The Age from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia • Page 28

THE SUNDAY AGE 10 AUGUST 1997 Agenda Features When she was big, she was lean. And when things were lean, she was big. Colleen Hewett's life is the stuff of a soulful pop classic about struggling to regain the limelight. with fee more 1 i "Do you remember 'Butler And Fgg Man'? That was one I sang. My Mum and Dad would be sitting outside in the ute listening to the races." Mother Kamona and Dad Earl have just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

They live near Bendigo. "Good parents? Oh God yeah. They were always great parents." Colleen Hewett has put out only four albums in all these years. Back in 1971, there was 'Colleen'. The others were 'Milady', 'The Power of Love', and now the Peter Allen tribute 'Tenterfield Dreams'.

But of course she's best known for her 1983 hit 'Wind Beneath My Wings', which Bette Midler recorded later and made it an international hit. That threw me back into my geographical disadvantage mode. Did she not resent Bette Midler recording it after her and making it such a hit? Colleen Hewett looked extremely puzzled. "No," she said. "It's just a' great song." The new CD is called 'Tenterfield Dreams: the musical journey of Peter Allen'.

It contains such Allen classics as 'Tenterfield Saddler', 'Quiet Please (there's a lady oh stage)', Still Call Australia Home', 'Flyaway', as well as 'Over The-Rainbow' and 'Arthur's Theme'. "Did you know Peter Allen well?" "Look I'm not going to pretend he was my greatest friend. But we. used to see each other, send each" other flowers before concerts. I've always sung Peter Allen songs.

Danny and I were putting together an album. There seemed to be aiv-awful lot of Peter's songs, so we thought we'd just do a tribute to him. Conversations Dpug Aiton TT TOOK me ages to think of who I it was. Then it hit me. It was I'1'- Liza Minnelli.

Colleen Hewett's A new CD 'Tenterfield Dreams' reminds me of Liza Minnelli. I was playing it in my car, on the way to meet Colleen. I wondered if I should tell her. Would she be offended? Would it remind her of the geographical disadvantage of coming from down under? That is, if l.i.a Minnelli put out a CD that was a tribute to her former husband, Peter Allen, the whole world would buy it. And here was Colleen 1 Jewell's tribute to the same Peter Allen, and it would sell only in Australia.

We met. Colleen's eyes were dancing. She's on a high with this CUT. She's back in town. "It reminds me of Liza Minelli," I said.

"Really! That's wonderful." Phew! 1 had been told that Colleen was happy to talk about anything. Her two marriages. Her weight problem. Weight problem? Actually my own memory of Colleen Hewett was of her kicking and smashing a glass security door. That's quite a while back.

We were both working at the extinct 3DB. She was co-host of the breakfast program. But unknown to her, unknown to me, they decided to sack her. This was 1986. They phoned her and told her not to bother coming in on Monday.

No reason. She did come in. In the black of Melbourne's autumn pre-dawn Colleen arrived, was refused entry, arid' put her foot through the door in rage. I was inside, unaware, preparing for the morning program after hers. I rushed out to the crash.

She'd gone. "What's going on?" I said to no one. Did she remember? Sure she did, slie laughed. And to this day she does not know why they sacked her, why they treated her that way. "What do you mean, weight problem," I asked.

"You didn't have aweight problem back then. And you don't now." "Are you kidding?" She gave me a dubious look. She really thought I was joking. She looks vibrant. "I was 78-and-a-half kilograms and I'm five foot three." "That's twelve-and-a-half stone, isn't it?" I said, amazed.

"More," she said. now less than 60 kilograms, aged 47, full of beans. How did you do it, I asked. THE answer for Colleen Hewett was found through the lenny Craig weight loss organisation'. Basically, they taught her to eat lots and lots of food, but not fattening food.

While she felt she couldn't look at any more food, 14 kilograms melted away. They used to prepare the food for her. Now she does it herself. "What about these marriages?" I asked. I was fascinated by her relationship with Danny Finley.

Danny Finley is the closest friend she has. He's her manager. He was also her husband for years. He's the father of her first child Casey, now 19." It was with Danny that she tried to. lake on America, 20 years ago.

They went to Los Angeles and sne ended up cleaning friends' apartments, then came home without winning. She's quite open about this, and about everything else. "It was 1975-76. Danny had his I still call Australia home: Colleen Hewett calls herself a proud Australian. "I don't give a continental about what exists beyond our shoreline." the most beautiful thing.

Unfortunately 1 don't think I can blend with anyone. No, it hasn't been unkind. I came out with beautiful children. You make the bed, you lie in it. Mind you, I'd be lost without Danny.

It's almost like being married. It's just that we're not in the same house." "Why not?" "I don't know. I think after the last marriage I'd rather be by I was thinking carefully, quite puz.led. I'd seen them together that day, so close. "Why did you and Danny split?" "I THINK I thought that I grew up.

1 mean, 1 turned 20 a month after we got married. After 1 1 years I thought I could do it by myself. Probably a mistake." "A mistake to split with Danny?" "Probably." "But you wouldn't get back together." "Oh no." I decided to leave it alone. "Look," she said, "if someone gave me my life again, I'd want it exactly the same. I love my life and 1 think I'm only half way." "Do you miss having no bloke in it?" "No.

I'm having a ball rowing the boat alone. It's great fun with my three mates. My children. We fight together. Love together.

We're more mates than me being their mother. Too much discipline is bad. 1 think they like me." They live in a 1945 Moonee Ponds house which Colleen managed to buy some time ago, despite the fact that making a living has always been precarious for her. "It's a house with no personality at all. But we've made it quite cute inside." "How have you made a living lately?" "I went into a band with Mike Brady for a while.

It was called Mike Brady and the Occasional Lady. That made ends meet, kept the wolf from the door. But because I was so uncomfortable with my body, I HAVE one awful regret. The last time I saw Peter. We were at the same hotel in Sydney.

I came back from doing some club way out somewhere. just wanted to sleep. Peter woke me up and said to come up to his room. There was a party. I declined.

I just wanted to sleep. That was the lasr time I saw him. He died six months later." "Why do you want to sing at the grand final?" "Oh are you kidding? Football is. my other passion. Collingwood! Bobby Rose is my cousin." "Are you disappointed that you haven't been asked?" "I guess I'm just confused.

Why have I been overlooked?" "What would you sing?" "I'd love to sing Still Call Australia Home'. Mainly because it's a worldwide event. Or 'Good Old Collingwood Forever'." "Was that second marriage your unhappiest time?" "No. Just an experience that TU aiduus uui. int: wuii nine was when my father went through can-, cer six years ago.

That was the lowest time of my life. "You can't have a smooth road though. I've loved it. I'd do it all again and probably fall in the same pot-holes. I'm not deep and mean-, ingful.

But God I love it. Compared with some people I don't have a problem in the world. "My memory's as sharp as a can remember the people who. have dumped me along the way. I just want to look at them and make 'em feel rotten.

They, could have helped me." "What are you most looking forward to?" "My ambition is to have a bit of land around me. Just 10 acres or With my dogs running around. And my kids bringing their kids like Mum and Dad did for And I'd think, can it get any better than this?" Picture: JULIAN KINGMA didn't want to be seen. "There were some very lean times. We got by.

There's only one person to thank. Danny." "Have you ever made any money?" "My success time was in the '70s. Even then, we didn't have a lot of zeros at the end of the figures. I've now got as much money as when I started. "Not a great deal.

Money is nothing. Ability is everything. During the lean times, sometimes I would sit and think, why did I do this? Why did I do that?" We talked about the very early days. Colleen Hewett was born in 1950 in Bendigo and spent the first five years there. Then the family came to Glenroy.

"Open paddocks, trees, the baker coming in his truck and opening the doors and that marvellous smell. And the ice man." "Happy days?" "I nearly said, the best. But I haven't found the highlight in my life yet." She remembers singing at a "60-40" dance. (Oldies' music with some rock and roll.) On her 12th birthday, she got up and sang with The Lonely Ones. Her uncle, Des Duguid, was tile compere.

He had told her to learn three songs, so she knew 'Kansas City', 'Dance On', and 'Mississippi Mud'. A bit later she crept away from The Lonely Ones and started singing with The Esquires down the road at the YMCA. She also sang jazz upstairs with Ray Bridgeland's )azz Band. 66 It was with Danny that she tried to take on America, 20 years ago. They went to LA and she ended up cleaning friends' apartments, then came home without winning.

9 "Did you hate it?" "Oh no, 1 loved it. I don't know why. I just liked cleaning." "And you didn't like Los Angeles." "No." "Why not?" "It wasn't Melbourne. I'm only comfortable here." "Don't you feel geographically disadvantaged as far as being an international star?" "No. I'm a proud Australian.

I don't give a continental about what exists beyond our shoreline. This is heaven." "What about being a world-beater?" "I don't even think on that level. I know what I'm like when I'm away from Australia. I'm hopeless. The only other place I'm comfortable is Fiji.

I lived there two years. I still try to get there once a year." Yes, Fiji. 1 heard about Fiji. Fiji was where she met her second husband, a Frenchman, a food and beverage manager at a hotel. Boy, did she tell me about him.

"Look, I'll talk about anything. My life is an open book," she said. And site did. With a great deal of humor, and a hefty dose of grim retribution, she told me about the nature of her second marriage, which wasn't pretty. It produced her third child, William, who is now nine.

She realised she was pregnant after their acrimonious parting. She hasn't seen him since and doesn't know where he is. "So, has marriage been unkind to you?" "No. I'd love to be married! It's PATHETIC. children.

Stung, I methodically washed and buffed the children, then covered them with a ruinously expensive wax that guarantees their lustre for a month. lust as the squire of the manor would never have been seen out riding In anything but his Savtlle Row best, so have I Invested in riding apparel to complement my steed. A let-black helmet, naturally, let-black boots and gauntlets hand-crafted by blind Italian artisans, of course. But most Importantly, the Jet-black leather jacket. This was a difficult decision.

I own dreams. He thought I could set the world on fire. Hut we had to get a green card to work. I asked around the block we wore living in if 1 could clean apartments. were living in Chelsea Brown's apartment." "And you didn't set the world on fire?" "Didn't get a green card.

In fact, we were given 24 hours to get out of the country." "Were you depressed?" "No. I was rapt in a way. I wanted failure so I could come home. We'd been away almost two years and I was cleaning all that lime." 1973: Hewett and John Farnhamwere co-stars in 'Pippin'. Andrew Dyson which (sigh) I so seldom seem to do these days.

I am well aware these confessions shall cause women of my vintage to smirk in that lofty manner so distressing to the red-blooded male. "Hah! Mid-life crisis!" they cackle. "He's trying to kick-start his ebbing virility!" To answer this foul slander is below my dignity. I merely point out that I see this bike as my reward for having carefully reared my children to the sturdily independent ages of two and Ave. Having done my duty, I now require an outlet for my raging paternal Instinct.

Those who doubt I possess a nurturing side need only witness me carefully polishing every particle of the new baby, and weeping bitter tears when a speck of errant dirt befouls It. So desperate am I to retain Its pristine beauty that I hesitate to ride It, lest the tires get mucky. This obsessive behavior was noticed by my partner, who waspishry pointed out that I never paid such attention to bathing the HI UsA. te9 testa tain si scram already have several black leather Jackets on my clothes-rack, suspended like dead vultures on a telegraph wire. Each of them is a sartorial mistake, from the '70s Nehru-collared shocker to the Brando Jacket that exposes my midriff.

It seems that every time I buy an expensive leather Jacket it Immediately becomes so hopelessly outmoded that even the Brotherhood sneers at relieving me of it. Fortunately we found a nice simple single-breasted Jacket, thigh-length, plain zipper. I was particularly taken by my appearance in this Jacket, for I seemed to magically combine the chic sullen-ness of the young lames Dean with the forthright solidity of Orson Welles. Indeed, so taken was I that I chose to wear the Jacket to the local school open day, Just to distinguish myself from the other dads. Naturally, on arrival we discovered every other dad was wearing an Identical Jacket, and It was pathetic to see the dismay that clouded our collective brow.

We all parted amicably, however, and I occasionally wave to other Dads as they tootle past on their motorcycles. Not too fast, mind you. Our reflexes aren't what they used to be. AUSTfiUIu.m? 1 flNTOLEfWNT fcl 3 rfoLHAU'l fTPlALAN3 AUSTIMLMNS 'I UMH fS2 who am fed ENJOy WHO LIKE MiK1'''! r06 S55 BEIN0 MXRiKD en BEING CALLED 11 1 TOLERANT I ffTOlMW AS CALLED kwi L. I INTOLERANT INTOLERANT TOLERWT UHEN IT ms JMPLV A MATTE)?) 0F US VERSUS rM 2" J.MWICHT APPARENTLY many citizens iA dutifully buy smoke alarms leave them unused In the packet, believing that having bought the amulet, they are now Immune from fire.

While It is tempting to mock these people, one' should remember that their touching faith seems none too ridiculous In a society that seriously believes computers serve humankind, and that the government knows what It's doing. I'm not above dabbling In voodoo myself, having recently purchased a jet-black sports motorcycle In the hope of absorbing some of Its svelte menace. I also aim to retrieve a fragment of my lost youth, though the way the rear shock groans under my 45-year-old buttocks reminds me this bike was designed to kill teenagers, not mature gentlemen like myself. Yet despite the fact that my reflection In shop windows resembles a sack of wheat atop a razor blade, I must admit I'm having a lot of fun. Nuns cross themselves as I thunder by, family Magnas are Intimidated by the bark from my massive exhaust system and I recently dropped a wheelle In Bourse Street, attracting the attention of some prtftty shopgirls,.