The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida • Page 60

2D THE PALM BEACH POST MONDAY, JUNE 7, 1999 The Soaps An ode to other mothers-in-law Molester issues urgent warning ry ear Ann Landers: I am your average, everyday II child molester. Please understand that I'm LaV not talking about a guy who hides behind bushes or hangs around schoolyards and playgrounds. I could be anyone your neighbor, your Traveling light is a bright idea ear Heloise: When my husband and I travel, 1 1 JJ we carry our own version of a survival kit Besides a plug-in coffee pot and instant coffee and tea, we carry two 100-watt lightbulbs (to replace the low-wattage bulbs in the "reading" Utay plays crime boss with fervor TPK ear Abby: The verse you printed honoring II Jl on Mother's Day was bound UJr to touch the hearts of many. I have a suspicion that more than a few women felt die sentiments did not speak for them. In honor of these By Nancy M.

Reichardt Special to The Palm Beach Post Portraying the right-hand man of the notorious crime lord Stefano Di Mera on Days of our Lives is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it Actor Will Utay has been tackling the assignment since February of last year, when he was brought on for a few short episodes as super scientist Dr. Rolf, and turned it into a regular gig. "I don't want to be egotistical about it, but I Ml I women, I'd like to provide you with a bit of doggerel I composed in response. Maxine Derringer, Las Vegas Dear Maxine: Your poem is an absolute hoot! I'm sure it will raise more than a few eyebrows. TO HIS MOTHER.

4 friend, your Drotner, your father, even your grandfather. I am the guy who becomes your friend so I can get close to your child. Ann, the best warning I can give your readers is this: If an adult is spending a lot of time with your child, there is a reason, and improbably a bad one. Why else'Wuld an adult want to take your child to the mov lamps temporarily) and a night light for the bathroom. Often when waking at night, it takes awhile to get my bearings! When we are ready to leave, we unplug the night light remove our bulbs and replace the hotel specials.

Helen, Sterling, Va. This is good advice for anyone who travels. too, carry a think Rolf is a character the writers are having a lot say, Dear -U Ann Landers and yet, Hints from Heloise I fir Abby Abigail Van Buren Somehow forget Twas you him around of fun with," says Utay. And I am just grateful that 'the fit' was good, that I came in and in a short time was able to establish a very distinctive character. I'm having a great time playing Rolf.

I think that translates on screen." With an acting style "that runs the gamut from Jackie Gleason to Basil Rathbone to Jerry Lewis," Utay believes that there's a bit of all of the above in Rolf. There's sort of a droll zaniness to what I do. I play against the situation. That's what I have the best time doing," he says. A native of Texas, Utay knew he wanted to be an actor since childhood.

He studied theater at Southern Methodist University in Texas; then moved to Boston where he worked with The Charles Playhouse. Utay moved to California in 1979 seeking work at what would become his forte, character acting. "Within a few years I was doing television regularly, lots of episodic comedies. But it wasn't until Night Court that I really got in some TVQ. That's when I became recognizable," says Utay referring to.his nine-year run as Phil the Derelict.

Today's Birthdays: Movie director James Ivory is 71. Actress Virginia McKenna is 68. Singer Tom Jones is 59. Poet Nikki Giovanni is 56. Actor Ken Osmond Leave It to Beaver) is 56.

Talk show host Jenny Jones is 53. Actress Anne Twomey is 48. Actor Liam Neeson is 47. Actor William Forsythe is 44. Record producer LA Reid is 43.

The artist formerly known as Prince is 41. Rock singer-musician Gordon Gano (The Violent Femmes) is 36. Rock musician Eric Kretz (Stone Temple Pilots) is 33. "JKi LOCKHORNS bunny hoest and john reiner mmmmh night light as well as a small travel flashlight It sure makes a world of difference. Heloise Dear Heloise: My daughter has a wine cellar under her steps going down to the lower level of her home.

I think she came up with a really clever idea for this small space. She has stacked cylinder-shaped clay drainage tiles (they look like pieces of clay pipe) on top of one another in the small area, and she places a wine bottle in each cylinder. Mildred Lewellen, Lancaster, Pa. Dear Heloise: I have a lot of houseplants, and some of them are so full it is hard to water them with a watering can without spilling the water on the floor. I use my turkey baster to water them.

It works really well for me, and I also use it to empty water from the saucers. I don't use it for turkey basting anymore! Norma Kelly, Westover, W.Va. Dear Heloise: Here is a hint for car travelers. When we travel to Chicago, St. Louis and Tennessee, I write the name, address and phone number of who we might stop to see on that page of the road atlas.

I also paper-clip the states we will be traveling through so they're easier to find. Donna Stuckey, Woodland Park, Colo. Dear Heloise: I am thankful my mother saved all the letters I wrote to her over the years because I now have a complete diary to give our children of all the cute sayings and important family happenings which occurred as they grew up. I'm updating this by printing all the e-mail messages our daughter-in-law sends about our grandbaby so she, too, can someday have a detailed diary of her growth. Marge Henderson, Friendswood, Texas Dear Heloise: When I receive small packs of coupons and ads and can't use them, I staple several together and use them as shopping lists or for scrap paper.

Thrifty, huh? Blie Gavegan, Long Valley, NJ. Dear Heloise: My Sound Off is too-small plastic gloves in hair-color kits. Charlesa Treat, Lincoln, Neb. Write to Heloise in care of The Palm Beach Post P.O. Box 24700, West Palm Beach, FL, ies, to the mall, to video arcades, to the swimming pool, to car races, to amusement parks or on overnight camping trips? Be alert to any adult who is giving your child a lot of special attention and is willing to take him or her anywhere.

That adult may seem kind and helpful, but believe me, there could be a motive behind the kindness. If this is happening to your children, you need to start asking questions. And be aware that children could lie to you about what's going on because they are afraid the molester will harm them or they will get into trouble with you, their par ents. When I was molested as a child, I lied to my father when he asked about it because I was afraid he would punish me. Had I told him, the molestation surely would have stopped, and I would have received help.

Instead, the molesting went on for years. It destroyed my life and the lives of others because I became a molester and did the same things that were done to me. I prey mostly on the children of single mothers, who welcome someone who will take their child off their hands for a while, and they like the father figure I provide. The children welcome me because I act like a big kid myself and take them places they enjoy. If your child is lonesome, he is the perfect target for a pedophile.

Whoever is reading this, please think about what is going on in your family. If you are a grandparent consider your son or daughter's household. If everyone would just take the time to talk to their children, thousands of kids could be spared the trauma, heartache and pain that a pedophile can create. A molester can also turn the child into a pedophile, too. A molested kid has a l-in-4 chance of becoming a molester.

Carefully ask your child questions that will get truthful answers, not turnoffs. Don't put any blame on the child. Show children you care about them. No Name, No City Dear No Name: Here is your letter, which is sure to generate some negative response from adult males who fit your description but will deny there is anything unwholesome about their relationship with the children they befriend. Ann Landers' column appears daily.

Write to her in care of "The Palm Beach Post P.O. Box 24700, West Palm Beach, Fla. 334164700. To grab whatever hit the ground. MM' And in your hand, to make it super, A real gold-plated pooper scooper! Twas you who gave him his way when you Let him demand a separate menu.

1 Perhaps if he had been a daughter, You might have taught him to boil water. His little socks and underwear You let him throw just anywhere. Twas you who taught him how to say, "What can the world do for me today?" And so, today; beside me stands The man that 1 took off your hands. You raised him with such cunning knack, I think 111 let you have him back. Dear Abby.

I'm writing in the hope that you will print a gentle reminder in your column about displaying "Old Glory," our national flag. As we approach Flag Day (June 14), I thought it might be a good time to remind people that it may be time to replace their worn or torn flags after all, the American flag is an important symbol and not just an ornament. Children as well as adults should realize there are rules and customs associated with displaying the "red, white and blue." Nashua, N.H., Patriot Dear Patriot There are many do's and don'ts related to displaying the American flag. The flag should fly only from sunrise to sunset on buildings and stationary flagstaffs. It should not be displayed at night, unless it is properly illuminated.

The flag should be lowered in stormy weather, unless an all-weather flag is being used. When it has become tattered, torn or faded, the accepted method of disposal is to burn it Those who are uncomfortable with this method should contact an American Legion post. Most posts have an annual ceremony to honorably dispose of old or worn flags. To learn more about the flag code, visit www.legion.orgflagcode.htm. Dear Abby appears daily.

Write to her in care of The Palm Beach Post, P.O. Box 24700, West Palm Beach, Ha. 334164700. I MARRIAGE OF I FIGARO YOU KNOW I HATE WEDDING6!" I. I I Horoscope by JOYCE JILLSON Openly gay couples remain slim minority at arts school III If today Is your birthday: Expectations are getting bigger, your life will certainly live up to the picture you've painted in your mind's eye.

Aries (March 21-April 19). Share bright ideas with receptive i2folleagues, especially by speaking in public. Keep comments Jlnd critiques constructive. Taurus (April 20-May 20). Vou're a creative thinker, but jyour approach should be more pragmatic today for maximum effectiveness.

Gemini (May 21-June 21). jfou could fall for someone who Wiows remarkable determination jnd a love for enterprise. Tact diplomacy are your strong juits. 22 Cancer (June 22-July 22). j2nbitious and proud, you could -jjnake wrong decisions in haste, pon't be afraid to admit you've made a mistake it's easier to fix when you cop to it right away.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). You make terrific use of the knowledge at your disposal. Even mediocre talents can become amazing with the right amount of work, so don't judge yourself; just keep practicing. Virgo (Aug.

23-Sept. 22). Concentrate on a particular project and act decisively. You are a capable organizer with a resolute mind. You break new intellectual ground.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Be rebellious at work, but not in love. A surprise encounter has potentially enlightening, even revolutionary, implications.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You are happier working than wasting your energy in the pursuit of pleasure, but both have their merits. Step back from a current project for a better handle on long-term plans.

Lively conversation is featured this evening. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The active life is the only life for you, but scheduling could become congested now.

Don't stress out just say "no" sometimes. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You pick up on the subtleties that give insight to love and business matters.

Involve friends in new romantic considerations. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Socializing soothes your spirit and ignites romance.

You achieve a unique and fulfilling understanding with a close friend. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Show what you can do in an unassuming way. It's fine to be frivolous, especially now that you can afford to.

You are always on guard for people to say "Oh, School of the Arts, and give you that weird look, as if trying to assess your sexuality by looking at you It's time to dispel the myth that DSOA is a gay student's school. BRITTANY CARRiDGE Junior 3heinwold's bridge by FRANK STEWART South dealer mm N-S vulnerable NORTH A84 P64 OKJ 10432 43 me- The wrong mascot Are students more intolerant at other Palm Beach County high schools? Cathy Miller, a science teacher at DSOA, taught at Cardinal Newman High School for 10 years. "Newman was a typical nigh school with a strong sports program. That athletic mentality coupled with the secular influence made for a very controlled atmosphere. There were many times when we knew kids were gay, but they didn't come to terms with it until later in life." Senior Jenny Fuller is the captain of the DSOA girls' varsity soccer team.

Fuller, who is not gay, recalls being jeered by Cardinal Newman during a game her freshman year. "The team from Cardinal Newman had made these buttons that said, 'Beat the she said. "I was like, Where did you get rainbows from? (A symbol for gay pride.) We're the They said, Well, we just assumed that was your mascot since there's so many gay people at your Open mind valued Junior Brittany Cartlidge has received derogatory comments "too many times to count," especially at speech and debate tournaments. "You are always on guard for people to say 'Oh, School of the and give you that weird look, as if trying to assess your sexuality by looking at you. I actually developed a line to say after I was asked what school I went to: 'Oh, I'm not I said it to answer the question I knew they were thinking.

It's time to dispel the myth that DSOA is a gay student's school," she said. Other students agree. "In the past six years at DSOA," said senior Melanie Light "I have been molded and shaped into a mature and responsible young adult ready to face the world with strong values and more importantly, an ex-V tremely open mind." Lisa Cericola, co-editor of DSOA's newspaper, State of the Arts, won first place for feature writing in The Palm Beach Post's 1999 Excellence in High School Journalism awards for a version of this story. STEREOTYPE From ID Academically and artistically, Dreyfoos School of the Arts in West Palm Beach is known for breaking the high school mold. A school without a football team? A school where boys take dance classes? A school that replaces jocks and cheerleaders with musicians and actors? In many ways, DSOA is the anti-high school and that difference may be at the root of the stereotype.

Senior Melanie Light has attended DSOA for she years, and she believes that misconceptions about the school are formed by a lack of sensitivity in other students. "The insecurity of teenagers with a 'machismo' mentality often leads to rumors and misleading information about things they do not understand," she said. "In no way should DSOA be labeled a 'gay' school, the percentage of gay students at our school is still a minority." Freedom is misunderstood What is true, however, is that artists, especially teenage artists, tend to express themselves dramatically. Put them in one school together, and there's an assortment of different styles, talents and freedom to dye their hair blue, form a band, recite poetry in front of a crowd or even "come out" if they're gay. "Many of our students do not fit the traditional mold of the high school student" said DSOA visual arts teacher Bill Walter.

"They are labeled 'different'. But I don't think there are more gay students, just more who are comfortable or accepting of themselves without hiding behind traditional behaviors." The image of the free-thinking, creative artist is sometimes followed by an assumption of homosexuality, and male dancers seem to suffer from this stereotype the most. This year there are nine male students out of 168 in the DSOA dance department. Junior Herbert Dingle, who is straight, is one of the nine teens, and he believes that "false accusations" are a major reason why more males WEST 'I 10973 KQ 103 --0Q EAST 62 1972 OA985 1095 "I'm queen of the world," the Queen of Diamonds told Alice haughtily, "or at least of Wonderland. None of the kings and aces dare capture me." "Yes, Your Majesty," said Alice politely.

"You don't believe me?" snorted the Queen. "Just watch." The Mad Hatter, West, led the jack of spades against Alice's 3NT, and Alice won with the queen and led a diamond. The Hatter played the queen, and Alice reached for dummy's king. "No, no!" bellowed the Queen of Diamonds, who was kibitzing. "Remember what I said." So Alice played low from dummy.

She won the next spade and led her last diamond to the king and East's ace. Alice could then win the heart return and get to dummy with the ace of spades to run the diamonds. She took four diamonds, three spades, two clubs and a heart If South covers the queen of diamonds with the king, East can play low and take the ace if dummy leads the jack next South can't set up and cash the diamonds and probably goes down two. DAILY QUESTION AJ85476 A 8 2. Dealer, at your right opens one heart What do you say? ANSWER: A bid of INT would promise a balanced 16 to 18 points with strength in hearts; and if that was your answer, I can't disagree.

Still, to pass is tempting if the opponents are vulnerable. You have a good defensive hand, and your best chance for a good score may come if the opponents get too high and go down doubled. RICK KIRKMAN AND JERRY SCOTT do not apply for the program. The dance department he said, is just like any other art department in the school. A secret until 16 Most homosexuals realize that they are gay at the age of 12, according to a survey by the National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth.

Survey respondents said they didn't mentally accept their sexual preference until they were 15, and kept it a secret on average, until age 16. The reason for the secrecy: Fear of punishment or judgment One distinction between most high schools and DSOA, one graduate said, is the lack of disdain toward gay students. Physical acts of friendship are much more common than physical acts of brutality. Girls link arms and breeze down hallways together, friends hug and kiss each other on the cheeks, and couples straight and sometimes gay hold hands and pair off in clouds of teenage euphoria. But like most high schools, openly gay couples make up a slim minority.

"Even at beautiful School of the Arts, there are whispers and slurs about who's experimenting with whom," said alumna Kerry Downey, who is a lesbian. "Peer pressure and insulting is an art to high schoolers. They get you right where it hurts. 'Are you two sisters? Then why are you holding 'Is she your girlfriend? Can we SOUTH KQ5 5AJ85 076 AK82 SOUTH WEST NORTH EAST INT Pass 2 NT Pass 3 NT All Pass Opening lead I 1999, Los Angeles Times Syndicate BABY BLUES Mooter's PAceioTHe THlSTIMtyoO fKlr JTVhTITltnTnrnnnni i 3 1 II It II I 1 I I I I I I II I I I I I I ToTfcY TO WW!.