Asbury Park Press from Asbury Park, New Jersey • Page 4

STAGE A4 ASBURY PARK PRESS TUESDAY, JUNE 10, 1997 JPROiVl BABY Lacey Township stunned by revelation lay If been a rough year at township high school UCEY Ram QTia www if It 1 JAMES J. CONNOLLYStaff photographer 0 Valerie Bougher, 17, a Lacey High School student, discusses -plans to distribute white ribbons at the high school today in memory of the infant who died at the school's prom Friday. JAMES J. CONNOLLYStaff photographer Members of the media interview students outside Lacey High School yesterday. Many of Melissa Drexler's neighbors harshly criticized the horde of reporters, photographers and television news crews that camped out all day in front of the Drexler home on Falkenburgh Avenue.

"By BOB MURA "MANAHAWKIN BUREAU LACEY TOWNSHIP For all the good news that comes out of Lacey -township High School, people reading newspapers or watching their televisions may get a very bad impression of Jhe school this year. "It certainly has been a year that we've had some difficult issues to deal Richard P. Starodub, the superin-tendent of schools, said yesterday. "-The high school made front-page -headlines in Ocean and Monmouth -counties last fall when its popular band itleader was indicted on charges of a sexual affair with a student Brian A. Yatauro was acquitted last prompting many of his students, 'fellow teachers and other supporters to say that he was maligned by the news media He is still on paid suspension Awhile the Board of Education decides whether to give him back his job.

That ordeal has been bad enough, students and school officials say. I But now the high school has gained prominence in the news once again, on a national scale this time, for another story that could wind up in criminal court an 18-year-old senior from the school gave birth at the prom Friday night in Aberdeen Township, and dis-Lposed of the body in a bathroom trash Monmouth County prosecutors have 55oJ charged the young mother, Melissa Dnetler, with any wrongdoing, but they might if they determine the baby was boraalive. VJou can't believe this stuff happens tef This is not Lacey," Nichole 1 16-year-old junior at Lacey High, "This place is so quiet, dually." SJTThis is creating a lot of bad rumors SJbeiit Lacey. We look like some type of rjfcyaio school," said Valerie Bougher, also a junior. Bougher plans today to distribute white ribbons to her classmates in memory of Drexler's baby.

"We just want to show that we care about human life I'm going to try to give them out to as many people as I an she said. Dunich, a 15-year-old Lacey Ireshman, bemoaned the public's fascination with negative news stories about "school kids. Denial of pregnancy called common among teens "There's no recognition for the good things the kids do here," he said. The 15-year-old high school, sitting in the heart of a sprawling bedroom community, boasts a solid, well-rounded curriculum, with a good chunk of its graduating seniors heading to college each year, district administrators have said. The sports teams and after-school activities enjoy strong participation from students and positive publicity both in area newspapers and on cable television.

Dunich, who happens to be Yatauro's cousin, said he attended the prom Friday night But school chaperons concealed the Drexler incident so well that he didn't even hear about it until after the dance. "The staff really rose to the occasion and did what was right," Starodub said. "You really get tested in these types of situations, professionally." Many parents have called Starodub's office to comment on the district's handling of the prom night incident, and so far it seems none has complained, he said. All of Drexler's neighbors declined to give their names or comment on the case yesterday. But many voiced harsh "Some women may in a calculating way hide their pregnancy, anticipating that they will get rid of the baby.

More often, they may deny the pregnancy," said Resnick, a forensic psychologist at University Hospital of Cleveland who, in 1970, coined the word neonaticide to mean the killing of an infant on the day of its birth. "Although they may not consciously plan to kill it, they'll hope that a miscarriage or a stillborn will result Whether it is homicide or if a child dies to negligence due to birth, is something the legal system can work out" It remains unknown whether Drexler's infant was viable at birth. Experts said yesterday that it is common for teen-agers to deny their pregnancy. In some cases, that denial stretches late into the pregnancy. In rare situations, the rejection of the reality continues after birth, during which some women will disassociate themselves from the experience, as if they are viewing themselves from above, watching someone else give birth to the child.

i. ctx 't ff I I i 1. criticism of the horde of reporters, photographers arid television news crews that camped out all day in front of the Drexler home on Falkenburgh Avenue, a tree-lined street near the township's Lake Bamegat in the Bamegat Pines The causes of such behavior range from fear and panic of parents and teachers' reactions, intense shame, or the women's desire to ignore their situation and get on with their lives. Some deny their pregnancy so effectively that are not consciously aware of it, Resnick said. For most, the pregnancy will not just disappear.

"With babies they just keep growing and growing and growing," said Dr. Peter Harris, medical director for mental health services at Jersey Shore Medical Center in Neptune. "They don't go away and, of course, the crisis is when the baby is born. For nine months you bury your head in the sand, you hope to wake up and see the problem resolved. In crisis, kids do incredible things." Including going to lengths to hide the developing fetus.

"It's pretty amazing how good some teen-agers are at hiding the fact that they are pregnant," said Harris, who in his 20-year medical career has counseled four or five Friends From page Al should wait until all the circumstances surrounding the episode are known before drawing conclusions about their friend. They said they didn't know Drexler was pregnant and didn't think that anyone else did either. They said that even her prom date and longtime boyfriend, John, whose full name they would not provide, had no idea. "This has got to be tough for him, too," said Amanda of Drexler's boyfriend, who they said graduated in 1996. "He's quiet, like Melissa, and they make a good couple." Rebecca said her friend had been dating John for about three years and said the two were "so in love." She said she went "prom shopping" with Drexler about a month ago.

The fact that she had been trying on zM! section. At one point yesterday afternoon, several Lacey Township High School seniors got a ride in a stretch limousine to show a crew from the Sally Jessy Raphael show where the Drexler home women who hid their pregnancies and abandoned their newborns. In about half those cases the babies lived, he saidand in every instance law enforcement officials became involved after the babies, or bodies, were discovered. Women will wear baggy clothes as Melissa Drexler of Lacey Township did or starve themselves to limit their weight gain, he said. In their denial, they say to themselves, "If I don't have a great big belly, I won't be pregnant," Harris said.

The young women will also try to hide their morning sickness, and they will use makeup to hide the reddish pigmentation some pregnant women will develop on their skin. "Having had the chance to meet several of these women, I've actually been impressed at how much they look like the girl next door," Harris said. The phenomenon has occurred locally before. In 1992, just such a girl next door, Suzanne Price of Tinton Falls an 18-year-old cheerleader at Red Bank Catholic High School dresses with the 5-foot 7-inch Drexler, who Rebecca said is about a size 6 or 7, makes the fact that she was pregnant even more unbelievable. "I still can't believe it's her.

I watch it on the television and I get all teary eyed," Rebecca said. "I keep thinking she's going to walk into school and it's all going to be over." The pair, who didn't attend the prom, said Drexler was "so excited" about the evening and about graduating. They said she was planning to attend Brookdale Community College in Middletown Township and wanted to have a career in the fashion industry. When asked if they knew Drexler, dozens of other students approached around Lacey yesterday afternoon said they either didn't know her, or didn't know enough about her to comment. One student said he would say hello in the hallways and described her as "quiet and nice" but said the two weren't close friends.

Rebecca and Amanda confirmed that Drexler didn't have a wide circle of friends, but was content with that way of life. Two identified as Lacey High 1 School students, ride in limousine be- longing to the Sally Jesse Raphael Show near the Drexler home. THOMAS P. -COSTELLO Staff photographer 1 Several neighbors even shouted at the news gatherers from their driveways and cars, ordering the strangers to go away and calling them "disgusting vultures." cided to tell her parents. "She said, 'I just thought the prob-m lem would go said who is researching infanticides.

"She thought that she would come up with a solution in the future. And she didn't think it out." Meyer said mothers "deny role of mother," Meyer said. "They" deny the maternal bond, and that' role, the definition of themselves as mother. They're not denying that they're pregnant They know that. They define that child as a barrier to the rest of their life." In the case of the 17-year-old, the family became very supportive after" the pregnancy became known and of- fered to help raise the baby, Meyer said.

The teen, however, opted for a late-term abortion in Texas. Lorrie Erli, director of Helping Hand Pregnancy Care Center in Red Bank, said parents should be alert to behavioral changes in their teen-age daughter, such as suddenly sleeping more, being fatigued, eating shunning the company of others, and wearing baggy clothing. mean, I know they didn't really knpw her, but still. This is still something horrible that happened to someone in our school." Rebecca said that if this were one of the more popular students, her classmates wouldn't be parading in front of the school. "They'd all be keeping their mouths closed and thinking about what happened to their friend," she said, "like we are." The two said they have not yet spoken with Drexler, whom they said )s resting at home.

Drexler's mother rjas decided against allowing visitors yet, but Rebecca said her mother had been in touch with Drexler's mother and passed along the girls' supportive thoughts. "We just want her to know that we care about her so much and we will always be there for her," said Amanda. "She should know that no matter what anybody says about her or what they think, there are people who love her and who are there for her." By JAMES W. PRADO ROBERTS and JASON METHOD STAFF WRITER ON THE NIGHT of her senior prom, Melissa Drexler gave birth to a full-term baby boy in a bathroom stall, placed the infant in a garbage "can and returned to her date on the dance floor in a doomed attempt to return to her former life, officials say. But Drexler's reported deception is by no means unique.

U.S. Justice Department statistics show that 300 to 400 dead newborns tjare discovered discarded annually, whether stillborn, killed or dead of exposure, according to Dr. Philip J. Resnick, a leading expert on the murder of newborns. "But nobody knows how many don't happen to be discovered," he said.

It was unclear yesterday whether had been in denial over the ichanges in her body, or if she had just hidden them so successfully that veven her best friend, in the bathroom minutes before the birth, was un-; aware of her friend's circumstances. T7T was. The students made a point of telling reporters that they were not paid. At a neighbor's property, a cameraman for a TV tabloid program was stopped by police for trying to sneak up to the rear of the Drexler house. received a 10-year sentence after she stabbed her newborn son with a pair of scissors.

No one close to her, including her tightknit family, said afterward they had any inclination that Price was pregnant. There would be far more instances of secret births, if it were not for someone intervening in the last moment, either before, during or after delivery of the baby, according to Robert Bransfield, a Middletown Township psychiatrist, who wrote a letter on Price's behalf to the state Superior Court judge who sentenced her. "There is a significant number, where there is a concealed pregnancy, where it is revealed at the last moment, and it is a close call where the child survived," said Bransfield. A 17-year-old teen studied by Jon'a Meyer, a professor of criminal justice at Rutgers University-Cam-den, could have been in a similar situation. Seven months pregnant, the teen-ager hadn't told anyone.

Finally, she admitted the pregnancy and de The two said they spent most of yesterday with counselors and teachers who were helping them deal with their feelings. They said they are sad for their friend and were upset to hear classmates telling reporters what they believed happened at the prom and describing their friend as "different or a little wild." "That is what is hurting me inside, what is bothering people like us who are close with her, is that all these people are walking around and talking about her when they didn't even know her," Amanda said. "Anyone who says she was wild or strange or whatever doesn't know what they are talking about." The girls said they were appalled at the way their schoolmates behaved yesterday, hamming for cameras and purposely walking by television and other reporters so they could be caught on film. "Nobody ever walks in front of the school like that. They were just doing it so they could get on TV," Rebecca said.

"It kind of makes me sick. I i It- 'i j1 I I 1 Ji, Melissa Drexler and her date (whose face has been obscured) Jqfer the Lacey High School prom Friday night, in this still photo from a school video shown on Channel 10 last night. -t.