Ukiah Daily Journal from Ukiah, California • Page 14

JULY 23, 2000 THE UKIAH DAILY JOURNAL Time out Newsday Crossword SATURDAY STUMPER by M. Nosowsky Edited by Stanley Newman Readers request more favorites Dear Ann Landers: Several months ago, you asked your readers to send in their favorite columns. I meant to do it immediately, but somehow, time got away from me, and I didn't do it. While going through some papers last week, I came across an old column of yours, and decided to send it, anyway. It was about a woman who signed herself "Lady Godiva" because she liked to do her housework in the nude.

You printed several letters in response to that column, and one of them was my all-time favorite. Please print it again, Ann. Louise in Des Moines, Iowa Dear Louise: I have bee'n astounded by the number of people who continue to send me their favorite columns, hoping I will reprint them. Even though the original "favorites" ran last November, my readers are still clamoring for more. So, I have decided to devote this week to rerunning those favorite columns that did not make the first cut.

Here is the one you requested: Dear Ann Landers: I wonder if "Lady Godiva" saw the news item in the paper about an Ohio housewife. She was doing her laundry in the basement, and impulsively decided to take off the soiled housedress she was wearing and throw it into the machine. Her hair had just been set in pin-curls, and the pipes overhead were leaking. She spotted her ANN LANDERS son's football helmet, and put it on her head. she was, stark naked (except for the football helmet), when she heard a cough.

The woman turned around, and found herself staring into the face of the meter-reader from the gas and electric company. As he headed for the door, his only comment was, "I hope your team wins, lady." Kansas City, Mo. Dear Ann Landers: I waited and waited for you to print my favorite poem on Mother's Day, but the day came and went, and 1 didn't see it. You haven't printed "The Time is Now" for several years. Would you please run it again? Every time I see it, it brings tears to my eyes.

South Dakota Sue Dear Sue: Here it is and I hope it will move a great many readers to DO IT NOW. If you wait for "tomorrow," it may be too late. The Time is Now If you are ever going to love me, Love me now, while I can know The sweet and tender feelings' Which from true affection flow. Love me now While I am living, Do not wait until I'm gone And then have it chiseled in marble, Sweet words on ice-cold stone. If you have tender thoughts of me, Please, tell me now, If you wait until I am Never to awaken, There will be death between us.

And I won't hear you then. So. if you love me, even a little bit, Let me know it while I am living So I can treasure it. Drugs are everywhere. They're easy to get, easy to use and even easier to get hooked on.

If you have questions about drugs, you need Ann Landers' booklet, "The Lowdown on Dope. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Lowdown, do Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chica- gojll. 60611-0562. Did you know? BY L.M.

BOYD Bird song a classic You know the da-da-da-dum that opens Beathoven's Fifth? A birder says European blackbirds sing it habitually. So do some Mexican wrens. Higher. Two out of three Swedes live in apartments. It was none other than Homer in "The Iliad" who first came up with that memorable synonym for dying repeated by countless writers of western fiction: "bite the dust." in the center of a beehive never drops below 57 degrees F.

Ask the history scholar in your family to name. those.iparts of the inotiruled at'drie time or another by some country in Europe. They're few. You have to be an expert to recall any. ROMAN OARSMEN Most Roman war boats weren't rowed by galley slaves, but by volunteer oarsmen from the provinces.

They received money during service and Roman citizenship upon their discharge from that duty. If the King of the Jungle is the only creature feared by all the others, that's the wasp. If you know how to mix drinks, it's said, then you know liquor with water or soda must be stirred, liquor with fruit juice, cream or egg whites must be shaken. The Amazon is loaded with two-inch catfish. The blood imbibing mosquitoes like limburger cheese, too, even though they get no nourishment out of it.

IN FRENCH In French, wherein nouns are masculine or feminine, Texas and Montana are masculine, Florida and California, feminine, and that, some say, is as it should be. Muskmelons ripen after picking, but watermelons don't. In France, a professional clown paints a replica of his made-up face on an emptied egg shell, then gives it to a government bureau. It's registered. And stored.

By law, no other clown can use that face. Q. How long is a gorilla pregnant? A. 8 months. Say your dog is an unneutered 4-year-old male with reasonable freedom.

According to statisticians, it's likely that someplace out there he has 173 grand- pups. Scent of a man It is claimed the scent left by a barefoot human walker is strong enough to lead another human tracker along that trail. I'd like to see proof. It's no trick for a locust to stay airborne 12 hours. You're not legally required to'give your baby -your, lastnarne, either.

Q. Which is lighter cork or balsa wood? A. Balsa. What fishermen of ancient Greece liked least were mosquitoes. To avoid same, they slept under canopies of fish nets.

That word "canopy" comes from the Greek "Konops" meaning "mosquitoes!" A frightened hen lays unusually thick-shelled eggs, that's known, but why isn't clear. EARLYBATHS During the first 300 years of the European settlement in North America, almost all who bathed indoors did so in kitchens. Q. What was the first American board game? A. "The Traveller's Tour through the United States." Came out in 1822.

It took players from Washington, D.C., to the Nation's newest acquisition, New Orleans. Back then, people thought it was almost impossible to keep up with all the new developments. Horses love Jell-0. A saying goes: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." It's not quite right. You can make him drink sometimes.

By pouring Jell-0 powder in the water. It was Mozart who said it's far easier for a. musician to play well quickly than Q. Does Switzerland have capital punishment? A. Not since 1942.

If asked to name the only one of these United States that has no cave, say Delaware. ACROSS 1 Part of a ventilation system 9 Tot transport 15 Neighbor of Hilo 16 Embodiment 17 Jesuits founder 18 The Big (war film) 19 Inning-ending phrase 20 Shannen, on 90210 21 See-through item 22 Hagar's pet 23 Flagged 26 Vibrating crystal 30 Throughout the course of 31 Hunt down 35 Suds holder 36 Dense fog 37 Treasure of Sierra Madre 38 Pepper-upper 40 Lockup 41 Night flight 42 Needing sifting 43 Early course 46 Vichy and- others 48 Rings a bell 50 Chameleon like 54 Arpel of cosmetics 55 Bear in mind 56 Musically flowing 57 Deceptive practice 58 Heretofore 59 Swapped In a deal with DOWN 1 1979 fleer from Kampala 2 "I lack iniquity" speaker 3 Mystical poem 4 Said "Grrl" 5 Venom 6 Like (aggressively) 7 Unswerving 8 (news agency) 9 Duds 10 Go beyond 11 Concerto climax 12 Do penance 13 Time off 14 Deal with 23 Pacific island 24 Financial- page acronym 25 Nearly 27 Take back, in a way 28 Where responsibility may lay 29 Whip 31 Library slogan 32 Drift off? 33 Touch off 34 Part of HRE 36 Promise a donation for 39 Turk's neighbor 40 Michael's Family Ties sister 42 Unrenewed 43 Do to do 44 Cabinet wood 45 Size 47 Quixote's man 49 Chilly powder 50 CD, for one 51 "What for Love" 52 Outlet 53 Sum preceder CREATORS SYNDICATE 0 2000 STANLEY NEWMAN Last CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Woody Harrelson, Don Drysdale, Slash, David Essex, Tony Joe White, Ronny Cox, Stephanie Seymour JULY 23,2000 Happy Birthday: You may have to make changes this year that you have been avoiding in the past. It's time to let go and start over. Keep in mind that if someone is' standing in your doorway, no one else can get in. That will go for every aspect of your life.

It's out with the old and in with the new. Your numbers: 15,22,26,35,42,49 ARIES (March 21-April 19): Emotional anger will be directed at family members. Try to control your reaction toward others. Do things that will help you better understand the ones you love. 3 stars TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Don't get upset with officials.

It is best not to abuse the rules or regulations of the highway. Problems with your vehicle or while en route will be annoying. 3 stars GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will enjoy family entertainment; however, be careful not to overspend. Losses due to theft or misplacement are evident. Trips will be enlightening.

4 stars CANCER (June 21-July 22): Problems with your partner will surface if you haven't been a supportive mate. Try to get involved in projects that the whole family can take part in. 2 stars LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your ability to persuade others to follow your advice will be outstanding. Be aware that you may run into a little red tape if you haven't done enough research.

5 stars VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You can capitalize on someone else's assets. Your help will be welcomed, but don't take advantage of those less capable of taking care of money matters. 3 stars LIBRA (Sept.

23-Oct. 22): You will be able to come up with methods to conquer your competition. Your involvement in groups will raise your self- esteem and give you the initiative to take on a leadership position. 3 stars SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.

21): You will limit yourself if you don't speak out for your beliefs. Follow your inner voice and focus on making worthwhile improvements that will affect your environment. 3 stars SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): You can master skills if you are relentless in your practice.

Display your strengths for those who can help you initiate your targeted goals. Your best asset is your outgoing but diplomatic approach when dealing with others. 5 stars CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Parents may play a perplex- 'ing role today.

Confusion will result if you feel that they aren't there for you. Realize that they may not have a solution for you this time. 2 stars AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your quick mind will pick up valuable information rapidly.

Don't just think about the changes you would like to make in your life. Get out and do something to rectify the situation. 4 stars PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You will be inclined to spend more than you can afford. Leave your credit cards at home.

You don't have to pick up the tab to impress others. 3 stars Need advice Check out Eugenia's Web sites at astroadvice.com, eugenialast.com, astromate.com. Birthday Baby: You have an abundance of energy and can give anyone a run for his or her money if a competition is held. You are fun to be with, playful, outgoing and extremely popular. You know exactly what to do to win favors or to gain approval.

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Paul Geary, Ruth Buzzi, Lynda Carter, Barry Bonds, Amelia Earhart, Kadeem Hardison, Patrick Oliphant JULY 24,2000 Happy Birthday: It's time to get your act together. You need to re-evaluate your future direction and rid yourself of the people and things in your life that are leading you in the wrong direction and holding you back. Put yourself first and don't settle for second best. The possibilities are plentiful if you just put forth the effort to make things happen. Your numbers: 7, 12, 19, 23, 35, 41 ARIES (March 21-April 19): Show your true colors.

You cannot hide behind a mask when it comes to relationships or friendships. Speak out and say what's on your mind. 3 stars TAURUS (April 20-Tvlay 20): You will be drawn to an out-of- the-way place. Learn from your experiences and prosperous results will unfold. The sacrifices made will be worthwhile, 3 stars GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Making new friends may not be that easy.

Secondary motives on the part of any new friend should be considered. Don't be too eager to let others in on your personal secrets. 4 stars CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your plans may not work out the way you wanted. Don't let your partner stand in the way of your future goals. You need to follow your professional dreams regardless of the opposition encountered.

2 stars LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your interest in unusual subjects will lead you on a search for knowledge -and wisdom. You need to expand your outlook on life and the philosophies of those you admire. 5 stars VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept.

22): Direct your potential toward solving financial problems. Life's struggles will be based on your own well-being. Take care of minor health problems due to monetary stress. 3 stars LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct.

22): You can bring out the best and the worst in others. Approach situations with caution. Those you are in partnership with may have a change of heart if they don't get the response expected. 3 stars SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.

21): It's time to rid yourself of the problems that have been plaguing you. The individuals who have not been trustworthy must be dealt with. 3 stars SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): Use your creative perception to accomplish your goals.

Educational pursuits will bring you into contact with interesting people, but don't expect to get the knowledge you hoped for. 5 stars CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You must reflect on past experiences if you wish to understand those you live with. Put your efforts into making alterations to your living quarters that will be favorable for everyone.

2 stars AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The change around you must be confusing. Don't take what others say to heart. You need to make your own decisions.

Focus on being the best you can be. 4 stars PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You don't need to spend a lot of money in order to have a good time. Erratic spending will result in unpaid bills. Purchases made today will not be profitable.

3 Need advice? Check out Eugenia's Web sites at astroad- vice.com, eugenialast.com, astromate.com. Birthdiiy Baby: What a little dynamo you are. You have plenty of energy and lots of pizzazz. You will opposes or competes with you a run.for his or her money. You are a go'-getter who will give anyone who opposes or competes with you stop at nothing short of victory..