St. Louis Post-Dispatch from St. Louis, Missouri • Page 155

ELAINE VIETS illiillliflf WmmM jFiVTJL HOjMlE There Ought To Be A Law FURNISHING LIGHTING Come In Today Sale Ends 11792 Traditional Mirror QR4065-3-Traditional mirror with antique gold finish with beveled glass. Ht. 35 Width $89.95 rV wine on your table recently? If the answer's no, you're in line with 91 percent of American adults. But 55 percent of ABA lawyers slurp imported wine. They're also way ahead of us in sipping Scotch, champagne, cognac and brandy.

But ABA lawyers are not snobs. They swill more than their share of gin, rum, tequila and beer. About the only thing I couldn't find statistics on was Sterno. These lawyers don't neglect the courts, either. Thirty-two percent play tennis.

That's five times more than the average American. They also run more. Must be all that ambulance chasing. ABA Journal subscribers are hard-driving types. Almost 70 percent own imported cars, including Mercedes, Volvos and BMWs.

But it would be wrong to paint them all as over-privileged drunks. What about the .2 percent who drive a Yugo? And don't forget those poor ABA members (18 percent) with less than $10,000 in their investment portfolios. Probably spent the rest on wine, watches and summer homes. You could also say they are persons of discrimination. The ABA Journal, without a blush, says four in five of its subscribers are men.

Young men, too. They aren't raking in the rewards after a lifetime of hard work. "The average age is 42." My, just think how rich they'll be when they're old. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? If one side has one, the other side has to get one. When launched, they can rarely be recalled.

They screw up everything forever. What do you call a lawyer with a stash of The average subscriber of the American Bar Association Journal. That's no joke. If you're looking for another reason to hate lawyers, try the ABA Journal's merchandising guide. It's designed to impress advertisers and disgust the rest of us.

You won't believe how much money the nation's legal eagles get their claws on. In the wrong hands, these statistics could be an indictment of lawyers' greed. Good thing I got them, instead. The ABA Journal modestly calls itself "the only national magazine written by lawyers for lawyers." It says almost 60 percent of the nation's lawyers belong to the ABA. "ABA Journal subscribers are one of the most affluent groups in America," it said.

Let's examine the counselors' evidence. "The average household net worth is $658,800." That's rich, all right. It gets better or worse. The average home is valued at $260,900. Their second homes aren't too shabby, either they average $179,600.

But lawyers have more than j) Torchiere if QS977FC-Crafted in acid till jf if etched glass with polished w1 IJLl flemish finish. Also available )aw yjsjjp in pink etched glass. uZy if (3-way) Ht.67". money. They also have taste.

ABA Journal readers buy more expensive watches, suits and shoes than the rest of us. Last year, less than one American in 10 bought new business suits. But seven in 10 lawyers got new threads and spent a whopping $831 each. They have an all-consuming interest in good booze. Have you had any imported dinner If you're looking for I another reason to hate lawyers, fe4 5.

"-oX OWUf1.1v(irvramir Wja lamp with jl parcnmem pieaieo HL 30V Aia try the ABA Journal's Traditional Five Light Chandelier Polished solid brass. $7095 (While shades optional exira) 7 i merchandising guide. -rf Look For Our Color Flyer In The Post Dispatch. QNDEX Ceiling Fixtures AU142BW-PoIished brass step design with etched opal blown glass. Also available in gloss white step design.

Dia. 12'. AU143BW Dia. 14" $49." AU144BW Dia. 17" $69." V7 6 TIMEOUT The Eclectic Shopper goes "boo!" Update: Professor Gwendolyn Drew 8 COVER STORY Not that most of us will ever have to worry about it, but what's a person to do after her reign as Miss America has ended? Debbye Turner one of the few St.

Louisans who has had to face that problem finds that things aren't so different after all. 13 GOOD HEALTH How to select a pediatrician 14 COOK'S TOUR Pumpkins aren't only for carving A little romance, a little horror it's just the combination for Cahokia writer Kathryn Meyer Griffith, whose characters frequently comefanged 18 AT LARGE In the Missouri woods, be careful how you choose your snacks or your poison! 20 PUZZLER 23 LOOK HERE See These And More All On Sale Now! Des Peres 12880 Manchester Rd. 965-5005 OPEN: Mon. Thun. Ftl, 9-9 Tut.

Wed. Sal. Sun. Noon-4 VISIT THE CITY STORE AT ITS NEW LOCATION St. Louis City 1218 S.

Vandeventer 531-2600 OPEN: Sat- 9.30-5 LIGHTING COVER: Dr. Debbye Turner, the veterinarian who reigned as Miss America 1990, relaxes with her pet cat, Snicker. Photo by Scott Dine of the Post-Dispatch staff. St. Louis Post-Dispatch Magazine, Sunday, October 25, 1 992 5.