Arizona Republic from Phoenix, Arizona • Page 83

F2 THE ARIZONA REPUBLIC SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1987 Super Collider can make money vanish Steiger's new steady ftelps him take the flak Gail Tabor tO 'it? Republic Columnist Well, I imagine you taxpayers out there are just as thrilled as I am about the federal government's plans to build the Superconducting Super Collider. Wait a minute: I see some, puzzled looks out there. I had forgotten that many of you, as members of the general public, have roughly the same level of scientific comprehension as plankton. So let me briefly explain, in layman's terms, what the Superconducting Super Collider is: It is a humongous scientific object The federal government is going to construct this object for $4.4 bii-lion, give or take $16.7 billion, in some lucky science-conscious which will be selected based on how -well the governor cleaned the shoes of key federal officials with his tongue. The Super Collider will make tiny particles that nobody can see go whizzing at nearly the speed of light around an underground 52-mile oval tunnel until they smash into tiny particles that nobody can see coming the other way, the idea being that this collision will produce hold onto your hats, and kicking around ideas for new science projects: "How about," one of them said, "if we build a 400-foot-long nuclear-powered undersea saxophone?" "Nah," scoffed the others.

"Too practical." They also ruled out proposals to build the world's largest hearing aid and to implant eight tiny transistorized Jacuzzis into the brain of an otter. Then one of them leaped to his feet and shouted: "I've got it! We'll build a giant underground racetrack for invisible particles!" Of course the other scientists loved it They laughed and danced and inhaled Bunsen-burner fumes far into the night. The Super Collider proposal then went to President Ronald "Star Wars" Reagan, whose aides gave him a detailed technical briefing utilizing a tambourine and two separate colors of After asking a few questions one is Nicaragua the president approved the idea. Another major scientific thing we are thinking of doing is sending a manned spacecraft to Mars. One of the scientists pushing this idea is Carl Sagan, the same person responsible for making sure that the first man-made object to leave the solar system had engravings of naked people on it.

The reason we need to go to Mars is that we would gain important clues regarding the nature of the No! Wait! We already used that one. What I mean is, the reason we need to go to Mars is that otherwise the Soviets might get there first and establish a base from which they could easily spread communism to Jupiter. But there would be practical benefits to you, the taxpayer. Because if we can solve the incredibly complex technological problems involved in getting a manned craft to Mars, wo might gain valuable insights into solving the mystery of how to get a regularly scheduled commercial airline flight from New York to Boston in less time than it can be done on crutches. This could very well happen in your lifetime, Mr.

and Ms. Taxpayer although I doubt it Dave Barry Knight -Ridder News Service taxpayers even tinier particles that nobody can see. The purpose of this, of course, is to discover important clues regarding the nature of the universe, which is now widely believed to consist of very tiny particles, but you can never be too sure. Needless to say, the Superconducting Super Collider concept was conceived by research scientists, who are driven, as always, by a burning desire to push back the frontiers of obtaining federal funds. I just wish I had been in the room when they thought up this particular concept.

Probably they were relaxing one afternoon, sticking needles into laboratory rabbits intention of quitting. 'Television is over for me now," Willis says in the Nov. 2 issue of Us magazine. "It's been three seasons. I'm reaching the point where I have to really pull.

I mean, how many 1986 Grammv 1 I I 1 'Moonlighting' co-star tiring of role, will stay with series times can I make this smirk?" "I was hoping (Moonlighting) wouldn't go that long," he said. Paul Block, a spokesman for Willis, said the actor's comments do not mean he is leaving Moonlight- Award Winner Sam Steiger is finding consolation from his mounting problems in the company of 'America West public relations director Daphne DiCino. It's a continuation of a relationship dating back 25 years, before the Mecham aide went to Washington as a congress-man and decided to marry somebody else shortly after he got there. Daphne said, "We've been friends for 25 years. When you've been friends as long as we have, that's best kind of relationship." When someone has been friends with Sam for 25 years, that's an astounding kind of relationship.

Even Sam must have raised his eyebrows over an item in Thursday's Phoenix Gazette that said questions have arisen about Steiger amid "allegations of extortion and bride soliciting." Is there such a thing as a Freudian typo? WHO'S COOKING? Celebrity chefs in the March of Dimes fund-raiser this week at Pointe in Type at Tapatio Cliffs and Another Pointe in Tyme at South Mountain are Mike Del Rosso of KAMJ, Jim Howl of KTVK-TV (Channel 3), and Louise DeWald from Trends magazine. Boo and hiss on that last one. She's a professional cook, and that's not kosher. STORE WARS Femina got )rave reviews for its opening party 'at Biltmore Fashion Park a couple qf weeks ago, but all wasn't sweetness and light When the manager 'tpf the next door Capriccio wandered in to pay her respects, 'Femina owner Terrl Stone instructed a security guard to show the door. Unlike most owners and manag- fcrs in the park, the Femina crew "didn't extend their hospitality to other residents of the mall.

"If they had been kind, they would have invited everyone (in the mall) to their opening, just as other stores do," said one merchant. "In the past, everyone here has been real congenial, and cooperative. We're all wondering if this is just a sign of things to come." SWEETER THAN SWINE Pinky "The Pig" Borys writes that he was pleased with the manner in which I introduced him to Phoenix society two weeks ago. He updated me on his activities. "Being a pig of breeding and background, I am currently con- tinuing my superior education at the Deer Valley Boarding School for Privileged Pigs.

My area of Concentrated study is Pig Latin. Mother and Dad (John and Ruth Borys) wish me to enjoy the benefits of my position and not, as Mother says, 'cast my pearls before I must close now in order to attend my mythology class. We're reviewing Pigasus today, and he's particular interest to me. Hogs and kisses, Pinky." is more literate than some of the dogs I hear from. BACK FROM PARIS Betty and Newton Rosenzweig have Friday Saturday Oct 30 31 8:15 PM with the PHOENIX SYMPHONY POPS ORCHESTRA Music Under the Stars at the Outdoor Amphitheater Citibank Pops at the Pointe Tapatio General Adm.

10 (bleacher); Cabaret Table $22 call 264-4754 or Dillard's NOW PLAYING! The Miracle Worker The Associated Press NEW YORK Bruce Willis, Emmy award-winning cc-star of Moonlighting, says he's tiring of doing the ABC-TV series, but a spokesman said the star had no lake A Llama to Llunch! Scenic picnic walks to the beautiful E. Verde River near Payson. Uamas tote terrific champagne lunch for an unforgettable experience. ARIZONA LLAMA CO. 474-9155 MURDER BY DESIGN iietm Hotel, Moals, All Inclusive Weekend.

You Witness and Solve an "Agatha Christie'fSty1o Mystery. Mystery Prize fof the Winner. MONTE VISTA HOTEL FLAGSTAFF OCT. 30 NOV. 1 NEW YEAR'S EVE BALL MESA 843-8687 461-0178 CATFISH FILLET DINNER ONLY Get It Grilled, Batter Dipped Fried, Pan Blackened, Baked Creole Style or Cajun Breaded and Fried TAYLOR'S 3540 W.

CALAVAR 1 Street N. of T-DIrd 97B-1815 OFFER OOOO THRU 11-10-87 CHOWDER HOUSE Phoenix lneacre magazines and wonder who, if anyone, has the bucks and elan to wear it Betty wore her new black Chanel cocktail 6uit, which she purchased in Cannes the previous week. SWAN SONG Talk on the street has a formerly prosperous company poised to go down the tubes any day. The founder of the company is in the throes of a messy divorce. Not only that, his children are reportedly ready to file suit against three trustees of their trust fund (all close friends of their dad) for misuse of funds.

Seems that around $25 million in that fund was swapped for now worthless shares in the company. One of those trustees gave a blunt "no comment" MAIL CALL article about Terry (Goddard) and Brooke (Newell) was interesting enough, but what else can you reveal about her? Please give your readers facts, facts, facts. Snoopy." Dear Snoopy: I gave the facts a few months ago. However, since it was summertime and lots of people may have been out of town, here's the info again. Now pay attention: Brooke lives in New York City, where she is in personnel counseling.

She used to be vice president of a bank. The mayor met her early last spring at a meeting in Tucson and it must have been something in the cholla because they've been seeing each other regularly either Terry in New York, or Brooke in Phoenix ever since. She is tall, blond, slender, attractive and charming. STARS SHINE Lots of big names have been mucking around the southern part of our state filming Once Upon a Texas Train in Old Tucson and Mescal. Richard Wldmark, Willie Nelson, Angle Dickinson, Chuck Connors, Shaun Cassidy, Ken Curtis (Festus of Gunsmoke), Jack Elam, Gene Evans and Stu Whitman are featured in the comedy dramaWestern.

An-gie plays Richard Widmark's wife with a past history of dating Willie. (The woman has no taste in either case, but movieland never did pay attention to little things like that.) Gregg Ostro of GO Media was on site filming for Entertainment Tonight. The Oct 20 segment of JSTis to feature Willie boy. SHORT STUFF: At the Junior League's Gift Mart, one of the activities was "High Tea at the Plaza." Actually, in England the real muckety-mucks enjoy afternoon tea. High tea is strictly the province of the blue-collar class.

So much for puttin' on the ritz. The Imelda Marcos of the Navajo Nation, Wanda MacDonald, invited about 50 people to a black-tie dinner Saturday night at the Hyatt Regency in Scottsdale to celebrate her 50th birthday. Word says that really big bucks were spent on the, bash. Trends publisher Danny Medina is advertising for a new editor to fill the post that was left vacant by Elle Schultz. Only the young need apply, apparently, since Danny was heard to comment that he didn't want any "menopausal women." He didn't return phone calls asking if he would prefer menopausal men.

BENSON HEDGES LARRY CARLTON THE YELLOWJACKETS October SURGf ON rjtNffWS WARNING: Smoking Ctuiti lung Cincei. Hem Oistaie. (mjhystmt. And May Complicate Pteqnancy 21st November 16th jii The Men off (Askjbout our Champagne Circle!) JOS 254-2151 THE 1987 GLENDALE FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS OCTOBER 24 25 SATURDAY 10 -5 P.M. SUNDAY 12 -5 P.M.

MURPHY PARK IN DOWNTOWN GLENDALE 58TH AVENUE GLENDALE A VISUAL DELIGHT A MUSICAL RHAPSODY A DELECTABLE FEAST FREE ADMISSION FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 435-4 100 ing. Block said the interview with Us took place about 10 weeks ago. Since then, Block said, Willis has told reporters at the Emmy Awards: "I'm honoring my contract. I'm staying for the duration." 3 October 18 ICE CAPADES ALBUM GASTROL GTX FALLNATIONALS RONNIE MILSAP JOHN STEWART MR. MISTER October 18-19 UEGE PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA October 19 BUFFALO GUITAR QUARTET October 20-24 GUITAR FESTIVAL 1987 October 20 SUNS VS.

DENVER PRE SEASON GAME October 21 BALLET ARIZONA-FIREBIRD THE YELLOWJACKETS LARRY CARLTON JAZZ-TAP ENSEMBLE October 21 -31 LANDSCAPE OF THE BODY October 22 ft 4 KITARO October 22-23 PHOENIX SYMPHONY-PETER FRANKL 'SPUTTIN HAIRS' October 23 IN THE MOOD DINNER DANCE' -FLAGSTAFF October 23-24 HIGH SCHOOL RAP-OFF October 23-25 BEN VEREEN WEST SIDE STORY-FLAGSTAFF October 23-24 30-31 MY FAIR LADY October 23-25 PURLIE October 24 SOCIETY SOCK HOP-SINGLES l4 4 NAU VS. MONTANA STATE October 24 4 26 CLAUDE BOLUNG TRIO October 25 SUN CITY SYMPHONY-SANTIAGO RODRIGUEZ October 26 MUSIC FACULTY SHOWCASE October 27 ALIA VON BUCH October 28-29 GRENADIER GUARDS ft GORDON HIGHLANDERS BUDDY DE FRANCO October 29 PHOENIX SYMPHONY CHAMBER ORCHESTRA October 29 31 ARIZONA OPERA-ROMEO A JULIET 4 6SC service lee per ticket Additional outlets ASU: Gammage. Phoemi Ctvic Plva Sundome. NAU Student Union Tucson Convnurvty Center EasisKtc City Hal Information: 287-1246. r4 TFtT 1 1 returned from a visit to Paris, and be relishing the memories for a long time.

Annie and Lee Stanfleld gave a party for them in the magnificent Stanfield apartment on Place Vauban, overlooking the grounds of Napoleon's tomb. .,1 It was a colorful mix of French and Americans, many of whom have residences here as well as in France. The guest list included ambassadors, governors, barons and marquises, as well as the foremost female politician of France, Simone Viel, who lives in the same building as the Stanfields. Patrick Feau, who resides most of the year in Phoenix, was one of the guests. There were beaucoup red ro-se'ttes on men's lapels, which indi-cates receipt of the French Legion of Honor, and women were in French couture.

That's the kind of 'glamorous clothing you see in 1 A huge platter piled high with a chile rtlleno, 2 tostadas; 2 enchiladas, 2 tacos, a chimichanga and served with rice and beans. It's an unbelievable dinner (or 2 at an unbeatable pricel A $21 value for just $995! El ultimo feast for 2 RONNIE MILSAP Duke Ellington's SOPHISTICATED LADIES Evening Performance November 12-1 4th Sat. Matinee on 14th The 30th ANNIVERSARY fttm OF ROCK N' ROLL! Sat, Nov 21st. "iSSE A Salute to the History of Rock Roll. Come see the original stars perform their greatest hits KslX Phoenix 4420 Camelback Rd.

952-6031 Phoenix 7th Sin Missouri 274-11 Phoenix 3301 W. Peoria Aw. Near Mctroccnlor 866-1850 Scotttdale Indian School Rd. 945-1647 "fcmpe 1604 Southern Ave. 820-0400 Opening Soon Phoenix 3933 East Thundcrbird at 40th Street 992-2650 iff.

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