The Salt Lake Tribune from Salt Lake City, Utah • Page 4

THE DAILY TBIBUKB: SALT LAKE CITY; UTAH. SATURDAY 11 896, 1MT7ZD EVERT MORNING. C. GOODWIN. EDITOR TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

Dally Tribune, one year Dally Tribune, six 1 months Dally Tribune, three months Sunday Tribune, one year Sunday Tribune, six months Semi- Weekly Tribune, one year Semi- Weekly Tribune, six Semi- Weekly Tribune, threo communications relating: to news or editorial matter should bo addresaed to Editor Tribune. All remittances and business letters should be addressed to The Tribune Publishing Company, Salt City, Utah. THE THIBUNJE PUBLISHING CO. P. H.

Manager. BUSINESS REVIEW. tho greatest all field on the Western Hemisphere. That will T)e found In Wyoming 1 one of these days. Wyoming' Is the only place we know of where the' oil comes out In springs and runs to waste for want of railroads and capital to develop and make available-the oil industry in that great State.

If the oil In Wyoming exceeds in quantity that of Pennsylvania as much as the coal measures there do-, this world will run on oil for a good many years. When it comes to coal measures 200 feet thick, as they have them in Wyoming, kindred products may be expected In lllo profusion. sentiments of humanity daily shocked by Spain's inefficient avariciousness and impotent barbarities. It Is time to act, and if mediation is scorned, intervention might properly follow. SILVER REHABILITATION.

A PESSIMISTIC VIEW. York, San Francisco, London, SI 3-lCd. York Exchange, bro- S2.90. steers, 53.7;"<g;4.25. Kansas City, about steady.

Omaha, weak to lOc lowor. Gc lower. Kansas City, lower. Omaha, frgflOc lower. Sheep--Kansafi City, steady but slow.

market strong to firm. New York advances on strength of unfavorable Govornment report. Tho Eureka Democrat calls it "car- naigre root," and rails bitterly at the That proposed branch; of the Rio Grande Western, up Provo river to Park City Is a flank movement of strategic genius. "When the Dirt Begins to Fly" milfht well be the chorus of a new song of exaltation on the hopefulness of the situation upon tho beginning 1 of work on the new railroads. The Oregon Republicans have taken the old-style straddle- on silver; but it Is to their credit that they bludg-eoned the Oregonian by voting- down with emphasis the proposed gold plank.

Senator Camion's amendment to the Indian appropriation bill, that appointees must be citizens of the State where they are to perform their duties, was ruled out on af point of order; but It was the right thing, all the same. The Ways and Means committee of the House is in constant receipt of letters from merchants and manufacturers In all sections of the country urging a return to reciprocity. It is a striking example of how an enlightened principle when struck to earth will rise again. It is said that President Cleveland Is exceedingly fond of whistling that old familiar air, "Sliver Threads Among the Gold." We do not believe it. He has mistaken the word "threads" for "shreds." Silver is "a thing of shreds and patches" with him, and his monometallic whistle will never permit it to be any other way.

It is street slang to say sometimes that a man if dissatisfied with a certain proceeding Is "kicking." There are four men in Detroit "kicking" now, and it all comes through an idiosyncrasy on the part of May Stevens, a pretty- dressmaker. She at different times has married the four of them, now she is in jail, and they are kicking sure enough. "How will the woman vote go?" is the great speculation In Utah now. But Republicans, mindful of the equity and helpfulness of their principles, the jus- tice.of-their propositions, and the honesty of their acts, and remembering that these things all appeal peculiarly to the upright in heart and the pure in mind, feel that tho bulk of the woman vote must be tbelrs. A good man makes the following growl to The Tribune: What do you think of the eight-hour law I think It Is a political straddle-bug begotten by McKlnleyiam, warmed up by a Republican incubator, given birth by Debsism and tho breath of life blown Into it by tho Governor of the forty-fifth Stato In tho Union; and young as It Is it has g-ono out among the smelters and mines trying to throttle Americanism by raising 1 hades between employer and employee.

It is trying- to destroy the God- given rights in the Declaration of Independence and Constitution of the United States, which guarantees to every man the privilege to contract with his fellowmen to work one hour or two hours or any number of hours which will be found satisfactory to both. If the eight-hour law should be sustained I sco no reason why the next Legislative act might not be one prohibiting men from taking each other's notes In the transaction of business. MoKlnleyism means, if it means anything, that Senator Brown In casting his voto was right, and that the 500 sheep- men of this Stato should be paid 12 cents a pound for wool In tho form of high protective tariff, for eating up the grasses, befouling the waters and destroying the ranges of the public domain so that the children of men who are not able to support a lucerne patch must go hungry for milk, and the one hundred and fifty or two hundred thousand people of the Stato muflt work and vote for that end. It means that the fifteen or twenty rich men who built a factory at Lehl must bo paid a bounty on tho sugar they produce. That the sugar factory in the valley which gives employment to one man overshadows the mine on the mountain which gives employment to a thousand, In that It receives a bounty for its product, while the miner's product of silver has been cut down from to 50 or 60 cents an ounce.

Debsism means rowdyism and anarchism. It recognizes neither the acts of Congress nor the President of the United States, and obeys no laws but those made by tho unions and no executive but the heads of theso unions. ALLEN G. CAMPBELL. Behind tho mistakes, wrongs and shortcomings of mortals, eternal Justice stands, poising her inviolable balances.

Courts often intervene, and on rounds of public policy render decisions upon the meaning and intent, rather than upon the letter of the law. To judge whether the eight-hour law is right or not, must first ascertain whether the miners did or did not want It, and if they did, what their grievances were or are. It is not an infringement upon personal liberty for the law to interpose We find in the London Star a copy of a letter to Mr. Balfour, some extracts of which are copied below to show that the cause of bimetallsm in Great Britain is surely advancing, and that some people on the other side of the sea are keeping close watch upon what the United States is doing. The part of the letter copied below is valuable, as it points at least, gives of the line of action on it seems to us, our Government could, if it desired, approach England on the subject of silver restoration with reasonable assurance of success.

Everybody knows that the only trouble in reach-ing- an International agreement for the restoration of silver is to obtain England's consent. The evidences accumulate every day that the world is slowly crystallizing into the belief that the warfare on silver was a monstrous mistake, and that that step must in some way be retraced. The extract is as follows It was your view, a few months ago, that pending developments, a monetary aonference would do harm. It certainly would do harm, until two more gold loans and the Presidential election have presented the issue clearly to the Uni- OUT special from Omaha this morning suggests a Vanderbilt plan that would account for many things, and that is of special importance- to Salt Lake just now in view of tho recent vlsi't of Messrs. Vanderbilt and Dcpew here, and the departure of George Q.

Can- si on with them. The possibility of a reorganization of the Union Pacific, under Vanderbilt control, with westward to the coast via Deep Creek to connection with the San Joaquln Valley road, is a scheme big enough to make the public open its eyes. men. For Instance, we will suppose that the writer of the foregoing had a neighbor who was a manufacturer; that he gave employment to a hundred noodle women, that the poor women had to accept such terms as the employer might prescribe, and that he kept those poor women working in a low room 20 by 25 feet in size, and that tho room contained but one window. Would not the writer of the above be- llevo that the law should be invoked to compel that employer to improve the sanitary condition, and to increase the light in that room? ted States.

But If in 1897 a conference meets, I think the following proposal would then bo acceptable: That in the future the free coinage of silver (rupees) should be carried on at the London mint. We can then offer the other conferees as our subscription to the silver question, not, as hitherto, free; coinage of silver in India, but free coinage in England. We are indeed In a position to say, "If you others will give, silver unlimited free coinage, then so will we," and thus with both metals freely coined for the bearer in London, we have a right, I think, to limit the legal tender of silver In Great Britain, if, as Is now the case, altogether refuse to gold legal tender in India, Of course. Franco 'might say, "Oh, thanks, but we cannot afford to give sliver free coinage;" our reply to that Is, "Then England offers to do, not less but more, than you other nations can do," and we are blameless. It would put us right, and put all the others wrong; the reverse of the conditions hitherto obtaining at conference.

It would also educate public opinion abroad. And further, we could offer to withdraw the florin and double florin, the crown and half-crown, and to give the rupee jlocal currency to the forty shillings (20Rs) tender. We could even withdraw the half-sovereign, and permit those pretty ten and twenty-rupee notes now printed in the Bank of England to oulate here as pocket money, thus greatly expanding tho "monetary use" of sliver and popularizing- both silver coins and paper notes based on silver. More than this, Australia, instead of selling "Broken Hill" silver for half a crown an ounce and buying it back (coined) as she. now does, for nearly six shillings, would export silver and Import rupees, thus releasing gold, and exchanging these rupees in trading with her neighbors in India and Singapore.

Besides which (this Is an argument which has only an historic Interest, perhaps) the silver demonetization act, 3G" George was passed after the settlement of New South Wales (the niother colony), and therefore silver coin in unlimited amount Is really legal tender there, only at present they In Australia cannot get silver coined. There more, I think, than, meets the eye, In this suggestion to open the Indian mints in London and not in Bombay, New York City and go to any city In Europe; the road will stretch along- t- coast up to Bering strait, and there tunnel will connect'" it with Asia, from the end of the tunnel on -the other 'side the intersection will be made witJr the Siberian road; 'and so the only water transportation required to circle the earth will be -the crossing of the Atlantic. That is not an impossible scheme at all. The waters of the Bering strait are shallow; the straits are dotted with islands, and It will not be a great engineering feat to tunnel the whole way across, with resting place; In daylight on the islands. GOVERNMENT- INSURANCE.

contemporary sees in the proposition to pension postoffice employees "a scheme which is all wrong." The shrewdest business men in the world insure their lives. It has grown to be an act of corporations for to furnish hospital attendance upon men disabled in their employ, on condition that they pay a trifle of their monthly salaries into a hospital fund. This practice is in vogue in this region, and as a result, when a miner becomes disabled by sickness or accident, he is brought from, the mine and given the most perfect medical and hospital attendance possible, and often in three weeks receives attention which, if he had to pay for it, w.ould cost him five times all that he has ever given to the lospital. This plan proposes that employees in the Postoffice department shall pay a per cent of their the Government, so that when they become disabled by age or infirmities, they will have this fund to draw upon. It is better than any insurance company, because behind it is the whole wealth of the Government.

It is absolutely secure so long as our Government lasts. The amount required of the employee he will never feel, and when the time comes that he needs help, he will have help. We see nothing: paternal about it. To us it appears to be a most enlightened ajid prudent policy. Our contemporary says, "The carriers he had courage to sav rt i thW "TV A fur ked at her admiringly and exclaimed: ther says.

TAe have enough faith in Honestly, Maud, you are getting to be the perfect honesty of Mr i rc ul ar trittnCl CO i that the little matter of his and tell you, sir, we can't stand any long-er; that janitor you've got cUUl Mr. Carlisle's, in which, through the firm of which he is a not President, some bankers 7n York -were enabled to clean up from $11,000,000 to $18,000,000 of the people's mon-ey, was the best he could do The Oregon Democrats are an accommodating crowd, and their praise of Mr. Cleveland reminds one of the old chestnut of the young girl who said to her aunt: "Auntie, I believe you would have a good word for the devil himself." and the reply was- "Well certainly, my child, we ought to the devil credit for his perseverance. The latter part of the Oregon Democratic platform speaks decidedly better for the hearts of Oregon Democrats than for their heads. The Lehi Banner makes this comment on the recent address to the Saints: that cause anv alarm.

If ot SO1 rule to soVern In the allud ed ihe church would not to 0p its organisation but a time. But the rule adopted, men can choose which office thev will take, tne political or the ecclesiastical one. that Massachusetts has had the aistinction of a priKe-iiuht that resulted fatally, she will probably follow the example of Texas and draw the line on the safe Paul Pioneer Press. In that case which is "the safe side?" The Tribune on Tuesday announces edaonally that it prints the "Address to the Saints" in full. Pleast Pyramid.

No; regretfully. EDITORIAL PITH. declination of Carlisle tends to con- irm the suspicion that if trie Administni- ion has a candidate for President, his iame is Louis Globe-Dcm- crat. A Brooklyn clergyman who complained his inadequate salary has been fur- her cut down per cent for his lack of Christian resignation. There's a whole sermon Herald.

Democracy Is a York Press. I don't think you will have reason to complain mucn long-er. "Then you are going to discharge him?" "Xo; -I've- arranged with him to get Statesman. In the Chemical has becpme of Tom Appleton? Warn't he studying with the class last year? "Ah. yes; fellow! A line student, but absent-minded in tho use of That discoloration on the it? "Yes." "That's Weekly.

RHYMES OF THE DAY. In 1S94 it was thought times could not be harder, but they were worse in 1S95. i in Then people thought bottom had been How daintily across the street A woman trips with grace complete, While man, inferior in all, Can never trip without a. fall. Star 0 The sun doth look her in the facse In a way to greatly try her; For he'll stare her out of countenance If he makes her face perspire.

Tribune. The Ideal and the The poet sold his vernal A rhyme of buds and sylvan And from the proceeds purchased first A good stout pair of overshoes. Star. He He freely talked of dynamite. This anarchistic churl; He'd send the kings and plutocrats All skvward in a whirl- But he always let his wife blow up The tyrant hired girl! Journal.

Result of a European She came and went, as was her mood, Her morals heretofore were good; And that, too, quite alone. But, since her trip abroad, so bad And wicked bad she grown she had To have a chaperor.e Journal; The. Democratic We're looking for a candidate. It doesn i. matter who.

We're not a bit Any one'll do. We've offered it to every one: They've different plans in view. We haven't any choice at ail- Any one'll do. York Press. The moonlight loves placid sea.

Yet pours its heart out silently. The voiceless sunflowers, one by 0 Uplift their faces to the sun. The scented south wind comes and goes the rose. ALT LAKE THEATER. CMA5.

S. BURTON, CURTAIL AT 8:15 P. SHARP. Friday and Saturday Evenings, 10-11 HOYT'S Greatest Success, the Stupendous Spectacular Musical Comedy and Military Satire, A MILK WHITE FLAG. A Tribute to our Citizen Soldiers by one who would gladly join tneir ranks if he knew how to dance.

Will be produced exactly as during its phenomenal run at Hoyt's Madison Square Theater, with ORIGINAL C-VST and SCENERY. Brass Band I Newest Catchy Music' 1 A LAUGHING TRIUflPH $1.00, oOc. NEXT ATTRACTION; Primrose West's SALT LAKI-TS FAVORITE HOUSE! J. FAREWELL PERFORMANCES Of the Superb Stock Company, which will repeat two of tlitf 5eason'5 Success can look after their own interests "bet- reached, but the first quarter of this year -4, -or shows the largest number of business ter than the Government can. We Senator Sherman states his position on the money question in very direct terms, as follows: No one can misunderstand my position on the money question.

I favor the grold standard, now adopted by all the leading nations of Europe, and the. use of a limited amount of silver coins maintained as now at par wltli gold. This policy se- afflrm that in nine cases out of ten, that is not true. That is, we say the ordinary carrier, If his salai-y was, say $60 a month, would spend more than $1.20 a month in foolishness. If that $1.20 was reserved from his salary, he would never, foel it, and the result would be that upon his becoming- incapacitated he would not be an absolute pauper.

The most pitiable sight that one sees, when lie goes to Washington is old employees of the Government who have been in the departments for years, who it nothing- else, who cannot possibly go outside and make an honest live fill They are mere wrecks, living- haphazard lives as best they can, and. spending every day their time as petty beggars or petty brigands, living "on what they can beg or on what in one or another petty scheme they can wring from outsiders. We in its partisan zeal, our a wrong view of this It right on the line of the business''sentiment of the country. It is right on the line of the steady struggle that is going on in one way and another to improve the condition of the wage-earner, and in a little way to gTiard his. old age against the sufferings which come from absolute poverty.

As to McKlnleyism, that, too, has cures to laborers and all producers money some virtues. When in force, it gave 118111 p0wer for thei Sir Arthur Sullivan has just explained something 1 which all men en- pagrecl In any kind of literary work will know at a glance is true. The story has of ten been reported of the rapidity with which Sullivan does his work. He that when the fever Is on and the subject excites his fancy, he can turn out four numbers a day." "On the other hand," he says, "I have spent a week over a single song, sot- ting it over and over again, until I felt the melody interpreted the story of the words. I have thrown in the fire dozens of tunes that might have been used 'pot-boilers' and sold to popularity on my name." Mt.

Royal is a helg-'ht a little outside of the city, of Montreal people are very proud. They liave fixed a park on the height, and all visitors are expected to be in duty bound to go and take a view of the city from that height. It is 750 feet above the level of St river. Now, a Frenchman is groins' to build a tower on this height BOO feet high, to be supplied with elevators to take visitors from piatform to platform. On the first and second platfo-rriis will be pavilions filled with objects of interest.

It will be a very magnificent view -which can be obtained from that tower when it shall be completed. The company has already been organized to put it up. An Eastern paper tells us that "time it is expected, will make the of greatest ail field on" the 'Wwrtwrni Hemisphere. Farmers and men all along the of ara crowding thftmMlves Into and going into for of making a It leasing tWlr ttead places; in others, to the people of this State a great many hundred thousand dollars annually, which they do not now receive. That money was all kept here and entered Into circulation here.

Because of it the poor man with the lucerne patch was better off oven though he did not own a sheep. Because of its repeal the men of tho United States paid for imported woolen goods $26,000,000 more in 1895 than they did in 1S94. Is it not clear that because of that some thousands of citizens beyond the sea found employment, when had the law remained in force that same work would have been done on our soil, and all the cost of it would have gone into circulation at home? As to silver, the argument is strained, because the biggest free trader that ever went duck-shooting is, at the same time, the most determined enemy of silver. Then, about the Lehl sugar factory. Did that increase or decrease the cost of sugar? And what about the men who raised and sold the beets? Again, did not the farmers who did not raise beets obtain better prices for their products than they would had the soil which was devoted to beets been limited to raising grain or ordinary table vegetables? Can our correspondent, name any country except England'that has followed the theory, 'that'he'ad- vances, into actual practice that'has" not' been made bankrupt in a years? Did he never notice that the nation that mixes most brain into its raw products is the nation that rules, or that no nation can be absolutely great until it can establish absolute industrial independence? As to Debsism, that is merely a rude protest striving by unnatural means to file its indictment against manifold wrongs.

Certain fungus grows only in the darkness. There Is a fungus that grows in darkened hearts as well as in cellars, a.nd that is We labor and productions. i With a little more elaboration, it could be made more clear, although the words give no doubt as'to how the Senator really stands; but it ought to have read this way: "No one can misunderstand my position on the money question. I favor the gold standard, because I am very wealthy. I collect every year a good deal of money in rents and interest, and I want that money appreciated 100 per cent at least.

A. few of us fixed it that way in the United States; the bankers of Europe have fixed it that way among the nations of Europe. Our purpose on both sides of the sea was to destroy half this world's money, that the world's debts might be made perpetual, and the interest which we would collect would amout to just about as much as all the profit of the world's work aggregated. No one can deny that such laborers as find employment now receive for their pay money of the highest purchasing power, both for their labor and their productions. The only trouble with them is that only about half the laborers can find employment at all, arid the amount of money which producers receive for their products does not yield them 25 cents a day for their labor in production." With that explanation made, Senator Sherman's position on the money question is made entirely clear.

Here is a bit of sophistry from the Philadelphia.Press: Gold exports have been postponed, this spring to a date later than for a number of years past. The reason is plain. The currency is now no longer increased by issuing treasury certificates and the trade of the country Is rapidly growing to the level of the- heavy increase of over $500,000,000 made in the last sixteen years in the currency circulation. Now that this Increase is checked and the currency is left to adjust itself to the real needs of trade, gold begins to go abroad early in February, as it has for several years, alarming, trade and unsteadying business. Suppose Mi'.

Cleveland 1 and Mr. Carlisle about the beginning of February had not thrown $100,000,000 in bonds upon the market. Would not the gold have gone abroad in February as it always does? Isn't it so possible that it looks altogether probable that the reason gold is being 1 sent abroad is because the-re are subscribers to the loan beyond the sea, and that instead of sending- the gold, bonds are being- sent? The rigmarole about the currency being left to adjust itself to the real needs of trade' is all rot. The failures of the first quarter of this year show' whether there is plenty of currency to meet the needs of trad'e or' no The truth is, trade.needs the currency exceedingly, but it cannot give security to obtain th-e failures over reported in a like period. Tho people are paying dearly for their rashness in intrusting- the Government to an incompetent Journal.

It is amusing: and instructive to read the papers of the- State, and see how all the gold newspapers declare that Hon. Hoke Smith is wiping- up the earth with Mr. Crisp in the joint debates, while the silver papers say that Mr, Crisp had the Secretary badly rattled in Atlanta, and is liable to have him worse so, before the series is Chronicle. DC ft The native troubles in South Africa are in many particulars not unlike our old Indian troubles on the frontier. Tho natives cannot easily be made to understand some questions that would bo the subject of hot discussion in civilized com- mum'ties.

The more recent troubles roae out of a misunderstanding as to the rind- erpest. Many an American farmer has made a stout fig-ht against the killing- of bis cattle by the authorities. Little wonder it is that the Kaffirs of South Africa cannot understand why their cattle should be killed to prevent the spread of the Inter Ocean. Charles uudley Warner inveighs against the use of the typewriter in original composition, and he argues that th wordy and diffuse, not to say sloppy character, of much that is written nowa clays points to this kind of manufacture There is not much doubt that until writ ors have thoroughly acquired' the habi of dictation they sacrifice something- the grace of expression that comes wltl their use of the pen. And when this facility in dictation is acquired, there is the danger of undue' prolixity, Mr.

War ner's criticism is not without point anc Herald. PERSONAL IKENTfON, And thus, dear heart, I love you, though I'd die before I'd tell you so. Bigelow Paine in Harper's Weekly. the Favorites In the Casf fl Secure scats early. Business.

WEEK OF Maltese Pypei. Managers. Ths Great Sensations' Drama, and ready to make loans in any amount at rates from 6 to 8 per cent; privilege of paying- at end of any year. It Is said the Northern Pacific Steam- should not rave at the fungus, but Increase the light. forming to develop tkt poMiblc wealth below.

We hope but tell them now not expect' to develop President Cleveland's note to Spate, offering the mediation of the United States in the Cuban tremble, is moderate in tone and dignified in position. It states clearly the offer Is made, and justifies It from the The President is on solid ground in this matter, the vote in the Senate and House proving- conclusively that: Congress willing- to 'g-o not only to the extent proposed by him, but much ther. We trust the action In this matter is correctly reported, for the people of the United States cannot'; be expected indefinitely to tmffer in their material interttU and have thtlr to bring the greater share of the new tea" crop from the Orient for th-e United States markets this season. The steamship "Victoria," which, sailed for Yokohama a few 'days ago, is expected to bring the first cargo. -It will not be long, as the years advance arid recede, before about thV grandest of steamship lines will sail their ships out pf Puget Sound for If the Kusslans have really se' cured Port Arthur for tHe eastern of road, in four or five years jnore we 'shall in the adver- "Steamships will sail for 'Yokahama and Port Arthur four times a jThey will sail also for Yokohama and Hongkong as they do They will sail for Austral- lisia-as they do now.

With ail craft running, that will take away the feeling 1 of loneliness which comes upon a -vvhan, mid-Paclflc, the thought through mind that if' to the ship, it would drft days and days without any prospect of- meeting- a friendly sail. Twenty-five years hence we expect it will be pouibie to take the railroad The Springville Independent has this to say of the Conference, address: It gives a superior officer an ugly club to use over his applicants for advice, if he so desires. There certainly is in all avenues of life, either, ecclesiastical, social or political, a certain incentive to aid personal aggrandizement to the sacrifice of that honor which should control advice from an ecclesiastical -superior. This world is too prone to wickedness to think this will not be taken advantag-e of by men of this church and In this day of intrigue and diplomacy. It se'ems to us that if it were only intended for those who signed it, it might- just as well have been kept within their own circles and not given the public bandy about as a proof positive of church interference with politics.

The rumors of gold in Alaska are serv- ing the desired -purpose in having: the Territory colonized as to get it prematurely sandwiched into the Union by the Senatorial silver Globe. You are frightfully suspicious. But even Alaska might at a pinch be able to send Senators that would average with New England Senators we have known of a former time, Chandler of our own time, for instance. The Oregon Democrats have met and overcome all the obstacles in their path. They have adopted a pronounced free silver platform.

At the same time, it favors a tariff for revenue only, and winds up by commending President Cleveland for courage and honesty. A tariff for revenue only, even with illver. drain this country in three years of its The conirnending President Cleveland says, in "effec.t;"The President honestly Western States are unwelcome addition! to the Union, and Senator Merrill of 'Vermont will be S6 years old on April 14th. and cards are out for his birthday celebration. Judge Gary, the Chicago Jurist who passed sentence on the anarchists, has a dry wit which he used the other day on an attorney who was fuming- and fretting- because he had his overcoat stolen in the court.

"What's the matter now? he asked. a confounded out- rag-e. Had my overcoat stolen rig-ht from this room. The Judge smiled a little. "Overcoat, eh?" he said.

"Pah! that's nothing-. Whole suits are lost here every day." Si Senator Beranger is the Dr. Parkhurst and Anthony Comstock of Paris. I-Ie is leading- a crusade against vice in the French capital, but at the present moment vice is many laps ahead of the reformers. George Meredith, the says in a recent letter to an intimate friend: "Since the benignant conclusion of the greatest of, civil wars I have looked upon the American people as the leaders of our civilization." The fact that Dr.

Conan Doyle is going- to tho Soudan for a London journal has astonished many people who thought that newspaper life had no fascinations for the famous novelist. Conan Doyle, however, says that the delights of newspaper work are equal to anything- that successful novel-writing- begets. The late Lady Burton was credited with saying- that a man frequently had many for his wife, another for his amity, a third for his men friends, a fourth for boon companions and another for the that wife, if they are happy and love each other, g-ets the pearl out of the various oyster shells." i Dr. Peters, the German explorer, whose conduct in Africa has grot him into trouble, is a knock-kneed little man- with a well-shaped head, his cheeks scarred with slashes from student duels. He wears eyeglasses, and is a pronounced Anglomaniac, especially in dress, and has aspirations to be a "sport." Moreover, -he has unbounded conceit.

A correspondent of the New York Herald calls attention to the fact that the grave of President Tyler is stoneJess and nameless. He thinks that some appropriate monument should mark the final resting place of one -has occupied the of President of the United States, and he grlves practical proof of his patriotism by subscribing $100 toward the erection of a suitable memorial. SPICE. A DEAL. GLEN FULLER, Prices, 25c, 35a Matinee, Saturday, 15c.

UST MATINEE TODAY, 2 TONIGHT AT 8:15.... 50c 104 MAIN ST. SON, Haln Opp. Walker Housn. S.

D. EVANS, Undertaker Embalmer. COLLEGE GRADUATE OF EAIBALMINO. Holmes Block, 213 State St, CITY, Special attention jjlven tc the shipment i of bodies, Open all night. Telephone 364 NOTICE OF Removal.

59 PERFORMEHS. 21 SPECIALTIES. 15 HORSES AND PONIES. 8 CLOWNS. And a host of freaks, etc.

On or about April th.e 15th. I -will remove to 172 Hain. Street, second door north of Walker "bank. ALEX. I.

WYATT, Jeweler and Optician, 262 Main. st. When People Pay The Fastest Bicycle on Earth. Their good American coin they want something for ft. Our Famous Cigar is sterling value.

Made ct tht ftaest Vulta Abajo tobacco. I SAM LEW, Manufacturer, SOUTH ST. Bran tor The women are beginning- to remind their husbands that the man next door is raking- his Atchison Globe. If you have a dollar, don't show it. The man at your elbow has a Atchlson Globe.

Mrs. It appears to me, Mrs. Cutter, that your husband is a man of Iron Mrs. Right you are, and I think I can say that it is decidedly of the pigr- iron Yonkers Gazette. "You carved 1 your own way to success, didn't you Paddington?" I didn't -have much of anything to carve until after I achieved success." Record.

eay you wrote thin poem? Young sir. I must gay It" la. very' no-, ble In you to bear all the blame yourself. i "I went' to yeitertay," Maud to 1 "It.waa very Interesting and instructive." "What "It must have tariff. I'm sure it was the and about itVwas-some- thing about-free Mamie The 'fastest'' mile ever ridden on any form, of made by O.

M. Dennis at Penver, on March 27th, ON A ORESCENT NO. 1, 1896 model. The course was straightaway, iip grade, and the time was one minute eleven and three-fifths seconds. The course was accurately surveyed and the timing 1 done by four watches.

This was not done on, a racing wheel, but on a regular Crescent Ko. 1, 1896 model, wfcich sells the world over at less. HIGHEST GRADE IN QTJALITY, BUT NOT IN PBICB. joslin Park, ewelers, (INCORPORATBD.) tll-Kl MAIN STREET. "BICYCLES THAT 1 We have 23.

wheels, rents' rand ladies', and Cleveland ta'ndem ('96) our relit department. NO. 17O MAIN Having rtmodeled our Jtwtlry Im 1.