The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on September 7, 1967 · Page 44
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 44

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Thursday, September 7, 1967
Page 44
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The Wabasha (Minn.) County Herald advises that, "The best way to keep a teen-age daughter out of hot water is to put some dirty dishes in it. • This one comes from the Gratiot County Herald of Ithaca, Mich.: Sunday school teacher: "Now, who led the children of Israel out of Egypt?" Jimmy: "It wasn't me. We just moved here last week from Missouri." When you're past fifty, laments The Lacon (111.) Home Journal, there is a catch to kicking up your heels — usually right in the small of the back. • A pool-side philosophy, according to the Belvidere (111.) Daily Republican, is stated as: "Never has so much been stuffed into so little in front of so many." America may not have a good five-cent cigar, claims the Tri-County Truth of Churubusco, Ind., but it does have a good five-cent quarter. The Macon (Mo.) Chronicle-Herald reports: "Some people want to leave their footprints in the sands of time, and others would rather the tide came in and washed out their tracks." GRASSROOTS! GLEANINGS He who hesitates is—not sure this is the right exit, says The Ripon (Wis.) Commonwealth-Press. "Women find themselves at quite a disadvantage," recklessly comments The Lewistown (111.) News, "since they can now travel faster than sound." • "The wheel was man's greatest invention until he got behind it," claims the Wells County Free Press of Fessenden, N.D. • The Lancaster Farming of Lititz, Pa., advises: "Whenever you want a person to tell you how smart you are, first tell him how wonderful he is." • Remember the old days when the ladies made their dough in the kitchen instead of the office, asks the Anoka County Union of Anoka, Minn.? • The Arenac County Independent of Standish, Mich., tells about the woman who, on her_golden anniversary was asked if, during those fifty years, she had ever once considered divorce? "No," she replied, "only murder." • The Parkersburg (Iowa) Eclipse tells this one: Caught telling a lie, little Larry's mother asked him how he thought he'd get to heaven. After a moment of serious thinking, Larry answered brightly, "I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until someone says, 'For Heaven's sake, either come in or stay out,' and then I'll go in." • "What a small boy usually has up his sleeve," comments The Review of Plymouth, Wis., "is a dirty arm." "It's been a pretty slow week," comments the Devils Lake (N.D.) Morning Journal, "nobody stuck up an armored car in Boston." • The Spencer (Neb.) Advocate says, "Just wait until Luci and Pat find out that one of those Secret Service agents who's been with them since they left the White House is really Allen Funt. In a poverty crisis there is only one element more helpless than the poor, says the Hettingcr County Herald of New England, N.D., and that is the rich. Trying to understand modern art is like trying to follow the plot in a bowl of alphabet soup, complains The Sturgis (S.D.) Tribune. "*?* ^5Rv5s;,:;^*;-;,V'-x,,^--^ y* Uahftnina r;fI^:W^rlall?lllil . : '^' : " •- -• iPliftai*' rfftiililA ! ''liLi*tteM ' "*.V.;..••' PJP*™^W-: ; ™»^WIi^S!|i|PR;^iB^3^^^1 Its Ughtnlng.fart oper %&:>%$ ^•jr..''1!rti;/r:»fe .,.* At least once every minute this season, some hunter will be using chain lightning to connect with his bird. And the double action bars on a Remington Model 870 pump shotgun will have paid off again. Lightning rods. That's a good way to describe those carefully machined pieces of steel that give the 870 its lightning speed and effortless action. Over a million 870 shooters can so testify. And they can tell you some other solid facts: A receiver machined from solid steel. A breech block that locks into the barrel extension. A finish that looks like a million. Check around. Pump shotguns are a dime a dozen. But a Remington 870-with its lightning rods—is in a class by itself. From SI 04.95*. I

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