The Age from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia • Page 36

8 Thursday i August 1 935 Green Guide. omramraerasiDIly was HlSt. ODD Off QBilOS SDDDOjjS THERE comes a time towards the end of long drunken evenings when everybody wants to sing. Sadly, by the time you have gone through the first verse of Waltzing Matilda the only songs everybody knows the words to are advertising jingles. There is nothing for provoking nostalgia and memories of childhood like a good jingle.

Do you remember the man who used to roam round shopping centres and building sites, getting otherwise inoffensive people to sing: Ardath Ardath you're a star Beats the other smokes by far Think I'd better say it twice Better smoke at better price Ardath Ardath you're a star Beats the other smokes by far. That was real kick-in-the-back-pocket advertising! They just don't write jingles like they used to. The catchy advertising song was a hangover from the days of radio. These days, instead of a good tune to help the inanity along, adverts take themselves terribly seriously. Commercial breaks are all soft focus and Brideshead Revisited-style dialogue impressing us with the cosmic importance of deodorant, hairless legs and poly-unsaturated fats.

If advertising reflects society, then in the days of the jingles we took ourselves less seriously, had more fun and were more irreverent about the commercial world. Adverts were gutsier and more prepared to admit that it was all about making a quid. I'll bet the industry spent less time examining its navel in those days and didn't feel the need to threaten people with the loss of their furniture. Perhaps the most famous advertising jingle of all time was the Aeroplane Jelly song. A colleague of mine tells a story about Aeroplane Jelly and the ex-Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser's trip to China.

Everywhere Fraser went, the Chinese stood and sang patriotic songs in his honor. Apparently, Fraser was determined that the 20 or so members of the press corp should return the compliment by singing Waltzing Matilda after dinner. Night after night, Fraser asked them to sing and like the upstanding members of the free press they were, they refused. Finally, he virtually dragged them to their feet. One of the journalists yelled out 'All right boys, hit it'" and the entire entourage gave a stirring rendition of the following.

I lobe Aeroplane Jelly Aeroplane Jelly for me I lilkte it for dinner I like it for tea A Hit every day is a good reci-pe. I liljte Aeroplane Jelly Aeroplane Jelly for me I like it for dinner 1 like it for tea And so on. There are other jingles which have maide almost as big an impression on the Australian psyche. Relnember: Evfery day's a Four and Twenty pie day Let's have a Four and Twenty pie There's nothing quite as tasty as Four and Twenty pastry OH Oh what a lovely pie i At this point in the song Jack Dyer would come on and say: "Four and Twenty Pies and Pasties in rich golden pastry" and the song would continue Oft Oh what a lovely pie Oy! There was a whole host of advertisements for sweets and chips that didn't rejy on chocolate bar provoked earthquakes or barbecues and giant chooks braining the main character. Who could forget: Ufhen you eat your Smarties Dp you eat the red ones last Dp you suck them very slowly, or crunch them very fast Its that candy coated chocolate, S6 tell me when I ask When you eat your Smarties Do you eat the red ones last? I Cricket fans from the mid 1970s will remember this interesting ditty, to be sing to calypso music.

Sjweat all day in burning sun Aussie paceman not much fun Batsman wear Brut 33 Jamaican on a scoring spree Always wears Brut 33 Every ball he hits to fence 'Cos he's full of confidence New ball bowler swinging late Knows his hair is looking great Use Brut 33 Shampoo Batsman Ibw Another all-time classic was the Kentucky Fried rhyme about two cartoon characters sitting in the back of their parents' car on a Sunday drive. It went: The cows and sheep and birds and horses Were mooing and baaing and whistling and neighing Having lunch in the sun While Hugo and I were in the back having none Getting thinner and thinner The rumblings cried Give us Kentucky Fried Time for dinneeeeeer And Dad stopped the car And Hugo said you go And I said no you go And soon he was back With a pack And then Dad hit the track. Then we ate in the back Feeling better inside A ride isn't funny On an empty tummy Thank goodness for Kentucky Fried When I remember Hugo and you go and compare it to the current chicken ditties (Red red red red red red reddy red rooster ad nauseum) I have no doubt that the great days of jingles are over. But even in those days there were early attempts at euphemisms and soft sell, like the Lady Scott toilet paper ad which began The flowers that bloom in the spring, Tra la Bloom in Lady Scott And ended by by getting around to mentioning the smallest room by calling it the tra-la-la. But on a more socially useful note, one of the catchiest songs was the one adver tising the advent of decimal currency.

It went to the tune of Click Go The Shears. Clink go the cents coins Clink clink clink Change-ever day is closer than you think. So be prepared when the coins begin to mix On the 14th of February 1966. One of the nicest and easiest to sing of the jingles was the old Continental Soup song. It went to the tune of Oh You Beautiful Doll: Oh you beautiful soup.

You great big beautiful soup. Let my hasty lips embrace you I just want to sip and taste you Oh you beautiful soup You great big beautiful soup. I never sipped a soup with so much zing When you get through sipping it'll make sing Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh you beautiful soup. (That's Continental!) Oh you beautiful soup! But the Col Porter of the advertising world was surely whoever made up the roller door advertisements, which faded from our screen about five years ago. The best of a good bunch was sung to the tune of the Toreador Song from Carmen Use the roller door That's what it's for You'll get much more With a roller door One hundred and forty nine sizes Each is custom made! Do not be afraid! It is perfectly weather proof And water proof And wind proof as well It's dependable as a clock With the centre lift lock You'll get much more I suppose the modern day equivalent would be the Crown ditty (Theeeeere is nothing like a Crown for picking it up and moving it round) but somehow, it's not quite the same.

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