The Sydney Morning Herald from Sydney, New South Wales, Australia • Page 25

Stay 0 AY IT'S NATIONAL FAMILY DAY IT'S FIRE AWARENESS WEEK AFI FILM TV AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED I if. ft I vvas not taking a lack! T- I kJ.SuI (Hi 3'" head of Virgin Radio, Richard Branson, has appointed Coleman and his colleague, Russ Williams, to present the drive-time slot. Coleman told TNT magazine: "I'm close with Richard. I've never slept with him, but it's not out of the question to sleep with him before Christmas as a special pressie." So Coleman can now go out at night, party till the early hours, sleep in till midday, and return his body clock to normality. A happy ending.

Rag waived WE asked last week if any reader could confirm our impression that in the new sci-fi horror film Event Horizon, Sam Neill is wearing an arm patch that contains an Aboriginal flag and the Southern -Cross. Many readers phoned to say that it looked that way to them, too. Best of all, the film's distributor, UIP, sent us a photo and an explanation. Apparently the film's director encouraged the actors to wear the flags of their various countries on their uniforms. Sam Neill had his Australian flag updated to the way he thinks it should look in 2047 (we always knew Sam wasn't really a Kiwi).

In a similar spirit, Joely Richardson, who plays a British astronaut, is wearing the flag of United Europe rather than the Union Jack. Monarchists should therefore feel free to stay home. PRECEDENTS GOSSIP A legend burns back GERMAINE Greer, who has been holidaying somewhere in Australia for the past week, came out of seclusion in Melbourne yesterday and proved she had lost none of her talent to abuse. Her interview on radio 3AW included the observations that Australia should become an "Aborigine the National Gallery of Victoria was "pathetic" to close the Serrano Piss Christ exhibition, men are "poor buggers" and Melbourne is "a tiny little Some highlights: 1. "People always think that I've changed my mind.

People who think that The Female Eunuch was all about, you know, go out and get laid it wasn't. Wrong. Have another look. It's not what it's about." 2. "I feel sorry for men.

I feel sorry for men in lots of ways. I think their sexuality is a real problem, it never leaves them alone." 3. "There's nothing to say that Piss Christ was actually in piss. It was probably, you know, in Budweiser. Well, that's just piss anyway." 4.

"I've just spent a week with the Aborigines. They're the land-owners and the aristocrats and the ruling class, and the place for them is the Upper House, the House of Lords Just like the House of Lords, most of the time they wouldn't show up but when there were things that were important they'd show up. They would stop us doing really dumb things." Dawn to dusk THIS column has been accused of delighting in the failures of Australians overseas. Just to prove this is not the case, we can tell you right how that Jonathan Coleman has a new job. Last week we reported that Coleman, known in Britain as "the Ayers Rock of the air had been fired from the breakfast shift on London's Virgin Radio, and replaced by a British "shock jock" named Chris Evans.

Now we learn two supplementary details: a) Kell-ogg's Cornflakes has withdrawn its sponsorship of the breakfast show because Evans does not fit with its "family values" image; and b) the MonffEMy aosEirailoaiini a FEEDBACK The rain sets in ELIZABETHAN poets found that the ideal form in which to express deep feelings was The Sonnet. Readers of Stay in Touch have discovered a better verse structure, which future scholars will no doubt refer to as The Candle. Tim Bleakley, of Lennox Head, applies this structure to his sporting sentiments Goodbye Super League May we never see you any more. I'm afraid that we've forgotten Why you came to us at ally Your game is not the same And now you've dug yourself a hole. Many joined with wallets open, Some even sold their soul.

And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind. Never staying a moment longer When the passion set in. And I would have liked to see you When Harragon held the Cup. Your candle burned out on that day And now your time is up. Cheri Lutz, of Stanmore, finds inspiration on television, subtitling her song "An ode to Cracker" Goodbye dear old Fitz.

You may have solved your last bloody crime, Had your last scotch and fag In Channel 7 prime time. But we will never forget How your life seemed to go down the drain Choosing to stay with your wife Giving up the luscious young Jane And it seemed to me you live your life Like a fat slob ith bad wind. Always staying a moment longer At your local inn And the memory will always haunt us When we watch those old reruns Your candle burned out long before Those damned Americans. And a person who wishes to remain nameless feels strongly about financial changes Goodbye AMP It's sad we'll never see you any more Although we've not forgotten You once had fairness at your core But now all things have changed And greed now holds its sway Your integrity is shattered Your reputation blown away And it seems to me you lived your life Like an oak tree in the wind Never bowing to the pressures When tough times set in And your memory will always haunt us Now our voice is snatched away Your candle burned out long before The shareholders had their say. WHArS HAPPENING TODAY is October 14, birthday of saintly UK Bond Roger Moore (1927); Zairean boxing promoter Mobutu Sese Seko (1930); UK celibate Sir Cliff Richard (1940); UK singer Justin Hayward, who led The Moody Blues, the greatest orchestral band until Spinal Tap (1946); and Like A Virgin birth, Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon (1996).

Today in 1066, the Normans under William the Conqueror defeated the English at the Battle of Hastings, and all that; in 1947, Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier, flying the Bell X-l rocket plane over Edwards Air Force Base in California; in 1971, Johnny Farnham and Allison Durbin released Without You, earning them the title King and Queen of Pop. 9T'S IN the nature of dictionaries that they always lag behind the way people actually talk. By the time the lexicographers hear a new word and check if it's widely used or just an individual eccentricity, everybody is saying something else. But the third edition of the Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary, which enters the shops this week, seems to have got pretty close to Australian as she is spoke in late 1997. It contains 97,000 entries, of which 6,800 are new since the previous edition five years ago.

About 5,000 of the entries are identified as peculiarly Australian, and of these more than 1,500 are new. The dictionary's editor, Dr Bruce Moore, offered these examples of newly-recorded terms Australia has given the world Blokey (male-centred or ocker). Chardonnay socialist. Chateau cardboard (wine cask). Economic rationalism (yes, Dr Moore is convinced this originated in Australia, while the British call it "Thatcherism" and the Americans know the phen fcf A.

IS omenon as Gap insurance. Minkey (modified hockey for primary schools). Nointer (a mischievous child used mainly in Tasmania). Rollover (confess and testify to an inquiry). Scab duty (picking up rubbish in the playground as punishment).

Schoolies' week. Stolen generation. Superannuant. Yaffler (a garrulous person -used mainly in Tasmania). The dictionary contains some other new terms which Police Joke.

Ut C0WHiCSi'O(i. I'M cc lea. I'll Hi CO What's not SexLife (10) 167,100 lii viewers i Rank- 1 123 ii (October 5 to 11) 8 Tuiw (J I it' 0 are widely used here, and which many of us think are home-grown, but which Moore fears may have have originated overseas. Examples: Home invasion. Living will (a statement of a person's desire not to be kept alive by artificial means if suffering from a terminal illness).

Mosh to rock music in a violent Nimby (Not In My Back Yard). Push polling (an election tactic which involves making damaging allegations about a candidate, usually by phone, in the guise of market research). Rave party. Road rage. Shooting gallery (a place to inject heroin).

Twink (young gay male). Unplugged (a performance without amplification). And there's one word which Moore decided not to include this time because he fears it is confined to his own home town of Canberra Booners, who seem to resemble Westics in Sydney. He's still investigating the origins of that. THE TRIBAL MIND The way to VIEWERS are letting television play hop, skip and jump with their attention spans, reports our ratings analyst, Robin Oliver.

In the year of the increasingly fashionable short grab, 13 of last week's top-20 programs pitched a new subject every few minutes. The 14th, This Is Your Life, featured a string of surprise guests, each one introducing a fresh tempo to the program, while 60 Minutes and A Current Affair managed to seem in-depth by filling the whole of each gap between ad breaks with a single subject. Jazz trumpeter James Morrison proved a popular target on Your Life, the Mi THE TV WE WATCHED LAST WEEK lV'" typ i What's hot This Is Your Life (9) 633,000 viewers Rank: 3 TOP 20 SHOWS Week 33 "JW win: change program climbing to third place, though nobody could topple Blue Heelers, again pushing towards the 800,000 barrier with 784,000 Sydney viewers. Seven managed to score top show, top movie and the two best-rated infotainment shows, but Nine soared home for another triumphant week with 16 of the top 20 and a particularly triumphant Thursday, when it beat Seven with every program. Getaway, This Is Your Life, RPA, The Footy Show's New Faces special and Nighlline all finished with exceptionally strong figures.

Against this, Full Frontal comedian Eric Bana, whose ill-considered chat show was an early season the subject flop, returned to the fray with Eric, a sketch comedy format that drew 341,300 viewers and 49th spot, an encouraging start. Sex appears to be on the decline; Totti Goldsmith's SexLife, on Ten, is doing woeful business with only 167,100 viewers and 123rd spot, while Seven's hope of denting the rudities of The Footy Show with something called Hollywood Love Sex went nowhere with 152,800 (127th). Kieren Perkins returned to the pool during Hey Hey It's Saturday, his unsuccessful bid to gain a place in the world championships in Perth drawing 637,000 viewers, a 15-minute boost that pushed the show to 1 8th spot. 1 Blue Heelers (7) 11 RPA (9) 2 Friends (9) 12 Weddings (9) 3 This Is Your Ufe (9) 13 Good Medicine (9) 4 Better Homes (7) 14 Burke's Backyard (9) 5 Getaway (9) 15 60 Minutes (9) 6 Funniest Home Videos (9) 16 Beverly Hills Cop 3 (7) 7 Footy Show; New Faces (9) 17 A Current Affair (9) 8 Suddenly Susan (9) 18 Hey Hey It's Saturday (9) 9 The Great Outdoors (7) 19 Striking Distance (9) 10 Our House (9) 20 Mad Worid of Sport (9) National.