The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida on November 10, 1968 · Page 236
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The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida · Page 236

West Palm Beach, Florida
Issue Date:
Sunday, November 10, 1968
Page 236
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Page 236 article text (OCR)

1 01!! favorite iolies by jacobin, trade editor's notc: .icofa M. Braude has proved over a long career thai a good judge doesn't have to be dull. Braude has been a sitting judge in his native Chicago since 1934, first in Municipal Court, and for the last 12 years in Circuit Court. Bui he has also earned renown as a speaker and raconteur in the course of addressing thousands of meetings, afler-dinner and lecture audiences, judge Braude's talks are sprinkled with wit and his desire to enterlain his listeners has led to a second career. He has published 76 collections of humor and anecdotes, Ihc latest ol which is the recently published Braude's Source Book for Speakers and Writers (Prentice Hall). Now, if you're ready for some of Braude's favorite jokes, here come the judge! A nice looking young lady walked into a sporting goods store and ordered all the equipment necessary for a baseball game including a baseball, a bat, a catcher's mitt, and a catcher's mask. "Are you sure you want all these?" asked the salesman. The girl answered, "Yes, I do. My boss said if I'd play ball with him we'd get along fine." A DIFFERENT BIRB Two businessmen were relaxing on the beach at Miami. "You know," one began, "what does everyone see in Elizabeth Taylor? Take away her hair, her lips, her eyes, and her figure . . . and what've you got?" "My wife," the other businessman grunted. Want ad: Secretary wants job; no bad habits; willing to learn. by Beth Merriman PARADE rODO EDIIOK Anew kind ol bird is on the scene this Thanksgiving. Young turkeys, almost as broad as they are long, baste themselves as they roast with butler placed deep inside the breast, legs, and thighs. Explicit directions ior roasting, with or without cover or foil, are given in a folder packed with each bird. Aluminum toil has become popular for roasting turkey, and when it is used as a cover, the oven can be set at a higher temperature, somewhat shortening the roasting lime. Alter stuffing and trussing the bird, line a shallow roasting pan with foil. Place the turkey on a rack in the pan. II bird is not self-basting, brush all over with soft shortening. Cover with heavy duty foil crimped tightly to edges of pan. Roast at 400. Remove foil during the last 15 minutes for additional browning. Or, use a sheet of foil 5 to 10 inches longer than the turkey, as a "tent." Crease lengthwise through center, place over the turkey and crimp it a bit around the breast and drumsticks to anchor it. Roast at 325 for the usual time. A wealthy manufacturer of 72 married an 18-year-old model. They honeymooned in Miami. After the honeymoon the manufacturer came down with a coronary. He was hospitalized and placed in an oxygen tent. His young wife came to visit him. When he saw her, the manufacturer began to speak. "Darling," he said, "I don't want you to worry about the future. My will has been made. You're going to get all my stocks and bonds, our house in larchmont, the three cars, the property in Chicago, the villa in Monte Carlo, and a million-dollar trust fund." Tears welled up in the wife's eyes. "Oh! Fred," she mumbled. "You've been so sweet to me, so kind. Tell me, husband dear, isn't there something I can do for you?" "Yes," said the husband. "Take your finger away from the opening and let some oxygen into the tent." enough stuffing for a 16-lb. turkey. (Leftover stuffing may be wrapped in foil and heated in oven.) Garnish turkey platter with halved pineappleslices, preserved kumquats and parsley. For an 8- to 12-lb. turkey, roast, uncovered, at 325" for 3'j to 4V2 hours; covered, at 400 for 23A to 3'4 hours. For a 12- to 16-lb. bird, roast, uncovered, at 325 for 4Vj to 5'j hours; covered, at 400 for 33A to 4'A hours. The turkey is done when a meat thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the thigh registers 185. Drumstick will feel soft. If you are in the mood to break with strict tradition, try this new, flavorful stuffing, made with Boston brown bread, raisins and walnuts from the West, pineapple juice from Hawaii and apples from all over the U.S. PIIOIO BY WAtriR SIRIINKK TURKEY STUFFING U.S.A. 2 pkgs. (8 oz. each) herb-flavored bread stuffing mix Vs cup butter or margarine 1 can (1 lb.) Boston brown bread 1 cup pineapple juice 1 cup finely chopped walnuts 1 cup golden raisins 1 cup chopped apples 4 cup thinly sliced celery 1 tablespoon rosemary Prepare bread stuffing mix as directed on package, using the additional 7 cup butter. Crumble brown bread into crumbs; add with remaining ingredients; mix well. If stuffing is not moist enough for your taste, add a little more pineapple juice. Pack lightly into neck and body cavities of turkey. Makes I ROM PMtAM'S tl.SE KIKHIN At a recent political meeting a well-known Republican was speaking. He remarked that his method of obtaining votes for the Republican party was to give every taxi driver a large tip, then tell them, "Vote Republican." "I think my way is better," said a colleague. "I will give them no tip and tell them 'Vote Democratic' " In a swank photography studio a society matron was looking at a new picture she had taken. "Why, that picture's an outrage!" she stormed. "Now I ask you, does it look like me?" The suave photographer was flustered for a moment, but quickly regained his composure. "Madam," he said, bowing slightly, "the answer is in the negative." PARADE NOVEMGtR 10, 1B 22

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