I'ageS-NAUGATl'CKNEWS (Conn,) Monday, June 28,1976 R«deve Dear Am: I found something in the Shining Mountain Sentinel that 1 hope you will print for "Sex Clown's Wife." The author is unknown but it sure made my day. Please share this humdinger with your readers. — Ann Fan WHY I FIItKDMVSECRETAHV I woke up early feeling a little depressed because il was my birthday and I tlnught, "Another year older," but decided to make Ihe best of it. So 1 showered and shaved, knowing when 1 went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say happy Urlhday, dear. All smiles 1 wen I into breakfast and there sal my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of oo [foe and thought lo raj's elf, oh well, she just forgot. The kids will be in in a lew minutes all cheery and they will sing Happy Birthday and hare a nice gilt for me. There t sat, enjoying my colfee, and 1 waited. Finally Ihe kids came running inyclling give me a slice of toast! I'm late! And where is my coat? I'm going lo miss the bus! Feeling more depressed lhan ever I lell for the office. When 1 K alked into Ihe office my secretary greeted me with a nice smile and a "Happy birthday, Boss" and said, "I'll gel you some coffee." Her remembering made me feel a lol belter. 1-alcr in the morning my secretary knocked on my office door and said since it's your birthday why don't we have lunch together. Thinking it would make me feel better Isaid that's a good idea. So we locked up the office and since it was my birthday I said why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in Ihe country instead of going lolhe usual place. So we drove oul of (own and wenl to a little out-of-the-way place and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch, and started driving back to town when my secretary said why don't we go by my place and 1 will fix you another martini. It sounded like a good idea since we didn't have anything to do in the office anyway. So we went to l»r apartment and she fixed us both a martini and after a while she said il you will excuse me I think I will slip into something more comfortable and she left Ihe room. In six minutes she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake and following her was my wife and all my kids and there I sat with nothing Ofl but my socks. 0 Denr Ann tenders: I was pleased to read your sane and courageous advice lo the homosexual who had been threatened with blackmail by a fellow employee — "Either turn over 25 per cenl of your salary or I'll lell..." I had a similar choice to make a year ago. I told Ihe would-be blackmailer lo go ahead and fell — and he did. He was surprised lo discover lhat nobody gave a damn. Worse yet, he ended up with the repulalion of a mealy-moulhpd troublemaker. Within three months Mr. Clatterlrap was out of a job and I am still lere. That experience has given me a better opinion of the whole human rac". Thank you for encouraging people to hang in there and face I he consequences rather lhan give in loscum. — Been Through II Myself Dear B.T.: It's always a mistake lo make a deal with a blackmailer. Once you've sold oul, your life is never your own. Th.inks for writing. . . Arc you, or Is someone you care about messing a round with drugs — or considering il? Are all drugs bad? What about-pol — in moderation? Ann Landers' new booklet. "Straight Dope on Drugs," separates the facts from Ihe fiction. For each booklet ordered, send a dollar bill, plus a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope (24 cents postage) loAnn lenders, P.O. Box 1400, Elgin, 111. 60120. that! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 loJan. 20) More gains indicated than you may anticipate. But (here will FOR TUESDAY, JUNE 2?, 1976 Ixwk in Die section in which promoting, advertising your your birthday comes and find wares; in general, to press on to what your outlook is, according better tilings, to the stars. SAGITTARIUS VV$ (Nov. 23 to Dec. 21) W ARIES 'VlcS Never minii fte odds a S ainsl (Mar. 21 to Apr. 20) 'r~w you! Keep working toward your Certain changes of plan may objectives. There is always a be suggested. Discuss fully and way for the imaginative, op- agree only if they seem truly timistic worker. And you are feasible. Don't cause needless controversy, however. TAURUS ft/—j* (Apr. 21 to May 21) W 7 Mixed influences. You may have a desire to do something be SOME obstacles, so pick "different" bul, before you do, your way alcrlly — but without be certain it will be to your anxiety, advantage, AQUARIUS 23;^ GEMINI EtfjP' (Jan. 21 to Feb. 15) ^^ (May 22 to June 21) ^^ A sudden flash of intuition in a Some changes or ad juslme nts romanticmatlerwillberighton may be necessary. If so, handle largeL Follow Ihrongh and in your usual philosophical recent barriers to happiness manner. Where you should will fall. PISCES "stand pal," however, be firm - but with tact. (Feb. 20 to Mar. 20) ' ' l< Ssi CANCER »£•% Ask. * " doubt, bul do not (June 22 (o July 23) "V-V become unsettled at every sign Crush any desire to postpone of complexity. In general, hold important moves. Strfte while the line against wavering and the time is propitious and Ihe lack of confidence, opposition is off balance. LEO 0/-C5 1 YOU BORN TODAY have (July 24 to Aug. 23) "ittW fc en endowed wilh a fine in- Be guided by logic in stress Idled and unusual versatility, periods. Give anxiety no Original and highly imagina- quarter. Be prepared to cope live, you are capable of ac- wilh some minor obstacles complishmenl in many fields— which may appear. especially since, while your VIRGO Iplfv imagination scars, you have the (Aug. 24 to Sept. 23) ' ^i happy faculty o! keeping your Stars present a quiel picture, feet on Ihe ground at all times. Inject a bit of pep into activities You are extremely practical where needed. Incentive can be and, unlike most high-flying tailored to meft top require- thinkers, are patient, raeticu- ments. i lous with details and willing to LIBRA - ' ., «•*•» wait oul the results of your (Sept. 24 loOcL 23)—* unique ideas and projects. Fine Influences stimulate Fields in which you could make your ingenuity, creativity and an eminent name for yourself: personality. Be careful, how.- writing, diplomacy, science ever, not to go to extremes in (especially engineering), anything you undertake. ' painting and education. Traits SCORPIO ... *L(. to curb: jealousy and obstinacy. (Oct. 24 to Nov. 22) "tvjfr Birthdale of: G.W. Goelhals, You could launch a new builder of UK Panama Canal; venture now if you have given it Peter Paul Rubens, renowned careful thought. A good day for Flemish painter. TH£ MEOICIN6 MAN IS <5ETTiNis MOKE PI$WN« WITH MIS IRONS -> LATSIY HearfuTJiIliet Jones THAT WAS AW PIAU... UNTIL... BUT 1 THOUGHT f£RE LEAVIMO VERV EARLY...? tmlH MORMIUG COMES.A sLEEPtess EVE 15 HO aOSSR TO AV ANSWER TO HER AWFUL DILEMMA ... Bringing Up Father / THANHS, I MAN- BeAfiDSLEV Y I'D BE VWJTS WE: CAREFUL I TO MEET" A A ABOUT GROOVy r / MAKINS CHICK.' )( BLIND DATES TOU C/lll'T (OOK- OS USE HOO IV IIIMtD, UAAtt! tv«S /\ MIL GUNNER OH HAW BOIIKER4 DURING THE I POH'T JWEAN WITH A MACHINE GUM. 1 L MEAN CAN YO J SHOOT A IWND6UN— A PISTOL? . YOUR FISTS, CAII -(Oil r— HORSE, iOU rACHEAP. DO YOU THINK I MEAN A BUS? ARE ioO REMEMBeplMG PO YOU REALIZE J,, A FIGHT iM THREE PAYS ? TSK: CP.MOIDACV TOK PRESENT Archie DAOOV WADE QUITE PROFITONA BUSIN OEAI U1STWEEK ' Snuffy Smith Benjamin Stodilert was Ihe first American Secretary of the Navy and was appointed in 1796 under President John Adams Christopher Columbus discovered Trinidad on his third voyage to the New World in 1496, VOND6R GOES SNUFFY- -AMBLIN OOWNTH'ROflPWIF HIS PRIDE flN'JOY flIW'T HIS VOUNG-UW S'POSED TO BE IN KIDDY GflRDEW? ENfOVTHING ABOUT HIS VOUNG by THOMAS JOSEPH ACROSS t Blazing 1 Kin to stout 1 Contend 4 Bogirt flim 8 Roctfish 1* Drooping 9 One of the 12 Verified Hardys UAnnaMtffo 11 Excellent offering examples 14 Be present It Port of If Commuters' South treadmill Yemen (2 wds.) 17 Singer Charles U Man or Jergens J* Prepared a drama 19 Testimony M - volatile 21 Cosmic truth, in China 22 Coach Parseghian chess champion (196M1) S Vote down 24 Wind up 17 "Hammer- 25 Former in' Hank" 2t Concluding It Banking service 31 Oar tlBovling mark II Heated * Sandy 41 Albanian capital 42 Lumpkin UDida household chore 44 Assuage 4! Baby's plaything « Sine qua DOWN 1 Wnglike 2100 Saturday's Answer M Victory cry 35 Run a Bus fl ftttl passenger Buck MMardi heroine gras 38 Passable event (hyph. 12 Instrument — 33 Agitate 34 — grievance (complain) (2 wds.) wd.) N Biblical abode 41 Tiny leaf- cuter » centesimi J Eiude 4 Set at intervals 5 Russian workers' union DAILY CRYPTOQUOTE - Here's how to work It: AXYDLBAAXR Is LONGFELLOW One Idler simply stands for another. In this sample A U used for the three L's. X for Ihe two O's, etc. Single lelters. apostrophes, the length and formation of the u-ords are all hints. Each day the code letters are different. CRYPTOQUOTES IFF ILJKHHF NZIP IJSTX'W FAJUJCX ZW IPTI NPFU T CTU ZW L Z A P ZI'W THH JU OTOFL. NPFU PF'W MLJVF ZI'W ATWP. - WTC CTLAJUZ Saturday's Cryptoquote: A BABY IS AN ANGEL WHOSE WINGS GET SMALLER AS IT LEGS GET TALLER ANONYMOUS Investors' Guide W __\^~,/ Switch to Savings Certificates? Q. Three years ago I bought 115,000 worth of 6% per cenl Treasury bonds, due 1993.1 am now retired. Should I sell oul and put the money info ??i per cent savings certificates lor six years? I figure I could deduct the loss Irom my taxable Income, make my mouey available In six years fustead of 17 and get a better return. A. You are correct, of course, on the lax deduction and on shortening the maturity of your investment (although your treasuries can be sold at any time). But in the mailer of return, it doesn't always follow lhat a 7 3 ,1 coupon means more than 5»i. As this is written your Treasury bonds are trading at around 91 which translates into a current yield of 7.41 per cent. A sale would result in a capital loss of about $1,350 which would cut your taxable income by one- half that amount. Bul you would be gelling back only $910 per bond, which, invested at 1 3 \. would give you $75.52 as against JCT.50 from the bond, a gain of only K. And you would also wipe oul Ihe -isc in market price to mainly. In fact, the yield to maturity as this is written is 7.71 per cent, not loo f ar disla nt from the 7 3 i per cent rate. No decision. But keep in mind that a sale would not automatically give you $1,000 to invest at 7», for every 51,000 face amount bond you now hold at C'i per cent. Q. Could you please list some triple A bonds which yield at least 7'i per cent A. Just sticking to recent issues, there are: Commonwealth of Australia 8>is of W»l; duPont S'.is of 2006; duPont 8s of 1986; European Coal t Steel 8 s8 s of 1984; Southern Bell Telephofle 8 l «s of 2016; Southwestern Bell Telephone 8Ms of 2016. In addition, of course, any broker can list dozens more of older, outstanding issues — all traded daily. * « * «. lam«, single, «Hh $4,500 to Invest I've bwn considering acreage In x New England slate but can't d«lde on whether to buy high priced, or low priced land. Or shooM I Itavc money In UK bank? Or stock? A. 1 have always felt that land investment can be profitable — but only if you know the area and can form some opinion of the potential. K certainly is not a decision you can make in absentia. Everyone needs money in the bank. Ever) 1 young man could at least consider a long-term investment in good common shares. (J. I am a unman, 55, ten years from retirement with money in F. bonds and banks and undeveloped real estate, plus W-to-300-share blocks oi Am. Cyanamid, A.T.&T., Baltimore Gas, Bethlehem Steel, Continental Can, Dow, Exxon, General Electric, Kcnoecott, Kraltco, Standard Brands ar.d Texaco. Should I keep these or reinvLji In growth stocks? A. I can't find any fault with what you have now. They are all good quality slock.:, ..ell-suited to your age and goals. Any attempt to argue that XYZ common would do better than Cyanamid or Dow or G.E., for example, in the next 10 years would be mere conjecture. Q. I am 52, single, earning about $10,000 and have accumulated $75,000 la savings. Upon retirement I will have DO pension other lhan Social Security. Please comment. A. A few poinls can be made: 1. $75,000 in dollars and zero in equities docs not represent a very good inflation hedg?. 2. As a single man, you must give quite a bit o! that interest back to Uncle Sam. 3. If you are self-employed, or work for a company which has no pension program you should be protecting some of your savings from taxation via a Keoghor IRA pension program. Tomorrow: That old chestrail: "I'mmsking 15 per cent on my original cost" . i .»mM. ,„„,„/ , ?« M J*« "Will 10 S. <lf« 01 nfe nrnwow.
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