St. Louis Post-Dispatch from St. Louis, Missouri • Page 44

4D ST.LDUIS POST-DISPATCH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1992 REVIEW FILM One Joke Doesn't Make Funny Movie SYDNEY OMARR Aries: Return Of 'Rich Uncle9 other comics from SCTV and "Saturday Night Live." And It fails again here. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey are mindless slugs, repeating stupid, cliched lines. Now, mindless slugs repeating stupid cliched lines can be funny for a few minutes on a Saturday night, helping one fall asleep on the living room couch, but they don't make an entire film. There's a plot, of sorts, Involving Rob Lowe as a smarmy television producer who thinks he can get rich off the cable access antics of Myers and Carvey. Interesting, however, is that while he watches the show and tells his bed-partner how funny they are and how rich he is going to get because of them, he never finds a single thing to smile about, much less laugh over.

Anyone who has watched Myers and Carvey on television knows what they can do. Here they just do it longer and more often, over and over again Tia Carrere adds some brightness as Cassandra, a singer desired by both Myers and Lowe, and Brian Doyle-Murray brings some real style in a brief appearance as Noah Vander-hoff, who owns Noah's Ark-cades, and who is hustled by Lowe into sponsoring Myers and Carvey. Lots of tasteless jokes, and no need to pay attention if you miss a punch line, don't worry. It will be back again in 10 minutes or so. (Clarkson, Des Peres, Esquire, Eureka, Halls Ferry, Kenrick, Mid Rivers, Northwest Square, Ronnie's, St.

Charles, Union Station.) "WAYNE'S WORLD" MPAA rating: PG. Running time: 1:35. By Joe Pollack Of the Post-Dispatch Staff HAL ROACH, the great director of movie comedies, marked his 100th birthday recently, and to interviewers across the media spectrum, he had a firm answer when asked about making successful comedies. "You can't make a comedy more than 30 minutes long," he said. "You just run out of joke." All those who suffer through "Wayne's World" will see that Roach was right on target.

Hollywood movie executives have a fixation on the young, but they don't give young people credit for any intelligence. The executives think that if Details require attention scenario includes pets, dependents, relative recently returned from trip. Where written material is concerned, revise and review, shorten. Taurus figures prominently. PISCES (Feb.

19-March 20): You're first attracted mentally, then you'll be physically drawn to individual recently part of scenario. Means you could be very much in love. Focus on discovery, travel, unique family situation. IF FEB. 15 is your birthday: You have unusual voice, sense of drama, appreciate art, music, luxury and you can be self-indulgent to point of having "sweet tooth." You are romantic, idealistic, sensitive and will fight when cause is right.

Taurus, Libra, Scorpio persons play significant roles in your life. Current cycle accents marital status, commercial venture, sale or purchase of property, Including home. If married, you might be anticipating addition to family. June will be most memorable month. NOTE: Horoscopes have no basis in scientific fact and should be read for entertainment, not guidance.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Focus on family celebration based on return of "rich uncle." Emphasis on entertainment, display, color, good money news. Gift received adds to apparel. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Relative returns household product you had given up for lost. You're on more solid emotional-financial ground. You'll deal successfully with older individuals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): By 10 p.m. message received confirming basic views, travel plans. Spotlight on romance, variety, adventure, discovery, gain via written word. Possessions worth more than originally estimated. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Attention revolves around durable goods, mechanical appliances, plumbing, automobile radiator.

Circumstances will take dramatic turn in your favor. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Individual who attempts to deceive you is in for rude awakening. Canard and perpetrator discovered in dramatic manner. Your name cleared, credibility restored.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-SepL 22): Time limit set, you'll have more responsibility, authority and chance to hit financial jackpot. Focus on organization, putting together puzzle pieces. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct.

22): Long-range prospects emphasized. Open lines of communication. Attention revolves around travel, continued search for "right person." Focus on career, prestige, promotion. Aries represented. SCORPIO (Oct.

23-Nov. 21): Those who insisted you would go back to "old ways" will be proven wrong. Scenario highlights independence, courage, fresh start in new direction. Love will not be a stranger. Leo is involved.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Emphasis on direction, motivation, hidden resources. You'll get second "emotional wind." Just when it seems defeat stares you in face, you fight back and win. CAPRICORN (Dec.

22-Jan. 19): Spotlight on credibility, public relations, legal rights, possible partnership, marital status. Expand horizons, take seriously offer to travel. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): they take a popular television comic, funny for 10 or IS minutes as a stand- up or In a skit, and put him or her in a full-length film, the young will flock to It like lemmings to the sea. This thinking has failed in a variety of previous efforts, using Cheech and Chong, the Mackenzie Brothers and Dial 621-6666 to place on ad in Post-Dispatch Classified. horoscopes, call Calls cost $1 per For extended (900) 370-2622. minute. "ITS MAGIC." i ii im mmm tm i tLiM I Wi 1 Pops at Powell Concert 534-1700 missed out on being named Mr.

Universe but got the part in "South Pacific" partly because of his physique. But Connery says he was no where near the level of today's bodybuilders or even some of his fellow contestants. "When I stood next to some of them at Mr. Universe, I looked like a girl." A girl? If that statement sounds sexist, well, Connery has heard that Joel Siegel, GOOD MORNING AMERICA PICTURES 1 .50 per ticket added to all phone orders) Welcomed by WRTH February 16, 3:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.

Tickets on sale at the Powell Symphony Hall Box Office and all MetroTix outlets. $10 "Evening concert also includes a special performance by the Old St Louis Levee Band! Coming soon at the Pops: "Salute to Sinatra" March 13 and 15 iTMOLSEDEffiOlVE charge before. Every since Connery talked about hitting women on a Barb ara Walters TV special several years ago, he's been stamped as a unrepen tant cave man. Not true, says Connery. He insists the statements he made to Walters were taken out of context "What I had said was that you could do worse things to a woman.

You could take their identity away and reduce the person to nothing. Barbara was looking for something and she edited it in such a way that I came out ALL SEATS $2.95 (To Capacity) RMS Only All Movies Included CINE' CENTRAL 24 Hour Movie Information Hotline 8224900 BARGAIN MATINEE $3.50 Daily Until (RHS) I DOLBYULTRA STEREO SOUND like a wife beater, which I'm not. Visit our Dells SORRY, NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT COUPONS Kenrick Union Station Connery says he meant to explain his belief that couples sometimes get Connery From page three black shoes, arch slightly. Leaning back in his chair, he exudes the calm confidence of a big, powerful man who's never worried too much about what others think of him. Connery explains.

Ever since he began making movies, he has hired an auditor to check the books and make sure he was getting all money due him. "I've been doing it since the very beginning," he says. "It used to be a policy to blackball people who were difficult in that way." Not that it stopped Connery. He first faced off against Jack Warner at Warner Bros, over a film Connery made with Joanne Woodward, "A Fine Madness." The film ran over budget and Connery learned that Warner wasn't planning to pay him for a week of overtime. "My agent told me to drop it, forget it," he recalls.

He didn't Connery sued Warner and the case was settled out of court. Connery was paid what he was owed, with interest "Not too long after that I was in France and a friend invited me to a party one he says. "It turned out it was Jack Warner's birthday party. My friend opened the door and Warner was standing there. He asked us if we knew each other.

Warner said, 'Yeah, the SOB sued me for But Warner didn't stay mad. It was just business to him." It apparently has been just business for Connery as well, ever since he made his debut in a stage production of "South Pacific" in 1951. Most people think Arnold Schwarzenegger was the first to parlay a bodybuilding career into movie fame. But Connery, who left Scotland to pursue bodybuilding in London, is the true father of all manly men. He 7 DAY THX Children Under 5 NO TALKING Jut mmmmWst-1i i Mftfcrtniii wMitiimmiiir i i ttm i nun STEREO SURROUND ADVANCE into physical confrontations that are more complicated than simply victim SUUND IN POLICY In All TICKET ACOUSTICALLY Not Admitted a I After 6:00 p.m.

I A For(PG-13)(R) A Movies. and victimizer. When emotions run SALESI Auditoriums PERFECT AUDITORIUMS (Except RHS) high, he said, anything can happen. SNEAK PREVIEW SAT. AT FLYER" (PG-13) DES PERES R0NNIES WALT DISNEY PICTURES "THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE" SILVER SCREEN PARTNERS II TITUS-RAUL GALDONE SP1 ttlMMM If Kilt (11 II PTCTHH Mil Ml TIM.

"I was in Coventry once and I saw a man hitting a woman across the street from me. I ran over and pulled him off. There was no doubt that if he had continued, she'd be in serious MttiHcNHY MANCINI immm GENERA! AUDIENCES ivmii hi i All Agos Admitted aS- I Pow. Houw Plot. Al Lr mm I.

Stu. 231-9000 HANO THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE 12:15 2:25 (RHS 4:50) 7:20 9:40 11:50 trouble. But then she hauled off and NOW SHOWING WAYNE'S WORLD! IHX. 7:10 9:30 11:30 NO PASSES OR COUPONS ACCEPTED hit me!" S4 SO UNLIMITED I PARKING WITH SAME DAY RECEIPT FROM RED LOT ENTER FROM E. SIDE OF I8TH ST ACROSS FROM MAIN PARKING LOT ENTRANCE WAYNE'S WORLD I 1:10 3:20 (RHS 5:25) 7:15 9:45 11:45 EDIFn RPPCM TftMATftEC EI 11:50 2:15 IRHS 4:501 7:30 10:00 I Has a woman he was involved with MEDICINE MAN I 12:30 2:35 (RHS 4:50) 7:009:15 11:30 Anu nc rdeat unticE ncrcrriuc 12:00 1:40 3:30 (RHS 5:20) 7:00 HT I Anu ncr.Dparunticc ncTcrrivB 1:30 3:30 7:15 BE SHINING THROUGH 12:30 (RHS 4:30) 7:109:50 NEW PRICE POLICY UNION STATION ONLY All Seats Before 6:00 p.m.

$3 00 Evenings ADULTS S6 OO'CHILD S3 00 JUICE 12:30 2:30 (RHS 4:45) 7:30 9:30 11:30 iff GRAND CANYON 1:00 (RHS 4:15 7:00 9:40 FINAL ANALYSIS I 1:00 7:00 9:30 12:00 HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE UAun that onritt tue roam c. 12:00 2:40 (RHS 5:10 7:20 9:30 11:40 Iff THX I WHEN IVattisisijUJoridl FRIEDGREEN TOMATOES! 12:00 2:30 (RHS 5:00) 7:40 0:15 1 FLOAQA VISIT BUGSY 9:00 TP; MEDICINEMAN! 1:15 5:00 7:209:40 11:45 ever hit him? Connery nods. "And when they hit you, you're aware that if you do anything in response, you can do real harm," he says. "But it's hard to control yourself." But Connery was able to control himself when he unexpectedly ran into Walters a few days after the special aired. "She was a little embarrassed," says Connery, pausing for a beat and with a sly smile worthy of James Bond, "but not for long." SHINING THROUGH 1:15 (RHS 4:30) 7:00 9:30 WAYNE'S WORLD! Manchester Rd.

at I GRAND CANYON 1-270 822-1555 I 1:305:307:259:30 11:30 1:30 1:30 rrl I I 1 11 I Tl I 3J UUlvAI I Ti WAYNE'S WORLD! 1:00 3:00 7:159:30 JUICE 1 :45 4:45 7:005:1511:30 FATHER OF THE BRIDE PS 12:40 2:50 (RHS 5:05) 7:15 9:25 FINAL ANALYSIS .1 FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! 12:00 2:25 (RHS 4:50) 7:30 10:00 JFK 00 4:45 7:109:4012:0 12:45 IRHS 4:35) 8:15 GRAND CANYON FATHER OF THE BRIDE 12:302:45 (RHS 5:20 7:40 9:50 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST :45 5:15 8:00 10:30 an 1:10 3:10 IRHS 5:10) LAST BOY SCOUT THE PRINCE OF TIDES 1:15 (RHS 4:40) 7:20 9:55 004:50 7:009:15 THE PRINCE OF TIDES 8:1510:45 11 "A COMPLETELY FASCINATING ADVENTURE. SEAN CONNERY'S PERFORMANCE IS REALLY A JOY TO BEHOLD." -David Sheehan. NBC-TV "SPECTACULARLY THRILLING. 'MEDICINE MAN' IS A FRESH, COMPELLING MOVING TALE WITH REAL PEOPLE AND REAL CONFLICTS. IT'S A WONDER.

SHINING THROUGH I Northwssl Plazo I HOOK (HI 00 4:45 7:15 9:45 Pffl I Moll 291-4000 :45 (RHS 5:20) BUGSY UAunTMAT onrvt tue roAni eA ANIMAL DOCTOR 30 5:20 0:0010:30 BUGSY 7:3010:45 12:302:50 7:35 9:45 HI JFK FRIED GREEN TOMATOES I 11:50 2:25 (RHS 4:55) 7:30 10:00 15 5:00 8:30 THE LAST BOY SCOUT 9:0011:15 EJ iff ADV. OF GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE KUFFS AS FOR CONNERY, WELL. HE IS SIMPLY rrv! 12:00 1:40 3:38 IRHS 5:20) 7:009:00 12:30 2:45 (RHS 5:151 7:159:15 894-7878 THE GREATEST ACTOR ALIVE. SHINING THROUGH 11:45 2:20 (RHS 5:05) 7:40 10:15 MEDICINEMAN 1:30) 7:00 9:10 HA- 12:00 2:15 (RHS -Hal Hinson, THE WASHINGTON POST L64 ILL. 1S9 398-8383 JUiCEi 2:25 2:45 (RHS 5:10) 7:20 9:30 SHINING THROUGH 7:1510:00 FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! 12:00 2:25 (RHS 4:50) 7:20 9:50 EI FATHER OF THE BRIDE 2:20 2:40 (RHS 5:15) 7:25 9:30 JFK 12:30 (RHS 4:30) 8:15 SEAN CONNERY LORRAINE BRACCO Iff MEDICINE MAN I 12:15 2:15 (RHS 5:001 7:159:30 HOOK 30 (RHS 4:30) 7:15 9:55 KUFFS 12:05 2:20 (RHS 4:501 7:209:40 EI SHINING THROUGH 12:45 7:00 9:40 FREEJACK Iff 2.05 2:25 (RHS 4:50) 7:20 9:40 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 12:00 2:15 7:008:45 ADV, OF GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE 12:00 2:00 (RHS 5:00) 7:00 ffl LOVE CRIMES By Michael Fox, DVM Dear Dr.

Fox: Is it not unusual to have a cat who does not hiss or growl when he feels threatened? When I found this cat every movement left him scared, and though that sometimes prompted him to attack, he never hissed. Now that he is loved and knows that he won't be harmed, he will greet my friends, tail-wagging like a dog, and always look for a lap to sit on. Cats have a whole spectrum of different personalities, the temperaments of some being either very easygoing and unperturbed by anything or fearfully passive when scared. Your cat could have either of these, which is why he doesn't hiss or growl when threatened. Dear Dr.

Fox: Our sheltie Jessy is really smart. One evening this fall we were getting out of our car to go skating. Jessy was left behind to wait. As we headed for the area, we heard a car horn and turned to see Jessy peering over the steering wheel in the driver's seat. My family stopped and gave Jessy a big wave.

He responded with two more beeps on the horn. What a dog! Iff 30 9:40 lediciiae CAPE FEAR FATHER OF THE BRIDE 12:05 2:05 IRHS 4:45) 7:00 9:10 Iff 1:00 (RHS 4:45) 7:20 10:00 MY GIRL 12: 10 2:30 (RHS 4:45) PSl MY GIRL JFK 12:45 (RHS 4:30) 8:00 12:15 2:25 (RHS 5:00) 7:059:40 Iff THE LAST BOY SCOUT 2:307:15 KUFFS 12:30 2:30 (RHS 5:15) 7:30 9:40 Bl STAR TREK VI JUICE WAYNE'S WORLD! 12:45 1 00 IRHS 5:30) 7:35 9:40 iff 3i 12.30 2:30 (RHS 5:00) 7:15 9:20 I 12:10 9:50 GRAND CANYON 00 (RHS 4:15 7:05 9 45 MEDICINE MAN I 12:30 2:45 (RHS 5:00) 7: 109:20 Ef 7505 Wotion Rd. 962-4505 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 12: 15 2:00 (RHS 5:10) 7:10 FINAL ANALYSIS I 12:002:30 (RHS 5:15) 7:4510:15 FTj Assistive listening '31 Devices BUGSY Bl 00 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 12:15 2:15 (RHS 4:45) 7:00 ST FREEJACK I WAYNE'S WORLD! 1:30 lyu 3:35 IRHS 5:451 EI KUFFS 9:00 2:00 (RHS 5:20) 7:309:35 FRIED GREEN TOMATOES I 1:30 (RHS 4:30) 7:05 9:45 EI GRAND CANYON 7:2510:00 Oliv. St. VV.

ol Lind. 567-3360 WINNER! FINAL ANALYSIS I Manchester 141 31 Adults '3 Kids-Seniors a All Shows Before 6 pm 42 I 2:15 (RHS 4:50) 7:25 10:05 THE PRINCE OF TIDES 1:30 (RHS 4:55 7:25 9:55 ALL SHOWS $1.50 MY FATHER'S GLORY 2:154:45 7:109:30 HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE 12:00 2:15 (RHS 4:501 7:25 9:50 12:10 Iff BEST PICTURE THE LAST BOY SCOUT 1:50 (RHS 5:00) 7:15 9:30 NOWSHOWING NO PASSES OR COUPONS ACCEPTED I ADV. OF GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE I 12:15 1 :55 3:30 (RHS 5:30) 7:15 11 CAPE FEAR STAR TREK VI NitelyS OO 7 00 Sun. 1 :00 3:00 5:00 7:00 fiJJ FOR THE BOYS THE AODAMS FAMILY 2:45 5:00 7:15 9:20 2. HOOK Nil.ly 3:30 8:15 Sun.

12:00 2 45 5:30 8:15 gj 9 00 Every Nite ft! KST WW Im mJ n' Mr Mm Hmtm, Irna 1:55 (RHS 4:30) 7:159:50 STAR TREK VI I GRAND CANYON 2:00 (RHS 4:45) 7:30 1 0:10 2:30 7:20 9:30 I FATHER OF THE BRIDE MY GIRL AN AMERICAN TAIL! 1:45 3:30 5:15 2:20 (RHS 5:00) 7:30 9:50 01 12:20 (RHS 4:50) KUFFS BUGSY 9:10 Iff 9:15 S. Lind Boolilt Ch. Rd. 843-5335 THE PRINCE OF TIDES 7:159:55 1-70 Mid Siwi WAYNE'S WORLD I 12:30 2:40 (RHS 5:30) 7:35 9: 40 11:30 Moll Rd. 279-2779 HOOK 1:50 (RHS 4:301 RS ADV.

OF GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE 12:00 1:40 3:15 (RHS 5:20 7:00 I WAYNE'S WORLD! 12:15 2:30 7:159:30 ADV. OF GREAT HOUSE DETECTIVE rhy401CIto 532-0155 FRIED GREEN TOMATOES I 11:50 2:15 (RHS 4:45 7:25 10:00 EI 11:30 I 3:00 IRHS 5:00) 7:00 UL FRIED GREEN TOMATOES I 11:50 2:25 (RHS 4:55) 7:30 10:05 El "FAR AND AWAY THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR." David Sheehan, NBC-TV THE PRINCE OF Tides MEDICINEMAN! 12:40 2:40 (RHS 5:201 7:359:45 EI HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE 11:45 1:55 7:109:25 11:25 PICTURES Beauty HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE FINAL ANALYSIS I 12:00 2:20 (RHS 4:50) 7:309:55 Iff FINAL ANALYSIS! 11:30 1:55 (RHS 4:30) 7:009:35 11:55 12:45 3:00 IRHS 5:151 7:40 10:05 Iff FATHER OF THE BRIDE FATHER OF THE BRIDE PS FATHER OF THE BRIDE 12:15 2:20 (RHS 5:00) 7:15 9:30 pj I 12:30 2:45 (RHS 5:30 7:45 9:55 pv miu it it Beast SHINING THROUGH I JFK 12:15 (RHS 4:151 7:55 Iff Iff 1:00 (RHS 4:20) 7:109:55 GRAND CANYON 11 :30 2:00 (RHS 4:35) 7:15 10:00 Iff BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 1:00 3:00 (RHS 5:00) HOOK 9:00 iffNDTl CROCKS THCTADJJE THE PRINCE OF TIDES 10:10 I 9 Hilltop Villro. Or. I 938-6345 S. Lindb ol Lmay I BUGSY 9:00 rtrry -uu 1 1 HOOK 11:302:10 (RHS 4:50) PS ALL SHOWS $3.00 WAYNE'S WORLD! 1:001:00 5:00 7:109:20 ALL SHOWS $1.50 rue inntuc eiuu the hand that rules the world.

i now BHSSSl PLAYING E-SS 12:152:30 4:45 7:30 10. 00 Eli ffiflESfc. AmillMHArKTllRrSHHrASF A I eimcauMtiincTunfSNnuftTnrM mc wi rights wmimo VLJS NOW fM PLAYING tfSWM nn Mb iamfitown 7414135 FRIEDGREEN TOMATOES! 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:20 9:50 EI eium (in pictumi out hut mi nc lltlrltattf li Imii Vliti plclirn DlitiliillH. Ik. ALL SHOWS $1.00 AN AMERICAN TAIL 2 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30 9:45 CURLY SUE 12:00 2:15 4:30 7:00 9:30 HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE 12:15 2:25 4 45 7:00 9 20 PS THE ADOAMS FAMILY 3:30 5:30 7:309:30 EI FINAL ANALYSIS I 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:25 9:55 t'.

At II Iff RUSH NOW SHOWING FOR THE BOYS 7:00 9:30 Pfl I 12:30 3:30 7:15 10:00 SHINING THROUGH 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:20 9:50 FOR THE BOYS AN AMERICAN TAIL 2 3:00 5:00 12:30 3 30 7:0010:00 tut nnfr'urrVi ante FATHER OF THE BRIDE 7:20 9:25 RS 12:15 2:30 4:45 7:30 9:45 ET I mm BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 12:101:55 3:45 5:10 1-270 i Pag. rflitJ 878-8660 THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS 12:00 2:15 4:30 7:159:30 in. JFK 1:15 IRHS 4:45) 8:15 PARADISE 8 Honley KM 1:30 9:45 STAR TREK VI 1:30 (RHS 5:00) 7:159:30 MEDICINEMAN! 12:00 2:30 (RHS 5:00) 7:30 9:55 'Hamuli Jt- L. ff. t.

At. f- in- iim, rS in a si it it. 1 1, ft 6 a 4V A. 4 tAiifc 4i.j.4.jii.i Oi 4 4 i frjfc4.VJ...iV JVVJVi.