The Pittsburgh Press du lieu suivant : Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania • Page 24

FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 1914 HUMOR AND ENTERTAINMENT The Pittsburg Press Daily Magazine and Home Page i'Tm Falling in Love With Some One!" -asm gXlsj mmmmtm mm100 THIN TH5 IS ST TOO I "WE ARE ALL A BAD LOT ENGLISH AUTHOR SAYS CAUSE tJF MAN'S BLASPHEMY AGAINST "TR last TiMe Took, lessoms THfe tee. THe proposed r- rST ME. Right by mAT I HARDLY KtStu; WHAT To SAY YOU OFFER-D lb 1EAOH e- 1 Ar-I rl It dim Irt no RQMAKT tO I UKEIH TO rr tr t)CtVv YOU meY-. You.mke. lots of kcmey TfeHtNG) 11.

Tkni I rl VcUUSIiy ricoCUl lliaiL.CU tn Koiu'c PnnflllOCt IU lldiy vuiiqutou LEAN, underfed youtn. shabby A of clothes and barren of pros- pects, fell In love with a widow who was as poor as himself and considerably older. This was in 3- human life. "All the ills of life flow from blasphemy against woman, against the idea of her essential goodness and purity. "To restore woman to her throne, to crown her afresh with honor and reverence, is almost to bring the klngom of heaven to this troubled and disordered earth," Mr.

Begbie 'says. In order to do this he thinks man must change his attitude of mind toward woman. He must accept the fac that woman is naturally serious and good, that If she appears frivolous, light, coquettish and artificial, it is only to conform to man's distorted ideal of her. Mr. Begbie believeg that the besetting sin of our age is the materialistic thought that "impurity is natural and that purity is unnatural." Hence has sprung a tolerance for evil.

Hence has come the widespread opinion that women are thus and thus and have been bo from ancient times. "Women are what men force them to be, they make pretense to be what men desire them to be." As overwhelming evidence of this statement Mr. Begbie cites woman's complicity in the "social evil," her acquiescence in the modern doctrine ot materialism which he describes as a belief that "life is a jig and a spree." Of course, this is profoundly true, If. ever the human race attains the moral level of what It think of as the "lower animals" the greatest reform in the history of the world, will have taken place. The female of the species every species save the human is naturally profoundly meral.

She lives to care for her offspring. She is econom--ically independent. She has no use, for the male save as a- father -and all the sex crimes of civilization are to her. It remained for the so-called "lord of creation" to invent the "social evil and the moral and physical diseases to which it has given birth. But while Mr.

Begbie finds gloom in the words of the seer "I read in it a message of great hope for the world and particularly for our own country. For more and more American men are realizing that if you put woman on a pedestal" you merely afford her an extra good view of what is going on below and that a great many women in these times insist on vacating their pedestals to sweep up around, the base. In 10 states already the American man, like the gallant gentleman he is, has handed her the broom. When their-backward sisters have all followed the example of the suffrage states We will have done a -good deal to avert ''The, Crisis in Morals." -I NIXOLA GREELEY-SMITH. By Nixola Greeley-Smith.

Copyrigiit by the Xewpaj Enterprise Aw-o-1atloi. We are all a very bad lot. You are. I am. Everybody Is.

At least this Is the dreadful opinion which Harold Begbie, English author, expresses in his mew book, "The Crisis in Morals," about to be- published in the United States. After putting- his ear to the heart of the times, feeling--its pulse and taking its temperature, Mr. Begbie remarks that modern civilization is a nightmare. With our tangoes, our pompoms and oar turkey-trots, with our plays about th social evil and our novels about I4 NIXOLA GREELEY-SMITH. unfaithful mates, we are not even happy in our degradation, he thinks.

Even Joy has acquired the painful Jiablt of skipping dividerpds. Why is it, he asks, that in our happiness and attainment, we so little surpass the happiness and attainment of a thousand years The author of "The Crisis In Mor als" finds his answer in these words of an eastern seer: "Where women are honored the Dlr vinities are complacent, where they are despised, it is useless to pray to God "Woman la the secret. Man's attitude to woman, the decisive fact of The bridegroom a year 6r two earlier erals of the army of Italy looked upon had been on one meal a day, or him as an upstart. The soldiers were ripe less, and had worn out bis only pair ot for mutiny. The new leader whipped the boots in a vain earch for work.

He insubordinate generals into line in a single had tried his hand at writing and had interview. He did it so effectually that failed miserably. He knew he had mill- Augereau, one of the bravest of them all tary talent, but he could not convince voiced the feelings of the rest when he any one of it. He even tried in despair said to Massena on leaving the command-to sell his sword to the Sultan of Tur- er's tent. key.

"Curse the fellow! He scared me!" The bride had a variegated career With the unruly soldiers Napoleon's tao-both before and after her first husband's tics were different. He pointed out that death. Fickle, stupid, pleasure-loving she the rich cities of Italy lay before them, followed the line of least resistance. At a few hard knocks and the hungry troop- last she had drifted under the protection would soon be rolling In gold and stuft-of Barras, unscrupulous President of thee ing themselves with food and wine. French "Convention." And Barras soon "Italy is your prey he declared, began to tire of her.

Eager for plunder, the troops who had Meantime the penniless young officer lately been so despondent dashed into had, by various deeds of strategic worth the campaign. Battle after battle they attracted Barras's attention. Incidentally, won. Napoleon became their idol. They meeting the widow at Barras's house the savage men who had been in the hiil-it youth had fallen crazily in love with her of killing or deserting such officers as a love she barely tolerated.

thev disliked. They fought like devils. Barras saw a way to free himself of Nothing could stand against them, for the a burden and to reward a friend. He genius of their leader and their own fan-told the widow that the young offlcer bad atical courage enabled them to nccom-a fine future and he promised to help plish the impossible. along that future.

He persuaded her to Napoleon at their head, destroyed four marry the officer, and by way of a wed- hostfle armies, each larger thajj Ms ding present he made the bridegroom own. He soundly thrashed the Austrian commander In chief of the French army who had hitherto been supreme in Italy, in Italy. anj fte bluffed them into signing a treaty It was a queer wedding gift and it that made France supreme, -promised little save as. a matter of title He beat the Sardinians and the sub-for France's army in Italy was an almost sidiary Italian armies. He wrung mil-disorganized rabble of starving ragged lions of dollars from captured cities and men insubordinate, ill-trained and with looted churches and palaces.

He let hi scant hopes of achieving any sort of sue- men commit atrocities that made all cess. Europe gasp. The French government. Yet Barras had done far more than jealous of his victories, called on him to he dreamed. His "wedding present" not stop.

He replied "I am not fighting for only paved the way for a great and vie- those rascally lawyers at home" and he torious war, but it was soon to prove to went on until Italy lay helpless under his the world that a new and wonderful feet. He had made wondrous use of Bar-star had risen above the foggy military ras's wedding present." horizon. Then Napoleon returned to France. The The widow bride was Josephine Beau- people went mad over him. They received harnais.

The out-at-elbows bridegroom him with frenzied cheera and treated him was a Corsican named Nabuleone Boun as though he a god of war. Urged uparte better known to history as Na- to seize the rulership, he vas wise poleon Bonaparte. to take a premature step, but answered: Almost directly after his marriage Na- "The pear is not yet ripe. I must daz- poleon started for Italy to take charge Twenty Gems Of AmericaHumor Famous Selections from the Works of Our Country's Foremost Laugh makers." Romances of Models, By Famous Artists Anecdotes of the Old-Time Actors By Edward Le Roy Rice. (Author of "Monarch! of Minstrelsy, from Daddy Rice to Date," etc.

sisn; I found her one morning sipping coffee at 12, with her eyes wide open, 1 She was just from the bath, and her complexion had a soft, dewy transparency, like the cheek of Venus rising Irom the sea. It was the hour, Lurly had told me. when wow -be -at te trouble of -thinking. She put away with her dimpled forefinger, aa I -entered, a cluster of rich curls that had fallen over her face, and nodded to oe a water-lily swaying to the wind when its cup is full of rain. "Lady Albina," said In my softest tone, "how 'are- you?" "Bettina," said she, addressing her maid in a voice as clouded and rich as the south wind on an aeolian, "how am I today?" The conversation fell into short sentences.

The dialogue became a mono logue. I entered upon" my declaration nun me assistance or who sup- Plied her mistress with colosrne. tont her attention alive through the incipient i.ummoiaiiL-ca. ssy ixijjtoms were, soon toiu. came to the avowal.

Her hand iay reposing on tne arm of the sofa half-buried in a muslin foulard. I took it up and pressed the cool soft fingers to my lips unforbidden. I rose and looked into her eyes for confirmation. Delicious creatures she was asleep! I never had courage to renew the sub- ject. Miss McLush seems to have for- L.

Cullen. Most of us when we bury the past, want to hold prolonged and needless obsequies over the no-account old thing. Looklnjr back, we discern that nwro nappiest when we were talking foolishly about the elusiveness of happiness. A man who appears to know what he is talking about informs us that opportunity never sits down on the doorsteps and waits after ringing an unanswered bell. See the man whose interest you want to engage--for when he tells you over the phone that he'll think it over" you're going to get a rejection slip from him by mail in the morning.

Whenever we hear a corrugated crab quote that unprovable dictum "Every 'Man has his price," we conclude, with reason that the quoter has at some time or other sold himself pretty cheaply! We know a lot of men whose boast it is that thev "Drink Like but it's queer that none of them ever -s aDie to convince his wife of that as- sertion. t- 7 word.t but its medicinal properties are nil unless it's followed by an inventory of ourselves. iwft5flfMue a j'i nnnm-mi0t0tmm0tmm0i- Jose- phlne positively refused to accnmpairr him, preferring to stay In raris, m-here. ne wa9 carrying on some rather ectUntr fjirtationa and where, during- the next lew months, she varied her "ray life by yawn- inq over her absent bridegroom' madly ardent love letters. Napoleon found conditions In Italy even.

vnru tlun he bad exnected. The ren- zle the country awhile longer." The Press Publishing Co. of them. "From a meagre $35 a week to a huge salary Is a jump so miraculous -that the opportunity the moving pictures offer is not to be ignored by Buch bread-winners. "Sybil was in a dream of hope fulfilled, for at lust she saw the way for some real study.

I like the movies, ami especially is it amusing to recognize on the screen before me one of the girla who had posed for me. "One evening last year I went to see some pictures with a very well known young artist. One of the photo playe was the usual type of ranch story with its cowboys and fiorses- and desperadoes and heroine who was in danger of being captured by the man. she did not love. As the heroine I recognized Sybil, who was quite entrancins-ly lovely in her cowgirl regalia.

"'What a 'corker she said ray friend. 'Do you think she'd pose for me for some illustrations. I'm doing for a western 'Ask her, I advised; 'here is her "Subsequent events proved that Sybil was not averse to posing for the successful young artist. He talked about hir more than I thought necessary. Then one day they came and confided to rue a beautiful secret which any child could have guessed from the way they looked at each other.

Their wedding has taken place, but Sybil has gone on with her, studies as before. 'It's all right to be married to a famous Sybil said to me the other day, 'but I want to be heard from. too. And my husband's pride in my work is the greatest inspiration any could Press Publishing occur anyirnere in tnese domains ana the waiter, whoBe 'business It is merely to serve, gets the buffets and bangs that belong to other phases of the business Oh, I say. folks, it Is unreasonable: Suppose things are wrong certainly th waiter, does riot intend to' make them wrong, lie wouia raxner nring tne very best he can.

for sometimes his livelihood depends upon what you and I and all o( us give him as a rtsult of that service. He is only a small part of the whole moving machinery, and yet you everything. It Is just as easy to send a dish back with a quiet explanation, rather than with a how-dare-you There 1 no restaurant in the 'world that will insist on you paying for a thing you don't want. Kestau rants are always' anxious to make things right, for future patronage depends on pleased patrons. While there are good, bad and indifferent waiters, the frosty frown und hasty word never got any one anything but indigestion.

It is such a simple matter to be considerate. Put yourself in iht waiter's place. of hi down-at-neel army there. 'Copyright, 1913. by The The "Lady Killer.

rDIE MAC-EE, better known as "Red" Mageiey who was a well-known song and dance man with minstrel shows some years ago. prided himself on beiha: a great "lady's man." IT Willis "Miss Albma McLush." ISS M'LUSH rarely walks. When she does, it is with the deiiu- erate majesty of a Dido; Her small, plump feet melt to tue ground like snowflakes; and her ligure sways to the indo lent motion of her limbs with a glorious grace and yieldingness quite indescribable. She was idling slow-ly up the Mall one evening just at twilight, with a servant at a short distance behind her, who, to while away the time between his steps, was employing himself in throwing stones at cows feeding upon the common. A gentleman, with a natural admiration for a splendid person, addressed her.

He might have done a more eccentric thing. Without troubliner herself to look at him she turned to her servant and requested him. With a desperate ennui, to knock tnat leiiow oowii: iujiu uuejeu iu oiueits and, as his mistress resumed her lounge, picked tip a new handful of pebbles, and tossing one at the nearest cow, loitered lazily after. Such supreme indolence was irresistible. I gave in I who never before could summon energv to sigh I to whom a declar ation was but a synonym for perspiration Iwho had only of love as a Ml 'Copyright, 1913, by Penrhyn Stanlavvs and the Movie Girl.

"Sybil came to pose for me," began Mr. Penryn Stanlaws in relating the romance of one of his models, "when she was 10 years old a tall slender girl with a lily-like-head set marvellously on a throat Burne-Jones would have taken joy in painting. "With all its sweetness and innocence her face, showed strength and determination about the mouth and chin. Sine was a born model, and therefore a de- "lieht to paint, because she fell lno the. most graceful poses and knew by a word what attitude an artist wanted her to assume.

"She had been very carefully brought up by her mother, who eat by with her knitting while Sybil posed. Her grandfather was not only one of the world's most famous inventors, but also a paint-er of no little merit, and his lovely young granddaughter seemed to inherit his talent in art. "Sybil and her mother were very poor and struggled along on what the girl made out of her -posing. Tiie ambitious child was also trying to squeeze out of their tmy. income a- few hours for weekly study at the art school, where she had made wonderful progress.

Mother and daughter were cheerful and not to be disappointed in their hopes. "The movies came into vogue, and no actress should be found more competent to take part in the pictures than the lovely models who had just the knack to obtain effective poses. I used to complain that nine out of 10 of my models went off and married just as I had them well trained, but now the movies rob me FRILLY FROCKS ARE BEST FOR LOVE SCENES. HAZEL CHENS. Hazel thinks a "girl never looks more bewitching and more like a lover's dream than when she appears in the dain-.

ty frills, the old-fashion-flgured materials and the low. slippers 'that her grandmother used to wear; "There is "something about the old-time dress which seems- to give a woman the gentle appearance and the modest manner of most men's ideal. "For my own pleasure and convenience I. much prefer the natty garments of the every-day modern woman. But honestly and truly I do believe-it is easier to win love and admiration and protection of the other sex if one wears jthe clothes of our grandmother's days.

Anywai I can enter into the spirit of a love scene with a whMe lot of realism, it seems to me, when I am dressed In an oia-iashioned gown cf figured material, frilled from waist 'to hem; my 'hair hanging In curls; white stockings and black slippers on my feet." And that is the notion or Helen Cheney, who recently wore this type of costume in a moving picture produced at the -Southern California ranch of the New York Motion Picture Co. 'Tn the Court of the Walfc? Kings" is the story that tells, SUNDAY PRESS readers of the Austrian capital and is one of the series dealing with notable cities that has aroused SO ITlUCh inter est. I nervous complaint, and of women but to gotten it altogether. Upon reflection, I'm pray for a good deliverance I yes I convinced she would not survive the ex-knocked under. Albina McLush! Thou citememof the ceremony unless, indeed, wert too exquisitely lazy.

Human sensi- she should sleep between the responses bilities cannot nold out forever. and the prayer. ABILITY AND GRIT HITCHED TOGETHER WIN. BESSIE EYTTON. Everybody knows Bessie Eytton! She Is a remarkable swimmer, a clever rider, a good shot and a capable actress.

In addition, and just incidentally like, it may be mentioned that she has beautiful red hair. When she commenced doing photoplay parts, Miss Eytton was very uncertain whether the public would like tier or not. She was really timid ana quite afraid to look at her own work. In the beginning. But she was as determined to make good finally as any human being could be.

Grit and ability hitched together are a pretty sure way of winning fame. And Bessie Eytton is an example. She is playing leads with the Edendale Selig company in Los -Angeles. One of the most, interesting features of the magazine section of the next issue of THE citt.tt-v a tr m-mo r- -n i bUNDAY FKJibb Will DC one tellinp-of the dangers of the new 'Debutante Slouch." All girls should read it. he impeachment was commonly supposed to be self-inflicted.

It was during an engagement in New Orleans with Thatcher, Primrose West Minstrels in the late eighties that Mag-ee and Tom Haley, both now dead, -liad" a little argument as to the merit of Magee's "killing" qualities. Ma gee was insistent, but Haley assumed a "show me" attitude, and Magee forthwith made arrangements to prove to Haley, that (Magee) was the real Beau Brummel of th troupe. That same day Magee ordered a huge bouquet with a lady's card attached, and arranged" to have it presented to him over the footlights in the evening. Barney Fagan of the company "got wise" to the arrangement and "fixed" the leader of the orchestra. When the flowers wero produced.

Fagan stepped forward with- a graceful bow, "J- acknowledged the gift and handed them to a waiting stage heuid who quickly ripped off the original card and replaced it with one having the name of another member of the company as the recipient. The flowers were again sent to the leader, who turn presented them over the footlights, where, as before, they were received gracefully and again sent back to the stage. Six times that night six different minstrels received that same t-unch of flowers. But Magee was not one of the six. After the performance the entire company started "joshing" him about his being neglected by his lady friend to which Magee replied: "Well, that settles it between me and Press Publishing dame.

Fifty bouquets for Fagan and the others, and not even a bud for me. I'm through." And poor "Red" never knew that he was the victim of a hoax. Jerry Cohan Wrote This. It's pretty close to 40 years ago that George M. Cohan's "daddy" wrote this song for Harper and Stansill, the famous one-legged" song and dance team, both Kince deceased.

It was called "The Girl That Took My Eye." As I was walking down street the other afternoon, Lit my cigar, put on nry kids in front of' a saloon, A vision floated past" my sight which caused the dust, to fly. Twas thie- prettiest girl I ever saw wa3 the girl that took my' CHORUS. She is so fair (break), I do declare "(break), I feel so queer whenever I am near That pretty little, girl that took my eye. I watched her as she crossed the street my heart was all aflame. She quickly waved, her handkerchief; of course.

I did the sarnie. In a moment I was at her side. "Your pardon, miss," said I. "If I am bold, pray tell me so; but then you took my eye." Chorus. I asked her if she would be mine as we stood by the door, She said she'd no objections; but her parents, they were poor.

But trifles like that I must never mind to win her I must try; And if I do I'll introduce to you the girl that took my eye. Chorus. 1 ptimettes The Restaurant Gzar Meaning the Diner Who Loves to Bully the Waiters By Sophie Irene Loeb. "Copyristit, 1914, by The HE other evening while in a res- cook and. the laundress, and "the proprie-taurant I could not help observ- tor as well.

let any mismanagement AN ENTiAifIG NEW SERIAL STORY full of mastery, adventure, love and intrigue, entitled By Clarence EMORSE without renunciation makes it a cruise on a rudderless Ship. When you talk gloomily about the inevitable day when tne plumed wagon will draw up at Black your door high sign. you are handing death the The man who seems modest to his friends often is the one who braggs most lnveterately about himself to his wife! Another reason why we feel that there is something wrong about us is that we've never been able to work up a cent's worth of 2 el ivian-or woman! The' untempted ones live tranquilly in their cold sequestered cloister out tne tempted ones fight and win or fall in th opn- Our understanding about Nirvana is that it's a place where nobody criti- cises or knocks anybody or anything, OS iii -r ing the czac-like attitude oi a diner adjacent to me. Almost 'from the moment he sat down until, he left, there was some- thing wrong -with everytning. "Here, waiter, there's a spot on- thisr Take it away." "I ordered tnis meat wen uone aria ii isn't cooked at all." ill' have the patience off- Wait-I 5J This autocrat at the dininir table evi- dently presumed that since he paid tor a -3 dinner he could irv, tCt'tC: abuse the waiter to Jfcf jff T-ij his heart's content, -lfs or rather to satisfy Ilia Aiiix ffr nathetic thinz about t'' inn tht' fi -2 it is that there are "oi lo.b many, many more like him.

The waiter has to stand for the shortcomings of the butcher, the baker, the By G. M. Payn can't wait nere wrp YrT "Tv3 night on these Ej That waiter musts "WJI wheh, because of the excellence of its construction and the baf-lirS TuXtS my.steries- ha been attributed by many to nn Jtt7 Rberts ehart, but which THE PRESS is In a position to state positively was NOT written by this -gifted STARTS IN THE PRESS MONDAY. S'Matter, Pop?" 4C dCX VOU UtJ ME, MVPoP i6ET -A'Pouce Tb SHOOT i- iTE. WOULD MAM lQr46 "7 To HIP A 1 )oti6-J CENT -3.