, the job now held by paj-ty angel Charley Sawyer. Will Rogers, Jr.. the son of the cowboy philosopher, is "available" for Commissioner of Indian Affairs. His California friends are busily boosting him for the job. Will served in Congress without setting the world on flre. (It wasn't his fault. He tried hard enough.) FOR EXAMPLE, lake a set of carved ivory fishermen I picked up in Pciping for less than three dollars. It was going to an aunt who always sends us some homemade pickles as a Christmas gift, but she'll never lay eyes on it. It was priced in the New York store at $140. Sorry as I am for my aunt, I'm sorrier for myself. Why, why, I keep asking myself, didn't I buy a bushel of those carved fishermen? A bushel times $140 is a lot of dough. Then there is the bracelet, brooch, and earring set that .Jean bought in Bangkok with every intention in the world of slipping it over as a Christmas present. It cost less than a dollar, and her smile was that of a cat who has swallowed a canary au gratlD. Since getting here she has seen that same set on sale for S54.40 plus tax. You know how women are about bargains, so I scarcely need tell you that she hasn't had a good night's sleep since, and has started accusing me of being; to blame, saying that I was the one who kept her from buying hundreds of the .bracelets. The truth is, she didn't even want to buy the one, and did only because she thought jc would enable her to eut a corner on a Christmas gif:. A FRIEND was joshing Scott Lucas, the Democratic Senate floor leader, about Hubert Humphrey, the firebrand from Minnesota and Senator-elect. PRESIDENT TRUMAN and his jolly company of visitors spent a combination vacation and let's-see- what-s next session in a strictly New Deal spot, Key West. Dave Niles, the bustling little aid to Harry Hopkins, Franklin Roosevelt, and now Harry Truman, cheerfully pointed out to the President that WPA and the Navy built Key West almost from stem to stern. Incidentally, the Key West naval base is a lot more pleasant place to live since Mr. Truman started barging down for vacations. The stiff formality has relaxed under the benign influence ol a- President puttering around in a sloppy sport shirt and a stubble of beard. Even the admirals are un- bottonir.g their shirts and smiling. They nnd it's lots of fun! icloljc Syndicate) George Dixoii The Washington Scene WASHINGTON—Sing me a song of social .siKnilicancc: On!, of 5'l persons arraigned in the District of Columbia municipal court the other day only one was not charged wi'Ji being drunk. His name was Johnnie \Wikcr. Vivacious lady, in a tete-a-iel.e with Mr. Bob Rodenberg. describing a cocktail party she had left: "You never saw so many generals in your life. There wa.s an army Kcr.unil, a marine general, an air J'oi'Cu general and a postmaster general!" This is moving time 0:1 Capitol Hill. In the House ol' Representatives alone. 11D legislators have to be moved before the 81st Congress convenes Jan. 3. The situation is presenting great difficulties. Quite a lew of '.he la mo ducks are holding to the letter of. their lease. They say that they have no intention of moving until the last minute. There's no way they can be evicted. New Congressmen, who want to set settled, just have to remain offlceloss, although they are at liberty i.o fume and fret over the delay. Capitol Hii:. A certain radical Congressman, who has been quite unpopular with most of his colleagues, is moving out, having failed of re-election, A newly-elected legislator, who expects to get the office, cams upon a crew of cleaners in the place, and asked what they were doing. "We're fumigating it," was the reply. ijiie-and-Death Matter THE COLUMBIA Broadcasting System and the Music Corporation of America have gone into the boxing business as partners of the promoting group known as Tournament of Champions. Sponsored television, talent scouts for new fighters and such-likc innovations are promised. It has long been conceded that vaudeville was dead. Now it seems possible that show business may revive it in the ring by killing the fight TWENTY YEARS AGO December 8, 1928 Ridgeley voters renominated Mayor B.F.Magruder for re-elccUorj. Other candidates were J. T. Vandegrift, for mayor and J. H. Simmons and Leo Daugherty for recorder. Fire destroyed the Standish Mansion, an appartment house in Frostburg. Deaths Henry Finze!. 84, Garrctl county; Joseph M. Bruner, 83, Bedford Valley, Pn. City Police raided several "speakeasies." Cumberland was said to have 150 places where illicit liquor FORTY YEARS AGO December 8, 13(18 Theatrical Mechanics Alliance, composed of stage and theatrical workers, formed here. Mayor George A. Kean vetoed J Jie B. and O. storm sewer ordinance and held that the city was waiving its street rights to grant the measure. The veto wa.s sustained. Mrs. Isabe'.le Lcary, 75, this citv, died. Representatives of the Anti- Saloon League conducted a field day here with special sermons if. a number of churches. So They Say To practice freedom and make it work we must cherish the individual, we must provide him the opportunities for reward and impress upon him the responsibilities a free mar, bears to the society in which he Jives. —Gen. Omar N. Bradley. THE FOLDING rooms Of House ar.rt Senate expect to be up to their ears in last-minute business. One big function of the folding rooms is to take care of Congressmen who havi; folded. The folding rooms serve the legislator, coming and going. When lie first takes office they send him lists of available government publications (child care, how to grow hybrid corn, wolf control, how to make nourishing broth from seaweed, etc.). These he can send to his constituents, thereby rendering them humid with gratitude. But. when the same electoral;:, possibly tired of skipping- a:awecd sou;) nnd control-Ing wolves, gives him thcelcctoral heave-ho, the folding- rooms serve him again. They pack his books and files and send them to him—provided he has left a forwarding- address. PRESIDENT 1'RUMAN is hi the enviable position of being able to have his cake and eat il loo. He has requested that the ceremonies for his inaugural be kept as simple and inexpensive as possible. It will unquestionably be the most elaborate and costly inaugural of all time, but the President can honestly insist that he did everything- in his power to keep it cheap and unpretentious. All the funds were appropriated and plans completed by the Republicans of the 80th Congress who had a misguided notion—goodness knows how incurred—that one of their party would be inaugurated. By the time tl-.e electorate had spoken it was too late to make any changes. SIS, RICHARD GREGORY, British scientist, recently told a mothers' clinic in London that it may soon be necessary to eet permission to become a parent because of thc increasing burden on she EVERYONE SHOULD make two trips around the world, with the first one serving ks a dry run, so to speak. On this dry run one would learn where to shop and what to buy. Of course, when the cost of a trip arourxi thc world is considered, a bit of the lustre of the .bargains to be had is worn off, buc only dull, practical people would take that into consideration. In case you are planning a. trip around the world be sure to make Istanbul, Bangkok and Shanghai your chief ports of buying. Now that I have seen U. S. prices, my eyes pop in remembrance of the bargains to be found in the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, Alex's jewelry store in Bangkok, and a place like the Orienta'l Star in Shanghai. Or the Family Store is Peiping. If I am ever lucky enough to make th« trip again, I am going to take three barrels for suitcases and just hope. and. pray that the customs men will all be out for tea when I get home. (Distributed by McJfaught Syndicate, inc.) Hal Boyle** AP Reporter's Notebook NEW YORK—Look at me. I'm an «x- rheumaloid. No, not a parlor, bedroomaloid and bath. A real, honest-lo-aspirln, fully repaired cx- I'houmalokl. That'.s me. iaomo days buck I wrote a. piece revealing for i.he first time thc Boyle secret of staying healthy. It wa.s very simple. You just buddy up to all thc office hypochondriacs—the people who JmiiSlne they have chronic ailments. Then you follow all their dicls, nnd lake all their capsules, pills, nose drops and nostrums. Just borrow them. Any hypochroildriac will share his last pill with you—if you'll just listen to his symptoms. And nobody ever asks you to return a used pill. Well, for ten years this cheap, foolproof system worked perfectly. I knew sickness only' through hearsay. Or so I thought. Then I published my secret to ihe world—how to slay well by preying on hypochondriacs. And what happened? TWO DAYS LATER, I sprang out or bed and—"ow-w-w-w-ch!" my right foot was red. swollen and sensitive as an old maid at A wedding reception. I hobbled into the office, and bird-dogged around to my favorite hypochondriacs. I hcl<i up my lame foot. "Didn't twist, strain, bruise, or break it—or anything," I explained. "Just woke up this morning and there it was, pulsing like a turkey gobbler, what's wrong?" "Just falling arches," diagnosed one. "Soak it in hot epsom salts." "It's mental," said thc office's amateur psychiatrist. You've got a delusion. Soak It in hot epsom salts." But they ail agreed my story was completely unhkely. And that the only thing w <io was "soak it in epsom salts*" I HOT-FOOTED home to-Frances, a limp at a lime. And with that quick intuition that ness of controls, it's more than likely to set out of hand. Britons may come to realize this if the I did. He unveiled my throbbing foot. He ..._., ..... „ . - ezed ifc lik « a miser grabbing a S20 gold government decrees only one baby P'ece. When I climbed down from the chande ]ier . 5ti] ) tingling, I croaked hopefully "Tell me it's gout, Doc. My family has been in America for only three generations If to a pair of customers. I HAD DINNER at the Palms on New York's Third Avenue with Mr. J'n the firsi-mm t« «< n -— "— •""• " Pal O'Brien of the movies and hi:; s ™.^ ° ° L ° 8Ct thc e°»">-wh«t a success Polcsles. I had ' .'•,'', . ,, , Look what thinks it's got sout," jeered the I know of no one factor more important to the future peace of the world than food. The work which FAO (the UN's Food and Agriculture Organisation) does, or leaves undone, wiil have a great bearing on the history of the world. —President Truman Workers are going • to sec another pay boost. I don't think anything can prevent it. . . Prices can't jto anywhere but up. If wages go up and materials .so up, prices too must go up.—Henry Ford II. THE HOUSE minority room (meaning the one that will devote itself to the care Of Republicans) i.s now using a new type of inimao- STiiphing machine which turns out form letters for congressmen. The only way these missives can be told from personal letters is to turn them over nnd Fee if the puncUinlior. comes through tin: back. If you set a letter from your congressman that reads like a personal note, turn it over. Thc ^amc letter might be goinj to cvcrv voter in your district. I do not vouch for this, bin it i.s being recounted as yospel truth on hosts, i.he Hcrber always thought of all three as being fairly sophisticated but I founts this opinion was not shared by a; least one stranger. As Mr, O'Brien started across the -street to get into Mr. Polesie's car, a motorist screamed: "You're not in the country now— you blankety-blank farmer!" (KiEC Features! Doc. "You have to have enough money "to" eat well to get thc gent. "You've just sot a rheumatoid Infection. Thcies no use in n,y trying to explain what a rheumatoid infection is. Just tell your friends you got arthritis or rheumatism. These infections usually settle in a joint,"Here, take these every four hours. Cochran's Barbs The person wirh a scowl will feel a lot better If he'll Like another look. How can you get the better of the British Empire when it always hns another king up its sleeve? The older ar. auto the more it needs iho most important accessory —a nice bank balance "What good '11 that do?" "B,,f^?i ba h bly "T '" Snid tlle d0cto> ' But ,t u be a nice change for Frances to se» you wiiii only one loot in hot water " Well Ihe week's over. I'm going to tell the out " my ailmci " was "P 001 " man '» Sounds better than rheumatoid infection. Might even give the boss thc idea I am sufferio? from payday malnutriliorj. (Associated Press)

What members have found on this page

Get access to

  • The largest online newspaper archive
  • 8,800+ newspapers from the 1700s–2000s
  • Millions of additional pages added every month

Try it free