The Indiana Gazette from Indiana, Pennsylvania • Page 7

"nrtV I'M yr-jW; ft 'V 1 ''V, $, 1 "i (V igy, McCreery PITTSBURGH emi i-An nua June 23rd All Yard Goods Remnants Goods Only Program For Big Naval Stow at Panama Canal, WARSHIPS OF MANY NATIONS An Embarrassing Moment. There are moments when a man would sooner be anywhere than where he Is. Take the case of the young man who was talking with an heiress wbo can 'write checks with ttve figures. "Which do you consider the most conducive to happiness, Mr. Giggles- worth, money or beauty?" she asked.

What say? The heiress Is as plain as the law pecmits heiresses to be, -If the 'young man said "beauty" the lady would be offended. If he said "money" sue might consider It a proposal. Then he rallied. "Having neither," he said, "I'd rather not be quoted." Cleveland Plain Dealer. He Saw the Joke.

A hearty laugh had gone almost around over the story of the fisherman who. to locate the place on the lake where he had good luck, cut a nick In the side of his boat. "Almost around," for the Englishman sat solemn and silent About five minutes later, however, he awoke with a roar of laughter, and when asked the trouble, replied: "Well, wouldn't It be a corking good Joke if that fisherman got a different boat the next time he went out ATI Ancient Mariner's Tale. A solemn man loaned forward as the train approached the seaside resort. "You soe that boardln 1 house over there.

I can toll you a funny story about that. 1 was stayln 1 there thirty years since, and there was a 'usbnud and wife there, pleasant poo pie. One day after dinner 'e stiys to 'er, as any 'usband might say to any Wife, -TOSH MHO thorn And she says to Mm', 1 us any wife might say to any 'usband, 'Get 'em And 'e says, ask you for no more boots." 1 "Well, is that all?" asked the victim as the ancient mariner paused for breath. "No. 'E went out at once and drown ed 'iiriself In those very new pair fresh on." And the ancient ranrinor was ob viously gratified by the sensation which the climax of his funny story Guardian.

Nature's Gustom Deep. Breathing. "Learn to sit or stand erect and breathe deeply." says a health expert. "Remember that yonr blood cannot be properly washed wltto half a lungful of air any more than you can take a proper bath in a few pints of water." Everybody must know what a Joy there la in the deep breathing of the pure air of the morning. The lungs respond to the stimulus much as the body reacts from dash of cold Disnatch.

summers of adult existence, representing less than flve months of activity altogether, but during this time be will normally devour nearly 0.50 gypsy moth caterpillars or pupae as big ap himself. A single pair have been observed to eat 2,000 caterpillars witliin eight weeks, gluttony almost beyond belief. Cep tury. Suitable Match. "That giri nas shocking ways!" "Maybe Mint's the reason she married an electrician "-Baltimore American The Legs In Swimming.

The correct stroke of the legs Is ex nctly like that of a frog's hind legs Watch one of these frogs and copy Ills style. Von cannot ilo better The logs are drawn up together slowly, not with a Jerk, until they are gathered in close under the body Then -with a sudden, quick spring they are shot out behind, the ankles being turned so that the soles of the feet present as flat a surface as possible to the water and so offer more resistance from which to make progress. As the kick Is made the legs should be spread out In the shape of a letter V. but not allowed to sink far clpwu under the surface of the water. If they kick downward at an angle instead of out straight behind much of their energy is wasted in unnecessarily'forcing the body out of the water Instead of forward.

Away buck in D.cucinber We up a tune lo remember All bcfuiierKiHrif'SS of June, Bui prypp'il wo arp savin' That sk'f'H Ino Oerocly glow, An' vc'i-i- icmp'it! to be prayln' Km ii IHtln ilasli n' (siiiiw! Hern is June witli Its rosos, An' in-r surm Is low an' Wliilp willow gently (loxes ilie land nn' watpr nieot. Hi'i-p Is June, iilctiiro splendid SP.I. 'p Hiiiniiier's Rnldeji An in It's oii'Ic'l UH kiukin' Jes 1 'lie same! "Going to England." The "i Wlglit inhabitants are not aloiu- in spcMking of "going to England' they leave their own fragment of the kingMnm. A patriotic Cornish inn also "goes to England" when be crosses ihe Tainar. Similarly Inhabitants of the Balkan peninsula of "going to Europe" when I leave their own corner of the conti- I curious contrast with the pe-o- ploof our nwii island.

We regard ourselves ns both of and iu "Europe," and accordingly it only "the continent" that fisit. The record in the splendid Isolation line is probably held by that minister of the Cumbraea. in the Clyde, who prayed for a blessing upon "the inhabitants of Great aud Little Cumbrae and the adjacent islanns of Great Britnin and Mirror. True Values True Values save $155 buy one of these new cecilian players for $395 (Former Price, $550.) We have but few' left yews now. Beautiful or mahogany cases; rich designs, Your old piano an, exchange value.

glVIAUt. DOWN PAYfylENT! gAUANCE MONTHLY, Write for further i.j...nii, PA, Curious Epitaphs. Old New England graveyards are not the only ones which contain curious epitaphs. The old time dweller of Maine who "died of a falling tree," as his headstone asserts, bad a fellow in misfortune in t'arou" Austria, as Is shown by W. A.

Balllle-Grohman's "The Tyrol and the Tyrolese." A wooden slab, painted with the representation of a prostrate tree under which lies a man in spread eagle attitude, bears testimony to the violent death of "Johruin Lemberger, aged fifty-two and three-quarters years This upright and virtuous youth was squashed by a ffcilling tree." The record of Michael Gerstner is even more succinct and convincing. He "climbed up, foil down and was dead." A Matter of Small Moment, A local British official In India wanted military protection against what he considered to be the danger of an Indian rising jind traveled all the way to Simla to lay before Lord Kitchener, the commander in chief, the state of affairs in his district and to urge that troops should be sent to support the civil arm, kord Kitchener declined to do anything of the sort, "But, my dear sir, do you realise that I may be murdered, in ray bed one night?" expostulated ttie Kitchener eyed him over for a ote and then said coldly, "Well, what of it?" Queer Fish, Same curious tisb, found In South waters breathe with lungs ss well ns gills. Purlug the dry pon the flsli curls up ut the bottom of burrow, with its tail over Us face, and. renmins there until the rise of water dissolves the plug with which it Stops the entrance to the Unrrow. The Origin of Algebra.

If Dinplinntus of Alexandria, fourth century of the Christian era. was not the inventor of algebra, tbeu it is not known to whom the honor belongs. To Diophautus honor is generally given. The Arabians claim that the invention belongs to one of their countrymen. Mohammed Ren-Musa.

wtio flourished about the middle of the ninth century it Is tbat the Arabians int.i'odiu-i-d altrebrn Europe by way of Ital.v through Leonardo, a merchant of wbo Imd lived among the Arabs ot Leonardo's treatise wns written in 1-02 Some Very Pretty Names. Elere are some names taken from a i jury list in Kins, the year in whicd Richard I'nmiwuli succeeded His ther as pj'oiertor of England: Faint- Not Hewitt. Uedcemed (Jomptou. Stand-Fast on the- High Stinger, He- Courteous Cole, Stmrch-the-Scriptnres Moreton. Kill-Sin IMmple.

Be-Knlthfui Joiner, right-the-Uood White. Klower, Weep-Not Billing. Uupentmice Avis, and so on. No Encouragement, Mrs. Short Oh, dear, I do wish we were rich! Just think of the good WP could do If we OHI.V had lots of money! Mr.

Short-True, my dear, hut we can do a great- of good In a quiet way now. Mrs Short- Yes, of course, qo will ever hear yf It, Just What She Needed. There is an old saying that "There is a remedy for every ill." It is sometimes years before you find the remedy exactly suited to your case. Mi s. Rachel Cribley, Beaver Dam, 0., was sick for two years with stomach trouble and constipation.

She writes, "My neighbors spoke so enthusiastically of Chamberlain's Tablets that I procured a bottle of them. A few days' treatment convinced me that; they were just what I needed. I con- tinuecl to use them for several weeks and they cured me." For sale by all dealers. Chamberlain's Tablets Unequalled. Mrs.

Rose Green, Wabash, writes, "Recently I used two bottles of Chamberlain's Tablets and found them splendid for stomach trouble and constipation, in fact, I have never seen their equal." For sale by all dealers. Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Di- arrhoea Remedy. This remedy always wins the good opinion, if not the praise of all who use it. Mrs. F.

A. Hood, Burrows, writes, "I have found Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy a positive cure for cramps and summer complaint." For sale by all dealers. Why Suffer From Rheumatism. When relief from rheumatic pain 1 may be had at so small a cost it is surprising that anyone should fail to avail himself of it. Joseph Capparelli, Canastota, N.

suffered intensely with pains due to rheumatism in his limbs for a long time. A friend told him about Chamberlain's Lina- ment. One application relieved him wonderfully, and a few days' treatment effected a cure. Many others have found quick relief by applying 1 this linament. For sale by all dealers.

President of thts United States Will Stand on Bridge of the Historic Oregon as Vessels Pass From Ocean to New York to Convey Him From Hampton Roads. I The Meet tit' representing tho nut ions of the world; which will pass through the canal at Its formal opening next will be I by the famous old Oregon, i with I'resiilvtit Wilson en I he bridge. When the licet has Ihrmigh tho canal It will steam tmri Invanl t.o the Golden Onto ami will tho I'nna- mil-Pacific exposi'timi at Sun Francisco. Tho president has determined now to do full honor to llu i exposition by male- i Ing his advent upon the scene at the head of an nriiiiidn the like of which the world lias never seen. Also he will i redeem his long standing promise to Colonel (Jcoriro OopthaN by not only visiting but formally opening the great Panama camil.

lie will miike his pas- sage through that waterway on the battleship Oregon, standing shoulder to shoulder with Hoar Admiral Charles E. Clark, retired, wbo captained the ironclad on her famous Spanish war cruise, circumnavigating South America. Also on I lie Oregon will be most of the members of President Wilson's cabinet. The president, according to the present program, will leave Washington for Hampton Roads, accompanied by his family, on the yacht May- flower on March 5, 1915. The inter- national fleet will have'been gathering in the Roads since Jan.

I. Other Nations to Send Ships. So far nine of the maritime countries have signified their intention to take part In the great naval parade through the canal, and it is certain there will be other participants announced before the end of the year. The countries that already have accepted are the Argentine Republic. Cuba, France, Germany.

Great Britain. Italy, Japan, Portugal and Russia The entire Atlantic fleet of the American navy will form the nucleus around which the international naval forces will- gather. The officers and men of the licet will be the nation's gnosts make excursions from to the capital and to nearby eastern cities while are being made for the long cruise from bay to the Golden Gate. trfmttit lyqrfc hilt.ftl Of nrtts she luttl it i And wraps afitt A dwell 01 fitit Iii the emi sfia-we'nt awH; Still tnahtess as before. But, lo, little And somewhat shy A cotton dress nil 1 And that the Woi'se fot Her only ormimen't toad 'fucked loosely In her Yet long before tiie i She caught a millionaire-.

-New WHY PRESIDENT WILSDM DROPPED THE NAMEimj wns a -at rf to 1800. Held That Three. Levity In Hearer and The secret Is out at last of 3 why the Thomas came to be- from the name of Thomas Wilson. The mystery was disclosure at the reunion of 13H? afhms of 1S89 at Wosleyan colfrgfe. town, Conn.

President Wilson Wesleyiiii from 1888 Ing In the course of a call professor a discussion and their effort on success in UPe. cording to the story, Mr. WftMoni that the effect of a name tlrely to its formation in wraHMnt i' syllables. Though "some with opportunity," It wns almost the future president fto achieve success If tagged that ran till In dactyls. Oxi J8w hand, success was certain, ST name consisted of one- spondee, the reason being tUat man mind is pleasingly run of one long, two siiort ffistffl $Bhea.

two long syllables. The next best sort ofi naizeoj, sou believed, was formed ef' dees, like "Woodrow Wifcwsm." the effect of the four long a was aided by the alliteration, worst sort of nil was the xmasar ed of three spondees, fo? of gravity In such a name duced a reaction of levity btAla ttaiwl hearer and Uie bearer. 1 After the ceremonies at Hampton Roads the president will take up his quarterns on the great super-Dreadnought New Y'ork, which will be nt that time the most formidable vessel iu commission In the world. Then the start will be made for Colon, with the New York IcacMng. The ships will form a column many miles in length, for it is estimated that there will be between eighty and a hundred ships in the procession.

Must of these will be of the most modem typo. Short Delay at Colon. Arriving at Colon within a week there will be a delay of a couple of days while arrangements are being made to pass the vessels through the TOPPING" "Monte Waterbury a piece," Says Facetious tn tiie course of an a of the first of this month's between the United States assS! land E. B. Fltzhamoa, "reStee sent over to report the ift London Times, says in the Ksw Times: It may be suld that cricket, old chap," for Lovci to come over here and p-uliJ- glorious victory, while ColftaeJ velt Is away exhibiting Ms to the king of Spain.

But great strategy comes la Tjhat part of the campaign, iui ndfitrfe every one knows, King been actively interested" tma: Lord Wlmborue took his polo stud to Madrid to happened at MeadowbrooMu. That final score of goals ft must have looked pretty Madrid, while In dear, isn't It topping? Eh; They will forget tants ami spend a flue old well mellowed midnight goals to four is "some Jack Joyner. Mr. has taught them to say at NCT By the way, I would not canal. This will be done with all cere- ari -article" for the august Didn't Take Buit, Miss (lnslnnatlnglyi-I dislike my imwu; horrid.

Mr. (ahsentlyi- I fear It's too Ittte chnnuo it nuw silence. -IMttshnrgh. Press- Mistake. 1 "I understand you I'uteruilncd, number pcopjy at I'Huiwr last ulghf "That's thought." replied Mr my wiftt gays i Washington Quite Musical, "Is your daughter fond of music?" luml uf it," replied Mr "Nn matter flow suupfU she seems like VYa.shm.gtnH star gse For HIS Photograph, Miss Wyst- -Ami I may really keep tills photograph Mr Siuiluns? Simpkwy itlutieivdi peiighied, I'm euva! JSliss ilater to bur miijdi r-Mat-je, take this photograph anil whenever the original t-nlls pot In don't allow me jo do If goes (w longer shall go I S'UI allsw spy pwrt Suitor Van mam Why, sir.

t' we Ml Doctor will eontesj the election with Vance Oormi'k, the Democratic nominee, and Dean Lewis, the Washington caiulidat--'. Doctor Lewis is a b.it his scholastic truining n.is him no such experience as l)oi-tor baugh; he is man of hUh ideals, but lar-ks Uie poise, judgment, sound common sense and admiui.itruUve and executive eAperlent-e which are so conspicuously found iu Dor-tor Brumbaugh. Mr, Vance McCormlck is likewise a man line character and high ideals, but Uio revelations oi bis extravagant expenditures in his primary campaign have produced a distinct shock, and he c.ertuinly t'ails to measure up to the intellectual and executive attainments of Doctor Brumbaugh, Moreover, he is running as a Democrat, the avowed defender, and supporter of the t'ulse economic, imlus- trial and tariff doctrines of the present administration, and his election would he justly construed as vindication of tlie jii-iiiont destructive ness policy and a confession that Pennsylvania Indorsed the blundering attacks on business and-Industry that have been such lamentable features of the present congress. Doctor Brumbaugh typifies all the characteristics and attributes which should disun-'iiisi. the chief -execuiiyi- of this comnionwealt'i.

He ha- scholarly platform power, lie is ucu.iaiutpd uy actual contact With every grade ol 1 our complicate I citizenship; he has courage, pcise, breadth of judgment. experience and execmlve ability of the highest order; his natural bent huJa always been toward social, industrial and economic progress; he is tainted with factional politics; lie the courage ot his convictions; he has moral strength ami the broa 'est intellectual culture, As governor he will his own jjian in tnery of Ihe word, and the brilliancy of his record as chief executive will reflect 9ft every 3 uf Uv I mouy, the line heing headed by the ancient launch the gift of the Ainerli-an government to t.Ue I government of Prance. The Oregon is to follow with tlie presidential party. 1 including Admiral ('lurk, the cabinet. members of the senate and house of representatives and distinguished guests.

Allowing one hour's time for the passage through the locks of each ship, and day for Its transit through the canal, the whole fleet should' be transferred from the Atlantic to the Pacific in tho course of about four days. When the many ships have made the pnssnge and have anchored In Panama bay fresh supplies of coal, oil and visions will be taken aboard, and the procession will start for the north, It Is probable a short stop will be made at Snn Diego, to do honor to the Panama-Californhv opposition In progress tit that plnce in connection? with the canal celebration. If nil goes well the first vessels of tho international fleet should puss through tlie flolcloh Onto by April li)15, and gathering of fighting craft in San Francisco bay, whci-p other warships will have arrived, will be one of the mlghtliwt t'vor seen. Just how long tho president remain in Sun Krancisro mul his plans for returning to Washlugtan have not (li'teruiiiu'tl Sorority Bars All "Flunkers." No ptM-sun who has evur fulled In a college study can become muni bur of (iaiiunn I'i (t'unumi, the honurury just I'staljlishud til the Iviti- State Agric-ultnral Not only "dunkors" excludwl. luft sjons must have pusltivply high so hoi' nr.slil|i in coiUigc wurlv, pcrfJomiUty and.

activity In urs'nniHatiwis In Ql 1 (ler to bp soicctml for mombershlp, i sorority is conQncd ta glfis worlj economies, Times in this negligee If I should Lord Northelifff would have me hum-led to- 41 of London to die on the blocte If every oue on the had played the sanw braiMi that its cnptnin dld-but use? There never was but 03M? Waterbury In polo annals, the costers in London's east fl "a bloomin' marsterBle.ce,,'.'' TO FIND YOUR UMBRELLA. Identification Cards fir London Adopt simple innovation' to asstartt ful folks to them In pnblle te from Berlin, lo future erw horse cab tn the German- be provided with a Uttle. with cftfdj bearing the number of the vehicle, Tl is requested to help bos, That the Introduction the same method for tracing erty more qnicKly of place is shown by ttifr fart year no fewer than found and deposited hy drivers and cotuliictoys The Hritlsh spon-slble for the fact number of thoso objects brellas, of which Wti found. Next come grips ft? JO.llM, Navy Cgmes thi Pr. Uoeiune uf Berliu Discovered new foot." llf ye and otlim- now 4f are.