The Hutchinson News from Hutchinson, Kansas on May 18, 1892 · Page 2
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The Hutchinson News from Hutchinson, Kansas · Page 2

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Hutchinson, Kansas
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Wednesday, May 18, 1892
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HUTCHINSON DAILY NEWS, WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1892. 8 * it* r fl fgrtilpt%y Y OUR G ROCER Sells it. CLAIRETTE SOAP, ]5faqdadQa»n|y| MAKES WASHING VERY EASYJ and Weight. TtiTee little ' Maidens, vife.ii, '<^BY N.K.FAIRBANK & CQ,— ST. LO J IS: > j.frV, Hutchinson, Kansas, The only manufacturers of w West of New York. G-uaranteed not to Harden in any Climate. OTTR 333R.-A.1TIDS3: "WESTERN, i i RIVERSIDE, DIAMOND, NEW YORK. DAIRY SALT. We guarantee our Dairy Salt equal to either? the 'Ashton or Higgins imported salt in every respect. Give it a trial and you i will ceretainly agree with UB. R. S. V. P. TABLE SALT. Ask]your*grocer for it. It will suit you, 3AMAH OMCQUMITED WITH THE GEOGRAPHY OFTHIS COUNTRY WIU. OBTAIN NUOH VALUABLE INFORMATION FROM A STUDY OF TII13 HHP OF THE CMcago, Eock Island & Pacific By., Th. Direct Bouts to and tram CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND, DAVENPORT, SES MOINES, COUHCIL BLDFFS, OMAHA, LINCOLN, WATEItTOWK, BIOUX FALLS, MINNEAPOLIS, ST. PAUL, ST. JOSEPH. ATCHISON, LEAVENWORTH, KANSAS i CITY. TOPEEA, DENVER, COLORADO SPBINGB, \ and PUEBLO. Free Reclining Chair Can to and from CHICAGO, CALDWELL, HUTCHINSON and DODGE CITY, and Palace Sleeping Can between CHICAGO, WICHITA and HUTCHINSON. SOLID VESTIBULE EXPRESS TRAINS of Through Ooacbea, Sleepers, Free Reclining Cbttr Can and fining Cars dally between CHICAGO, DUS MOINES, COUNCIL &LUFPS, OMAHA and US' COLN, and between CHICAGO and DENVER, COLORADO SPRINGS and PUKDLO Yin 8t Joseph, Or Kansas City and Topeka, Excursions dally, with Choice of Rooten to and from Bait Lake, Portland, Los Angelwand 8ftn Francisco. The Direct Una to and from Pike's Peak, Manltou, Garden of the Gods, the Sanitariums, andScenlo Grandeurs of Colorado. J iaThe Albert Lea Rou^e, Itst Express Trains dally between Chicago and mieApolls and 8U Paul, with THROUGH Reclining ulr Cars FREE, to and from tboso points and Kan- aaa City. Through Chair Car and Sleeper between Peoria, Spirit Lake and Sioux Falls via Koclc Island. The Favorite Line to Wntertown. Bloax Falls, the Suotroer Resorts aud Hunting and Fishing Grounds of the Northwest. _ For Tickets, Mapa-Foldere, or desired Information apply to any Coupon Ticket Office, or address E. ST. JOHN, JOHN SEBASTIAN, G «a1 bt&nager, Gun'l Tlrt, & Pass. Agt, CHICAGO. XLU V "CURE" _ ''YOURSELF! - /iftrxmWo-lwlthOonotrliiMtL Ulefct.Whi'c-s.^jterinatorrhoea* f oru»yuuni.M:;-^!tUBcbargeaak* [your dniKsi.i iur a bottle of UiK <>. It cures In ii few days 1 without tlionld or publicity of a a doctor. on-poisonous and guaranteed not to stricture. The Universal American Cure. Manufactured by . The Evans Chemical Go.l CINCINNATI, O. u. e. A. Bin, Prompt, PoUtlTS Oure for Impotence, Late of Manhood, Seminal tmleelone. Spermatorrhea, Neroomnett, SelfDIetrutt, Lou of Memory, do. Will make you a 8TR0NQ, Vigor- oue Man. Price 11,00, 8 Sun, #500. flaw/a/ Dlreotlone Mallei with each Box. Addreee Btlltta BauTilataiat 88., 89t9 L UOAB A VV. BT. LOUIS, • MO. Healthful, Agreeable, Cleansing. Cures Chapped Hands, Wounds, Burns, Etc. Removes and Prevents Dandruff, WHITE RUSSIAN SOAP. Specially Adapted for Use in Hard Water. F'lVinTHFRS;': FRIEND'* i To Young £ Mothers ? Makes Child Birth Easy. | Shortens Labor, | Lessens Pain, j Endorsed by the Leading Physicians. S Boohto' , Mothtrrt"malUdFBEE. J BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO. J ATLANTA, OA. J SOLD BY ALL DRUQGISTS. J •sseosssssssssssssosssspssssss MANHOOD RESTORED. "SANATiyO," the Wonderful Spanish Itruiodr, Is Bold wttli a Written Ouorantee to cure all Neivou, DIs- eases, such as Weak Memory, Loss of Brain Power, Headache, Wakefulness, Lost Manhood, Nervousness, Las. sltude, all drains and low of power of the GcneratlTe Organs In either flex, cacsed by over-exertion, youthful Indiscretions, or the exuaslvo ose of tobacco, 0|itutn, or stimulants, which ultimately lead to Infirmity. Consumption and Insanity. Put up In convenient form to carry In the vent pocket. Price •1 a package, or S for to. With every »5 order we live a written guarantee to oure or refundthe money. Ueul by mail to any address. Circular free in Plain envelope. Mention this paper. Address, MADRID CHEMICAL CO., Branch Office for U.B. A. *M Dearborn Street, CHICAGO, ILL. FOR SALE IN HUTCHINSON KAS BV A. I. Baumhardt, Druggist, oau door north of Santa Fo Hotel. THE PROPOSAL. It's party hard for tollers when thoy gets *» twenty-one, Fer then the time's arrived for aoUd work to be begun. A boy can bo right smart 'n slick whon ho ta In h la toons. But when be cornea of ago bo's get to show 'at he knows beans; 'Nd of tho problems as Is sot before him in this llfo. The hardest to isoluto, 1 think, is who's to be his wife. It's that what's bothered me of lnte—it's bothered mo right bad— Which onoof six youuc indies is the best that can bo hud? There's Sarah Rlggs; she's mighty Brosrt at bakln, so they say. But ain't a bit o' use whea't comes to tossin u( tho hay. 'N Ulah Johnson, she can't cook not fer a llttli bit. Bat in the fields she allers shows a mighty lot o' grit. 'N Polly Hankey's purty fine, but I'm afcard o' her; Shc'B kind o' flirty; that's a trait In wives t don't profcr. *N Marthy Pollock knows too much—she's been to boardln school— 'K thinks onless a man can read 'thout stum- blln he's a fool. 'N Sadie Potors' mighty swoet to look at, *nd alt that, But thcro is thorn as says when Sodo gets mad she's like a cat. 'K Susan Jones is rather nice; but say, she'fc kind o' quoer. She's of tho kind to Bqucoze yer hand 'n wink 'n call you "dear." 'N somehow when I meet Sue Jones I kind o waut to run For fear 'at sho'll propose to me—'nd I don't call that fun— Although I'm foud o' Susan—that's a fact 1 can't dony: But 'twnuldn't hurt her, not a jot, to bo a bit more shy. Thorn six I can't decido about, 'nscoin's that'e tho C4LS0, I've called on you. Miss Perkins—or, if you'll allow me, Grace- To say 'at what upon the hull I thlnk's the stylo for mo 'S a kind o' quiet, modest girl, seen as you of tor. -see— Tho kind 'at ain't afeard o' work, knows how to cook 'u sew. Don't sing or play planners, 'nd ain't alters on tho go. Ain't stiiok on literary work, is allers clean 'u neat; Don't know so awful much she knocks a follei off his feet; W though she's plain, has looks onougb, 'n looks sho's Uko to keep, 'N with her talkiu isn't Uko to kill a feller', sleep- That thero's tho kind, Miss Perkins, as I think 'II do fer mo; *N do you know, isorter think—I sorter think you're she! —Carlylo Smith in Harper's Bazar. His Method. A good teacher never begins his work by impressing his pupils with a discouraging sense of his own knowledge iia compared with thoir ignorance. He knows a better way than that. "How d'ye take t' th' now toachor ye've got daovm t' No. 9, Billy?" inquired Mr. Ebon Hobba of his fourteou- year-old nephew, not long after the commencement of tho "fall term." "Pooty fa'r t' iniddlin scholar, 1 guesa ho is," replied Billy diplomatically. "Why, in course, 1 cal'lato he'd hov t' be t' hold seen a p'sition as he doos," responded Mr. Hobbs. "But what I mean is, haow much be ye goin t' learn fr'm the chap?" "Why, Uncle Eb," said the boy with a shrewd smile on his freckled faco. "it don't appear t' be no special 'caonnt what we boys an gals gitt' know, s'fuiV I ken see. The main p'int is fer us't gil where we'll jost be baowed daown ro'lizin what a heap he knows. An when he's learnt us that much I guess he'll quit No. 9 an light aout fer'nother school, "Youth's Companion. ' The Dodolenoy. He—Sorry to have kept you waiting, but my watch was wrong. 1 shall nevei have faith in it again. 91*6—-It's not faith you need, but works.—Life. Kot to Be Caught. , 'Twas at the Sabbath school picnic. Two maidens of uncertain age were struggling in the water, "Merciful heavens!" cried tho pastor. "Will no one save them? Is there no swimmer among us?" "Is there a jeatice of peace in the crowd?" askod Tattered Stuyvesant, the tramp, emerging from the bushes. "1 hold that office," answered a gentleman. "But wijl" "Well, then, ladies," Bhouted Tattered Stnyvesant to the struggling maidens, "hold up yer hands an let the jestice swear ye that 1 don't have to marry either of ye an TU plunge in. I'm heroic, but not foolhardy. This is leap year!'' —National Tribune. The Bitter Truth. Cleverton—Old man, 1 should think you would wear a silk hat with a dress suit Dashaway (sadly)—You can't hire a silk hat—Clothier and Furnisher. Outttas; Down Hie Income. Beaver—Robinson tells me that his salary has been reduced. Melton—For what cauto? Beaver—Be has just been token into the firm.—Cloak Review. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. rhe Man with the Paint on IIis Coat Didn't Like the Ides. The stranger was leaning against a board fence looking dreamily into space. when the proprietor of the place came whistling around the cornorwith n paint pot in his hand. Ho stopped his whistling whon he saw tho stranger and hesitated a moment, apparently undecided whether to bo angry or not. "Excuse me Bir," he said finally, "that paint is fresh." "Fresh!" exclaimed the stranger, suddenly wnking up and jumping away from it.. "Yes, sir—fresh," returned tho proprietor, looking ruefully at tho spot that tho stvuugers coat had made. "1 put it on not half an hour ago myself." "You didn't put any sign on it that 1 can see," said tho stranger sarcastically, as he tried to look over his shoulder at the hack of his coat. "Sign! sign!" exclaimed the proprietor growing excited. "Of courso Ididn'tl I hadn't finished the job, and any one but a blumed fool with a cold in his head can Binell frosh point anyway," "Smell itl" roared the stranger. "Do you expect a man in this enlightened ago to go around sniffing the air? Do you expect him to try to smell of every feuco he wants to lean against or doorstep that ho wants to sit down on when ho is tired? Do you expect him to go abroad in this world with a suspicion that ovory one is as unscrupulous an idiot as you are? No, sir; it won't do! It" "Look hero!" broke in the proprietor, "When a man comes along and spoils an artistic pieco of work like that" "Artistic nothing!" cried tho stranger. "Yon huvo this coat cleaned, understand! Yon get some benzine and clean this coat or" "You paint over that spot again!" broke iu the proprietor. "You fix up what yon'vo ruined or I'll fix you." Ho put down the paint pot, took out the brush, and began a war danco around the stranger. "Hold on!" cried the latter in dismay, as he hacked away. "I'll fix the fonce if. you'll fix the coat." "I'll fix tho coat!" exclaimed the proprietor, already beginning to gloat over his victory, "You fix the fence!" "Give mo the brush," said the stranger. When ho had secured it he stopped and asked, "How ore you going to fix my coat?' "Paint tho rest of it," replied the proprietor gloofully. Whish, swish! The proprietor went down the street followed by the paint brush. Then the stranger took the paint pot and sprinkled paint over the fence, tho sidewalk and the lawn. He got away before the proprietor returned with a revolver, and ho is never seen on that street now.—Chicago Tribune. Too Good Eyes fur the F!E Business. Ho wore his whiskers in bunches, and his mouth was permanently open. He Btopped at a fruit store on Sixth avenue, inspected tho usual array of orangeb caref ally arranged with the big ones on top, tho strawberries, grape fruit and peanuts, and then said, "Got any figs?'' "We have just received a vory fiue line of figs, sir." "Wormy, 1 suppose," inquired tho customer. "Not a worm." "Figs aro always wormy." "Old ones aro; theBe are fresh," responded tho dealer, pulling the lid off a box. "My dear man," said tho gentleman with tho open mouth, tapping a grapo fruit argumentatively with IUB cane, "you know you never sold a pound of figs without a worm somewhere in the lot." "No worms in those," said tho dealer stoutly. The customer took up the box, looked at the second layer and said briefly. "There's a worm on the second fig." "There isn't." "Man, I can see the worm; I pan see his expression." "Gosh!" ojaculated the dealer dropping the box cover in his astonishment. "See him?" inquired the customer serenely. "Of course 1 seed him," rejoined the prOEtfietor scornfully. "I knowed there worms in the box, but you'll better £«t out of bore; a feller that can see the ^expression on a fig worm would bust 'the whole fig business."—New York T/ribune. A Narrow Escape. •During a session of a West Virginia court a darky was tried for cutting a whito man with a razor. His counsel wished to prove that the white man was the aggressor, and that the darky was physically unablo to defend himself without a weapon. Being duly sworn, "Undo Jim" was asked whether he had ever been injured in any way. "Yes, sah." "Tell the jury all 3bout it." "Well, sah, it was down in Chat'noogy. I's a-wukkin down dah, an 1 dono fell ofFn a derrick—fell sixty feet. I broke dis hyah laig, an 1 fractured dis hyah ahm in two. places, an X knocked out dem two teef, an my collah bone was broke, an 1 had three ribs busted; dis hyah yeah was tore off an hatter be sowed on agin; an de fao' is, gent'men, ef it hadn't been for a pile of, bricks dat sort o' broke my fall, I'd 'a' been liable to be L> urt serious. "—Harper's Magazine. It Hart the Other End. Julius—Whad's de matter feets, Wose? Moseby—Dad done hit me on de head \»id a club whon 1 was er standin on sum old iron.—Truth. rpen- A Largo Order. "Yes," said the Chicago drummer sively. "she kissed me on my cheek. "Buffering Moses!" said the other man. "What a mouth that girl must have."-' Yarmouth Register. for Infants and Children* *<>»«»MUhsowtfls^ptMtocMarenth »4 E reoommeod itaj superior to aaiy preecripcios knows to me." H. A. Aunts*, K. IX, ill 8a. Oxford St, Eroeklys, Jt, T. "The use of 1 Castoria• k. sosmiwsal and Us merits so well known that It see ma a work of supererogation to endorse it Few are the Intelligent families who do sot keep Castorls wlthhuijssyresoa.'' CABUOS MAWTTK, I). D. Now York City. r*t* IMsr tTtnmilrsrrtsJs Betormod Churob. C«*toH« enres OoHc, Oxissrpatlon, Bonr Sumach, DUurrboMt, Eructstlos. Kills Worms, fives sleep, sad prossstssl st Wltnolrttojnrious roadies rapes, * For several yean I have mini issfJl S our' Csstoria.' sod ahsll always oontuusti o BO aslth«s Invariably produced bessatsti results." envm, F. Puuss, M. IV, "Ths Wlm«rc?,"lma8<iTM»>»draA«VA, MswToskOMp. Tai OnrrAtra CSWPAST, Tf HOBBA* SmsjaV, star Ta HUTCHINSON STOCK YARDS CO., Are Doing a General Yard Business. Ample accommodation for cattle, hogs and sheep. This company's yatda have direct connection with all railroads running into Hutchinson—five roads. AS A STOCKER AND FEEDER MARKET these yards offer superior inducements. Best distributing point in tho west. All parties wanting stockcrs and feodors should try this market. Information fur jshed upon Application. BENJ. W, LAPP, General Manager, Mo AMMON THE BARBER. SALT BATHS, HOT BATHS, COLD BATHS. No. 20 North Main Street. Open on Sunday until noon. COMPANY. • Do all kinds of Transferring and Hauling. Especially prepared to move Iron Safes and all kinds of machinery, being tho only one In the city having the necessary articles for the moving of heavy goods •} We Pay Freight on Local or Car Lots and transfer it from any depot to any part of the city at reasonable rate.. Years of experience in boxing and moving enables us to move Pianos and Household Goods without the least injury. If you want to move your office or household goods we can do it better for you than anyone clad and save you money. ' * Storage Department. We have the largest brick store room in the city for storing goods. Parties, leaving the city can hare their goods packed by us, stored away and .hipped whenever desired. This is one of our specialties. Wo guarantee our work to be first-class in every respect and use tee utmost care. A reasonable price is all we ask and a trial will convince you that we aro the .best STOVE DEPARTMENT. We will take down your stoves, move them and take all the nlokel part* off, oil them, wrap them in paper, oil your pipe, wrap it in paper aud store tbem for the season for the small sum of 82.50, the season ending December 1, 1892. This way of taking care of stoves makes them absolutely rust proof, and makes a small job for the aaa who cleans it. We do not polish stoves, for that is out of our line of business. Hope you will give ua a liberal patronage, Hutchinson Transfer and Storage Co., E. R. LOCK, M ANAGER, Office and Barn, Second Ave, Ea t. Telephone No. 19. OZMANLIS ORIENTAL] SEXUAL PIIJLS

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