The Palm Beach Post from West Palm Beach, Florida • Page 75

THE PALM BEACH POST TUESDAY, JUNE 30, 1998 3D NEWS AND VIEWS ABOUT SENIORS TODAY Poetry readings, 8:30 p.m., O'Shea's Pub, Clematis Street, West Palm Beach. The Dead or Alive Poets Society invites you to read your own work or other poets' works. Free. Call 833-3865. Michael Rose Or- irAri I cnestra, p.m.

i uesdays, li I Eddie D's (in Crystal Tree Mother Teresa inspired manv There are many reasons not to lend son money By KENT S. COLLINS Los Angeles Times I am widowed and have two daughters and one son. My son wants to borrow money from me. I le says he needs it to revitalize his appliance store. He says he'll put up his own house as collateral.

I le wants to borrow $75,000 and pay it back when he sells the store after he's built the business back. What should I tell him? I'm not' sure I can afford to make such a loan. 71-year-old widow Tell Plaza), 1201 U.S. 1, North Palm Beach. Jimmy Falzone, Wednesday through Saturday; Jimmy Falzone with Scotti Dear Anita: One of my heroes in this century was Mother Teresa.

I would like to know more about her and her life and wondered whether you knew of a special book I could buy. Dear Reader: We were truly blessed to have had such a "saint" in our lifetime and we ta nsr Tuc Mccrrr Clements and Bobbi Fridays and Saturdays; Juanita Dixon, J.J. McKinney and Ed Koch, Mondays. Call 626-7373 for more information. could all learn from her self-sarrifice and romnassion.

COMING WEDNESDAY Michael Collopy wrote I Works of Love Are Works of Peace, which is a compilation him any of TUC the follow Ernie Greer Ernie Greer sustained a professional guitar career for 40 years despite a major missed opportunity. Greer, 74, of Boca Raton was asked to bring his guitar and singing act aboard with the U.S. Navy in 1942, but he opted for a Naval career as a gunner instead perhaps the biggest single regret of his life. Senior 15 ing of the photos on Mother I e-resa and her sisters. Collopy was Mother Teresa's photographer and followed her around the globe with a camera, documenting her life and work.

He knew her personally, and shares many inspiration Anita Finley STARS I hate to tell you what a damn fool I was," recalled Greer. "I joined the service to see action and I saw plenty of it, but (if I had traveled as an entertainer with the Navy) I might have amounted to something and The Long Way Home, 1 p.m. at Temple Sinai's Library and Adult Education Department, 2475 West Atlantic Delray Beach. Free admission. Call 495-9148 or 276-6161.

Sunsets in the Park, p.m. along the Intracoastal Waterway behind the Jupiter-Te-questa-Juno Beach Chamber of Commerce office, 800 N. U.S. 1, Jupiter. Features artists, food and music.

Free. Call 746-7111. Poetry karaoke, p.m. at Liberties Fine Books, Mizner Park, 309 Plaza Real, Boca Raton. Call 368-1300.

Joni Mahoney, 8-11 p.m. as part of Jazz in Jupiter at Sprazzo restaurant, 201 N. U.S. 1, Jupiter. No cover charge; reservations recommended.

Call 575-9509. Jim Mendrinos and Maurice, 9 p.m. Wednesday-Friday and 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. Saturday at Bocanuts Comedy Club, 8221 Glades Road, Boca Raton. For ticket prices, call 470-6887.

-f I made a lot money, too. AJ That misstep aside, Greer said he nas enjoyea periorming easy listening music on his acoustic guitar over the years. He recently copyrighted a song he wrote titled Wish You Were Here, which he said is reminiscent of Willie Greer LOOKING AHEAD al and humorous stones about his experiences with her and her Missionaries of Charity. He said that she hated having her picture taken, and that he was the only American photographer to ever get her to sit for portrait photos. Dear Anita: I recently attended a birthday celebration for two outstanding senior citizens: 97 and 93 years young.

They are devoted to each other. He writes her a love message each and every day and has for as long as they have been married. Although they are frail and having some health problems, their love seems to grow and blossom each day. I wish young people would take lessons on nurturing and keeping the fires of love burning. Dear Reader: Not everybody can write love notes, but the stores are filled with cute and serious love notes.

Sexologists refer to it as a form of "foreplay." Anita Finley 's STARS Seniors Taking Active Roles in Society specializes in seniors concerns. Write to her clo The Post, P.O. Box 24700, West Palm Beach, Fla. 33416-4700. THE BEST YEARS Nelson songs.

Born in Alabama, Greer lived in Miami most of his life and worked there as a building contractor when he wasn't performing. He retired about 10 years ago and has been married 30 years to Hilda. These days Greer keeps busy performing his music and that of Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and others for groups around the community, including the Mae Volen Senior Center in Boca Raton. He is also president of his homeowners association and active in his neighborhood improvement group. "I stay pretty busy," Greer said.

"If you sit down and get in the rocking chair and don't stay active, that's when you get old and die, and I'm not ready for that." JENNY VOGT 8c. FORUM bud!" "You get it when I die, son." "Go away and never come back with a scheme in your heart." "I am old and broke, and would you please lend me money?" Once you've said these things, this son will go away for a few days, contemplate some new angles and come back with the same request. He'll pro1 ably suggest that the loan be debited -against any inheritance you might leave him: "I need it now, Mom. By the time you die, it could be too late." I lere are some reasons why you should not lend him the money. 1.

If he is capable of repaying the loan, he can get it from a lending institution. 2. If he is a good credit risk, the same. 3. He's not offering the business as collateral because it is likely already pledged on other loanscredit.

4. The house as collateral is worthless unless you want to evict your grandchildren. 5. Your daughters will think less of you and of him for doing it. 6.

His ability to sell the business and recoup your money is beyond your ability to determine. 7. Your own income could suffer greatly if you remove $75,000 from your dividend-producing assets. 8. Bailing out this son even if you could afford the loss might teach him a bad lesson.

9. Lending once sets a precedent for him to come back for more, and for the daughters to start. If your question fits this space, send it to The Senior Forum, co the Los Angeles Times Syndicate, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053. Hugh O'Neill, 8 p.m.-midnight, Thursday through Saturday and July 9-11, at Rooney's Public House, 213 Clematis West Palm Beach. Call 833-7802.

"94.3 Beach Summer Shin-Dig," 7-10 p.m. Thursday Ocean City Lumber Co. in Delray Beach. Features music by the Fabulons and prize sponsored by 94.3 FM. Call 439-1111.

Sunset Celebration, 6-9 p.m., Thursdays at Sailfish Marina and Resort, 98 Lake Drive, Palm Beach Shores. Features art show and live music. Free. Call 840-8832 or 844-1724. Tropic Fest, Friday and Saturday at Bryant Park, on the Intracoastal Waterway off Lake Avenue in downtown Lake Worth.

Opens 5 p.m. Friday with the Night Beat band and jazz singer Karen Makk; features Ellis Island at 8:15 p.m. Reflections plays at 1:15 p.m. Saturday. Also features foods, children's games and rides; skydives and water ski shows Saturday.

Call 533-7359. Iko Iko, 7:30 p.m. Friday poolside at PGA National Resort and Spa, off PGA Boulevard, Palm Beach Gardens. Part of its "Jazz Under the Stars" series. Tickets $10.

Call 627-2000. Bradley Ditto, acoustic artist, 3-5 p.m. Friday at Liberties Fine Books, Mizner Park, 309 Plaza Real, Boca Raton. Call (561) 368-1300. ED HECHTMAN 1.

EVERY THING SHE MAKES 7 THING SHE MAKES MY WIFE COOKS I DOES VOUR WIFE DO if RELIGQUS1Y' IS EITHER A SACRfC IS EITHER A $ACRfC A LOT OF COOKING? Imbruglia a natural-born performer Don't forget to pack love, humor for family reunion share credits, including Leave Me Alone, co-written with Simply Red producer Andy Wright, and her current single, Big Mistake, co-written with Mark Goldenberg, who wrote the Eels' hit Novocaine for the Soul. It didn't hurt that the album was mixed by Nigel Goodrich (producer of Radiohead's critically acclaimed OK Computer) or that another of its producers, Phil Thornalley, already had a song in mind for Imbruglia. A song with a curious history. A song titled Torn. Thornalley, a onetime member of the Cure, had co-written Torn in 1994 with members of a Los Angeles pop-punk band, Ednaswap, who recorded it on their 1995 debut and again on a 1997 EP.

Imbruglia calls the original version "beautiful," but it got no airplay. The song was also a No. 1 in Norway for singer Trine Rein, and a Top 10 hit in Denmark for Lis Sorensen, long before Imbruglia's version appeared in the fall of 1997. Still, it was her version supported by a mesmerizing video by Alison Maclean, director of the New Zealand film Crush that caught the public's fancy. While the British music media suggested that Imbruglia had ripped off previous recorded versions of the song, she had never claimed authorship of Torn, which ended up topping the British charts for 14 weeks (only Candle in the Wind '97 did better last year).

Sensing the buzz, Los Angeles' KROQ started playing an import version of Torn in January (the album wasn't due out here until mid-March) and other stations soon followed suit. MTV slammed the video into its "Buzz Bin," and Saturday Night Live; realizing a pop phenomenon was already in progress, bent its rules by booking Imbruglia before her album was available. What's on the immediate horizon is live concert performances, which she's done very little of until now. "I'm comfortable onstage," Imbruglia says. "It's something I've done all my life, be it dancing, singing, acting.

There's new battles, obviously, doing a whole set and singing a stamina thing that has to be worked on, but as far as the adrenaline rush and getting up there and doing it, I absolutely love it." ambitious. She wasn't spicy enough!" Eventually, Imbruglia got restless. "There was a lot of restriction in that job," she explains. "I couldn't even cut my hair for two years." So in 1995, the show's producers married Beth off to boyfriend Brad and moved them to Perth kind of the same thing as being killed off'). Imbruglia herself went quite a bit farther, all the way to London, where she partied heartily on the club scene and social circuit, even as episodes of Neighbours ran on British television a full year behind the original broadcasts.

"I needed to go out and get crazy and not have to get up Monday morning and go to work," she says. Though she'd sung in musicals and amateur shows, she'd not really given that much attention to music, beyond an early devotion to Joni Mitchell (and later Rickie Lee Jones and Shawn Colvin). "Before that, I listened to mostly Top 40, and it was probably more about the song than about the artist," says Imbruglia. "And I never tried to write songs. It was something I didn't think I was capable of doing." She had also wondered about the Kylie Minogue factor.

Like Imbruglia, Minogue had started her career as a girl-next-door on Neighbours, leaving in 1988 and moving to London. There, she teamed up with red-hot producers Stock, Aitken and Waterman, recorded a No. 1 hit, Should Be So Lucky, and quickly established herself as a mid-level act, as did Minogue's Neighbours boyfriend, Jason Donovan. "People actually said 'You're not going to make a single, are Like a joke. And I would laugh with them at myself.

I had no sense of self, no sense of strength as to what I wanted to do." Teamed with hit writers Imbruglia started writing in her Chelsea bedroom, though it would be months before she shared anything, and a year before the album came out. "I thought I have to do this or I'm going to shrivel away," she recalls. "There was so much opportunity for me, and the only thing holding me back was me." Imbruglia also did a smart thing, deciding to hook up with more experienced writers. "There's no way I would have done it on my own," she concedes. Ten of the 12 tracks on her debut NATALIE IMBRUGLIA From ID family as a Down Under Brady Bunch, though Natalie herself seems modeled more after a character from Fame.

The second oldest of four sisters, Imbruglia started dancing when she was eventually, jazz, tap and ballet classes occupied her six days a week, with acting and singing lessons added on later. She sounds like a diaper dandy with stars in her eyes. "Oh yeah, absolutely," Imbruglia says. "I was born with it. I thought that's how everybody was.

I would get frustrated with my sisters because they didn't know what they wanted to do. I couldn't fathom not knowing." Almost a decade ago, some Australian entrepreneur auditioned a bunch of students from Imbruglia's school with the idea of forming a dance-pop girl group (he also wanted to sign Natalie as a solo recording act). All of 14, Imbruglia turned down the offer. "I'd been performing and singing throughout my childhood," she says matter-of-factly. "But somewhere inside, I knew the time was not right.

I was too scared and insecure, and I felt the kind of music I wanted to do was too mature for my age at the time. I mean, even now, I sometimes feel like I don't have the wisdom to do what I want to do. But at 14, I thought this is ridiculous for me to sing songs about these kinds of relationships. People will laugh at me." Starring in a soap at 16 Imbruglia dropped out of school at 16, did some commercials and auditioned for a role on Neighbours, a long-running teen-oriented Australian soap opera. She won the part of Beth, which she played for two years and which brought Imbruglia a first taste of stardom.

"I was completely swept away with being on television, in a great way," she says. "I was the coolest 17-year old around!" Imbruglia describes Beth, who wore long, lanky hair, as "sweet, naive, a country girl, old-fashioned, not a '90s girl at all. And a tomboy, as well, a brickie (construction worker). She was a nice person, bordering on boring nice I'm not that nice," she says with a laugh. "And she wasn't by yourselves to talk things over.

What this approach lacks in drama, it makes up for in effectiveness. What do I say to relatives who've gone through hard times fighting cancer or losing a job or getting divorced? Or maybe I shouldn't say anything at all? Keeping silent isn't the answer. Better to make some kind of supportive remark than simply ignore the situation. The person who's been going through a difficult time can pick up on your expression of concern or shut down conversation. Take the cue, and respect it.

But often they will welcome the reaching out, and a reunion is a good time for it. As one recently divorced woman said shortly after her family reunion, "I was dreading the reunion. I felt like such a failure. The divorce was so raw, like an open wound. But at the reunion I felt such acceptance from the family that I could let down my defenses." What can I do to get my spouse interested in the reunion? The archetypal in-law at a reunion is a reluctant person who would rather break rocks in the hot sun than struggle through an exchange of small talk with Great-Aunt Dorothy.

But handled with care, a spouse can be brought into the fold, more or less painlessly. Here are a few guidelines: Request only one command performance a day. Then let your spouse go his or her own way fishing, golfing, to the mall or back to bed. Limit dwelling in the past. Sure, a reunion can bring in-laws into the family culture by imparting family stories, history and Uncle Ed's really bad jokes, but few spouses can cope with a nonstop immersion into a family's past.

Suggest reunion activities that your spouse actually likes. If the reunion features his or her kind of fun fishing, golf, sailing he or she will be happy to return the next time. Give your spouse the family he or she has always wanted. If you cajole your significant other into attending the reunion, and lay off his or her case once there, your spouse might discover what the reunion has to offer more people to love and be loved by. Not 'a bad deal at all.

REUNIONS From ID as memories of less-than-perfect relationships with family surface. But with a bit of thoughtful effort, relationships can improve, and reunions are just the place to strengthen what's right and valuable in them. Below are common family problems and tactical responses for coping with them. Some responses were suggested by family therapists Evan ImberBlack and Janine Roberts. Should we invite my uncle, the family black sheep, to the reunion? Unless a relative has committed a heinous, unforgivable crime failing to call Grandmother at Christmas is not in this category he or she should be invited to the reunion.

Perhaps your family or at least you are now prepared to cope with, even enjoy, what makes other family members different. And perhaps the black sheep was not all that radically different to start with. How can those who feel outside the family loop single people, middle-aged people who haven't had kids, gays or freewheeling artist types take their place in the family circle? If possible, those who feel like outsiders should try to get involved in the reunion planning. By doing so, they help create the reunion in their own image and bond with other family members in a shared effort. As a result, they're viewed by those attending as family insiders.

Those who don't meet certain family expectations should try before the reunion to figure out what common ground they do have with other family members and build on that: an interest in family history, for example, or being terrific with young children. What if I have a major issue I want to settle with a family member or a big family secret that has been uncon-fessed for years? Reunions should not be used as a forum in which to work through long-standing issues before a large, live audience. If you have a bone of contention with a relative, deal with it person-to-person. Plan in advance to take an hour or two out of the reunion and go off JusI 50C Looking for horoscopes on the edge of outraqeous? Try (all ill's humorscopes for a change. Oeverly produced by Madame Gabrirllf and her Ik hour bodyguard street toughTony Casino, youH enjoy the funniest weekly wind up of what's hot and what's not in the heavens.

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