The Sydney Morning Herald from Sydney, New South Wales, Australia • Page 74

T4 The Sydney Morning Herald' Saturday, October 7, 1989 TELEVISION Heavy diet of 'reality' is enough to make even the Yanks turn off of SFXUA ATTRACTION. komen find ye ih hts vnny TV EXTRA RICHARD GLOVER of a conscript. This 'poor, overloaded person was then sent into a singles bar, where the camera recorded the point where his gaze wandered. The result, the scientist proudly announced, proved that humans stared at each other's crotches. The more likely explanation was ignored: that the bloke in the stupid head-gear felt such a burke that he couldn't look anyone in the face.

Another chap meanwhile had "spent hundreds of hours" hidden in singles bars, filming people as they chatted, fondled and flirted. In Australia we have a name for people like this. In America they're apparently called research psychologists. His research established what is the world's worst chat-up line: "Bet I can drink you under the and the best: "I'm kind of embarrassed about this but I'd really like to know The only thing they didn't tell us was the best flick-off lines. Maybe Lisa Patrick could help.

As we always put it here in Australia: Nit! Wowser! Get outta my face! Marion Macdonald is on holidays. actually eating. Meanwhile, disappearing down the masculine throat were 37 chocolate bars, eight pizzas, 23 sandwiches, IS bowls of breakfast cereal, 10 dishes of meat and three of vegetables. At least this explained another jnystery the total absence of women portrayed in professional jobs. The reason for their failure is clearly dietary.

The point is that reality is becoming a rarity on our televisions. Witness, for example, this week's premiere of Live-In, an American sit-com atibut an Australian au pair. Clearly the writers had spent weeks in close study of the Antipodean vernacular. All those well-worn Australian phrases were used: and that most common of Australianisms "get outta my The show has already been axed in the United States where viewers quickly responded with a chorus of "get outta It is, presumably, only getting a run here because of the Australian connection the culturally cringing desire to see how the Yanks portray us. The Australian star is Lisa Patrick, best known as a model and as the girlfriend of the high-profile solicitor Chris Murphy.

Live-In was Ms Patrick's first acting role and in it she demonstrated mastery of all the major emotions, including surprise (eyes opened wide) and happiness (eyebrows raised, teeth bared). Viewers may be relieved to know that, according to a recent interview, Ms Patrick is now attempting further study in the US: she's learning acting. Even on US TV, it seems, it's not enough to be just good looking. Again, reality is different at least that's the case according to Channel 7's raincoat-special, The Secrets of Sexual Attraction. Here among the "purely scientific" shots of naked bodies was the scientific truth about our love lives.

Men, it seems, are scarcely interested in personality, intelligence or skills they choose their partners merely on the basis of good looks. Women are involved in pretty much the same enterprise with the result that members of a married couple tend to have identical "attractiveness (Hah! Try telling that to Princess Di.) The Secrets of Sexual Attraction was, of course, a shallow attempt to enlist OU can recognise the type: head bent low, scurrying down the street, glancing backwards in case he is being followed. The telltale signs are all there: the nervous tic, the worried brow, the handbag clasped with both hands. You know what it all means: this man has watched too much Hinch. Come inside the mind of a Hinch addict (don't worry, it won't take long).

Imagine his or her view of the world: a world in which every old man is a sex offender, every small businessman a cheat; a world in which murder and mayhem stalk us all. It's worse, of course, for the children. Death, sudden and unpredictable, stalks their every step: weird diseases, toxic toys, dirty old men. It's a wonder any of us made it through to adulthood. Here's the line-up from a recent half-hour of Hinch: two innocent young adults killed by a drunk driver; a sex offender terrorising children; an Australian helping the Colombian drug tsars; a town being poisoned by toxic waste; a paraplegic mugged for his wallet.

It's not that they're all poor stories, or even that reality does not contain such horrors. The problem is Hinch's unreservedly bleak vision of humanity; his view that we live our lives in a landscape somewhere between greed and fear. Hinch may be the worst offender, yet the problem runs through much of our television. A while back, in the days when I could stay up past 10 pm, I monitored 20 straight hours of television. In those 20 hours, I saw 27 cars wrecked, two children mutilated, seven murders, and counted 206 gunshots.

Altogether there were nearly 500 acts or threats of violence or about one every 2V4 minutes. There were other oddities. While women constantly prepare food on television I failed to spot any of them wide-angle) attract guilt-prone obses-sives. And programs like this (they might have added) attract perverts. One does wonder about these scientists.

One bloke wanted to establish the parts of the body which attracted each sex. To this end he constructed a huge Mad Max visor, equipped it with a video camera and placed it on the head science in the aid of getting bums and boobs on television. Not since the heyday of National Geographic has so little science excused so much naked flesh. The camera lingered as we were told the scientific truth: big breasts (here, a close-up) attract sporting men; small breasts (another close-up) attract religious submissives; big bottoms (cut to 1 3SUNDAYC $ATURDAYC tenIO tcn9 atn7 abn2 tenIO abn2 tcn9 atn7 6.00: Bricks And Mortar. 6.30: Aerobics Oz Style.

7.00: TheBionicSix. 7.30: Superfriends (Rpt). 8.00: Video Hits Music. 12.00: Rugby League Highlights of Widnes Canberra match. 1.00: Tennis Queensland Open.

Direct telecast from the Milton Courts. Brisbane. Bill Bowrey. S.00: Jack Thompson Down Under Documentary series. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather.

6.30: The Great TV Game Show. 7.30: The Price Is Right. 8.30: Movie Vertigo (PGR. 58. Rpt).

A former detective with a fear of heights is drawn into a complex plot when a beautiful girl who he has been hired to follow, and with whom he has fallen in love, accidentally falls to her death. Alfred Hitchcock suspense thriller with James Stewart, Kim Novak and Barbara Bel Geddes. 11.05: Tennis Queensland Open. 1.00: 227 Comedy series. 1.30: The Van Dyke Show.

2.00: Thin Air, White Water. 3.00: Movie Sabaka (PGR. 55. Rpt). A young man disbands a religious cult of fire-worshippers in India, with the help of two pets.

With Boris Karloff. 4.30: Dads (Rpt). 5.00: The Brady Kids (Rpt). 5.30: Wall Street Journal. 6.00: Rage (Continued).

9.00: Temporary Close. 11.00: Durrell In Russia -(Rpt). 11.25: Sandwich The Stone. 11.30: Lome Greene's New Wilderness (Rpt). Documentary.

12.00: American Football -NFL 1.00: Madmen Of The Valley. 1.30: English Soccer (Rpt). 2.30: SANFL Australian Rules Football The Grand Final. From Football Park, Adelaide. 5.10: Athletics The 1989 Otway Classic foot race.

6.03: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Horizons A Planet For The Taking: Subdue The Earth. (S). David Suzuki challenges the belief that nature is waging a relentless battle against man. 7.30: Hollywood Legends Tonight: Natalie Wood.

8.30: The Money Or The Gun. 9.30: Inside Running (S). Der-mott and Penelope are on opposite sides in a civil suit involving rape. Featuring Genevieve Picot. 10.20: Movie L'Annee Prochaine Si Tout Va Bien (Next Year If All Goes Well) (AO).

Comedy about a Parisian couple, an accountant and a comic-strip artist. She wants a baby, he doesn't, they have a child and the standings begin. Featuring Isabelle Adjani and Thierry Lhermitte. 11.55: Rage All-night music. 6.00: Crusader Rabbit (Rpt).

6.10: Flash Gordon (Rpt, bw). 6.30: Great Grape Ape (Rpt). 7.00: The Super Saturday Show. 9.00: Saturday Morning Live. 12.00: Basketball NBL Semi-Fi-nal number 2.

Sydney Canberra. 2.00: Movie Zebra In The Kitchen (65, Rpt). A boy conflicts with zoo authorities. With Jay North and Martin Milner. 4.00: Discover Australia's National Parks Qld (Rpt).

5.00: Great Mysteries Of The World In Search Of Mummy's CurseDeadly Ants (Rpts). 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: World Around Us A Dangerous Game. Documentary. 7.30: MacGyver (PGR).

8.30: Movie Murder By The Book (PGR, 87). A mystery novelist's life is spiced with adventure when the plot of his hew novel becomes reality and he is thrust into a real-life crime. Featuring Robert Hays and Fred Gwynne. 10.30: CagneyAndLacey-(PGR). 11.30: Movies (Rpts).

The Student Prince (54). A prince falls in love with a barmaid. Musical featuring Ann Blyth and Edmund Purdom. 1.20: The Slave (63). Drama about the son of Sparta-cus.

Featuring Steve Reeves. 3.05: LA Jazz Music. 5.00: Persuaders (PGR. Rpt). 6.00: Throb Comedy series.

6.30: Religious Program. 7.00: Business Week Finance. 8.00: Video Hits Music show. 11.00: Face To Face Topical. 12.00: Future Flight (Rpt).

A look at whether the 21st century will see people able to travel in space. With Christopher Reeve: 1.00: Tennis Coverage of the finals of the Queensland Open. 5.30: Funny People Leeza Gibbons and Rita Rudner meet funny people from around the world. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: This Land Australia The Snowy Mountains.

A journey through the south-eastern area in time, geography and civilisation. 7.30: Comedy Company Classics (PGR). With Maryanne Fahey. 8.30: Movie Broadcast News (AO, 87). Comedy drama about the lives and loves of a group of people working in a television newsroom.

Featuring Holly Hunter and William Hurt. 11.05: Entertainment This Week (PGR). Hollywood news. 12.05: High Mountain 1.05: 227 (PGR). Comedy.

1.35: The Van Dyke Show. 2.00: Jack And Mike (PGR). Emergency (PGR, Rpt). 4.00: Love In A Cold Climate Coming Out (PGR. Rpt).

5.00: Duet. 5.30: Amen. 6.00: Thunderbirds (Rpt). 7.00: Cartoon Company. 12.00: Burke's Backyard -(Rpt).

1.00: Wide World Of Sports. 5.00: Body And Soul (S). 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Hey Hey It's Saturday -18th Birthday Show. With Daryl Somers, Denise Drysdale and special guest Jack! McDonald.

8.30: 21 Jump Street (PGR. Rpt). When a mobster turns government witness, Penhall poses as a baseball player to protect the man's son. Drama featuring Johnny Depp. 9.30: Mission: Impossible (S.

PGR. Rpt). A West German trade negotiator's daughter is kidnapped in order to maintain East-West political tensions, which have been facilitating the kidnappers' other Illegal activities. Featuring Peter Graves. 10.30: News And Weather.

10.35: MTV (AO). Music show. 1.35: Movies Very Close Quarters (AO. 86). Comedy about a group of people sharing a flat in Moscow.

With Shelley Winters. 3.30: Country Music Murders (PGR. 78. Rpt). A songwriter-tumed-detective and his fashion model wife search for a murderer in Nashville.

Drama with Sonny Bono and Morgan Fairchild. 5.25: The Young Doctors (Rpt). 6.00: Rage (Continued). 9.00: Temporary Close. 11.00: Worship Sunday Anglican Christ Church, Brunswick.

12.00: Compass Religious. 1.00: Sunday Afternoon With Peter Ross Mr Repton's Advice, 18th century gardening. (1.35) Olaf Bar. (2.15) Frank Lloyd Wright's architecture. (3.35) Sir Lawrence Gowing on Goya.

(4.20) National Arts: Hazel Hawke. 4.30: Review Bookswriters. 5.00: Surf Ufesaving Ironman Grand Prix highlights. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: All Creatures Great And Small (S, Rpt).

Drama series. 7.25: Arts Australia. 7.30: Buster Keaton: A Hard Act To Follow Documentary on the silent film comic. 8.30: Geoffrey Robertson's Hypothetical Satanic Scenario SS). The issues raised by the alman Rushdie affair are examined.

Featuring Fay Weldon. 9.30: The London Embassy Spencer Savage's diplomatic skills are stretched to their limit. With Kristoffer Tabori and Lou Hirsch. 10.20: Heart Of The Country (S, PGR, Part 1). Drama about a middle-aged woman who is deserted by her husband.

11.20: Chance In A Million -(PGR. Rpt). 11.45: Close. 6.00: Cartoon Connection. 9.00: Sportsworld Jon Harker.

12.00: Basketball NBL. 2.00: Elvis Presley Movies (Rpts). Speedway (68). A stock car racer has problems with his tax. With Nancy Sinatra.

4.00: Double Trouble (67). A rock singer falls in love with an English heiress. With Annette Day. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: The Magical World Of Disney In Search Of The Castaways (Rpt, Part 2).

Adventure featuring Hayley Mills. 7.30: Australia's Most Wanted (PGR). With Bryan Marshall. 8.30: Mini-Series Brotherhood Of The Rose (S, AO. Part 1).

Drama about two CIA operatives who were raised as brothers and trained by their adoptive father, a top CIA genius. Featuring Robert Mitchum and Peter Strauss. 10.30: Falcon Crest (PGR, Season Final). With Jane Wyman. 11.30: Cross Sections (Rpt).

12.00: News Overnight. 2.00: Movie The Best Of Friends (AO. 82. Rpt). Two best friends decide to make a commitment and tie the knot.

Australian comedy featuring Angela Punch-McGregor and Graeme Blundell. 3.40: Studio 5B (PGR). 4.35: Superior Court. 5.00: Dick Clark Live (PGR). 5.55: Focus On Living (Rpt).

6.20: Christian Television. 6.50: This Is The Life. 7.20: Point Of View. 7.30: Turn Round Australia. 8.00: Business Sunday.

9.00: Sunday Public affairs. 11.00: Wide World Of Sports Sunday Edition Highlights. 1.00: My Sister Sam Comedy. 1.30: Movie Wonderful Life (64, Rpt). Musical featuring Cliff Richard and The Shadows.

4.00: Sports Sunday. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Our World The Silk Route Of The Sea: Sinbad's Boat (S). Documentary series. 7.30: 60 Minutes Topical.

8.30: Mini-Series Around The World In 80 Days (S. PGR, Part 1). Phileas Fogg attempts to win a wager by travelling around the world in 80 days. Adventure featuring Pierce Brosnan, Eric Idle, Peter Ustinov and Christopher Lee. 10.30: News.

10.35: Movies (Rpts). Circle Of Iron (AO, 79). Martial arts fantasy with David Carradine. 12.35: A Matter of Sex (PGR. 84).

Drama with Jean Stapleton. 2.25: Here Come The Tigers (AO, 78). Comedy with Richard Lincoln. 4.10: Twelve To The Moon (60, bw). Sci-fi drama with Ken Clark.

5.30: Young Doctors (Rpt). SBS WIN NBN SBS Capital WIN NBN Capital 7.00: Big Dog And Friends Cartoons ana competitions featuring Troy and Milton. 10.00: Last Of The Wild. 10.30: Bricks And Mortar. 11.00: World Of Boats.

11.30: Country Report Presented by Ross Hampton. 12.00: Burke's Backyard (Rpt). 1.00: Wide World Of Sports. 5.00: A Different World. 5.30: Small Wonder Comedy.

6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Hey Hey It's Saturday -Zany fun with Daryl Somers, Ossie Ostrich, Denise Drysdale. 8.30: Movie The Legend Of The Lone Ranger (AO, 81. Rpt). The Lone Ranger returns, and sets out to rescue the President of the United States, Ulysses Grant, from a gang of desperados.

Featuring Klinton Spilsbury. Michael Horse and Jason Robards. 10.25: Basketball 1989 National Basketball League playoffs. 12.15: Close. 11.55: Movie The Mystery Of The Moonlight- Sonata.

With Wiesje Van Tuinen. (Holland). 1.30: Ballet Five Choreographers (Rpt). Documentary. 3.00: Spanish News A review.

3.30: Latin America In Vogue. 4.00: The Maltese Games. 4.30: Indoor Soccer 1989. 5.30: Soccer World Cup Qualifying match: Colombia Paraguay. 6.30: World News And Weather.

7.00: Movie The Mahabharata (88). Drama based on the world's longest poem. The central story concerns a struggle between two sides of a royal family. With Ciaran Hinds. (Includes breaks).

12.25: Non Matrimonial Story (AO. 75. Rpt). A study of petit-bourgeois life in early 20th century Cracow. With Alina Jan-owska.

(Poland). 1.50: The Necklace (AO. Rpt). Antonis Antoniou. (Greece).

3.20: The Tree Of Diamonds (PGR. Rpt). Philippe Leroy. (Italy). 4.55: Close.

6.00: Cartoons (Rpts). 6.30: Aerobics Oz Style. 7.00: TheBionicSix. 7.30: Dragon's Lair (Rpt). 8.00: Video Hits Music.

12.00: The Road To Survival. 1.00: Tennis Queensland Open. Direct telecast from Brisbane. 5.00: Jack Thompson Down Under Exploring Australia. 6.00: News, Sport And Weather.

6.30: The Great TV Game Show. 7.30: The Price Is Right Game. 8.30: Movie Vertigo (PGR. 58. Rpt).

Alfred Hitchcock suspense thriller. With James Stewart, Kim Novak and Barbara Bel Geddes. 11.05: Tennis Queensland Open. 1.00: 227 Comedy. 1.30: The Van Dyke Show.

2.00: Thin Air, White Water. 3.00: Movie Sabaka (PGR. 55. Rpt). A young man disbands a Indian cult of fire-worshippers.

4.30: Dads (Rpt). Comedy. 5.00: The Brady Kids (Rpt). 5.30: Wall Street Journal. 6.00: Thunderbirds (Rpt).

7.00: World Of Boats. 7.30: Bricks And Mortar. 8.00: Ace Cartoon Show Cartoons, games, competitions. 11.00: Cartoons (Rpts). With Porky Pig and Merrie Melodies.

12.00: Burke's Backyard (Rpt). With garden expert Don Burke. 1.00: Wide World Of Sports. 5.00: Body And Soul. 5.55: News, Sport And Weather.

6.30: Hey Hey It's Saturday -With Daryl, Denise and Ossie. 8.30: 21 Jump Street (PGR, Rpt). Penhall poses as a baseball player. Features Johnny Depp. 9.30: Mission: Impossible (S, PGR.

Rpt). A West German trade negotiator's daughter is kidnapped. Features Peter Graves. 10.30: MTV Richard Wilkins. 1.35: Movies Very Close Quarters (AO.

86). 3.30: Country Music Murders (PGR. 78). Drama featuring Zsa Zsa Gabor. 5.30: The Young Doctors -(Rpt).

10.00: Italia News A review. 10.30: Italian Soccer 8990. 11.30: Anne's Int'l Kitchen. 12.00: Greek Variety Show. 1.00: The Disappearance Of John Avlakiotis (PGR.

Rpt). 1.45: Int'l Cookbook (Rpt). 2.00: Empress Wu (PGR, Rpt). 2.45: Little Missy (Brazil). 3.30: A Chinese Affair (US).

4.30: Basketball South Eastern Australian League match. 6.30: News. 7.00: Vox Populi. 7.30: Voices Of Sarafina -(Rpt). Documentary about a group of politically committed South African students.

(US). 9.00: Tickets For The Titanic (Debut). Comedy looking at Bri-tian in the 80s. The first episode is about the friendship between an unemployed lad and a posh young social worker. (UK).

10.00: The Movie Show (Rpt). 10.25: Factory Stories (PGR, Rpt, Double episode. Final). (Yugoslavia). 12.15: Close.

6.00: Religious Programs. 8.00: Business Sunday. 9.00: Sunday Topical. 11.00: Wide World Of Sports. 1.00: Star Trek (Rpt).

Sci-fi. 2.00: Movie Wonderful Life (78. Rpt). Features Cliff Richard. 4.00: Sports Sunday.

5.55: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Our World An ancient sunken wreck is excavated. 7.30: 60 Minutes Topical. 8.30: Mini-Series Around The World In 80 Days (Part 1). Drama.

10.30: Movies Circle Of Iron (AO, 79, Rpt). An apprentice in martial arts undertakes a series of trials to prove his worth. David Carradine 12.35: A Matter Of Sex (PGR. 84). Women seek equality at work.

Jean Stapleton. 2.25:Here Come The Tigers (AO, 78). A moppet baseball team enters the Little League championships. 4.10: Twelve To The Moon (60. bw).

With Ken Clark. 5.30: The Young Doctors (Rpt). 6.00: Programs For Children. 7.00: Business Week Finance. 8.00: Video Hits Music.

11.00: Face To Face Topical. 12.00: Future Flight (Rpt). 1.00: Tennis Queensland Open. 5.30: Funny People Funny people and places from around the world. With Leeza Gibbons.

6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: This Land Australia. 7.30: Comedy Company Classics (PGR). With Maryanne Fahey. 8.30: Movie Broadcast News (PGR, 87).

A handsome but not very smart television news anchorman relies on a highly skilled, news producer to make him look good. Their partnership is threatened by a smart reporter who is devoid of on-camera charisma. With William Hurt, Holly Hunter and Albert Brooks. 11.05: Entertainment This Week (PGR). Hollywood news.

12.05: High Mountain Rangers. 1.05: Late-Night Programs. 6.40: The World Tomorrow. 7.05: Hour Of Power. 8.00: Business Sunday.

9.00: Sunday Topical. With Laurie Oakes and Jim Waley. 11.00: Sportscentre Sunday. 12.00: Movies Devil's Brother (33. Rpt.

bw). With Laurel and Hardy. 1.35: The Princess And The Pirate (44). With Bob Hope. 3.20: Double Trouble (67, Rpt).

5.00: Wonderful World Of Disney Almost Angels (Part 1). 6.00: News, Sport And Weather. 6.30: Beyond 2000 (S). The tragedy of Hiroshima; American sports cars. With lain Finlay.

7.30: 60 Minutes Topical. 8.30: Movie Misunderstood (PGR, 84). A recently widowed man is so wrapped up in his grief he fails to give his children any attention. With Gene Hackman. 10.25: Hot Metal (PGR).

10.55: Cameo Theatre The Alumni Reunion (PGR). With Victor Jory. 11.55: Close. PRIVATE EDUCATION OF THE HIGHEST STANDARD Would YOU like to try 3 i 4 GRAPHIC DESIGN DIFFERENT? To enjoy a challenging experience which is within the capabilities of any HOTEL MANAGEMENT 81 LIT BLUE HOTEL MANAGEMENT SCHOOL A career in hotel management can show you the world. And its people.

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