The Pittsburgh Press from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania • Page 45

The Pittsburgh Press Section Thursday. June 28. 1990 I. ii ni' in i ii mi i iiiiijLiiMiii mm hi i ninm ii Tapping of happy feet opens South Park series No, they haven't opened a firing range in South Park. The fusillade of rapping, tapping and slapping you hear isn't the zing of bullets off a wall but the rapid patter of dancing feet hitting their mark with the music and the mood of the evening as the Jazz Tap Ensemble inaugurates the South Park Summer Series with a performance at 7:30 p.m.

Saturday at the South Park Fairgrounds. Jazz Tap Ensemble is dedicated to two American art forms jazz music and tap dancing. Three dancers perform to music by a pianist, bass player and drummer. The troupe improvises frequently, but also relies on music from such artists as Duke Ellington, The-lonius Monk, George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Miles Davis and anything else Park it and browse at exotic car fest You can wash and wax that old chassis, but somehow it still falls short of being the classy car of your dreams. The nickel-plated hood ornament looks a little sad on that old VW bug.

The upholstery reeks of your last vacation and all those fast-food meals eaten in the car. No matter. You can wheel over to the Station Square Transportation Museum on Saturday for its fifth annual Car Festival and partake of classy chassis galore. The event, which runs from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

in Station Square's center parking lot, will feature rare and exotic automobiles like Ferraris and Lamborghinis as well as antique bicycles, operating steam cars, motorcycles, hit-and-miss engines and demonstrations. Donation is $2 for adults and $1 for children. Leave with pocket money to invest in that new car. Day trip Monongahela River Festival Rices Landing on the Monongahela in Greene County a quiet hamlet of 600 relives its busy waterfront era Saturday and Sunday during the yearly River Festival. The excitement takes place beside the river and much of it on the lock wall, beside the for- mer dam site.

Louisa Hildebrand of the sponsoring Civic Organization for Community Outgrowth tells what's ahead. Saturday: a fishing tournament from 7 to 9 a.m.; a 5K walk and a 5K run; a parade at 10:30 a.m., followed by a pet parade, live music, clogging and an old-time fiddlers' contest. In the afternoon, there's a Diaper Derby, with crawling and toddling tots coaxed through a race by parents and grandparents beaming at the finish line. There's more: a Gong Show, beach party, contests best tan, arm wrestling, bench pressing a dance school show, a festival queen election and Vegas-type games. On Sunday, an ecumenical service at 1 1 am.

is followed by music, clowns, games, a turkey call contest and an Anything That Floats race. Admission to both days' fun is $2 for those 12 and older, $1 for children. Sunday, an extra charge of $10 buys admission to the Hubcaps' evening concert of '50s and '60s music. Essential extras: a 1900 belt-driven chine shop, crafts, refreshments, a petting zoo, snakes and reptiles exhibit, winning entries in the photo, ceramics and poetry competitions. (Rices Landing is about 60 miles from Pittsburgh.

Take Interstate 79 south. Exit at Ruff Creek and go southeast on 221 and east on 188 to Route -88. At the goin either direction or follow festival signs.) that strikes their fancy. And they're not above a little a cappella tip-tap from time to time. Admission is free.

Now doesn't that set your little hearts a-patter? If you miss the tappers Saturday, they'll be at Hartwood Acres Sunday at 7:30 p.m. Jim ConawayThe Pittsburgh Press Now here's the pitch for baseball card show Batter up! Uh, better make that Buyer up! A baseball card show, with the focus on sales and trading, will be held from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday at the Green Tree Marriott. On hand will be 75 dealers from five states.

In addition to baseball cards, dealers will display football, hockey and basketball cards as well as other sports memorabilia. Admission is $1.50 for adults and 75 cents for children under 12. Painting the town in a grand style Have paint brush? Will travel? Then the second Colossal Collage-A-Thon, a Pittsburgh Center for the Arts participatory event in Mellon Park, Shadyside, is for you. This year's paintfest, free to the public, commemorates the grand reopening of the center following its $4.9 million renovation. All ages may join the fun.

Scheduled from 1 to 5:30 p.m. Sunday, participants will go to work on a 600-by-6-foot canvas stretched along the Fifth Avenue side of the center's front lawn. Brushes, paint, glitter and glue will be furnished, but feel free to bring your own supplies. For inspiration, some of the city's best artists, including previous Pittsburgh Center for the Arts Artist of the Year recipients, will take part. The day's activities will be emceed by P.J.

Maloney of KQV-AM and WTAE-TV's Sheila Hyland. Food will be sold by The BalconyHotlicks. Other highlights: artist demonstrations, aerobics, jazz music, tours of the new facilities, children's activities and more. And if you 'J- mwwiia 1 I ii If tlilMimnWiriiMlnHili urt. A 111111)1')) lilt Vl Olllll rii)liHliiffinftirt I come early, you can take in the year first Jim ConawayThe Pittsburgh Press Bach, Beethoven Brunch concert, which A features music by Carl Adams in a pro gram titled Bach to Brubek.

The con cert starts at 10:30 a.m. Rain date for the Collage-A-Thon is July 8. Fiber artists, unite! And speaking of art The Fiberarts Guild of Pittsburgh kicks off its Fiberart '90 exhibit tomorrow with a free preview party that's open to the public. The party runs from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Hen ry Clay Frick Fine Arts Gallery, University of Pittsburgh.

Nailing down the facts about Victorian homes You can leave your carpenters' aprons at home, but you might want to bring a notebook. The Victorian Home Fair, scheduled from noon to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday in Richland Township, is a chance to observe three Victorian homes under development on landscaped, wooded lots. Developers and builders will be on hand to answer questions. Displays include a gazebo, Victorian artifacts, doll houses, models and home plans.

To get there from Pittsburgh, take Route 8 north to Route 9 1 0 east (the Orange Belt) Travel 1 miles on 910, turn right on Turner Road and drive another half-mile. The homes will be on the right. Love those ponies The Beaver County Historical Research and Landmarks Foundation will hold its second annual benefit polo match at 8 p.m. tomorrow at the Darlington Polo Field, Darlington. The Darlington Nightriders will battle a team from Buffalo.

Preceding the 8 p.m. game will be a buffet dinner, which begins at 6:30 and is included in the cost of game tickets. Tickets are $12 for adults, $10 for senior citizens, $8 for youths 13 to 17 and $6 for children 5 to 12. Proceeds benefit the Vicary House in The exhibit, a display of 48 pieces juried from more than 150 entries made by members of the Guild, runs through July 20. Included are quilts, paper works, bas vv kets, wearables, soft sculpture, wall hangings, handmade books and alternative jewelry.

Regular gallery hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesdays through Saturdays and 2 to 5 jl P-m. Sundays. Closed Mondays.

Admission A '-'j lenge Cup, incidentally, is Jan Mey- ers-Newbury, whose work, titled "Hot Spot," is a quilt composed of hand-dyed and tie-dyed fabrics. The show promises to be a real stitch. Jim ConawayThe Pittsburgh Press Weekend TV: Beer Bart giving parents prime-time hangover obert Bisinco the show while learning not to act like Bart. With any luck, you may even learn not to act like Marge and Homer. Not convinced? Then try these prime-time weekend viewing choices: For older children: "The Diary of Anne Frank" (AMC, tonight at "Quantum Leap" (NBC, tonight and tomorrow at 10).

"Special Bulletin" (WWOR, Saturday at 8). "Wuthering Heights" (AMC, Saturday at 9). "The Sitcom Zone" (NIC, Sunday at 8). For the whole family: "The Mark of Zorro" (FAM, tonight at 8). "How to Marry a Millionaire" (AMC, tomorrow at 7).

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit" (DIS, tomorrow at 9). "Cinderella" (DIS, Saturday at 7). "National Geographic" (WQED, Saturday at 8 30). (Robert Bianco is The Pittsburgh Press TV-Radio editor.) show will help your children form higher standards. After all, when it comes right down to it, no one knows what will affect children.

I have two cousins who, in the over-enthusiastic blush of first parenthood, took their 2-year-old daughter to Disney World to visit Mickey Mouse. She took one look at the huge rodent and spent the rest of the vacation screaming at the sight of anyone in mouse ears. Annette would have been crushed. What can you do if you want to watch the show, but Bart still worries you? Try one these two post-show detox techniques: If you're in a Mister Rogers mood, gather the children together in your parental embrace and say, "That was fun, wasn't it? But Bart's behavior really isn't very nice, even though, at heart, he's a good boy. Let's talk about it." The other is to fix your kids with a stern look and say, "How lucky for Bart to have such simps for parents.

If he mouthed off like that around this house, he'd be looking for a new inkwell." That way, the kids can watch and as dangerous as soda pop. A valuable lesson, and one that should stick with your children until about 10:30, or whenever KDKA airs the first of the eight beer commercials it has scheduled for Friday night's Pirate broadcast brought to you by Bud-weiser, the official beer of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Isn't learning fun? By 11 p.m., the anti-drinking message can be supplanted by two new but equally important lessons: Teenage drinking will continue because adults really don't think beer is a drug, and adults are only interested in solutions that don't involve any sacrifice on their part. Compared to such weighty issues, can "The Simpsons" really be such a threat? Yes, I know, Bart, the sharp-tongued, sharp-haired under-achiever, is not a particularly noble role model. He outwits his parents and outtalks his teachers; in short, he's the child we wish we'd been, and fear our children will become.

"The Simpsons" already have been over-analyzed, so let's not add to the deluge. If the show IT'S TOUGH to be a kiddie couch potato these days. The shows they like like Fox Broadcasting's "The Simpsons" supposedly aren't good for them. And the shows that are supposed to be good for them like KDKA's "Kids Under the Influence" they aren't likely to like. Of course, when it comes right down to it, "Kids" is no more aimed at children than "Training Dogs the Woodhouse Way" is aimed at pups.

Airing tomorrow at 9 p.m., "Kids" is yet another tongue-clucking what's-to-be-done-about-the-children specials in which parents are lectured for their failings. Yank that leash, owners, and give those pups a stern "No." Despite the repetition and breast-pounding, there is a valuable kernel of information to be gleaned from watching Teenagers abuse alcohol far more than they abuse any other drug, and we're not pressuring them to stop. In fact, says "Kids," all our glossy beer commercials actually encourage teenage abuse by making alcohol look as desirable as sex Sure, the parents and children squabble in "The Simpsons." So what? Unlike the ugly "Married With Children" (and if you're letting your kids watch that rat's nest, we really must have a talk), there's always an undertone of caring to "The Simpsons," and that makes the difference. The show even has some redeeming cultural value. At least when you let your kids watch "The Simpsons," you're exposing them to top-quality TV.

No, it isn't high art; we're not talking Bach, Beethoven or L. Frank Baum. But it isn't "Punky Brewster," "He-Man," or "The Care Bears Get a Sugar Fix" either. Who knows, maybe watching a well-written doesn't make you laugh, or if you don't find it a suitable viewing choice for your children, keep it out of your house. Deciding what your children will watch is your business, and I wouldn't dream of interfering.

If you don't mind, though, I would like to offer some words of comfort to parents who are letting their children watch, and who may be feeling guilty. The words are "Lighten up." The show's funny, and the so-called experts who have been using the show to get their own names in print are the same people-from-another-planet lab-heads who balk at anything that smacks of real life..