Democrat and Chronicle from Rochester, New York on October 24, 2015 · Page C1
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October 24, 2015

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Democrat and Chronicle from Rochester, New York · Page C1

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Rochester, New York
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Saturday, October 24, 2015
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Page C1
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F all’s annual organizing/nesting frenzy isn’t just a g reat excuse to clear out the detri- t us of an action-packed summer; it’s also an exercise in preparation ( self-preservation, even) as the holiday season, with its inevitable v isitors, looms. BRAND X PICTURESGETTY IMAGES Hosting house guests requires planning, energy, patience and a great attitude, as well as sometimes being a space engineer. House g uests 101 Crafting the perfect welcome for overnight visitors PRASIT RODPHANGETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO The best guest bedrooms resemble a luxurious hotel suite. The room has a door for privacy a nd an adjacent bathroom. This way guests don’t feel they’re intruding on their host’s privacy. SeeGUESTS,Page2C BARBARA BALLINGER CHICAGO TRIBUNE Democrat and Chronicle Saturday,October24,2015 Ispent decades doing what millions o f other working mothers have also managed to do. I juggled. I befriended chaos. I put up a good front. Few knew my sanity was forever hanging by a thread. Yet I was more fortunate than most. I could afford help with the children. My mother was a godsend. My employer allowed me to telecommute most of the time. And for many years the crazy, feverish, breakneck speed with which I lived my life was hardly unique. My friends lived the same way, by the seat of their pants. Little has changed. Yes, after all these years, after all these battles about who’s a true feminist and who isn’t, what I’ve observed — the angst, the worry, the rushing around — has barely budged in the span of a generation. Sure, more employers are family friendly. Sure, more fathers are picking up the slack. Sure, our daughters are more assertive about their needs and their demands. But for working mothers, the pace has not slowed, the juggling hasn’t stopped. There’s still that mad dash out of the office to collect the children at day care. Still the mad dash to complete the endless reams of homework that buffoons think will transform our education system. Still the mad dash in the morning to get everybody where they need to be on time. Truth, the mad dash is the least of it. Modern life dictates a lot of rushing around for all of us, most of it unwarranted. The big bugaboo for many mothers, the unmentionable, is the worry of leaving beloved children with virtual strangers. Or of these virtual strangers not showing up at all. Perhaps that’s why I wasn’t surprised to read that the majority of American mothers with children under 18 would prefer the role of homemaker, the comfort of being there when the second-grader arrives from school or when the baby has a cold. This preference held true for both women who were already staying at home and those who were currently working. Combined data from Gallup’s 2014 and 2015 Work and Educations surveys show that 56 percent of mothers with children under 18 would rather stay home. For wom- e n without young children, however, those numbers are reversed: 58 percent would choose to work outs ide the home. In other words, children are the deciding factor in whether women would prefer to be e mployed or stay at home. Not necessarily pay, not necessarily career advancement (or lack there- o f). The caring and raising of children, plain and simple. Meanwhile, most men — 70 percent — would rather have a job outside the home. Having a child doesn’t make much of a difference. That should surprise no one. Even as men have adapted to changing e xpectations, in most families they remain the breadwinners, and if my sons are any indication, are quite h appy being so. For mothers, choices are not so clear and I doubt they ever will be. Worthwhile part-time jobs are hard to come by. In many cases, the cost o f childcare, especially for more than one child, gobbles up most of a paycheck, rendering the possibility of employment moot. The guilt for w omen is different, too — and as a mother of four sons and a daughter, I know how sexist this sounds. So, n o, I’m not surprised by what mothers say about wanting to stay home w ith the kids. Maybe we’ve conditioned our girls to be more susceptible to the tug of home and hearth. Or maybe t he tug is more elemental than that. Maybe we know there are no second chances when it comes to the j ob of raising children, no rewinds or reboots. You have only once to g et it right, then they’re gone. Work or stay home? Polls clear for moms ANA SUAREZ AT HOME THE DAILY DOSE HERROCHESTER.COM If you are a fan of the circus, get ready for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's "Legends," happening at the Blue Cross Arena from Oct. 28 through Nov. 1 . This all-new show combines iconic circus stars with mythological creatures. G uests will be thrilled by The Riders of the Wind, Cossack trick-riders who storm the arena on the backs of thoroughbred horses, performing daring stunts. The Solar Hawks, a team of acrobats, hope to amaze audiences with their three consecutive triple somersaults on a unique double-wide trapeze build specifically for The Greatest Show on E arth . " Legends" will also present lions, tigers, leopards and Asian elephants, plus a chance to meet p erformers, take photos and more. VIP b ehind-the-scene tickets are available for purchase and allow ticket holders to look at prop and w ardrobe areas, get an up-close and personal peek at the animals and meet stars from the show. F or more information, go to Ringling.comor call (585) 232-1900. For group rates, call (866) 248-8740. ‘LEGENDS’ COMING TO CITY While growing up in Brockport, Katie D eTar developed a taste for television that was a bit off the beaten path. “ Burt Wolf, Rick Steves, Globe Trekker; that’s who I watched when I was a kid,” s aid DeTar, 35, recalling the travel shows and hosts she was drawn to, all on public television. She wanted to travel beyond her western New York home. That desire, coupled with the family’s recreational travels, created a path toward DeTar becoming a travel show host. I n fact, DeTar’s self-produced travel show, Fringe Benefits, was picked up last March for distribution to PBS stations nationwide, including Rochester and Syracuse. The series premieres at 4:30 p.m. S aturday, Oct. 24, on WXXI’s CREATE c hannel — DT channel 21.3/cable channel 1 276. I n the premiere episode, DeTar visits B altimore’s Inner Harbor, sails the Chesapeake Bay, and dives into the h istory of the Civil War and the War of 1812. She heads just north of the c ity-center to spend an afternoon is Hampden — a unique neighborhood of kitschy shops and food spots. A little farther west, DeTar travels to Frederick, Maryland, for a stroll through historic neighborhoods and along the city’s Carroll Creek. The episode wraps up with asailing lesson on Chesapeake Bay and a v isit to the Decoy Museum for a look at carved decoy ducks. DeTar graduated from The College at Brockport in 2002 with a degree in journalism and worked as a TV news reporter in Rochester for several years. R ead the full story about DeTar at D emocratandChronicle.com. — Caurie Putnam BROCKPORT NATIVE’S TRAVEL SHOW DEBUTS

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