St. Louis Post-Dispatch from St. Louis, Missouri • Page 53

spectator May 28, 1976 5H ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH It Really Went To The Dogs iff) Zis AT lP 1 Pill A image of a man who has saved the entire world, not to mention Rome and the city of Los Angeles. Guerdon Trueblood's screenplay, based on a novel by Brian Garfield, does differ in a couple of spots from "High Noon," and they're all bad. Instead of having a wife, Heston has a daughter, played with a steady pout by Barbara Hershey, who changed her name from Hershey to Seagull and now has re-changed it, which may prove that the flight of Jonathan Livingston has reached its end. The villain, played in "High Noon" by Lee Van Cleef, returns in the person of James Cobum, with far more teeth than the average chain-gang fugitive should have.

Making this a "now" picture, there's a violent rape scene, with the added feature of slow-motion camera work making the entire episode more repugnant than necessary. Christopher Mitchum, son of Robert, helps fill out the cast and the time as a tenderfoot, Eastern engineer who loves Heston's daughter to the point where he stays with the old man on the trek into the mountains for the climactic shootout. It's a cliche role that, one would think, should have disappeared from Westerns a couple of generations ago. The whole film is a melange of violence and crudity, and its few attempts at rationalizing the concepts of courage and the philosophy of war are lost in the rattle of gunfire. "High Noon" did take a serious look at those subjects, but it was written by Carl Foreman and directed by Fred Zinneman.

This one was directed by Andrew McLaglen, and what can anyone expect from someone who has directed 95 episodes of "Gunsmoke?" (Running time: 1 hour, 43 minutes. Rating, R. At 17 theaters) MM'IMMMMM-J drop on good guy Charlton all, how could Charlton Heston replace Gary Cooper? Besides, the concept of Heston in mere one-on-one combat is demeaning to the Madeline Kahn (right) and her Dog Who Saved Hollywood." co-star in "Won Ton Ton, the By Joe Pollack Of tta IWDispatrh Staff 'Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood' On one level, "Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood," is an atrocious movie. Supposedly a comic spoof, it lacks humor. It also lacks grace, class, style and intelligence, a group of attributes more common in their absence than their presence in many Hollywood productions, but not generally absent to such a great degree.

On another level, however, the movie is so bad that it is almost good. It is an exercise in how to take a pretty good idea and to overdo it until quintessential boredom is reached, but it also provides an opportunity to see a fading galaxy of former -stars, most of whom cause a first reaction of, "Gee, I didn't know he was still alive." Brief appearances are made by the likes of Richard Arlen, Joan Blondell, Rory Calhoun, Jack Carter, Cyd Char-isse, Broderick Crawford, Dennis Day, Rhonda Fleming, Dick Haymes, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jessel, Tab Hunter, Peter Lawford, Dorothy Lamour, Guy Madison, Victor Mature, Virginia Mayo, Ethel Merman, Walter Pidgeon, Dean Stockwell, Doodles Weaver, the Ritz Brother, Johnny Weissmuller and Hen-ny Youngman. There, are others, too. Bruce Dern, Madeline Kahn, Art Carney and a dog are the main characters, and they" all seem embarrassed by what is going on. The plot, inane as it may seem, involves the dog and Miss Kahn.

It appears that he will do tricks only for her, while Carney considers her a jinx on the set, so Dern, trying to become a great director, has to hide her so that the dog will make him look good. And if you think that's confusing, wait until you see the movie. Miss Kahn, a very accomplished comedienne, is saddled with even more than she can handle. Dern, who also can be funny meets the same fate. Arnold Schulman and Cy Howard wrote the screenplay as if they were on their way to something important, and Michael Winner directs as if his mind were on something else, like his next movie.

Ron Leibman is on hand as a transves-tite queen, Rudy Montague, who brings additional tastelessness to what is already tasteless. About the only performer who gets into the action as if it meant something is the and if he's intent on a Hollywood career, he's going to have to learn to- pace himself a little. He's simply too eager. (Running time: 1 hour, 32 minutes. Rating, PG.

At the Alton, Cross Keys, Northland, Sunset, Westport) 'Mother, Jugs arid Speed'- There has to be something wrong with anyone' who orders a cheeseburger with mayonnaise, onions and peanut butter. He seems to lack a sense of direction, a sense of order, a feeling for priorities. But that's the way Bill Cosby orders his burgers in "Mother, Jugs and Speed," and that's also the way the entire film seems without direction, without purpose. Director Peter Yates, who is responsible for "Bullitt," among other good films, collected just the right people for the film. Cosby, obviously, is perfect as "Mother." Harvey Keitel, of course, is just right "Speed." Some might question Raquel Welch in the other title role, but not this reviewer.

Tom Mankiewicz's screenplay merely emphasizes the problems, and Yates is unable to overcome them. No one is sure whether '-'Mother et al" is a comedy or a serious drama about life and death and the purposes thereof night sounds By Dick Richmond Of the Post-Dispatch Staff MUSIC ROOM Kreskip is a mind blower. The mentalist tricks you, you know you're being tricked and then you begin to wonder. His first accomplishment was with rings. I was going to say trick, but he has me wondering, too.

From three men in the audience he borrowed rings. Then holding the rings up, he linked them into a chain. The men then identified their property. Kreskin moved around the room to allow others to see what he had done. One of the persons in the audience who examined the linked rings said he was a jeweler.

"They're really linked!" he exclaimed, then burst into surprised laughter. I wasn't sure until I got to about two feet away and saw for myself. And then The Amazing Kreskin at the movies Bad guy James Coburn has the Heston in "The Last Hard Men." Basically, the story involves a rundown, shabby ambulance company owned by Allen Garfield, who is very, very good. Miss Welch is a secretary who wants to drive, but things keep getting in her way. Cosby is a cynical, veteran driver who is happy to keep things going on a casual basis, with his beer in a cooler on the seat.

Keitel joins the group, looking for a job because he's a policeman who's been suspended allegedly for selling drugs. The comic scenes are fine, though there are not enough of them. When Mankiewicz and Yates get serious, over a crazed junkie or a birth that goes awry, they get more than just serious, they get maudlin, and it fails to come across with any real meaning. Yates's expertise in chase scenes comes through in fine style, and Miss Welch, though a little confused most of the time, is a proper enough foil for Cosby, Keitel, Garfield and others in the cast, including former Chicago Bears' linebacker Dick Butkus. Garfield, yet to receive a real starring role that will properly display his many talents, is simply marvelous as the owner of the company, importuning his.

employes with old-fashioned pep talks, complete with football in hand, and hedging, scheming and whining to avoid paying his debts. Bruce Davison is quite good as Cos-by's driving partner, and Larry Hagman is fine as a psychotic driver, but he overplays badly at the end, which is not his fault since the entire ending is overplayed so terribly that it makes one feel that peanut butter and mayonnaise might not be so bad on a cheeseburger, if there were plenty of onions (Running time: 1 hour, 37 minutes. Rating, PG. At the Alton, Avalon, Creve Coeur, Fairview, Fox, Grandview, Mark Twain) Last Hard Men' How's this sound for a Western movie plot? Take a retired sheriff, tired of killing, and find a former prisoner, originally caught by the sheriff, and put him on a revenge-marked trail. Good, right? Sounds like "High Noon," doesn't it? Yup.

Nope. It's called "The Last Hard Men," and though the similarities are obvious, this is a very bad copy. After he unlinked them. It was a real attention-getter for the mentalist, whose timing would allow him to stand up with the best of the stand-up comics. "I did this (with the rings) at one club," Kreskin said, "and I was held over for eight weeks.

The club owner turned out to be an amazing hypnotic subject." Holding up a deck of cards, he announced, "This is an ordinary marked deck of playing cards." Then he allowed a man and a woman each to select several. Standing with his face to the wall, he said, "First of all, my back is to you. I don't think I have to prove this." Then he turned around and smiled. "Don't be too amazed, folks. I do this for a living." The man who had selected cards had taken 13.

Kreskin went on to call out every one in his hand. The woman who had selected the cards was someone I knew. I was sitting near enough that I could easily see the nine cards in her hand. Kreskin identified the cards in the arrangement in which she had placed them. Afterward he asked whether anyone would like to play cards.

"I don't play for money," he said, "just for honest hatred." The most interesting part of Kreskin's performance came when he had persons in the audience write things on slips of paper and place those slips in envelopes. The envelopes never left the tables. Kreskin then went on to call out things that had been written. The writers stood. What he did next was amazing.

After the show, a woman said, "I'd be afraid to think around him." I would have responded if I hadn't been trying to keep a clear head. Kreskin will be in the Music Room of the Raaada Inn, Interstate 44 across from the Chrysler plant, through tomorrow. Admission charge is $6.95. IMnilllllJ. it Villi III! You can pick up any Sunday Retail Display advertisement from the Post-Dispatch and run that same ad (with no copy change) IN THE TUESDAY POST FOR om HALF your regular Tuesday rate.

How's thai for a switch? Tuesday is our light day. Just as you have light days and use special promotions to beef them up, we decided to have a special SALE for retailers. Our new electronic process makes it possible. NOW YOU CAN INCREASE TRAFFIC. SALES AND PROFIT AT THIS TERRIFIC RATE! ONLY IN THE.