The Des Moines Register from Des Moines, Iowa • Page 47

LKS MolNKS SUNDAY KKGiS'l thlm UC'I uttr.it oO, itftfl C-1 JC Weddings IVIiss MAmERSJudit Martin It's wise to avoid anyone who carries a petty grudge for long rri Pn Tm fT tv4 -k A Barbara Conradt CoyM Hohn -1 'J Dear Miss Manners: New Year's Eve last year, my boyfriend, his sister, hertlate, and I were at a restaurant, and he picked up the bread and offered it td his sister first, then he offered it to me. I was seething with anger. Shouldn't he have offered the bread to me He said no. You are supposed to offer it tothe lady who is not your date first. Which is it? Also, if it was his mother or my mother, would your answer be any different? Miss Manners says: No, it would still be to drop this courtship.

And Miss Manners would address it to the gentleman. She feels it her duty to warn him (as a devoted mother or sister would also do) that anyone who carries a petty New Year's grudge beyond January 3 is to be avoided. Miss Manners does not, however, feel that she is doing you an injury. You don't want to associate with anyone guilty of great heavens! passing the bread to his sister. But just in case you meet another such criminal, Miss Manners thinks you ought to know that: 1.

Bread is merely passed around the table, not in a way that singles out individuals in order of rank, 2. When rank does matter, a gentleman shares his own rank with his lady so that putting himself last among the gentlemen to be served, he would put her last among the ladies. arises, comments that he doesn't eat red meat. Miss Manners says: Without throwing you to the vegetarians, Miss Manners doubts your assumption that anyone's dissension from what you call cultural norms passes without adverse comment these days, no matter how tactfully it is phrased. One way of looking at it is that everyone loves a good philosophical debate.

Another is that they feel free to comment rudely on other people's habits. But wait a minute you are explaining yourself as wanting everyone to know that you dissent from the cultural norms. And since your listeners are the cultural norms, what did you expect? Humble thanks? Miss Manners is delighted to hear that parental restrictions on television-watching have led your son to enjoy reading. There is nothing wrong with discussing your feelings about the Disney company, provided you put forth the topic as a conversation, in which you are interested in hearing other people's views as well as stating your own. The same with a discussion of the effect of television on children, or on what television limits parents should set.

Merely to mention your principles in passing gives them a tone of "I'm doing the right thing," to which your listeners have no trouble adding the provocative implication of "and you're not." making body contact with both. I was both embarrassed and aggrieved was there a better way for me to handle this? Miss Manners says: These are jumpy times, and when Miss Manners started reading your story, she thought she was going to encounter provocative bullies, who were engaging in an evil show of strength by refusing to allow you entrance. But, whew. It's only thoughtless people too engaged in their own conversation to take in your situation and accommodate you. The solution is to call it to their attention as firmly as necessary to make them move.

Your request was exactly right but unfortunately, you needed to persist by saying politely, "I don't believe I can squeeze through you like that." It's a nuisance, but what were you embarrassed about? They were the ones who were being impolite. Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I hold long-standing philosophical objections to television and to the Disney Corporation, although we do not totally boycott either one. As the parents of a small child, we are bringing him up with minimal exposure to TV, videos or the commoner franchised characters. (Interestingly, he nevertheless recognizes Mickey, Barney and Big Bird.) Our son is outgoing and active, and he loves books. In conversation with other parents, I will occasionally make such remarks as, "I'm afraid my son doesn't know that show; he doesn't watch TV," or "Actually, we're anti-Disney in our household." This comments often spark defensive or even hostile reactions, and lead to awkward moments.

Is expressing a minority opinion intrinsically rude? Is it impolite of me to make my sentiments known? Believe me, I neither criticize nor attempt to proselytize others. Yet I feel that remaining complete silent implies acceptance of some cultural norms with which I disagree. I compare myself to the vegetarian who, when the subject of hamburgers LyLu Dear Miss Manners: As I approached the door to the meeting room, to attend an awards ceremony for a volunteer group that I was active in, I found a couple I did not know completely blocking the doorway. When I got close, they both looked at me, but continued their conversation and did not move. When I got very close, I said, "Excuse me, may 1 pass?" They did not move out of the way, but nearly flattened their backs against the door frame.

I am a large person, and was forced to squeeze between them, I i 1 $1 per line per day in The Register Classifieds For details call 284-8141, or 1-800-532-1585. Nofi-comnvrcij! advertisers, limited lime offer Statewide riles slightly hijlw Terms and rates ire determined by me value ol fte item. Call for -i mega additional qualifications Rene McCleary McCLEARY O'CONNER Re-nee O'Connor and Michael McCleary, both of Des Moines, were united in marriage Sept. 10. The bride is the daughter of Dan and Linda O'Conner of 5915 S.W.

Third St. The groom is the son of Harold and Sandra McCleary of 3232 Summit Vista Drive. The bride is a graduate student at the University of Iowa in Iowa City. The groom is a medical student, also at the of I. The couple will live in Iowa City.

Dannlt Moor Jr. Heather Agnew-Moora MOORE JR. AGNEW Heather Nichele Agnew and Dennis Moore both of Grinnell, were married Sept. 17. The bride is the daughter of Dan and Nancy Agnew of Grinnell.

The groom is the son of Dennis and Hedy Moore of Grinnell. The bride is a student at Cpe College in Cedar Rapids. The groom works for Wenco in Grinnell and is a professional sprint car driver. The couple will live in Grinnell. Robert Trlplett Julia Trlplett TRIPLETT HIGGS Julie Ann Higgs and Robert Charles Triplett, both of West Dps Moines, were married Sept.

24. The bride is the daughter of Hal and Trudie Higgs of 2605 Linda Drive. The groom is the son of Doris Triplett of 5837 Winwood Drive, Johnston, and the late Robert D. Triplett. The bride works for Central Life Assurance Company.

The groom works for Holmes Oldsmobile. The couple will live in West Des Moines. 4t N- Si, David Roblnwn Cynthia Roblnaon ROBINSON ALEXANDER Cynthia D. Alexander of Des Moines and David L. Robinson of Spirit Lake were married Sept.

3. The bride is the daughter of Stanford Alexander of Lenexa, and the stepdaughter and daughter of Richard and Martha Glanza of 2310 Linda Circle. The groom is the son of Jerry and Anita Robinson of Rolfe. The bride works for Dickinson County Care Facility in Spirit Lake. The groom works for Iowa Great Lakes Nursery Floral, also in Spirit Lake, where the couple will live.

LINTHICUM HILDRETH Vickie Jo Hildreth and Dr. Patrick J. Linthi-cum, both of Des Moines, were married Sept. 10. The bride is the daughter of Roger and Pat Smith of Perry.

The groom is the son of William C. and M. Jane Linthicum of 1505 Merle Hay Road. The bride works for The Principal Financial Group. The groom is a self-employed chiropractor.

The couple will live in Des Moines. Fifty Plus Anintversaries Ankeny Gene and Mary Heggen, 50 years, Nov. 11. Card shower. Bettendorf Harry and Helen Seward, 60 years, Oct.

27. De Molnei Everett and Mary Scott, 1911 Leland 50 years, Nov. 1 1 Lake Mill Ardell and Phyllis Auten, 205 S. Second Ave. 50 years, Nov.

5. Open house from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. at Lake Mills Civic Center, Nov. 6. Metervey Clarence and Elvira Kuhl- era, P.O.

Box 93, 50 years, Nov. 12. Card shower. Mltchellvllle Donald and Bobble Cochran, 315 Fifth 56 years, Oct. 20.

Murray Bruce and Nola Nledt, 50 years, Nov. 5. Card shower. Norwalk BobandLaVaughnHudton, 273 100th 50 years, today. Roland Arnold and Anna Belle Gade, 229 S.

Main, 59 years, Nov. 3. Waterloo Robert and Lorna Nell, formerly of Reinbeck, 50 years, Oct. 29. Open house from 4 to 7 p.m.

at United Auto Workers Hall, 2615 Washington Waterloo, today. Weit Bend Avery and Merle Carpenter, 69 years, Oct. 25. Wett Det Molnei Charles and Margaret Orebaugh, 60 years, today. MlchMl McClMry COYNE LUIKEN Jacquelynne Kristine Luiken and Philip Charles Coyne, both of Des Moines, were married July 23.

The bride is the daughter of David and Stephanie Luiken of 409 N.W. Arlan Drive, Ankeny. The groom is the son of Robert and Patricia Coyne of Waukee. The bride is a student at Drake University and is employed by Washington Square Mortgage Company in West Des Moines. The groom is an underwriter with Allied Insurance Company.

The couple will live in Des Moines. I ft JU1 1 MV A. Chart Gaulke Cynthia Gaulke GAULKE GALDE Cynthia Lynne Galde and Charles Alan Gaulke, both of Des Moines, were married July 23. The bride is the daughter of Robert and Glen-dora Galde of 1750 S.E. McKinley Ave.

The groom's parents are Ronald and Karen Gaulke of 127 N.E. 70th Place. The bride works for the Small Business Administration. The groom works for United Parcel Service and also for Midwest Surplus Sales in Ankeny The couple will live in Ankeny. Glenn Ivert Nancy lvr IVERS BARTLETT Nancy Louise Bartlett of West Des Moines and Glenn Harold Ivers of Des Moines exchanged wedding vows July 23.

The bride is the daughter of Donald and Gladys Bartlett of Waterloo. The groom is the son of Marjorie Ivers of Lime Springs and the late Harold Ivers. The bride works for Iowa Environmental Services in West Des Moines. The groom works for Pepsi-Cola General Bottlers. The couple will live in Urbandale.

I 8 Mark Arendi Krlitla Arendi ARENDS TAYLOR Kristie Taylor and Mark Arends, both of Alden, were married July 30. The bride is the daughter of Larry and Janaan Taylor of Clarion. The groom is the son of Sher-i man and Marcia Arends of LuVerne. The i bride works for Cargill in Iowa Falls. The groom is manager of Sieg Auto Parts in Iowa Falls.

The couple will live in Alden. 'A I Ps. a. Adrian Etplnoza-DIaz Jennifer Etplnoza-DIaz ESPINOZA-DIAZ REAGEN Jennifer Anne Reagen of West Des Moines and Adrian Espinoza-Diaz of Meri-da, Mexico, were married Aug. 6.

The bride is the daughter of Michael V. and Susan C. Reagen of 508 45th West Des Moines. The groom is the son of Al-varo Espinosa and Maria del C. Diaz of Merida.

The bride is a graduate assistant in telecommunications at Michigan State University in East Lansing, Mich. The groom is a recent graduate of the University of Yucatan, Mexico. The couple will livein Des Moines. Marty Hunt Jennifer Hunt HUNT GEHRINGER Jennifer Genringer and Marty Hunt, both of Des Moines, were married Sept. 10.

The bride is fjie daughter of Frank and Ann Genringer of 3901 Crestwood Road. The groom is f)ie son of Jon and Julia Hunt of Polk City. The bride is a certified public accountant for The PrinciDal Financial Grfpuo. Tjie groom works for the U.S. Postal Service.

The couple win live in Des Moines. Ga t0 fizz, HOEHNS CONRADT Barbara Conradt and Jim Hoehns, both of Iowa City, were united in marriage Aug. 13. The bride is the daughter of Paul and Martha Conradt of 4132 Ardmore St. The groom is the son of Thomas and Rachel Hoehns of Knoxville.

The bride is a doctor of pharmacy student at the University of Iowa in Iowa City. The groom is a post-doctoral pharmacy resident at the of I. The couple will live in Iowa City. Scott Coombs Susan Coomb COOMBS NELSON Susan Marie Nelson of West Des Moines and Scott Chandler Coombs of Des Moines were married Aug. 20.

The bride is the daughter of Mary A. Nelson of Lake City and the late Bernard C. Nelson. The groom's parents are Doris Coombs of Toledo, Ohio, and the late Kenneth Coombs. The bride works for Central Life Assurance.

The groom works for Downey Printing in Waukee. The couple will live in West Des Moines. Mlchaal Kliar Klmbarly Klter KISER COX Kimberly Sue Cox and Michael Owen Kiser, both of Pella, were married Aug. 20. The bride is the daughter of Ed and Lana Wood of Mar-tensdale.

The groom is the son of Ken Kiser of Pella, and the stepson and son of Wayne and Beverly Beihl of Pella. The bride works for Iowa Air National Guard. The groom works for Hy-Vee in Pella, where the couple will live. fl (A John Carpenter Jenifer Carpenter CARPENTER HOLMAN Jenifer Lynn Holman and John Glenn Carpenter, both of Quasqueton, exchanged wedding vows Oct. 8.

The bride's parents are Ray and Debra Holman of Waterloo. The groom is the son of Daryl and Shirley Carpenter of Coggon. Both the bride and groom work for Atwood Automotive in West Union. The couple will live in Quasqueton. KSIAZAK MELZ Marianne Melz of Clive and Frank Ksiazak of Des Moines were married Aug.

27. The bride is the daughter of the Rev. Arno and Opal Melz of Waterloo. The groom is the son of Frank and Pauline Ksiazak of Delavan, Wis. The bride works for The Principal Financial Group.

The groom works for Farmland Insurance. The couple will live in West Des Moines. WEDDINGS Announcements are published AFTER the wedding in the Sunday LrfeStyle section. To get your wedding announcement published, submit a completed, signed, Des Moines Register form no later than three months after the wedding. If you would like pictures to run with your wedding announcement, please include separate photos of the bride and groom with heads no smaller than a nickel.

No pictures can be returned. This service is free. For a form, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Weddings, Des Moines Register Newsroom, Box 957, Des Moines, la. 50304. No announcements can be accepted by phone or fax.

For more information, call (515) 284-8521. ANNIVERSARIES The Register will publish wedding anniversaries of 50 years or more. No photos will be published. Deadline is Tuesday noon the week of publication and Monday noon in holiday weeks. Send information to: Anniversaries, Des Moines Register Newsroom, Box 957, Des Moines, la.

50304. ENGAGEMENTS for metro area couples only are published BEFORE the wedding in the Wednesday Neighbors section. For a form, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Engagements, Neighbors, Box 957, Des Moines, la. 50304. In it mm S4 m.

1 i' SV in Htotnw IttWrr fcllWII I HI. HI III KISS IT GOODBYE IN THE CLASSIFIEDS 284-8141 Delivery Christmas. SEND ETIQUETTE QUESTIONS to Miss Manners, United Feature Syndicate, 200 Park New York, N.Y. 10166. United Feati'RE Syndicate clothing for the fuller figured woman OPEN TODAY Des Moines Park air Mall 100 E.

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