The Age from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia • Page 29

I 3 January 1993 The Sunday Age AGENDA 11 if "4 P15 P16 Working around Europe The best of things to do on Sunday rr Pleasures mm KitiiaJ 5 J) a Troy Every day or every week they meet, same place, same time. It's a way of escape, a habit, a way to get by with a little help from their friends. By Deborah Gray degrees, but during the winter months it often drops as low as five. The Breakaway Icebergers have a 2020 rule: 20 minutes in the sea, then 20 minutes under a hot shower to avoid hypothermia. i The Breakaways must swim 20 days a month failure to enter the water means expulsion from the team, with the only excuse being a physical or mental breakdown (with certificate provided).

John Locco's love for the baths began, when he was first a Brighton councillor. He and the council saved the baths from demolition 10 years ago: "The baths at the time were not economically viable, but with imagination and sponsorship they have survived." The Breakaways are all good friends who have grown up in the Brighton area, and consider the ritual as camaraderie. Peter Hamilton is an account executive with a vitamin company, Glen CUes Is a horticultural expert Julie Conquest, an English teacher at Sandringharo-Secondary College, finds the negaiive ions of the sea invigorating: "The wind that chills you on the way out warms you on the way in, giving you a special glow." Samantha Ward is a final-year Bachelor of Arts student; Her parents are regulars at the baths and she has grown up with the tradition, believing that "their daily ritual Js a shortcut to -1 THE SWIM At 4.30 pm each weekday, rain, bail or shine, the 40-year-old mayor of Brighton, schoolteacher John Locco, joins his team of five Breakaway Icebergers to take the plunge at the Middle Brighton sea baths. The original Icebergers began about 40 years ago and original member Harry Ralfbec, 83, still swims daily. Mr Locco formed the Breakaway Icebergers in 1984 when he realised that swimming in the afternoon meant fighting fewer people for the Showers.

During summer, the water temperature might be a balmy 22 0 0 Taking; tht plunge: Breakaways--(from left) John Locco, zi Samantha Ji Ward, Peter 3: Hamilton, MM Conquest, Glen Giles. 0 SA 8 :4 74 ttirroc AT THE TABLE It's 7JI am and group of Melbourne businesswomen are meeting for breakfast in the rarified atmosphere of the Regent Hotel's Cafe La. Denlse Martin, the Regent's PR whit, who conceived the Idea, believes "the breakfast Is per cent business and 41 per cent social These women are combining a family life with a very demanding business world, often working a 1 or 12-hour day, with the pressure to perform greater than The time of 7.31 was agreed on because diaries are filled with business commitments, and breakfast may be the only time to catch up and exchange ideas. Some of the regular breakfasters are Sue Lloyd-Williams, manager of the marketing section 6f the Victoria Racing Club, Sally Flynn, former PR officer at Channel 7, Dlanne Clark, director of human resources at Mann Judd Relss, Annie Dawson, the regional development manager of Qantas, Juliet Stokes, campaign manager of the Sudden Infant Death Research Foundation, and Denlse Martin. Dlanne Clark Is the only female director on a board of 11 at Mann Judd Relss.

"Men have an excellent old boys' she says. "Our breakfast Idea grew from a group of women In secure roles, who appreciate a second opinion on Issues that confront women and not their male colleagues. However, there is a fair share of following up on leads and deals." The women select from a breakfast menu of fruit salad, muesli and coffee, which might appear ordinary but their conversation Is not mH-Mikw ii in AT THE nillRi flat'VBob Hawke, at thetime presldentof travelling as far as Berwick and Frankston to compete at various clubs. "TOinoia-c III-' Ami: "helri his nwn At vrv hMtml Thirty years agq, the weekW Vingt Cinq Club competition serious; no chatter, line calls question-and-answer time wltt the trtf BgoJtjj. of football circles, a very Liberal Ron Vi The biggest day of the year for the Vingt unq uud is the urand Final Eve football dinner at the Southern Cross.

Each year thi ciud nas applications ror about. aoofl nckei but prefers to keep it to about 800. The loyalty and bond is strong between ON THE -mmm j. For the past five years the pennant tennis season has seen (from left) Panla FoxSue Syme, Bryony Simpson and Rosle Kdvaks, 1 racquets in hand; ready for battle. Their husbands are powerful and dynamic in business.

Bryony is married to a senior businessman, Rosie's husband is part of the IVF team at Monash University, Sue's is a Melbourne solicitor and, of course, Paula is part of the Linfox family. But none of this carries any weight on the en-tout-cas I'On the tennis court, impressions are made On how hard you hit the ball, not who you are," says Paula. Each week they have a practice hit at the Fox residence, but then jogging suits are replaced by pennant tennis skirts for Wednesday and Thursday clashes. The women are part of the Hawksburn Tennis Club, which has a modest annual membership fee of $55. For away matches the group takes one car (to discuss tactics), members, wnen Norm Melbourne football! John Reeves died; leavlng-a'mrce young WW lUJTneu wnqnABTOUp 1)1 iaaponamen met at the Vaucluse Richmond, to catch up and exchange sporting stories.

Fifteen of the original 25 members still remain today. They include tennis great Frank Sedgman, soccer player Ray Baratas, horse trainer Kel Chapman and Olympic water polo player Ian Mills. Each alternate Friday members are Invited to bring guests and sometimes the numbers swell to 75. Lunches are held at a different venue each week. I was Invited to attend Ron; Barassl's Mountain View Hotel at Richmond where the guest speakers were television sportscaster Ron Casey and former Fltzroy football club president and Vingt Cinq Club chairman, Leon Weigard, relating their experiences at the Barcelona Olympics.

Weigard recalls some of their more colorful guest speakers stripper Alexandra the Great 48 created a sensation years ago, "but today at our ages she would fall a bit are questioned heatedly;" says Sue. 1 The foursome have won many spoons and flags and have rarely missed a grand final. Rosle, Sue and Bryony have played tennis all their lives. Paula began at 32. Her determination has put her at the top and she has partnered Ivan Lendl at a charity function for the Victoria Police they won! Paula claims she is not aggressive on the court but hates to lose Sue says: "Once you start playing competition, it creates another challenge and gives you discipline." The friendship of the four extends off the court with skiing holidays and tennis holidays at Coolum resort, Queensland.

The women have been known to squeeze- mop a soggy court on bended knees, with rubber gloves and sponges. After 90 minutes, if rain has still not subsided, they might drive to a drier suburb to continue play. family, Ron Casey organised a 'TV Ringside' fundraiser; when football umpire Don Jolley became a paraplegic and most recently when boxing cnampion Johnny Famechon bad a near-fatal accident the club was quick to rally and raise funds. The rules or membership remain the y' same. Members must be male, have a Food fa thought: Discussing deals over breakfast are (from left) Simone Semmens, Annie signincant sporting background and they must attend at least half the luncheons.

annual fee is the purchase of a club tie. uawson, Juliet stokes, sairy Piynn, Karen Mcunnness, uenise Martin, sue cnapman, Dlanne glark, Sue Uoyd-WilHams, Brenda Lister. i The lust games that people play Sunday Lunches Brunches TiTelfgeftWI Andrea Helman Investigates the fine line between coming on too strong and showing you're interested. GANESH SUMMER LUNCH ON THE LAKE At Ltkm House Dylfsfor EK40'McHwurn tor day asy 90 mint drive. Stun vlaws.

wacMius verandah's UNn. 76 Spulh holiliurn OMAN spots man. Man eyes tookinfl wattr. magnificent gardens. Award Winnino A-igA rcauy iwiix.

star inc woman. Woman smiles. Man looks away. Woman looks mgni in mgni in one our spienaia rooms and wt'l have jrjpujwck tfrrve ROMALDO'S BY THE YARRA Lfcenied Italian Ristorantc unch in our qjHMd it tr turn Eflttftalnmcfll Wflwkdayi Butlntu Lunch away. Man looks back.

I It's 1993. We've been through liberation, sensitivity training, communication seminars, psychotherapy. But Isome things haven't changed. We still flirt. In fact for some of us it's a primal urge.

I Experts say that there are many reasons why we do It: to be friendly, Jmake connections, get attention, find a idate, find a mate. people flirt who are gregari-us, whit enjoy a lot of small connec- lons with people." says John Fergus, Young loven: Noah Taylor and Thandle Newton hi the Australian film 'Flirting', which looked at the game that men and women continue to play in the '90s. TT 111. HVHW HVIUUUIB IUC VUIICU on how to meet "relatlonshlp-imlnded "They like flirting, smiling and en-Ijoy the feeling of having someone Angeles therapist who works with singles and holds classes on "Meeting Mr "That type of person Is probably not wanting an Intimate relationship, but instead gets his or her identity from flirting." "The problem with she says, is that the Intent and the receiver don't usually match up," Hickey says. "The message isn't clear often, and it can be misconstrued." Instead of flirting, Ms Rosenson advises straight communication.

The best way to avoid uncomfortable situations, she says, Is to be honest and direct "Flirting is a socially acceptable way of not being direct and of objectifying Many experts agree that male flirting has sexual' undertones whereas women may flirt Just to be friendly or to make a connection. "Flirting is often a form of foreplay for men," Ms Rosenson says. "For women It can be a way of making a connection, while men are trying to get action." Says Fergus: "Men dont think so much along the lines of flirting, they think. There's an opportunity, what am I going to do about For women, they might think, 'There is someone I'd like to meet How do I show him I'm I Len, 61, says he's always been a flirt: He's flattered, charmed, smiled and kidded with women. He says that he's shocked at how flirting has changed.

M.t are flirting now," says the Los Angeles teacher, who was married three times. "And flirting when I was young wasn't as obvious. Now it's overt, and everything Is a sexual Innuendo." Children are often natural flirts, los- Ing their ability as they get older, Fergus says. As they get negative messages from their families or peers, they learn to repress it "Kids go through middle school and elementary school flirting, and as people gossip about 'who likes whom', they often stop," he says. Ue AnfslM Tawee mm Home Garden Services WtDS COMPOST TMTOM EPSON COMPOSTER HAAJ HQMf MAINTINANCt CARKT SERVICES WW 1 OKtU H.US; nurv snu iiwi ai incm.

Mr Fergus Insists that knowing how to flirt Is Important in attracting a potential mate, but adds that some flirts can get carried away. "some crave a lot or attention," says Mr Fergus. "They need to be affirmed attention to him, touching his arm when I'm talking. But I try to be honest Like If he's not funny, I won't laugh at his jokes." i Says T. McKlnley, 30, a stand-up comedian who admits that he constantly flirts but has not had 6 date for more than a year "I take, the direct approach.

Not direct sexually, but direct about whatever Is going on at the time. I make remarks about where we are or what's happenings Like If we're waiting In line somewhere, I'll comment on that i' "In order to flirt rfally well, you must know how the. opposite sex says McKlnley. "The difference between a flirt and a masher Is one comes on too strong god doesn't read the woman. You have to put your-self In her shoes, so you can tell If.

she's Interested In being talked to or The question arises: Can a flirt be .) i' "Voi should be wary'of the constant flirt," advises Elaine Roaenson, a Los to be OK, and It goes beyond the enjoyment of being noticed." An official definition of a flirt? Web-sters' New Collegiate Dictionary define! a flirt as one who "behaves amorously without serious Intent or shows superficial or casual Interest or Although the very mention of the word conjures up Images of manipulative women and womanlsing men, flirting remains a staple of sexual tractions tap Into that" says Mr Thome. "There is a consent and refusal, a playing with an Interest, but not quite giving It The momentary focus- ingof attention on the other person Is what's titillating. "People also flirt because they can back away from the consequences. Being direct means putting yourself on the line for rejection." Ideally, an up-front ''Gee, think you're really attractive" might be preferable to open-for-lnterpretation "come hither" looks and glances. But many find flirtation Is a.hablt: "When I meet a guy, my first Incli- nation Is to relate to him on a flirtatious level," says Kathy Griffin, a 31-year-old actress.

"Flirting Is where I'm best Once It comet to the relationship, I'm an emo-' tlooal foetus. The secret of flirting is presenting an Image of having no needs." i Her flirtation techniques? "The usual stuff," Ms Griffin "I do a lot of smiling, a lot of paying v. 'L i 1 i Ik Markets, Fetes Fairs 1 V' Open every weekend iSSL 9-6 47 Mchrtyre m4 ((communication In our culture. "Flirting is i a sexual ntuai and a kind of says Barrle Thome, professor of sociology and director of women's studies at the University of Southern California. "Women, men and same-gender at- lw A Jit- i 4,.