The Tennessean from Nashville, Tennessee • Page 29

mis insiJwi5i 1 MENTALIST KRESKIN Wow! He is i K'' truly amazing Q-JlLJ Page 2D Crossword 2D" Comics 4D Television 6-7D. LIVING SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1991 1 irjMflnv Sandy Smith I J) i'. 97 7 mom 'W'ir r'-' i 1 2. "Ay, me hearties," say these grins of the Pirates of the Mississippi, from left, Jimmy Lowe, Rich Alves, Bill McCorvey, Dean Townson and Pat Severs. COMMENTARY Please can jokes about Rusty's rear Designing Women's butt jokes no longer crack me up.

This season has featured plenty of potshots at Rusty, the electrician with faulty wiring where his pants are concerned. It's ironic that two weeks ago, DW devoted an entire episode to the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill debate and took a strong stand against sexual harassment Though they mentioned the Rusty issue during that episode, last week Rusty's rear returned. Throughout the season the women have harassed poor Rusty. "Rusty, bend over and fix that" Mary Jo told him in one episode. When he bent down, bis pants slipped and "Pow, to the moon." The women then laughed.

Last Monday, Rusty took Julia out on a date (and kept his pacts pulled up). It seemed to be meant as a redeeming episode, when the women find out poor Rusty is a nice guy and begin to see him as more than an object But at the tail end of the show, Rusty's pants drooped again. Please, let this be the last we see of Rusty's behind. When Homefront debuted, 1 (and I'm sure others) complained that many of the characters looked alike predominantly young and brunette and with their hair In those MOs styles. It was often difficult to tell them apart I noticed In last week's episode that both Ginger (Tammy Lauren) and Charlie (Harry O'Reilly) have become blonds.

Is WTVF-Channel 5's Dan Mac-Donald psychic? In Tuesday night's JO O'Clock Report, MacDonald referred to Vice President Dan Quayle as "the president" MacDonald wasn't alone in this frightening faux pas. WSIX-FM (98) 's Karlen Evins also called Quayle "president" in one of her radio newscasts. Ratings for ABCs Good Morning America were buoyed by last week's bus tour across the South, Including Nashville. The morning show drew a 4.9 rating, 22 share nationally. Each rating point repre-sentes 921,000 homes; a share Is the percentage of TV sets In use.

That's the highest rating for the show since March and larger than the May tour of the Midwest. But just what kind of impression did Nashville make on the show's hosts? In a wrap-up report, which aired Monday, Lunden referred to "Nashville. Georgia" and the "University of Sewanee in Georgia." The Torkelsons makes its move to Sundays beginning tomorrow. Back-to-back episodes air at 6 p.m.; the 6:30 p.m. episode features Patty Duke as the daughter-in-law to border Hodges, played by William Schallert Schallert played Duke's father on The Patty Duke Show.

The Torkelsons air on WSMV-Chan-nel 4. Ivana Trump appears as herself in the episode of One Life to Live, airing Dec. 16. The setting Is a casino. Ballots in the regional Emmys make-up and hairstyle category were not received in time to be announced with the others Monday.

Nominated were Elizabeth Llnne-man, WJFB; Linda DeMith and David DeMith, CMT; and Mary Beth Felts, CMT. Sandy Smith covers television for The Tennessean. you're never gonna get another chance like this again. These are your best pals in the world and at the very least you're gonna get a shot and it's gonna be the best ride of your life. You can always go back to doing that other "Yeah, If worse comes to worse you can always get a job," wisecracks Townson.

The Pirates' saga began about 10 years ago at the VFW Hall in Smyrna, where Lowe, Townson and Alves played in the weekend house band. "Eventually, I quit playing because of my duties in song publishing," says Alves. Lowe gave music up for his career, too. "Shiver me timbers, I used to program the heck out of those computers," he laughs. "My hair was real short and I wore a suit and tie to the office every day." Severs was a member of Eddie Rabbitt's band until he went into recording-session work.

In the course of his Music Row duties, Alves got to know him. He also met singer songwriter McCorvey. "I saw in him a guy who could relay the lyrics of a song and make you believe it because he had this unique voice," Alves remembers. "You knew It was him when he sang. It was I Turn to PAGE 2D, Column 1 We just played for free." "It was just a fun thing," says bassist Dean Townson.

"It's still a fun thing." "It came from the street," comments drummer Jimmy Lowe. "This Is a classic story," continues Alves. "Our concentration and our focus on Just making the music has taken us out of the basement, into a record deal and onto the charts." Alves, Lowe and Severs all left well-paying careers for the uncertain seas of Pirate life. Alves was the successful co-writer of the Alabama hit Southern Star and a publishing company executive on Music Row. Severs was a thriving studio musician.

Lowe was a computer analyst Townson worked in a factory making airplane parts. McCorvey was a struggling songwriter. "Three of us took a cut in pay to be in this band," says Severs. "It cost us a lot of money." Lowe recalls, "When we got a record contract it hit me like a brick in the face: 'Hey, this is for real and you're gonna have to quit all that you've built up for the last six or seven years of your life, goln' to college and rising up the damn corporate ladder. You've got to ditch all that' "But the other half of me said, 'Look man, By ROBERT K.

OERMANN Staff Wriltr JT I RATES OF the Mississippi are walking IWthe plark to stardom. The five Nash-U vllle bucaneers with the coolest band name In contemporary country sailed to fame this year with the enigmatic Feed Jake and a win as the Academy of Country Music's Best New Group. Now the act's Walk the Plank second CD has spawned the ballad hit Fighting for You and is showing signs of putting gold in their treasure chest "This whole thing just started because we decided to do something outside of our daily jobs," recalls Pirates guitarist Rich Alves. "We just missed playing our instruments and having a good time making music" "We'd all get together at Rich's house down in his basement and play three or four nights a week," adds steel guitarist Pat Severs. "And every four or five months we'd go over to the Sutler nightclub and play on a Saturday night just because our friends and families would ask us to," says lead singer Bill McCorvey.

"They wanted to know what we'd been up to in Rich's basement all that time, so we'd go over there and play. We never advertised it; we never charged a cover charge. At a glance: The Pirates at a glance: Member Rich Alves, guitar; Bill McCorvey, guitarlead vocals; Jimmy Lowe, drums; Dean Townson, bass; Pat Severs, steel guitar. Previou jobK Song publisher (Alves), computer analyst (Lowe), studio musician (Severs), songwriter (McCorvey), factory worker (Townson). Hit Honky Took Blues, Feed Jake, Fighting for You.

Albums: Pirates of the Mississippi 1990; Walk the Plank 1991. Honor: Top New Vocal Group of 1991 from the Academy of Country Music. Trivia: The group does not appear In the Feed Jake video; It doesn't put its photo on album covers; Severs is an identical twin; Lowe plays drums barefoot; "Jake" was portrayed by a golden labrador named "Pardner" In the video; the band's first name was the doggers. Ice Cube denies record racist, charges censorship The Associated Press MEMPHIS Rapper Ice Cube denies that his latest album is a racist attack on Jews and Koreans or that it advocates violence. The fact that 1 Billboard, a record industry trade magazine.

i attacked his shopkeepers who are suspicious of black customers, Billboard said. The lyrics warn: "Pay respect to the black first, or we'll burn down your store, right down to a crisp." The tune was released after a 15-year-old black girl was shot to death in South Central Los Angeles by a Korean shopkeeper who accused her of stealing a bottle of juice. Ice Cube said the song was written before that Incident The shooting Inflamed tensions between blacks and Koreans, and several Korean-owned stores In the neighborhood were boycotted and firebombed. In No Vaseline, Ice Cube tells members of his former rap group, N.W.A., to "get rid of that devil, real simple, put a bullet in his temple, 'cause you can't be a for life crew with a white Jew telling you what to do." Billboard spokesman Lloyd P. Trufelman said it was "extremely rare" for the magazine not to defend lyrics as free speech.

But its editorial In this week's editions said the album's lyrics "express the rankest sort of racism and hatemongering." Ice Cube's "unabashed espousal of violence against Koreans, Jews and other whites crosses the line that divides art from the advocacy of crime," Billboard wrote. The editorial suggests "that retailers, record companies and others in the industry should strongly protest the sentiments expressed on that album." In Black Korea, the magazine's editorial said, the rapper calls Asians "Oriental one-penny-countin' mother-f The song promotes boycotts and arson as revenge against Korean The reference is apparently to a dispute between the rapper and Jerry Heller, the Jewish manager of N.W.A, Billboard said. Ice Cube said he has as much right to express an opinion as the magazine. "I'll say the editor of the Billboard has a right to give his opinion just like I have a right to my opinion. But when he says think twice before you buy this, that's a form of censorship." At least one Jewish group urged retailers to boycott the album.

Rabbi Abraham Copper of the Los Angeles-based Simon Wiesenthal Center called the album "nothing less than a cultural Molotov cocktail." Ice Cube said his lyrics do not refer to all Koreans, all whites or ali Jews. "I never said he said. "To say 'all something' is a wrong state ment. There are bad black people and there are good black people. There are bad white people and good white people," Ice Cube said.

The singer also said his songs honestly address subjects of great anger and frustration in the black community. "When you express your thoughts, your frustration on a record, you expect not to be penalized but applauded. "I'd like to see everybody's thoughts on a record. I'd like to see the publisher of Billboard's If we could put (President) Bush's thoughts on Ice Cube appeared in the film Boyz 'N the Hood as a neighborhood gang member. He Is in Memphis filming a movie called The Looters tor Universal.

Death Certificate is No. 3 on Billboard's current album chart. record, Death Certificate, is an attempt at censorship that it M.J self smacks of I racism, said the ICE CUBE 22-year-old rapper. "I have to think of it as somewhat racist," said Ice Cube, whose real name is O'Shea Jackson. "This (rap music) is the first time America can look at the views of a black man un-censored through music." BEST ON TV City slickers find trouble down on REAL PEOPLE On: Thanksgiving Day "I like to spend the the farm when they buy a quiet retreat in the country and find it's not all it's cracked up to be on Funny Farm at 8 p.m.

on WKRN-Channel 2. NO KIDDING? Station Identification, how several TV characters got their names: 1. Jim Rockford: From phone book 2. Napoleon Solo: Suggested by James Bond's creator 3. Barney Miller: For creator's friend, Barney Ruditsky 4.

Emma Peel: A pun, "M(ale) appeal" 5. Sherman T. Potter: M'A'S'H head writer's M.D. Send No Kidding? items to The Tennessean, co World Features, P.O. Box 660', Maple Shade, NJ 08052.

BY THE NUMBERS ElviS Presley hits Billboard's No. 1 with Are You Lonesome Tonight on the pop charts In 1960 on this day in music. This song Is the King's 14th chart topper. 1976 Jerry Lee Lewis is arrested outside of Elvis Presley's Graceland mansion after waving a pistol and demanding to see "The King." 1954 Bruce Hornsby is born in Williamsburg, Va. 1944 No.

1 Billboard Pop Hit: You Always Hurt the One You Lcve, Mills Brothers, day with my family. We'll have a good dinner. My brother usually shows up. He takes home movies. We used to go rabbit hunting every Thanksgiving when my father was alive," said James Douglas, pipe fitter.

i a noni HAPPENING TODAY Mushrooms. Join In Warner Park Nature Center's free hike to discover, identify and appreciate the variety of fall mushrooms that are located there. Reservations for the 9 a.m.-noon event are required. Call 352-6299. More events listed on 2D.

i Brotherly love gets In the way of Hank's relationship with Glna on Nurses at 8:30 p.m. on WSMV-Channel 4. Com plete TV listings on 7D. I.