The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida on December 5, 1997 · Page 224
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December 5, 1997

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The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida · Page 224

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West Palm Beach, Florida
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Friday, December 5, 1997
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M SL THE PALM BEACH POST FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1997 3F TODAY B Comedy Improv, 7 to 10 pan., The Upstart Cafe, The Center for Art & Soul, 333 Tressler Drive, Stuart For additional information call 220-2552. B "How Christmas Cultivate peace, capture happiness Came To America," 11 a.m. at the Yacht and Country Club, A1A, Stuart The program, which has a historical theme, takes place at the luncheon and meeting of the Hal- "Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life," the old song said. And it works. Surrender to and emulation of Jesus, reliance on inner wisdom, taking life as it comes and making the best of it avoiding the pull of negative feelings, seeing the good, being kind and simple and true, these are ways to "get there." little excuse to smile, to wonder and appreciate. It requires being free to respond, without burdensome emotional baggage that hurts, hassles and haunts. When happiness goes away we must let it Then we are free to have it again. Maybe in five minutes if we're lucky. Happiness is there. It's our capacity to enjoy that must be redeveloped. Peace can be cultivated. You can nourish peace like a garden. It doesn't depend on any transient event or stimulation. It is a state you can attain, with effort and intention. As with the more fleeting happiness, peace is gained through removing obstacles, old thought patterns that keep us mired in fear, anger and craving. Happiness penetrates and delights. Peace surrounds and supports. But obstacles often prevail. Peace and happiness both depend on our learning to expand the space between the obstacles and living in it. Next week, be here and learn how. B Dr. Hugh R. Leavell is a marriage and family therapist with offices in Jupiter and West Palm Beach. Visit him at http:ll www.spectacular.comoneminutetherapist or call him at 471-0067. Peace and happiness, not such complicated goals, really, but elusive. We have obstacles. Lots of obstacles. Most obstacles are old thought patterns that interfere with learning. If not for them we would "get" the lessons of life quicker and spend less energy and time chasing our tails patiokee Chapter, Daughters of the American Revolution. For reservations, call 288-4306. COMING SATURDAY B Plant Martin BeautifulAandscape Fair and Plant Sale, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday at Memorial Park, East Ocean Boulevard, Stuart Features one-stop shopping for landscaping needs. Free educational classes will be taught by local experts, and vendors will be selling everything from aquatic plants and topiaries. For information call 781-1222. B Annual Cookie and Craft Sale, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, Community United Methodist Church, 3114 Okeechobee Road, Fort Pierce. Cookies, hot dogs, chili, coffee, tea and home-made holiday items. For more information call 461-2499. Community CPR. 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Saturday, includes Adult, Infant and Child CPR at The Martin County Red Cross, 2750 S. Kanner Highway, Stuart. Prepaid fee $25. For information and reservations call 287-2002. B Genealogy Workshop, 10 a.m. to noon Saturday in the Stokes Room, Martin County Library, 701 E. Ocean Blvd., Stuart. The Martin County Genealogical Society and Daughters of the American Revolution, Halpatiokee Chapter assist individuals and youth in genealogy research. For information call 286-3698. One-Minute Therapist Dr. Hugh Leavell Even trustworthy teen shouldn't be home alone Question: My wife has a weekend business trip coming up, and I'd like to go with her. Our 16-year-old son feels he should be allowed to stay home alone. He's very trustworthy, and we believe him when he promises not to have a party while we're not there to supervise. But we're still uneasy. Should we let him? Answer: We don't advise it not because your son is likely to break his promise, but because you'd be putting him in a vulnerable position. High school kids have well-honed antennae, always alert for a house where no parents are present And word spreads fast Here's a very possible A Jt scenario, based on other ftjLmi r ikia parents' experiences: AAfRilIG Your son invites one bud-1 ,JJJk dy to watch a video. Sev- PARENTS era more frends arrive iKiia uninvited, and your son is HELPLINC reluctant to send them on their way. Then more kids show up, some toting beer. Before he knows it your son is hosting a large, noisy, out-of-control bash. Any time teenagers crash an unchaperoned party, alcohol consumption is likely and marijuana or other drugs may be used. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and increases the chances that some kids will engage in sexual activity. Over-exuberant partygoers could damage your house. A teen driver could get drunk at the party, then cause a car wreck. Even if your son resists peer pressure to join in, he can't control the crashers. And he knows, if he tries, he can become a social outcast. You open yourself to legal liability, too. Laws vary from state to state, but parents can be held responsible for damages or illegal activity resulting from parties in their houses such as a drunken-driving incident. You also need to consider whether your son is ready to take total responsibility for your house, even without the added difficulties of an unplanned party. He would have to be extra alert about locking doors and not leaving the stove on, for example. Is he ready to cope with a malfunctioning furnace or a power outage? In order to join your wife's trip, arrange adult supervision of your son and your home. You might ask an adult friend to stay in your house. If your son feels that's too much like having a baby sitter, arrange for him to stay at the home of a friend. If your son stays with friends, tell your neighbors that you'll be gone and ask them to keep an eye on the house. Give neighbors and your son's host family a phone number where you can be reached. Leave a key with a neighbor who will check on the house and take in the mail and newspapers each day that you're gone. You might let your son be home briefly during the day, with the understanding that he is not to have friends in. He may complain that these precautions indicate that you don't trust him, but you should stand firm. Part of being a teenager is testing limits and taking risks. Part of being a parent is shielding kids from the temptations having an empty house can provide. B Susan Crites Price and Tom Price are authors of The Working Parents Help Book (Peterson's, 1996). They welcome questions and comments addressed to Parents, Cox News Service, 2000 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W., Washington, DC 20006, or e-mailed to parentscoxnews.com. mmmm and repeating errors. It might help if we try to understand the nature of peace and happiness. They're not the same. And you can have one without the other. Happiness goes and comes unbidden. To have it you must take it embracing any Let child set pace of toilet training LOOKING AHEAD Parents often ask me about the best age to start toilet training. Instead of recommending a certain age, I advise them to wait until the child has shown that he is ready and wants to begin. Some signs include: B The child is over the initial excitement of walking and is ready to sit down. B The child begins to imitate parents and older siblings. B The development of receptive speech leads to the understand- Problems in toilet training nearly always arise because it is started too soon. When parents are unable to wait, and they impose toilet training as their idea, the child will feel this as an invasion. Unfortunately, pressure on parents comes from many sources. Their own wish to see him as advanced makes them want to compete with other families. Preschools often insist that a child be "trained." Other parents offer advice and condescending comfort. Grandparents imply that toilet-training success is a measure of successful parenting. It will probably take us another generation before most parents can see toilet training as the child's own learning process. B Questions or comments should be addressed to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, care of The New York Times Syndication Sales Corp., 122 E. 42nd St., New York, NY. 10168. Questions of general interest will be answered in this column; Dr. Brazelton regrets that unpublished letters cannot be answered B Holiday FestivitiesT-Shirt Painting, 1 to 3 p.m. Sunday, Stuart Recreation Center, Flagler Avenue, Stuart. For children 5 to 12, children under 5 must be supervised. Cost $5 per child. Participants must bring T-shirts. Registration is necessary before Sunday. Call 288-5335. B Bazaar, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday in a tent on Central Parkway just off Kanner Highway, Stuart. Benefits the Unitarian Universalist Church of the Treasure Coast. Items include bookcases, household goods, clothing, knick-knacks, toys, art, fishing equipment baked goods and more. For more information call 223-5020. B 56th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day: The Veterans Council of Indian River County will have a ceremony at 7:55 a.m. Sunday on Memorial Island, Vero Beach. There will be the posting of the Colors, a moment of silence, the placing of a wreath, the sounding of a ship's bell, taps and a 21-gun salute. The Honored guests will be the Treasure Coast members of the Pearl Harbor Survivors Association. For organization participation and information call 770-5035. I f I ing 01 sucn concepts as; A I' 1 I "This is your potty seat V At, I Mine is the big one. Someday you 11 go on yours like I do on mine." B The child be T. Berry Brazelton comes orderly and begins to put things in their places. Parents who are able to be patient until the child shows such signs usually between 2 and 4 years of age are unlikely to run into serious problems. Workers are using their lunch hours for everything but eating say it's troubling that so many wnrW prs are maintainine a harried 'It appears that lunch time is becoming a catchall for taking care of personal business. . . . The traditional sit-down, "relax with your co-workers for an hour" time is basically gone. ' RICK M0HR, Steelcase Inc. Some workers are using their lunch breaks for hobbies and projects that they otherwise wouldn't have time to pursue. An architect attends a noon Mass; a lawyer tutors elementary school students; an art museum conservator visits her two sons for lunch at their day care center. There is so much lunch time driving by Washington area office workers, in fact that it has created a "third rush hour" between 11:30 a.m. and 3 p.m., transportation officials say. Some management specialists lunch than women. Women are twice as likely as men to go shopping on their lunch breaks; men are more likely to take clients to lunch. Carolyn Brumbaugh, 45, a defense industry worker from An-nandale, Va., said she routinely eats at her desk and uses most of her lunch break to shop for groceries and clothes tasks that she has trouble squeezing into evenings and weekends, when she's busy chauffeuring her two children to music lessons and gymnastics practice. pace through lunch. As it is, they note, office workers generally are working longer hours than in previous decades, and fax machines, beepers and cellular phones tie them to the workplace even when they're off duty. "It's really important to clear one's head, and that often requires a change of venue," said David Schnall, a professor of management at Yeshiva University in New York City. By Jacqueline L Salmon The Washington Post Donna Leigh, a systems manager for the Defense Department spends at least 12 hours a day commuting and working at her job in Fairfax County, Va. She'd love to take a break when her lunch hour arrives, but to spend those 60 minutes eating at a restaurant would be to squander precious time, Leigh says. Instead, she often drives to a nearby supermarket to pick up groceries or to the post office to mail packages. Sometimes she shops for clothes or fits in a doctor's appointment. Sometimes she stays at the office to attend a staff meeting. As for lunch, she snacks at her desk later in the afternoon. For Leigh, there's nothing remotely relaxing about the lunch hour. "It just feels like it's an extension of the day, to be honest" she said. It feels that way to more and more employees across the country. The practice of occasionally skipping one's lunch break to take care of pressing business is hardly new. But now many office workers SUNSHINE & Celebrate the Season 4&3 ffi(DW minutes for lunch. More than half of the workers surveyed said they engage in other activities besides eating such as shopping, exercising or catching up on work during their lunch breaks. "It appears that lunch time is becoming a catchall for taking care of personal business, as well as work-related activities," said Rick Mohr, a spokesman for Steelcase Inc., an office-furniture manufacturer that commissioned the survey as part of its study of workplace trends. "The traditional sit-down, 'relax with your co-workers for an hour' time is basically gone." Women, in particular, are avoiding such lunches. The Steelcase survey found that men on average take 10 percent longer for make that sacrifice day in and day out, and the range of lunch-hour activities keeps growing. Longer daily commutes, along with the family responsibilities that working parents face when they get home, have shrunk the time available in the evening for personal errands so more workers are using the lunch hour to get those errands accomplished. At the same time, companies bent on improving productivity increasingly are scheduling lunch-hour office meetings and seminars, leaving their employees with no choice but to forgo a midday break. The lunch hour isn't even an hour anymore. A recent nationwide survey found that office workers on average take only 36 The Greater Lake Worth Chamber of Commerce Presents 1 997 Holiday Showcase I presented tyj Very Special Arts Florida - Palm Beach County O I Joys & Toys TWmhfr 14. 1QQ7 at 2 nm ivvviuuvi - y - - 1 fiP 5th ANNUAL SUNSHINE & SNOW FESTIVAL Saturday December 13th 10:am - 9:pm Sunday December 14th 1 2:Noon - 6:pm BRYANT PARK, LAKE WORTH Breakfast & Pictures with Santa 9:am Sat. 20 Tons of Snow Rides Games Food Beverages Live Animals Live Entertainment Arts & Crafts FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY Admission After 2:pm Sat $ 3.00 - Children under 12 Free SPONSORED BY Palm Beach Community College, Lake Worth .... , uicforl hv k'pvln kitchens of Sunny 104.3. t 1 I v J v v j ----------- - - ...... j - Celebrate with over 100 students and adults as they showcase their talents in dance, drama and music including: South Florida Theatre of the Deaf W A non-equity professional group Speaking with two voices?.pfte for the ear and one for the eye JZ Donna Tucci's School of Dance) v Young dancers who sparkle I Tickets: $5 adults $2idr audfnts . Q 1 - Available af the Very Special Arts Office (561) 964-4822!56) 966-6684 TDD or at the door - .. tl r .. 1. .. 4 .. nBa rl i-il 1 . nrA a hnlirlav larl Gala Pre-show reception u.jv pm: reirtsiiiiicma, m 1 uBjimja """""j v. u.v VFT7Y a nr2r,t nronniyntion which orovides cultural and artistic opportunities for c Concours Auto Sales lis with disabilities. The performance will be interpreted for the deaf. AITTX WIIHUIVII MUM I Jovslind Toys is brought to you by:" ffeiim-AWu 40 COLUMBIA -Cvaw7 hart (IcWimi - - J 3 Bn.imiTH F.A.O. Si hwarz Lrrar Palm Family Theatre sSwFMt of Pai.m Beach County, Inc. Siemens u Sunmi w llEAl PRINTINC KEPURI IC SECURITY DANK LAW OFFICE ") Mac; iMAc;F. Sign Language Services, Inc. lmKy Smith & N ,J?tjAN Theatre at Palm Beach Community College ' -J LAW OFFICES ELSON, RA. FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL THE G.L.W C.C. AT Ul-4401

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